2. I'M ALIVE

1426 Words
POV (ABELIA) "Abelia....Abelia..." Like a ghostly howl that faintly echoed in my head, I could heard a name slowly repeating its self over and over again, like a spell. Gently, caressing and pulling at something primal and deep that I knew should never be touched or awoken. "Abelia..." No! No, don't! Stay away from me. I don't want this. I would rather... But it was too late. For I could tell each time it spoke, each time it rang out, a warmth raced through me. Cutting into my very flesh a pain, a desire, that all living things have. And that even if I tried to shut my eyes and cover my ears to it, the fight for survival was too ancient and powerful to be ignored or deterred for long. Quickly, my head breached the surface as air filled my aching lungs, while the white frothing angry monster of the river tried to consume me. I was drowning. I knew this, I had accepted this. And yet, my arms and legs would not allow themselves to be defeat by mother nature. Like a rag doll being tossed around by an unruly child, the river batted and threw me from side to side. It felt as if it had been hours since my feet had touched solid ground, but in reality I had lost all sense of time. The only thing I could focus on was how to make it to the bank, to safety. Soon every mossy covered rock or low hanging tree limb was an opportunity to escape. But as my fingers clawed and scrapped for a hold, each time it would slip away from me, and once again I would be thrown back into the murky depths of the water. Leaving me wondering, why was I fighting this? What was the point to it all? Didn't I want to die? Hadn't I sacrificed enough, and seen how heartless and cruel the world really was. Wasn't it better to just not be a part of it anymore, to let fate take its course and. Wait... why was I alive? Why was I here? My mind reeled as I tried to recall the events of what had brought me to these rapids. But try as I might I could not put the pieces together. For the last thing I could remember was laying in Alec's arms. Gazing up into his eyes as he said those horrible words. "Your wrong Abelia. Aesir is not my past, you are." Me? I was his past? I could feel my heart breaking, shattering, as all strength left my body the moment I recalled what he had done. How I had wanted to hear anything but. How I had wished he would say anything else. And yet, as I breathed my last breath on this earth that was what he chose to say to me. That was his damn parting goodbye. How dare he! How dare he twist me up and leave me for dead and chose that to be his answer. After everything I did, after everything I sacrificed and gave away, how could he even dream of...No, I was not this weak. I did not need a man to make me feel whole and a sure as hell did not want to die because of it. Suddenly, I knew what had to be done. I had to get out of the river, I had to make it to shore. I was being foolish and wasting precious time analyzing what was going on when death was so near. Quickly, I scanned the area, and spotted my only hope, just before a wave of water pushed me under. If I did not get out soon, if I did not get a handle on this situation, I would never have the chance to face him and ask why? Thefallen branch was just a few feet from me, but due to the pace and speed of the river I would be upon it in seconds. This was it, my only and possibly last chance to live. For up ahead the river was wider and thicker and the trees further from reach. I knew I was tired and that the very motion of propelling anything, let alone myself, against the current was going to be tricky but not impossible. Slowly, I let myself go and allowed the river to carry me to my destination, as I gathered what remained of my strength. And then, when I was inched from it I jumped. Catapulting my weak body and soul out of the water, as I prayed that my cold pruny hands would be able to hold on. The rough bark of my teether to salvation slammed into my chest, but I knew with a few strong kicks I would soon be out. Yet, as I pulled what remained of me from the water, and even as I rested my back on the damp frozen earth, I knew I did not know this place. I did not know this oreign world that I was now gazing at. For the stars above, did not remind me of home but something else, something old, ancient and forbidden. Suddnely, the smell of old paper and oil invaded my mind as a memory that felt more like a vison danced around in my head. The clicking of shoes on a glossed wooden steps as my fingers traced words on dusted binding. I could still recall the day I asked Winfred and Madeline if I could go back there, to the restricted section of the Rogue Assassin's Library. The looks on their faces of shock and awe, but oddly enough understanding, I will never forget. Had they known, did they they know? Was that the reason why I had been given access so easily by the higher ups when not even they were allowed to read those faded hand writen works. Had everyone already accepted that this is where I would end up, that this was how my story would end? For if that were the case then that would mean Alec and and I were not fated. My eyesite began to blurr and my head raced as my mind franticly tried to put the peices together. Every moment, every part of my life from my wolf being stolen by the Goldenrods, to Alec completely forgetting about me and choosing Jasmine instead, even up to the misunderstanding that caused me to end Richard's life. Each instance had been crafted and created into the perfect formula that would drive me, guide me, to give up my life. Thus, sendig me here, to this land. I could feel angry tears rolling down my face as I pulled my knees to my chest. Yet, the minute I did I gasped. Tiny. They were tiny? My feet, hands, legs, arms, everything was smaller and more compact. Almost as if I were a? Quickly, I crawled back to the waters edge to get a good look, to make certain I was not going insane. But sure enough, the face that stared back at me, the big golden eyes that peered up at me, told me I had not been mistaken. Even though she wore youth that I had not seen in many years, there was no way I would not be able to recognize her. Me. It was me, just me as a six year old little girl. And what in the world was I wearing? This cloth, this lacy frilly fabric, it was in a style from a time long since forgotten. No, it could not be, it was impossible. Not once from all my readings, and teachings, had I ever heard about magic that was powerful enough to cause one to be reincarnated in a different time. And yet here I saw, in a land that should no longer exsist. Norweden, the acient home of everything that mortals feared. My history books had said it had been destroyed before the time of the Crusades, which meant the only way I could be seeing these constellations and breathing in this air untouched by coal or steam, was if I had really traveled back in time. Suddenly a wave of emotion hit me causing me to clutch my chest as visions of people and faces I did not know began to come into focus. Yet, as I stare at the strangers before me I could not shake the feeling that none of them seemed unfamiliar and a would find out that memories can trancend death.
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