Help me , Mister

You'll Never Shed A Tear On My Account

Kazimir's POV

Shame. Guilt. Remorse. Anger. Sorrow.

All these are what I am feeling right now as I take my car keys on the table. I make my way to the front door , open and slam the door close. I enter my car and put it on drive as soon as I put my seatbelt on. I drive through the quiet and peaceful road with a high speed to my destination.

I arrive at my destination within 10 minutes and I park my car on their parking area. I exit the car and enter the lobby. I see the security guard on duty but I pass him like I didn't see him. I enter the elevator and press the 5th floor. It feels like forever as I wait for the elevator to stop and when it stops I quickly get out. I walk to the door and I ring the door bell while I slam my fists on the door until they burn. I call his name a few times so that he can hear me.

"What the f**k? It's 3 in the morning !", I hear my best friend shout on the inside and I hear his footsteps. At least I don't have to worry about nosey and snappy neighbors. There are no people on this floor, only Harrison. He opens the door and opens his mouth to talk but I cut him off.

"I messed up, Harry. ", I say letting myself in and going straight to his kitchen. I hear him following behind without a word and I know I made him speechless. I open the fridge and take a bottle of water before gulping all of it.

"W-what are you talking about? You're really confusing me right now.", he says looking at me in confusion.

"I'm sure she thinks I am like her husband now. I didn't mean to, trust me. I thought he was-", I continue my ramble but he cuts me off and stands in front of me.

"Calm down! Breathe, there's no rush. Let's sit down and talk about this, okay ?", he calms me down and I follow him to his living room. I sit next to him on the couch and run my hand through my hair.

"She called me needing my help and I went there. She slept in my bedroom and in my bed-", I could not even finish.

"She what? I thought that was the last you saw her. You said it yourself! You said you want nothing to do with her.", he shouts and I give him a stink eye. He annoys me sometimes.

"Don't cut me off, Harrison! I was in a bad mood that day, you saw it yourself. I said things I didn't mean.", I call him out and he looks at me with an apologetic look. We stay quiet for a while , just staring at each other.

"I offered her to stay with me.", I manage to blurt out after a few moments of thinking.

"You what? A-are you crazy?!", he exclaims standing up .

"She needed a place to stay and I happen to have-", the bastard cuts me off again and I clench my hands into fists.

"She is a married woman, Kazimir. ", he lectures me like I don't know that and puts an emphasis on 'married'.

"Just sit down for a moment, Harrison and listen to me. Don't cut me off until I finish, geez! ",I say calmly even though I am burning with anger on the inside. He puts his hands in surrender and sits down.

"I don't want to talk about her affairs without her permission so I will not get into detail. Her husband is a fuckup , that is all I can say. As I said, she lives with me now so you can't bring your fucktoys when you're drunk. ", I say and he looks at me in shock at my last sentence.

"Fine and don't think I am doing this for you. I need to see this woman. I'm sure this is not what made you bang at my door this early.", he says folding his arms to his chest and looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"I had a nighmare again and it got out of control.", I say with a grimace.

"What did you do ?", he asks in surprise raising his bushy eyebrows.

"I grabbed her tiny wrist in a tight grip and shoved her to the floor before panicking and here I am. I didn't even stop to see if she is hurt or not. I'm such an asshole.", I say to him shaking my head, my heart breaking at this.

"I don't know how to help you here, dude. How about you take it slow and apologise to her then after that you can tell her why you acted like that. ", he says in a gentle tone and I look at him like he is crazy.

"You want her to think I'm a screwup. No way! ", I say in sharp voice and run my hand through my hair for the umpteenth time.

"Do you have a better solution? I think this is how you should start."

"And what if she is gone?", my heart clenches in pain when I say those words.

"She is not. I'm sure she is really confused right now and she wants answers. ", he says with a yawn and I feel bad for waking him up early in the morning.

"I really hope so.", I let out a sigh and put my head on my hands.

"Are you going back now or you-", I cut him off.

"I'm not ready. I will go home after work.", he looks at me raising his eyebrow .

"I'm certain that she is worried about you and to be honest I don't think you really care.", he says with a sharp voice and I put my hands in surrender .

"I will go now then. I see you don't want me here. Do you have someone in ?", I ask faking a sad tone and getting up from the couch.

"You know it's not like that and I have no one here. I just don't want you to do something you'll regret.", he says getting up too and he walks me to the door.

"Thank you, Harry. I really appreciate you. ", I say to him meaning every word and I see his face fall.

"Kazimir, come on. I just helped you here all you could do is just give me the car. You know I always wanted it.", he says trying to pout and I laugh at him before turning away.

"Thank you for being a great friend.", I say entering the elevator and I see him giving me the middle finger before the door closes. He is crazy, that is my favourite car.

As soon as the elevator door opens, I hurry to my car. I get in the car and take a deep breath before driving back to my house. It takes 15 minutes to arrive and I stay in the car for 5 minutes trying to motivate myself. I finish my pep talk and exit the car , walk to the front door and enter quietly.

I go straight to the bedroom and enter without making a sound. I see her sleeping without a blanket on and I take the blanket on the bed and put it on top of her. I can now see her face clearly and my heart aches when I see the dried tears on her cheeks. I caress her cheek softly so that I don't wake her. She cried herself to sleep because of me. I feel like a monster. You'll never shed a tear on my account.

I make my way to my home office and work because I don't want to fall asleep again. I work until the time strikes 6:30 in the morning without a break. I go to the bedroom and take my clothes for the day before using the guest bedroom's bathroom.

After finishing up, I walk to the kitchen to make breakfast for her because I don't like eating in the morning. I know this won't make up for the pain I caused her but it is a start, right? I don't want her to think I'm trying to buy her forgiveness.

I finish dishing up everything and it looks great but I hope she likes it. I take the food up to the bedroom and put it next to the bed. I take a paper and a pen to write my short message to her. I put it on the tray and turn to her. She is sleeping peacefully and I will not disturb her sleep, she needs to rest. I place a short kiss on her forehead and I see her stir a little. Please, don't wake. Please! Please! I chant in my mind and she sleeps again. That was close.

I walk away from her taking all my work files and laptop bag with me. I make my way outside and see that Oliver is already waiting for me. He opens the door and greets me before closing it. He enters and puts it on drive before looking at me.

"Where to , Sir?", he asks politely while driving.

"Del Russo HQ, Oliver. ", I answer him back politely. He nods and gets back to driving. The day must end already. I think taking out my laptop to answer my emails.