To Seduce My Stepbrother

Death sucks

Calum starts singing and I’m transfixed again by his voice. I heard him sing yesterday but the emotions are new, touching me in all the places Mum’s voice used to touch me. I cross my legs on the chair, too stunned to do anything more.

The singing slows to an end but his smile is still intact when he says to his camera, “Alright guys. That’s it for today.” Before he started singing, he made a small announcement and apology for his long, unexplained absence. I know it had to do with his band breaking up but that’s all I know. “See you next time.” He blows a kiss to the camera and my stomach knots with jealousy. I have to find his YuuTube channel ASAP. “Love you. Stay safe.”

As Calum’s eyes come to rest on mine after ending the recording, I can’t help thinking what it would feel like to be loved by him in a proper way. Not as a brother or sister but as a man loves a woman, his lover. As if hearing my thoughts, his smile fades.

The clapping from somewhere in the room tears his eyes off me. We dart a look to our guest at the same time and he whispers, “Mum. You’re here.”

“I’m here,” Dani says with another nod. Her eyes mist, she tilts her head back as if holding in her tears. Calum engulfs her in a hug and her arms wrap around him. “That was so, so beautiful, Cal.”

A pang of pain spears through my heart. This moment between mother and son feels too private for an outsider like me. It’s a sad reminder that I have not been hugged like that in six years, that I’ll never get to see this proud look on my mother’s face anytime I sing. Death sucks. I try to brush past the duo without calling attention to myself but Calum sneaks an arm around my wrist.

“Stay,” Calum mouths. I nod, giving them as much space as they would need. His mother doesn’t notice our interaction. She’s too enamoured to look away from her son. Touching his jaw, she smiles again. I miss my mum. “I didn’t do it alone,” he says but Dani is still grinning. “Cathy helped.”

“It was all him–”

But I never finish the statement. Dani sweeps me in a hug so tight it melts the walls around my heart. Something wet touches my shoulder.

Dani is crying. She’s crying and saying, “Thank you,” over and over again. “Thank you, Cathy.”

“It’s no big deal,” I say when we break the hug. She is making me super emotional. Dani replies with a scowl and I find myself adding, “You’re welcome.”

Touching my shoulders, she replies, “That’s much better and...” Dani swipes the under of her eyes to wipe all evidence of her tears. “I’ll leave you two now to sing some more songs or something. Have fun.”

Calum’s laughter follows her as she hikes out of the room. She’s like a kid with a candy. My mum is the same when I sing. His gaze finds mine and he smiles. My heart leaps. I think I might like Calum.

“Thanks.”

Plenty emotions flow through me. I hold my hand in front of me for a handshake. He stares at the hand but doesn’t take it. “You’re welcome, Calum.”

Before the awkwardness sets in, I get moving. I squat in front of the ring light, ready to remove his phone when he stops me. “Cathy?”

I look over my shoulder to see him behind me. He is a tall mass of anxiousness and I have to crane my neck to see his pretty blue eyes. “Yes, Calum?”

“Do you want to sing for me?” he breathes out.

Oh. Wait, did he say… for him? I jump to my feet. Of course I will do anything for my lovely, sexy stepbrother. Hiding my excitement behind a mask of innocence, I ask, “Will you play the guitar?”

“If it will get you to sing–”

“It will.”

I plop onto my seat and Calum does the same. He picks the guitar. “What will you be singing?”

“Alanis. Head over feet.” A ghost of a smile plays on his lips. “You know it?” He nods again. I spread my arms and let the breeze caress my whole body. There’s nothing better than having someone who loves the kind of songs you do. Even better when they can play the guitar and are sexy. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he murmurs.

Calum strums a chord to ease me into the singing. He didn’t have to. Singing comes easy to me. I close my eyes and let the music flow through my veins. Midway into the song, Calum joins me in the chorus. The harmony of our voices sends chills down my spine and goosebumps erupt on my skin.

My eyes sought Calum’s. His baby blues are so entrancing. I want to get to know him better. His voice lowers so I can have the centre stage again. But I don’t want the stage if I’m not sharing it with him. Calum joins me to sing the final chorus and my heart refuses to stay still. My voice catches towards the end and we finish the song together.

The air thickens with consciousness, tension that’s not unbearable. What we have shared is magical and trying to describe it will ruin the moment.

“We should do more of this. Do a duet together,” I say, watching him caress his guitar. Wordlessly, he rises to his feet and I swiftly add, “If you like.”

I get no reply until Calum returns to the balcony without the guitar. He leans on the railings, taking in the large expanse of greenery out in front of him. I don’t know why he won’t look at me. I want to see his face when he talks to me. I love his blues.

“Maybe next time,” he murmurs. “Next week?”

“Is fine by me.”

Without an invitation, I join my stepbrother by the railing. I’m smart enough to leave some space between us. He notices. I redirect my gaze to the open space. There’s a wooden fence surrounding us and if I look further, I will see the gate leading into the woods. Dad does his hunting there.

Calum massages his forehead and sighs. “Back there, my mum gets so emotional sometimes.”

And I think I know why. Calum hasn’t played since his band broke up. It’s a huge deal to her.

“No biggie.” Bracing his elbows on the railing, he looks at me. I’m determined not to focus on his strong arms and how easily they can lift me off the ground and into his bed. “Can I call you Cal?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’s reserved for my loved ones,” he whispers. My eyebrows almost hit my hairline. “My mum. Band. Lovers.” My insides burn with rage at the idea of another woman kissing or hugging him. Calum is my stepbrother. I can’t have him but I don’t want another woman for him. This sucks. “Close friends.”

By the virtue of Dani’s marriage to my dad, I am a loved one, right? So I can call him Cal. I don’t do that though. “Are you dating anyone?”

If I know my competition, I can fight them off. Okay, wait a minute. What competition? I can’t have him. Calum is off limits, forbidden. But I like the forbidden. Ugh. This will be hard.

“That shouldn’t concern you,” Calum replies.

“So you’re single. Got it.” I am single too. I’ve never dated but I’ve had tons of flings. Now I want him. I trail a finger over the railing as he watches me. I want to say more but I won’t. Switching to other topics, I ask, “When did your band break up?”

His fingers start drumming against the railing. It’s his nervous tell-tale. “When I was twenty.”

“And you’re twenty-one?”

“Twenty-two by November,” he answers.

“What have you been up to since then?” I ask.

Between then and now, a lot must have happened. Calum offers me a tiny smile and I surprise both of us by slipping my hand into his shaky one to stop his tics. He sneers. His eyes tell what his lips won’t say and they are asking me what the f**k I think I’m doing by touching him without his consent.

No single idea.

But I like the body contact. I think he does too. I roll his sleeve to reveal his tattoo. My thumbnail hovers above the date under the bigger tattoo.

“What does this mean?” We are still holding hands and my free hand is dancing across his inked skin. “Calum, what does the date mean?”

As to be expected, my stepbrother turns the query on me. Calum takes my hand and presses a finger to my tattoo. A thrill travels to my core. I bite my lips to stop the moan wanting to escape. “What does your tattoo mean? Why is it a semicolon?”

“A pause.” His brows furrow in confusion and I clear my throat. It’s hard to explain. “A semicolon represents a pause. When I’m writing an essay and I use a semicolon, Mr Adams, my English teacher knows that’s not the end of the statement.” He squints and I can’t help feeling I heightened his confusion. “It means I paused, then continued.”

Facing each other with only a foot of distance between us, Calum asks, “Continued what?”

“Life.”