Film of Love

Soixante

I can’t help feeling a little bit unconscious as I entered the room again. I can’t help to be bothered by their stares and I also can’t make eye contact with people now but I do greet them. I don’t even know but what I know is that it is not my fault and I don’t even know if they are in there in the blue room, but I think the news spreads so fast in the air that even the other employees from the different divisions and different department knows what happened.

I am embarrassed about what happened to me that day and the other days before Wednesday, I also learned things from what I heard from the other people as I walk past them. I learned that there are names of the rooms where we do such meetings, consultation, private meetings, and brainstorming talks. The blue room is the public or one division meeting room, the largest. The yellow room is for the Brainstorming room—the room we go to when we need to come up with some ideas like what we did last week or a few days ago and the last room is the smallest of them all—only two to three people can have a meeting or talk with each other—it is mostly used between an artist and the production director or even just their manager.

Tuesday is just basically the day people will insight their voices and also the day they will ask their questions to get over the curious sensation that overwhelmed them. Many people ask the same question, “What happened?”, “Did you fainted?” and a few more common questions. I just gave them a pensive face, while I answer their questions. I skipped the questions that the answer might be too personal for my perspective and also I don’t want them to jump and dive deeper into my life. I’m just starting to have fun and it might be ruined by people who seem inquisitive. I like the life I have in the company when I am starting, I just realize that I am not that long in the company and it seems that too many are unduly curious about the affairs of others but that’s what I observe and I think it’s on their nature.

I also accidentally mentioned it while we were chatting as we used the yellow room again—they understand my concern and what I observed and they didn’t deny any bits of it and just gave me the advice to be careful not to say it out loud that many people can here because we all don’t want to start a fire inside the building and we also know that it is really bad to engage ourselves into a foolish and childish fight when you know you will be going to see each other even if you don’t want to.

“Are you ready?” Christine asked me. She wore a very fancy white ruffled with a plain black pencil skirt, she is gorgeous in it. She was also worried and the one who answered me when I asked who carried me to the infirmary and it was no other than the man she obsessed with or let us say she idolized, the one and only, the main character of our film, Jace Kaiden.

I am oddly confused with how my body reacted when every time his name is being mentioned. I am goddamn confused about it and I don’t want them to even notice a slight difference whenever it happened because it might or I might have looked weird for reacting like that, I am not even controlling it, it’s like an unconscious reaction from me. I want to forget thinking about those and let me push through from the thought that he might help me because we had already seen each other in the streets of the City’s downtown before I know that we will be seeing each other in the same company and the same room. It’s just unfortunate that the official meet and greet between us was postponed due to my freaking faint scene.

Every time I will be reminded of him carrying me in a bridal style, my heartbeats start to beat faster. I cannot seem to remove that scenario in my mind but now I know that he is an actor in the same company, I will try to be as professional as I am before meeting him and I also don’t want to cross the line. I will be the scriptwriter for the film and he will be the main lead portrayer and actor in our film.

Speaking of him, Christine also shared how jealous she is right now but she also clarified that the jealousy inside her is something so big and so big deal because even if he didn’t carry me she is still jealous of the woman he kissed on every movie or series he is. I just laughed at her and was glad she didn’t take it in such a bad way.

“Hey! Aryn, are you not feeling well again?” she asked again. I am being quiet just because I want to save my voice and energy later on. I do not know what will be in me when I step my foot into the blue room for the second time around.

“I’m fine,” I replied. “I just want to save my energy. We don’t know what will happen again.” She nodded her head for understanding my attitude and situation right now.

“I am surprised that our Main Director and the other people in the production manager will give us another shot,” she said. I can’t be more thankful for how considerate they are to us and it was also a relief that I am still here. I can easily get anxious and many “what if” and “Why’s” are circling my head when the statement was not been released.

“They just go on like a pro they are today and gave us another chance,”

“Yeah, I know right!”

“Shall we get going?” I asked and stand up and she also did. I look at my watch and the time for the meeting is just around the corner, so I decided to go on and gather my things and picked them up, and leave the room.

It’s just me and Tine in the elevator because the Senior scriptwriter, Mrs. Rousseau, and Ms. Auclair went there a little early from us because they want to set up the presentation. The Blue room is a big place with a presentation screen and plenty of seating but all of those seats will be filled up one by one, from the Producer-Directors to Us and the artists.

Mrs. Julia also informed us that they will ask us again about the processing rate of our work and by the time of today we only get to have about a 70% of the work that has been submitted to the editor. The editorial team of division one is the people who edit, proofread, check the flow of the story and script, and also the one who puts the puzzle pieces into their designated places.

“There you are!” Ms. Lucy exclaimed once she saw us.

“I thought you’ll be going in at the same time as the other members.” Mrs. Julia added. We let out a chuckle and shake our heads.

“Are you alright now? Do you feel good?” Mrs. Julia asked with a worried expression.

I smiled at her and replied. “I feel so good now.”

“I am concerned about you’re being but I want to tell you that you should say it as earlier as possible because the Producer and the Directors are being considerate to us.” She reminded me, also on how important the meeting is—it is not an urgent meeting but it is within the process so it is necessary.

They can’t continue the meeting last Monday because I am included in the team and I am a part of the story writing. The meeting today is all about explaining the script and the whole story, but for this time we only have the 70% of the story that we can explain and officially announce and show them the storyline.

We only know that the artists only know the sneak peek or just a bit of the plot but not the main idea or the whole main summary or plot. I also heard that some are disappointed because they can’t wait to know the storyline that day just to be moved today, nonetheless, we are here now preparing for the official presentation.

“I am nervous!” I said. They all looked at me at the same time, but then their faces realized that it is normal for most of us to get nervous.

“Don’t worry! I know we can do it!” Ms. Lucy said. “You will be presenting in the middle, not at the beginning nor the last. So you will do fine!” She assured me of that realistic and ideal points and I acknowledged it for my good.

The time flies so quickly and we are all ready to stand in front of those people.

I want the best of me for the second chance that was given to us. I don’t want them to be disappointed to me ever again, so I am finding myself a something that can calm myself. I think Tine noticed me and how shaky my body now, so she went beside me, she is a little few inches far from me and then she holds my hand as we both watch the doors opened.

The blue room is made of glass and also the doors but it is surprisingly having the feature of noise-canceling both in and out of the room. The glass wall is also half covered with this white shade or a frosted glass, so we can only see their shoes and their hairs if the person is tall enough and the rest are none.

“Here they are!” Mrs. Julia whispered but we can hear her because of how quiet and tense the room is. I tried to keep a smile but unfortunately, I can’t do it but I will try for them. The door opened revealing the “Above the line” persons and followed by the artists.

I looked not directly at them but I know they can guess that I am looking at them. I actually just searched on the internet on how to be able to practice having eye contact with strangers or someone and I don’t know if this is weird, odd or just something cleverish method but whatever it is, I think it is working.

“Good morning, Ladies!” Mr. Kevin greeted us. The others followed and when all of the members sit down on their respective chairs the director gestured that we should start now.