00 | The Deal With The Devil Himself
Forever I will be in that moment, my hands scarlet and sticky. There is the exquisite pain of loss that educates in a way nothing else can. It is as if your heart has been pulled from your body yet still beats all the same. Yet it is the proof of our love, is it not? And so it lives in me, the love that we shared, and with every passing day I recall our laughter and joy more than the moment your soul moved on.
In the moment, that flash of anger protected me from the pain. Were I to relive it, I would try to summon more strength. I failed myself, and him too. I never understood before why love must be free; I do now. It must be free or the need will warp your own nature and change the love into something it should never be. Love isn't possession, but the wind beneath the wings of the one you love. So I have something new to work on, to watch for that flash of darkness and strive to be better. The problem was never him, but me.
When I managed to get close enough to see him face I froze. His eyes were more wild than a deer caught in a trap. His feet were 3 inches off the ground, and blood trickled down his chest and into his suit. The only thing stopping him from plummeting face down was my catch.
"Wake up, wake up please. You can't leave me now!" I whispered shaking his body in my arms, his head rested on my lap as my hands covered the wound on his chest. I ripped my scarf from around my neck and wrapped it around his shoulders making sure it was tightly around him. "Wake up, wake up please. Don't leave me! Don't leave me."
"I'm sorry, it was an accident." I looked up at the person who released the trigger. How dare they say that? My mind was in another world as I pulled the gun from his suit. I released the trigger.
My hands were shaking so badly, the gun slipped right out of them. It landed softly on the body in my lap, then fell on to the concrete, but I wasn't watching the gun. Or even the body. I was watching my own pale hands, covered with scarlet blood. What type of person was I? I had already overwhelmed the small group of people, I didn't need to kill anyone. A small sob worked its way out of my throat and I crumpled to my knees, not taking my eyes off of my hands. My bloody hands.
The blood has concentrated in the folds of my knuckles making the usually pale creases dark. The congealed red-brown fluid had become caught in the webbing of my fingers, whereas the rest had been washed clean away by the relentless rain. I looked down at his body, my arms underneath his own as I tried pulling him up to stand with me. "No, no you're not dying." I whispered. It is my tears that keep my soul alive in the furnace of this pain. They cannot extinguish what has been, yet only carry me forward until a time comes when that searing pain is distant enough to forget more than remember, and maybe one day erase itself from my brain. So perhaps it may be an oddity to thank my tears and be proud to cry, yet if that's what saves me from becoming a monster, a person indifferent to suffering and sorrow, then crying is the smartest thing I can do.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I told you not to protect me, why do you never listen to me?" I tried lifting his body, swinging his arms over my shoulders. He was to heavy, to heavy for me. I cried, sobbing my heart out knowing he wouldn't make it if I didn't hurry up.
"You should've never defied me, I told you what would happen."
"Father, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..just help me...please..." He gave me a dark chuckle as he walks up to me, my arms nearly to the urge of giving out. My father stood before me as he grabs my cheeks in his arm. "Dad please."
"If I do help you, what would I get in return?" He mutters, I close my eyes and stare at his nearly pale body. This was my life, favours for another favour. but I didn't need to think for an answer because ei already knew. I already knew what he wanted me to do. Something I rejected before. If I did this. If I do this, then he would be alive. I had no other choice, I was being put in a tight position.
"I'll marry him. I'll marry the man you want me to marry. Just help him, please. I'll bring the Mafia's together...I give you my word."
"Would you produce children with the man?"
"Yes, yes I will. I will. Please he's dying...he's dying." My father smile spreads across his face. This day. This day would be the day I regret everything. I just made a deal with the Devil itself. My father.
º A FEW MONTHS EARLIER º
A few years passed by since her death, the protections away from my father was no more. I never used to be cautious but here I was. Under a fake name, a fake identity. Working in a small coffee shop that no one goes too. This was a good cover; my father would never think I would be working. I don’t even think he knows of my mother's death. He never cared for her at all, he never once gave her an ounce of love. That man was a monster. A powerful monster who could do as he pleases, when he pleases. Yes, they were many more powerful men around the world. Not that I feared any of them, the only man I feared was the man I once called a father. Till this day, till my bug age of being twenty-one. I was still afraid he would find me.
The yellow smile edged into my mind; my nightmares were surrounded by what he used to do to me. The cupboards. The locks. The cages. The whips. The scars on my back. The only thing he did do right was trying not to find us. Not that he needed me anyways. I was not the next heir to the Spanish mafia. Instead, my brother was. My brother, Santiago. A horrid man he was, much like my father. He allowed me to get hurt, he allowed me to get abused whilst he sat down and drank his water.
"Amara! Amara, for heaven sakes take these god damn headphones out of your ears." My headphones were pulled out my ears and I automatically turn my attention to my manager. My heart was dramatically beating heavily as I stared up but not yet facing her eyes.
"Oh, Ms Marina, what can I do for you today?" I smile sympathetically.
"Well first of all, you can start paying attention to when I'm calling your name, I need you to take the overnight shift." She commanded looking down at me. I drop the spatula that I was using to remove the gum stuck underneath the coffee tables. I never work over night shifts; anything could happen to me when I walk back home with no witnesses. My lips tremble as images of the yellow smile corrupts my mind.
"What! I'm sorry but it's getting dark and you know, the news and the strange activities happening and....-" She cuts me off, not giving me a chance to explain.
"Sorry but I don't recall me asking you a question. You will take the overnight, don't argue with me young lady." She stares at me with anger, her green eyes almost wanting to expand more than it should. I gulp and give in without another word, I nod my head and she leave the room grabbing her stuff on the way out. I exhale my anger and get back to removing the gums from underneath the tables. Like can they not put their gums in the bin, like normal people. A few hours passed by and I'm finally serving my last customer of the night.
This was my worst customer, yes, she was a daily woman but gosh was she so disrespectful. My hands slipped her bread into the paper bag before she makes me change it for another bread. Then she asked me if I could do a fresh batch for her. “No sorry the kitchen is closed, at the moment. Here you go, enjoy your bread.” Faking a smile, I give her the bag, wow not even a thank you hope you choke on your stupid bread.
Sighing I settle myself down on one off the coffee tables, my finger tapping against it as I hum in peace, I was so tired I didn't notice that I worked overtime. Walking towards the door, turning the open sign to close. I notice how dark it's gone and my body shivers a bit. I gulp and grab my coat throwing it on, putting my bag over my shoulder and leaving. The wind hits me, my chestnut, brown hair flowing off my shoulder.
Where is my hair band when I need it?
I decided to take a short cut and take the ally way at the same time looking for my head band until I hear a noise. I know I'm so oblivious. But I wasn't walking near the bus stop, I was seriously not bothered for the harassing drunk men to begin touching me.
Mice running across my feet. I pause to a halt at the sound of slow footsteps from the shadows, my hands hold onto my bag as I slowly unzip it. Trying to take the one thing I survived on. I swiftly turn around but no one was there. Walking faster this time, I hear the same noise but louder. "Hello! Who's there?" No answer. My body clenches as I begin to breath heavily, my eyes scope out the dimmed area. My hands continue rummaging through out my bag. "Listen I'm not in the mood, I just want to go home so if you're going to rob me, I'm telling you now, I'm broke." I groaned looking around to make sure it wasn't just my tiredness doing this to me. The sound of hands clapping come my way, when my eyes capture a tall figure walking towards me.
"Hello Delilah, what are you doing walking by yourself at night? In an alley as well," His voice cracks as he comes closer to me pushing me against the wall. That’s when I notice his eyes, his yellow smile shining in my face. The memories were unlocked withing second, I was losing breath. “I missed you Delilah, it's been too long... I miss your body...”
"Get off me!" I push him as hard as I could. Regretting what I did he instantly come closer the tip of his nose touching mine and his hands slipping down my thighs. He whispered a few swear words, my hands grab onto his wrist as I elbow him hard on the face causing him to stumble a few steps back. I grab my bag, my eyes scanning for my gun but before I could place my hand on it. My back collides again with the wall, the force of it removes the air from my lungs.
"Don't do that darling, I don't want to be rough with you." He whispers in my ear, his fingers grazing my cheeks whilst it shakes from the cold.
"I SAID GET OFF OF M-" Hands glides across my face causing me to instantly feel the stinging on my cheeks. He started getting rough by the minute and I thought I was stuck.
“Your father wants you back, I'm going to tell him I found you right after I pleasure you a little.” That moment I forgot how to fight back; I was scared knowing there would be no one to notice my existence. So, I just gave up, I begged. Something I haven't done since my father.
"P-p-please stop. No. No please," I cried out loud continuing trying to hit him as much as I could, but it was hard when he was double your weight. I could've used my skills, but I didn't. I didn’t because I was afraid. Afraid.
He begins removing my coat and unbuttoning my top, revealing my black laced bra. "It's not going to hurt don't worry, I'll try be gentle." He lifted me off the ground and unzipped his pants, I tried with every ounce of my force to kick him, hit him so then I spat at him. Directly on his face. The anger flamed from his eyes. “Thats it with you.” He wraps his fist around my hair and stretches my neck back, I groan in pain trying to grab his face when I feel my underwear being removed from underneath my skirt. I screamed loudly as I hear his belt buckle drop to the floor.
All of a sudden, gun shots started going off. BANG! BANG!BANG!
I closed my eyes not making a move as I see the body dropping towards the floor, blood pouring greatly out of his heart. My body slumps to the ground shaking my head in disbelief, my heart was beating two hundred times more than it did before. I see the blood spreading across the floor nearly reaching my ankle boots before I notice a dark black shadow takes place over the crimson blood. It wasn't something that affected me as much, I didn't really care about the blood but the fact that I was just nearly r***d. I felt dirty. Dirty that my uncle was now resting on the floor dead.
I was still dazed. Never would I have thought this would happen to me. This is not a movie for god sakes. I just stared at my uncles' body, staring in disbelief. I knew my family was corrupt. But not this corrupt. "Who walks in an alley at night?" A deep voice awakens me from my thoughts as I look up meeting a pair of tender green eyes, his face wasn't yet visible but his eyes were all I could see.
He looked at his men in front of him as they begin to pick up the man's body from the floor, this man shot him. This man in front of me shot that man. Three times. In the heart. My heart beaten; I take deep breathes to soothe myself down from the apparent accident that seemed to have happened right in front of me. "I'm fine," I stutter, I needed to get the hell out of here and go to back home now. I needed to pack my stuff and leave. I couldn’t be seen here again. His eyes go down staring at my chest, he begins to walk slowly towards me until we are three feet apart. My eyes seeing his tall figure above me as I drag myself up from the concreted floor.
"Your top is undone," His broad voice makes me shiver yet I just begin to realise his beautiful features. His big round eyes which are covered with his long eyelashes, the black long soft curls that bounced messily over his forehead, I was yearning to lean over to touch it. His jaw line was intense as it induces near his cheek bones. His nose was prominent, not perfect but from my view it was. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows as his first few buttons were undone revealing the tattoos that were inked all over his neck to his chest, towards his elbows and hands.
His eyes never left my own as he analysed my existence. Looking down at my chest, I begin to button up my top. "Look I'm fine! Okay," Letting out a breath I didn't know I had, making me relax a little. I begin buttoning up my top as his green gaze stares into my eyes as if fighting a battle with my pupil.
"I never asked if you were okay, I told you your top was undone." He answered. He bends down to pick up my stuff scattered across the floor and that's when I notice the word Omertà on his neck. He stands up and hands me my bag. Omertà. My father. He was in a Mafia. It was so clear he was part of the Mafia. And only leaders get the omertà tattooed onto their bare skin.
"Boss, the police are coming. We have to go." I shook my head laughing out loud catching their attention.
"Well, if that's that I'm going. Thank you for helping me, bye." The man in front of me pulled his blazer on, adjusting it against his broad shoulder before buttoning the bottom of it. The first step I took was blocked by the two men in front of me. I swallowed a soft gulp. “You don’t do this when someone leaves. Move.” I repeat. They didn’t budge, no one of them. I tried pushing past them only to be pushed back.
"Grab her." That's when the two men hold onto my arm within a second, I wince as I try to free myself by moving about. "You cannot leave, as of right now you are my property princessa." [princess]
“I am no one's property, you release my arms now before I-" I growled; the green-eyed man chuckled before it switched off within a second. His emotions departed and anger scowled onto his face.
"You better watch that pretty mouth of yours, può metterti nei guai," I try to yank away my arm from his grasp but it was too strong. As he spoke the last few words in Italian my heart begins speeding up as if wanting to win a race. [it can get you into a lot of trouble]
“You do not know who you are talking to.” I replied.
A black car stood before me; it was more like a truck. The two men still had a strong hold of my arms whilst the ‘boss’ walked before us. I was trying to get them to release my arms, I elbowed, fidgeted, annoyed and pulled back. But it made no use. “I have no use to you, just let me go.” The man before me chuckled, he chuckled a deep chuckle that was not for a funny joke. I looked around trying to find some sort of escape. But the streets were empty. Everything was quiet. The roads were bare and only a few pigeons walked around. There was no escape. I'm scared to move in case of being shot by this psycho.
There were two other guys standing beside the car, each end. One of them opened the passenger door. "Get inside the car." The green eyes man mumbles as he slips of his blazer handing it over to one of the men. My eyes widened when I noticed the straps over his shoulders containing two guns. The way it made his shoulder broader, he was a good-looking man. I know that. “I am not a man to ask twice, but I would allow it this time. Get in the car.” He said sternly but I stood my ground not moving a bit, I was looking around waiting for someone to pass so I could scream. But mostly so I could find a way to run.
His hands grab his forehead, I ignored him as he gently not roughly pulls on my arm throwing me inside the car. The sirens get louder and the man turns around slamming the door shut. Though I was the only one in the car, he locked the doors, the windows slightly open. "No fair man, you're meant to be on my side. Am I right Matteo?" I hear one of the guys said, I turn my head to see two men surrounding the man named Matteo. So, he was Italian. He clearly worked for the Italian leader. That man was unknown of. He was known to be feared by all men and women, my father despised the man but he would never go against him. He was probably forty years old or even older.
“Are you sure this is right? We should've just shot her along with that man!” I hear a man with brown hair mutter to Matteo.
“Francesco, are you defying my orders?” Minute by minute I was collecting names, the names of the men that have taken me. Matteo, Francesco and the blonde man who was typing carelessly on his phone was still unknown. I took this chance to open the side doors, but my luck was s**t. The doors slam shut as bodies enter the cars. Matteo slid inside the driver's seat.
Matteo starts the car, his hands onto the steering wheel. The more he grips on it the more his fist becomes pale. I noticed the rings that was on his thumb then his index finger. The veins were asking for woman attention along with the soft black tattoo that trailed down reaching the back of his hands. His right hand leaned against the door holding onto his chin as he slowly strokes his beard, "Take a photo it would last longer."
“Don't flatter yourself, I was seeing which side of your face I'm going to punch in a minute." I whispered; I hear his deep chuckle surrounding the car. I tried to look around so I can try to figure out where we were going. Where he was taking me, but it was harder than I thought when I feel his piercing eyes staring at the back of my head. I adjust my hands on the handle slowly, before opening it onto to find it locked. I can't lie when I said I was frightened or scared but I tried as much as I could to hide it.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, I have very short patience."
"What is the use of me? Just let me go I won't say a thing. Please." I begged holding onto the handle. He raises his eyebrows and stops the car. I notice the two guys in the back dead silent as one of them begins typing onto his phone. Matteo who I've known to be his name slides out his own gun. My heart rate increases as he opens to check if there were bullets which I think there was.
He then presses it against the side of my head, I cowered in fear. Biting onto my lips as I stare out the windshield. "Listen Principessa, if I let you go...you die anyways. You saw our faces, and you look like the type to snitch. So, you have two choices, stay alive or die." He slurred; the cold metal pressed on the side of my head as I closed my eyes looking down at my lap. Before right back into his eyes. [princess]
"Is there an option where I could leave?" I spoke.
"You may have pretty eyes, two different colours. Which reminds me of a family I know of but if you don't stop using that smart mouth of yours against me you will end up with one." The entire car ride was silent, I was unsettled and uncomfortable as we drove into a wooden path. The darkness of the drive. We were then introduced by huge metal gates in the shape of an M. The gate was black, it opens fully minute by minute as the mansion before me was introduced. The mansions were black, the exterior was white glass and black bricks. The fountain in the middle of the drive way took over as we swerved around it in front of the door.
Someone comes to the side of our doors, butlers more so as they open it. The way the Matteo slid out so effortlessly, I stayed in the car. I'm not leaving this car until I know I'm going home. “Get out the car.”
“No.” I didn’t care if I was being childish.
“I said get out the f*****g car woman.”
“No. Not with the disrespect you're showing me.” I notice the blonde man press his hands against Matteos chest. Whispering a few words in his ears. I liked testing this man's patience, he looked in my direction and all I settled with was a small smile.
"My name is Lorenzo." The blonde man says, Lorenzo then came to my side and helps me out. I pulled my hand out of his and wiped it onto my clothes as I stared at the house then back at the floor. Lorenzo seemed opposite of them all, he seemed new to the Mafia if he was already giving out their names. But if he was doing that, it indicated that I would not be leaving this area.
"You shouldn’t be alive." A broad voice from behind catches me as I slowly turn and see Francesco staring deadly at me. I decided to stay quiet and hold everything I wanted to say inside. I couldn't help but feel scrutinised. I gazed around the area. A huge fate blocked the entry. The entire place was packed with security.
Matteo walks in front of me as one of the securities opens the doors for him. The two men behind me push me on the back gently as I begin walking before them. The interior of it, wooden floors, chandeliers hanging above my head and no carpet across the floor. The stairs separate into two, the black hand rails with beautiful patterns. His house was beautiful, the interior and exterior.
As I step out of my thinking, I then start to notice men and women in suits walking around the house, clearly busy to see me. Are they working? In his house? This is confusing. Wouldn't they have some sort of warehouse?
"As you see I have a lot of people here which means they would be staying over too. So, you can sleep in my room for the time being because you have no f*****g choice." I stop him from talking as we were walking down the halls.
"It's completely fine, no need to worry and no need to f*****g ask not like you did when you kidnapped me."
“Normally, I wouldn’t let women get away with talking to me like that.” He said standing in front of me, he nods his head towards his men as they leave us alone in this hallway. I feel like my confidence dropped down to fifty percent the minute I felt him take a step forward. “But my gut tells me that I could make use for me, in many ways than one.”
My eyes widened slightly, what did he mean by that? What other way could he use me. I clearly had no idea before it shot up to me. s*x. “A mistress for one of my men.”
I would never allow my levels to stoop that low, without another thought I raised my hands as it slapped the side of his cheeks, I feel my arms being grabbed as I drop to the floor by two heavy men pulling me down. “GET OFF OF ME!” I scream loudly. I feel my chin being grabbed by a firm hand as I look into his green eyes. They say green is the strongest colour because it ignites the new season after the passing of wintry days, and in that his eyes were born strong, the green hue reminding us of sunshine and floral blooms.
“You have some nerve.” He whispers.
“You're weak, you disgust me.”
“I'm weak?” He replied.
“I would rather die than be any ones mistress, including you." I growl, the anger that rushed through my veins was unstoppable. He throws my face to the side as he stands back up onto his feet. He was shocked, I saw it in his eyes. He felt shocked to the fact that I would ever lay a hand on him. I shouldn't have provoked him but he started it, my hand just decided to join in. I notice him rubbing on the side I slapped him on.
"Sir, this is enough. She needs to be dealt with properly." Matteo looked shocked to the fact one of his men just answered him back.
"And hows that?"
"You should shoot her, she is a witness and she laid hands on you!" He grabbed the gun from the side of his pocket before aiming it in the same direction of me. I shook my head as I scrambled backwards. Matteo released the trigger and my eyes closed as I held onto my head. Waiting for the bullet to hit me, I feel blood on the back of my neck. I gasped when a loud noise echoes the entire hallway, he just...he just killed a man in front of me. Again. I hear a body fall to the ground as Matteo carelessly shoved the gun back into the straps. He grabs a hold of my arm and drag my towards the stairs. This time I didn't say a word, I didn't complain.
"Clean the mess, It's going to stain my floor." He shouts.
"You didn't kill me." I whisper in surprise.
"You're innocent, I don't kill innocent people." He answers without doubt.