Bride of Convenience

Chapter 21

“Oh, Julia there is so much more that I like about you other than just your eyes. I’ll be looking forward to exploring every part of you on our wedding night. Is that something you are looking forward too?” He had to ask her, all this talk was making him quite hot for her, and he wanted to know how she was feeling about it. She seemed to blush slightly.

“I, um, don’t” she was stammering. Was she scared that Harrison would hurt her? Was she scared that he would be forceful? He decided right then that he wouldn’t do anything if she didn’t want to but he would use all this strength and charm to make her want him so bad. “I guess I’m a little nervous. I think I’ve said it before that the times with Adrian were awkward and no exactly mind-blowing.” The wine was making her feel comfortable and less guarded. He liked it when she opened up to him. “I guess I’m worried I won’t be any good, that you will regret your decision.” He couldn’t believe how that jerk Adrian had taken her and not made it enjoyable. How could anyone be given the gift of her beautiful body and not treat it like a temple? He would, he would treat her like a princess and savour every second they were in bed together and please her so she would know what it was like to feel passion.

“Julia, on the night if you change your mind I will not pressure you in any way. If we go to bed together, it will be because you want to. I will not force you.” He wanted to put her mind at ease.

“But the contract states” She began, and he cut her off.

“Although it would not make the contract legally binding no one but me and you would know. I understand that we signed the contract together and agreed that it would take place but I am not some bully I won't force you to do it. I will still consider the contract fore filled.” He said and lightly touched her cheek because she had dropped her face down. When she looked up, he was shattered her face seemed so crushed, what had he done he thought she would be relieved, but it appeared he hurt her.

“Julia? What’s wrong?”

“You don’t want me? I mean you don’t want to have me anymore?” Her voice was barely a whisper. She thought he was rejecting her, how could he have been so insensitive. “I understand, I mean your past girlfriends have all been models, and I’m sure their bodies were to die for. It’s ok, I understand you just don’t find me attractive?” He was glad they were sitting down because that would have knocked him to the ground if he wasn’t.

“Julia, no! I mean, of course, I find you attractive. Including your body, I much prefer you to those models I’ve dated. I’m not rejecting you. I just wanted it to be your choice. Julia, you stir things inside of me that I haven’t felt before, I don’t just find you attractive, I find you to be someone I can sit and talk to and say anything. I’ve never been able to do that before. You are attractive to me is so many ways. I just wanted to let you know that if you did change your mind, I wouldn’t cancel the contract or anything. I actually was trying to put you at ease, I see I have severely failed. Sorry.” He was wounded that his gift to her was totally ruined because of how he had offered it. He wanted to make it up to her, she was looking at him with sad eyes, so he reached for her and brushed his hand down her arms. He reached for her and held her tight. He put those protective, strong arms around her and hoped it did everything she said it would do. The smell of her hair was invading his nostrils he smelt fruity smells, like a fruit salad. He inhaled deeply and then placed a kiss on the top of her head. She seemed to blend into his body really well. They just fit. He wondered if they would still see each other once they had divorced. Then he realised they couldn’t, they wouldn’t be able to date, to touch, to kiss. He would have to give her up, all of her. The way she made him feel, the way they chatted even their dinner makings. He wasn’t sure he liked that, Harrison didn’t think he would be ready for it when the time came. He was beginning to like having Julia around. Harrison had this overwhelming feeling to protect her against all the bad stuff that had happened in her life. Julia shifted slightly on him, and he wished she hadn’t because now his body was reacting in a very manly way toward her being so close to him. He hoped she couldn’t feel his erection against her. She would probably think of him as an animal, having s****l feelings when he was meant to be comforting her. She looked up at him and gave a small, frail smile.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ruin our night. I just worry I’ve never been anyone that stood out amongst the crowd so when you said that I tend to think the worse, no one has ever given me a reason not too.” How could she possibly think she was ruining the night? He felt pleased and comfortable with her right now.

“I would never reject you, Julia. I would never intentionally hurt you either.” He tried to reassure her. He wasn’t sure she believed him though.

“I guess it’s time I left.” She pulled away from him to get up, and suddenly he felt cold and alone, and it wasn’t just from her body heat.

“Sure, I will organise the car for you.” Then way too soon she was headed home in the limo. He watched as she left. He didn’t like the feelings running through his body right now. He didn’t like the way he felt empty because she had left. What was going on with him? He shook his head and went inside, took a cold shower, which did not help him relieve his wanting for her and went to bed. Sleep did not come easy and when it did his dreams were filled with the brown head beauty and what he wanted to do with her.