Let Love Happen

Chapter 4 - soulmate

"Running for 'Employee of the Year', Ms. Lazaro?" I heard someone ask from behind me.

I didn't need to turn around from my computer to know who that was.

"Everybody has left. Wala ka bang balak umuwi?" Tristan asked again but I still refused to speak.

Marami na ang naka-leave for the Halloween early this week pa. Kahit si Megan ay nagpaalam na uuwi ng probinsya kaya the other day pa siyang wala. Hindi na rin ako nagtaka nang iilang empleyado na lang ang dinatnan ko sa opisina nang pumasok ako kaninang umaga.

"It's almost nine in the evening, baka di mo napapansin," he reminded.

I so wanted to ignore him pero minsan hindi ko rin talaga mapigilang hindi mambara.

"Tell me something I don't already know, Mr. Lorenzo. I have a wristwatch, I have a clock on my desktop and on the wall. I know what time it is."

He let out a chuckle when I said that, and I immediately regret kung bakit ko ba pinatulan ang pangungulit niya in the first place.

"Speaking of something you don't know, I bet marami ka pang hindi alam na kwento tungkol sa opisinang ito," he stated, clearly trying to intrigue me.

I slowly turned around just to roll my eyes at him. He was towering over my cubicle partition and was wriggling his eyebrows at me.

"I'm busy, Mr. Lorenzo. If you have nothing else to do, ikaw ang umuwi at pabayaan mo ako rito," I told him and went back to work. Ilang araw ring walang pasok, I need to get this report done dahil month-end na.

I was waiting to hear him walk away but as usual, he chose to linger.

"I hope you're aware na ikaw na lang ang maiiwan dito kapag umalis ako. Wala nang ibang tao sa floor na ito," he warned while I have my back on him.

I heaved a sigh of frustration.

"I don't mind being alone. I'm used to it," I snapped.

"Who said you'll be alone?" he now asked in a creepy voice.

"Kasasabi mo lang, hindi ba?"

"Sabi ko wala nang ibang tao. Pero yung ibang elemento, meron," paglilinaw niya.

"May guard sa labas, huwag mo akong lokohin," katwiran ko.

"Anong magagawa ng guard na nasa labas kung nandito ka sa loob at napapaligiran ng mga hindi mo nakikita?"

Hindi ako nakaimik sa sinabi niyang iyon.

"I know you're very fond of stories about soulmates. Pero iba yung nandito, believe me. There are souls here, literally. Lost souls," he added.

I finally turned to face him with a frown.

"Very funny," I faked a laugh.

"I'm not kidding, Ms. Lazaro."

This time, tinaasan ko na siya ng kilay.

"I'm not eight years old. Go find someone else you can scare," pagtataboy ko na may hand gestures pa.

But I also know na hindi siya ganoon kadaling paalisin.

"Alam mo yung CR kung saan ka nakulong, maraming kwento ng kababalaghan doon kaya nagtataka ako kung paano ka nakalabas agad. Pati doon sa cubicle namin sa Purchasing, may mag-ina na nagpaparamdam doon. May batang naglalaro at minsan maririnig mo pa ang tawa niya."

Hindi ako likas na matatakutin. I'm actually the bravest girl I know. Di hamak na mas matapang ako kay Ate Andrea na hindi na makapag-isa sa CR kapag nakapanood ng horror movie. Hindi rin problema sa akin kahit wala akong kasama sa bahay, nakakadalaw pa nga ako kay Mama kahit mag-isa lang ako sa sementeryo.

Pero kapag ganitong panahon ng Halloween, medyo ibang usapan na iyon.

Kaya nga may dala akong malaking bag dahil kay Auntie Mina muna ako uuwi ngayon, tutal hindi pa kami nagkikita simula nang dumating ako. Sayang naman ang pagmamagandang loob ko na tulungan siya sa flower shop niya kung aaminin ko na naduduwag lang ako kaya sinadya kong i-timing sa Halloween ang pagdalaw sa kanya.

"At alam mo ba iyong printer diyan sa Marketing, madalas umaandar kahit walang nagpiprint," Tristan started again as he took a seat in front of me.

I was tempted to grab my bags and leave ahead of him pero mas matapang ang pride ko, so I rested my elbows on the table and listened to him, pretending to be fearless as he went on.

"Hanggang ten ng gabi lang rin pwede gamitin ang elevator. Sabi nila naging ganoon raw ang policy dahil na-observe nila dati na maraming nakukulong sa elevator after ten. Wala naman makitang malfunction ang mga technician and the next day, it's good as new. Iyong ibang may third eye dito sa company, sabi may sumasabay daw when you ride the elevator alone. Makikita mo raw na hindi ka mag-isa kapag tiningnan mo ang anino mo."

"Then I'll take the stairs," singit ko.

With that, he leaned on the backrest of the chair and let out an evil smile.

"You can do that, if you don't mind hearing a crying lady as you walk down the stairs."

Napalunok ako. Sigurado namang niloloko lang ako ng g*gong ito pero kinikilabutan pa rin ako.

"So, this is your last chance. Are you going with me or not?" he offered with raised eyebrows.

I thought hard as he stood up from the chair. I can just save the files on my USB and finish the report this weekend. Anyway, na-download ko na rin naman ang mga reference na kailangan ko.

He probably sensed that I was so close to accepting defeat and he gave me a little smile.

"I promise I won't let anyone hurt you," he told me.

And when I heard that, I finally made up my mind.

"No. I'm staying," I said stubbornly.

Ilang beses ko na bang narinig iyon sa kanya noon pero in the end, sinaktan rin niya ako. Why would I believe him this time? Baka nga mas takutin pa niya ako kapag sumabay ako palabas sa kanya.

"Sure ka? Ikaw rin, kapag ganitong nalalapit na ang All Soul's Day, mas maraming gumagalang kaluluwa. They could be everywhere. One could be beside you, another in front of you and a couple more behind you."

Tumindig ang balahibo ko sa sinabi niya kaya mabilis ko siyang tinalikuran.

"Lumayas ka na, hindi ako natatakot," I lied bago kinapa ang rosary sa bulsa ko.

He got up to leave pero hindi pa rin tumigil ang bibig niya.

"Dare to take the stairs, okay?" he advised as he began to walk away.

The next time he spoke, I figured he was already at the door.

"Happy All Souls' Day!" he hollered on the empty hall.

"Shut up!" I couldn't help yelling back before I finally heard the glass door close.

I tried to concentrate when he left. The eerie silence was deafening so I plugged the speakers and turned the music on. Wala akong lakas ng loob na pumunta sa pantry para magtimpla ng kape so I just tried to sing along even with shaking voice to calm my nerves. Patay na kasi ang ilaw sa ibang department at iyong nasa main hall na lang ang iniwang bukas. Bigla ko tuloy pinagsisihan kung bakit pinanood ko lahat nang horror movies na nakita ko lately sa TV.

"Malapit na, konti na lang," I tried to cheer myself up as I checked the time. Nine twenty-three.

"Yes!" I muttered triumphantly at nine thirty-five. I have just enough time to print the report I recently finished at aabutan ko pa ang elevator.

I was finally done printing at exactly nine forty-five. I have fifteen minutes left so I hurriedly stood up to collate the hard copies of my report when I heard something from afar.

"It can't be," I said to myself as my eyes widened.

Just as our printer stopped, another printer started to print from the left side of the office. If I'm not mistaken, printer nga sa Marketing office iyon gaya ng sabi ni Tristan.

Without wasting any minute, I got back to my table and pulled the plug of my computer. Who cares about shutting down your computer properly? Emergency case na ito. In a split second, nakuha ko na rin ang shoulder bag ko at malaking backpack bago patakbong lumabas ng office. Ayokong hintayin na iyong mag-inang multo pa ang magpakita sa akin bago ako umalis.

I was nearly out of breath when I closed the door.

"Abot ka pa sa last trip ng elevator, Ma'am," the fifth floor guard informed me with a smile.

Oh God, hindi rin nagbibiro si Tristan sa ten o'clock curfew ng elevator!

Tinanguan ko ang guard bago nagpasalamat at nagmamadaling sumakay sa elevator. I kept my eyes closed during the whole ride on the lift sa takot na may makita akong katabi ng anino ko.

I only took the courage to open my eyes when I heard the sound signalling that I have reached my destination. I stepped as close to the door as possible, ready to hop out and hopeful to see the bright lobby as I waited. But when it finally opened, I found myself facing a dimly lit basement parking instead. I must have pressed the wrong button dahil sa pagmamadali ko kanina!

Another round of panic crept over me as I used all my strength to press number one on the elevator panel. I made sure that it lit before furiously pressing on the button that closes the elevator door.

It seemed to take forever to shut, and I veered my eyes away, not wanting to see the dark corners of the basement. But before the door closed, a black hand suddenly sneaked in and grabbed me by the arm.

"Tulong!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I violently shook the hand off me, but it was too strong, it pulled me without exerting much effort.

"Bitiwan mo ako! Help! Tulong! Kuya Guard!" I shouted again, making my throat hurt.

The figure was all black and I kicked it repeatedly. I dropped my backpack as I struggled to get away from its grasp. But once I was out of the elevator, it suddenly let go of me.

At that point, that dark figure put its hands on its large head, as if it was going to take its mask off and reveal himself. Thousands of gruesome images flashed on my mind as I cracked my knuckles with trembling hands.

I wanted to run but my knees were wobbling, I know I won't make it that far. Feeling exhausted and defeated, I slumped on the ground and hugged my knees before closing my eyes. Then I started praying.

I was done praying Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and the Apostle's Creed but nothing happened. Naibilin ko na rin sina Ate Andrea at Auntie Mina kay Lord but still, nothing happened. No stab on my chest. No axe on my back. And nobody chopped my head off.

From my pitiful position, I took a deep breath and peeked very slowly, cracking just one eye open.

"Watching too much horror films lately, aren't you?" my supposed to be killer asked.

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako na hindi zombie ang nakita ko o mas gugustuhin kong mamatay sa hiya nang makita ko si Tristan. He was standing in front on me with arms across against his chest, looking totally amused with my hysterical act.

On impluse, I took my shoulder bag and threw it at him.

"Tarant*do ka! Papatayin mo ba ako sa takot?"

The sound of his laughter echoed on the almost empty basement parking lot. He stepped into the light and I felt even more stupid when I realized that the dark figure which frightened me turned out to be a guy with black jacket, dark pants and motorcycle gloves. The helmet he's now holding is what made his head look rather big earlier.

"Akala ko ba matapang ka?" he dared, obviously making fun of me. Parang gusto ko tuloy alisin pati sapatos ko at ibato sa kanya.

"Isusumbong kita sa Ate ko!" I shouted, not caring if I sounded like the eight-year-old kid I claimed not to be.

"Hindi naman kita balak takutin, hinihintay lang kitang lumabas ng elevator pero mukhang wala kang balak lumabas. Iyong driver kasi ng shuttle hindi makaalis eh malayo pa ang uuwian niyang probinsiya. Ikaw na lang ang hinihintay kaya pinauwi ko na, sabi ko isasabay na lang kita palabas ng Business Park. Andun ang motor ko, halika na."

He offered a hand to pull me up, but I swatted it angrily and stood by myself. He shrugged his shoulders and took my backpack from the ground instead bago lumakad palayo para kunin ang motor niya.

"Hop in," he said when he stopped beside me.

"Ikuha mo na lang ako ng taxi," I argued.

"I can do that. Pero maghihintay ka rito ng matagal dahil hindi ganoon kadaling kumuha ng taxi sa labasan. It's Friday at siguradong uwian dahil Undas na," he reminded.

I looked around the barely lit parking lot and swallowed hard.

"Isa pa, mas marami akong alam na kwento ng kababalaghan na nangyari rito. Pwede kong i-share sa iyo bago ako umalis so you can keep your mind busy," he added.

I may be stubborn pero this time nilunok ko na ang pride ko at lumapit sa kanya. Nag-aalangan ako pero dahan dahan rin akong patagilid na umupo sa likuran niya.

"Saan ang apartment mo, ihahatid na kita," anito bago pinaandar ang motor.

"Sa kanto lang ako. Kay Auntie Mina ako uuwi," I said while gripping the leather seat, avoiding any physical contact in the process. Noon lang ako nakasakay ng motor at pakiramdam ko ay titilapon ako sa tuwing lumiliko siya.

"Nababawasan rin pala ang tapang mo tuwing Halloween ano? Ayaw mag-isa? Taga saan ba ang Auntie mo?"

I ignored the mocking laugh and reminded myself that this time, he is in control.

"Silang, Cavite," I simply replied instead.

"Hindi ka uuwi ng Batangas? Hindi ka dadalaw sa libingan ni Mama?"

I noticed the way he called my mother Mama but chose to let it pass. Iyon naman talaga ang tawag niya kay Mama simula nang bata pa kami at iyon rin ang tawag ko sa Mama niya. Kahit hindi na kami close, hindi ko pwedeng ipagdamot iyon sa kanya.

"Tutulungan ko muna si Auntie Mina sa flower shop niya sa Tagaytay this weekend. Sa All Soul’s Day kami dadalaw kay Mama. Wala naman na kaming tutuluyan sa Batangas hindi ba? Libingan na lang ni Mama ang pwede kong balikan doon, wala nang iba."

He surprisingly fell silent when I said that. What happened to our house in Talisay, Batangas is no secret to him, nor to everyone in our barrio.

"Dito na lang ako sa kanto," I softly said when we reached the entrance of Alabang Business Park.

"Siguradong traffic. Gusto mong ihatid kita?"

I shook my head hindi lang dahil mukhang hindi ko kayang nakasakay ng ganito hanggang Cavite kundi dahil hindi ako sanay na nagmamabait siya.

"No, thank you," I said as I got off his motorcycle.

He nodded but somehow looked disappointed.

"Sasamahan na lang kitang maghintay ng sasakyan," he offered.

He parked his motorcycle on the side of the road and stood beside me.

"Actually, you can go," I told him as I stepped away from him and closer to the road. Halos puno lahat na dumaraang sasakyan pero willing akong makipagsiksikan just to end this awkward moment.

"Baka tabihan ka ng mga ligaw na kaluluwa," he threatened.

I turned to frown at him.

"Okay na ako, hindi na ako natatakot."

"You really believe that lost souls could be roaming around?" sunod na tanong niya.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Maybe."

His expression turned somewhat serious as he inched closer again and looked straight into my eyes.

"What about soulmates? You still believe in them?" he asked in almost a whisper.

He wasn't kidding when he said earlier that I'm very fond of soulmate stories. The idea of being born for the purpose of finding that someone who is meant for you fascinates me. Or at least it did. Several years ago.

"Not anymore," I answered.

It may be just my imagination, but I think I saw his shoulder slump before I looked away. But that's the truth, I no longer believe.

"Kapag ba ang soulmates nagkahiwalay at nagkalayo, ibig sabihin hindi na sila soulmates?" he asked again.

I know where this conversation is leading to. Noong High School kami, we were convinced that we're soulmates. For years I believed na pinagtagpo talaga kami ng tadhana para maging magkaibigan. But everything changed during that one fateful night when he gave me the biggest disappointment of my life.

I can't look at him and not feel the pain. I can't stand near him without feeling hurt. Iyong mga sinasabi niya ngayon, those are the things that I'd rather forget. The night itself was scary. But it's more frightening to go down the memory lane.

"Most probably," I finally responded.

"Pero-"

I waved my hand to cut him off at para na rin patigilin ang jeepney na papalapit.

"I need to go. Salamat," I told him bago nagmadaling sumakay.

All throughout the ride ay pinilit kong alisin ang mga tanong ni Tristan sa isip ko. It took me several hours bago nakarating sa Silang, Cavite and the travel somehow eased my mind. May mga naiba na sa lugar pero nang makita ko si Auntie Mina na naka-abang sa labas ng bahay, napatakbo ako.

Sinalubong niya ako ng yakap. Hindi ako iyakin pero this time hindi ko napigilang maluha. It was the warm embrace I was hoping for when I went home and finally naramdaman ko iyon dahil kay Auntie Mina.

Nasa mid-fifties na siya. Malaki ang resemblance niya kay Mama and her smile has always reminded me of my mother's noong okay pa siya. During the last years of Mama's life kasi, simula nang umalis si Papa sa bahay, halos hindi na siya ngumingiti.

"Na-miss kita, Yana!" she exclaimed. Even the way she said my name felt welcoming.

Tinulungan niya akong magbuhat ng bag papasok ng bahay. May hain sa mesa at dalawang pinggan. Noon ko lang naisip na hinintay pa talaga niya ako para makasabay sa hapunan.

Marami kaming pinag-usapan habang kumakain. Buhay namin ni Ate Andrea sa Dubai, ang buhay ko ngayon sa Maynila, ang bago kong trabaho, pati ang tungkol kay Tristan.

"Siya ba iyong dati mong kaibigan na naging kumpetensya mo noong College?"

"Opo," I confirmed habang umiirap.

Bahagya siyang napatawa.

"Masyadong maliit ang mundo para sa inyong dalawa, ano? Palagi kayong pinagsasama ng tadhana. Parang gusto ko na tuloy maniwala na tama ang Ate at Mama mo."

"Na ano po?" tanong ko.

Auntie Mina paused for a while and let out a knowing smile.

"Na soulmates kayo," she finished.

Napatayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo ko sa mesa at biglang nakaisip na magligpit ng kinainan namin.

"Hindi totoo ang soulmates na 'yan, Auntie. Tingnan mo na lang ang nangyari kay Mama," I contradicted.

Si Mama kasi ang unang nagpasok sa isip ko ng idea of soulmate na yan. All her life, she believed na si Papa ang soulmate niya. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses niyang ikinuwento sa aming magkapatid at kay Tristan ang love story nila. But look where her belief led her. Nang ipagpalit siya ni Papa sa ibang babae, he took not just her heart with him. He took away her soul.

Nawalan ng ganang mabuhay si Mama. Apparently, hindi naging sapat ang pagmamahal namin ni Ate sa kanya. She was devastated and she resorted to depression. We took her to a Psychiatrist pero walang naging silbi iyon dahil ayaw niyang lumaban, dahil nang iwan siya ni Papa, nag-give up na rin siya sa buhay niya.

Kaya hanggang ngayon, galit na galit pa rin ako kay Papa. Ilang beses ba akong nagmakaawa na balikan niya si Mama pero hindi niya ako pinakinggan? Kaya nang nagpakita siya sa burol ni Mama, hindi ko napigilang sumbatan siya. At kahit nag-alok siya na kupkupin kami sa bahay nila ng bago niyang kinakasama, sinabi ko kay Ate na hindi ko kaya. I'd rather be an orphan than live with Papa.

So tell me, iyon ba ang soulmate? If my soulmate will drag me to one hell of a heartbreak when he leaves, di bale na lang. I'd rather let my soul live alone than risk losing it when it should be my own.

"May kanya-kanya tayong kapalaran, Yana. Unang-una, mas matapang ka kesa sa Mama mo. Kung nagkaganoon man siya, hindi ibig sabihin noon ay ganoon rin ang mangyayari sa iyo. Pero sana matuto kang magpatawad. At maniwala ka na may totoong pag-ibig na panghabangbuhay."

I heaved a sigh and hugged Auntie Mina. Coming from her na mas piniling maging isang matandang dalaga, that's very ironic. God knows I want to believe her. Pero hanggang ngayon, wala akong makitang reason kung bakit dapat akong maniwala.

"In time, Auntie. Maybe in time," I just said to dismiss the topic before we said goodnight.

Mabilis ako gumawa ng tulog but that night I can't sleep. Bakit nga ba ako nagpadala sa pananakot ni Tristan sa office kanina tungkol sa mga ligaw na kaluluwa when I'm a lost soul, myself? Bakit ba ako kinilabutan sa mga kwento niya ng kababalaghan when in fact, mas maraming horror stories ang buhay ko?

That's why I called my sister. And once again, I read one Love Mail from God.

Dear Yana,

Sometimes, I allow circumstances to come your way. You may go through hardships, poverty, and brokenness. You may lose relationships, even loved ones. But when you're down, don't hesitate to look at me. My grace is sufficient for your weakness and I will see you through.

Your Ultimate Best Friend,

God

P.S. While you're on earth, you'll always have burdens. But remember that there are more blessings than burdens in your life. Just look around you with an open heart.

And that's the only time I felt at peace and fell asleep.