Thirty one

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JAYDEN “Fvck Jayden!!! This isn't how we wanted to play it cool or apologize to him," I said to myself, “Fvck!!!” I yelled out as I kicked hard on the ground. I had just made a fool of myself and worsened the situation between us; I wanted to play it cool and make sure he enjoyed our vacation together, but instead I ended up screwing everything up, making him hate me. I should have just kept still and silent and not say anything to him… and what was the kiss on his neck all about? I asked myself like I wasn't the one who had done it. Dumb!! Dumb move I just made there; it felt like I had no will of my own and that I was being controlled by an invisible force. Is this rut having an effect on me? Was this what Thane meant when he said I should be careful and try not to be alone with him

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