When War Meets Love

Spider Senses

I have never understood the whole hype regarding high school. Why is it such a big deal? I fear that I am the only sane one that considers it to be merely a place for your education and a chance to enter prestigious colleges. But everyone else has a different opinion.

Ask any student here, besides me obviously, what their favorite high school moments were, and they will say things along the line of, ‘It was a chance for me to finally get out of my comfort zone’ or ‘I learned the things you don’t get to learn from books’ or ‘Oh my god, I lost my V-card to the love of my life ' or they simply state another pathetic sentimental line you hear hormonal teenagers come up with.

Maybe I am just wiser for my age, or maybe I am just bitter because these things never happen to me. It is my last year in this awful place and I am yet to recall one exciting moment that was meaningful to me, other than being praised by other teachers for being the greatest nerd this school has ever seen. 

Not that I don’t like being recognized for my brains; trust me I love being a straight-A student as it is the only thing I can take pride in. Yet in this teenage world of ridiculous standards, it’s not as important as being the popular student or having some sort of mind-blowing talent, or just being plain ‘cool’.

And to further prove my point, as soon as Julian and I entered the school doors of Lofgren High, my dear friend Julian was greeted with loud cheers coming at him from left and right, while I was almost invisible. If anyone did notice me, I would get glances that made me feel like I was a lost dog, standing next to him awkwardly. 

I looked down at the ground, a bit embarrassed, and took three long strides to the right, giving some space for Julian’s fandom to roam around him freely. It didn't take long for him to be engulfed in their social bubble and then float away to the end of the hallway. I sighed and trudged, alone, through the crowd of bodies to get to my locker.

Arranging my books for the next class, a sharp tap on my shoulder made me jump. Knowing exactly who that sharp nail belonged to, I plastered a fake grin on my face and spun towards her in what I hope looked like a welcoming smile. “Hey Selma, I missed you this morning," I lied, "Did you find that sponge you were looking for?”

I hate lying straight to peoples’ faces, but I couldn't tell her that I was truly relieved to finally be able to catch a small break from her sight. Not that she is ugly in any way; quite the contrary. Her tan, lean figure was complimented with a curtain of brown hair that resembled a bar of dark chocolate and she had big brown eyes shaped like almonds. Add in a pair of dimples, pearly whites, and soft freckles on the nose, and there you have her, the school's most popular girl and hottest cheerleader.

I know, how cliché it is for the cheerleader and captain to get together, but high school is moronic like that.

Her red-painted lips curled in a sickly-sweet smile. “Missed you too, sweetie. And yes, I found it hidden underneath all those eyeshadow pallets, ugh I have to get myself a bigger vanity to store my makeup..." I forced myself not to roll my eyes at her as she went on and on talking about her valuable concealers, and primers, whatever those were. "...Anyways, I noticed you arrived a little late, considering I still made it before you guys. What was the hold-up?" she arched her eyebrows accusingly, and a billion ideas of how to piss her off ran through my mind. But I kept them to myself.

"Oh, we went to grab a bite at Day and Night. The waffles there are to die for, I wish you were with us," I smiled innocently.

Tongue in her cheek, Selma smirked. "Hmph. I don't eat waffles anymore. Don't you know? It has way too many carbs and calories, I get special ones made with almond flour and stevia. Those are much healthier." 

I nodded, smiling. I knew she would find a way to flaunt her money somehow. Both her parents work at the bank and I know just how loaded they are. "Of course, Selma, you need to watch what you eat. Wouldn't wanna get kicked out of the cheerleading team, now would ya?" I have no idea where all that courage came from today. I have never spoken to her like this before, let alone come up with an insulting comeback. 

I caught a glimpse of a scowl on her face, but she quickly wiped it off and drew another smile. "Audelia, where is my boyfriend?” 

Ah, good, she finally cut to the chase. I answered dramatically, “his cult requested they be met with their leader. They were dysfunctional without his mighty wisdom and guidance. They took him and marched on that way,” I replied, pointing in the direction of their departure. I almost wanted to point in the opposite direction just to get her frustrated, but I refrained from doing that. I shouldn't stoop to that level, even if she might deserve it.

She nodded, unamused by my elite sarcasm, and turned on her heels, swaying her hips seductively as if the school corridor was her personal catwalk. I hate her guts but tolerate her for Julian’s sake. I don’t want to upset him, knowing that his best friend and girlfriend don’t get along.

The bell rang, indicating that it was time for students to quit their unnecessary yammering and drag their tired feet to class. As for me, I was already stepping inside the class and claiming my favorite seat – the one directly at the front.

Now you may roll your eyes and say ‘Of course the nerd sits at the front so she can take better notes.’  Well no, I mean yes, that is quite true, but that’s not the only reason why I sit there. You see, it is in my nature to avoid humans – except Julian obviously – like the plague. And the humans of this school happen to steer clear of the front seats and actually fight over the ones in the back so they could text, sleep, and eat in peace, away from the vision of teachers. 

So you do the math here. The percentage of me being less exposed to human interaction is satisfactorily high when I sit in the front.

I wriggled into my seat and my muscles instantly relaxed. I placed my books neatly in front of me and started writing some questions on a sticky note that I plan to ask the math teacher, Mr. Reeges. Something didn’t add up when he explained the derivatives last week and the homework he assigned didn’t cover it. As I was scribbling them down, students started to swarm inside the class, group after group.

To my dismay, when a bunch of leather-wearing boys passed by my row, I heard them snicker obnoxiously as they sat down somewhere in the back of the class. "Look at this loser", one of them mocked, and his friend replied with "what a nerd", and then the third one kindly added, "bet she was home all weekend eating pencils."

Ouch. Like can’t they come up with better lines to insult me with? I mean if I have to be offended, at least by smarter comments, please. 'Eating pencils'? Seriously? I wasn't hurt by what they said, but by what they thought would hurt me if they had said it to me.

I shook my head at them and sighed in frustration. In times like this, I wish I had fainter senses. A random fun fact about me is that I can hear, smell, and taste ten times better than anyone else, or at least that's what I have concluded from my experience in life so far. Like I'm sure anyone else sitting at my seat wouldn't have been able to hear what those idiots in the back said from all the way here.

However, I believe my senses are this strong due to the simple fact that I have trained myself from a young age to be on high alert at all times, so I could protect grandma from harming herself. You can never be too careful around an elder who can’t think clearly. I have to always listen to grandma if she fell or called my name for help.

Julian once teased me about my special ability, saying I’m like a female version of Spiderman because I have what he likes to call ‘spider senses’. Although my strong senses do come in handy, there are things I wish I had never heard, seen, or even smelled. I shuddered thinking of one traumatizing memory I had stored for the last one. Some odors should be illegal...

Thankfully, Mr. Reeges came in time to stop me from taking an unnecessary trip down memory lane.

“Good morning good students. Hope every one of you is doing well today”, he greeted, which was met by several shrugs and eye-rolls. “Before we begin today’s class, I wanted to inform you all that next week we will have a new student transferred to our school. He is foreign and I am told doesn’t speak English very well.”

This immediately caught everyone’s attention as well as my own. It’s a small town that we live in and everyone knows each other so it felt exciting to meet someone new, or as some would say around here; some ‘fresh meat.’

Mr. Reeges continued, “The reason I am informing you all a week prior is that we need a student to catch him up with his studies and show him around the school." You can sense that half of the students' excitement was vacuumed. "He or she will be assisting him at all times, and in return, will get extra credits and receive special support in writing their college essay.”

My eyebrows shot up, the last idea appealed to me. It sounded like a perfect deal and would get anyone interested enough to help him. I'm sure a number of students will jump at the opportunity - well surely except me, I wouldn’t dare to do it. I couldn’t possibly. I get nervous around people in general, how about strangers? Plus, how would I know how this person would treat me? Will he be nice to me or be a male version of Selma? I can't handle another one of her in my life. 

If I'm anxious around people I already know, how would you imagine I will be around a foreign student? No thank you.

The rest of the class wasn’t as enthusiastic as Mr. Reeges and I thought they would be. 

Only a handful nodded their heads while the rest threw out random comments, like ‘why should I even bother?’ or ‘I could care less,' or ‘I wonder if he’s hot’; and this last one made me smile, ‘Ooh, I hope he’s gay.' 

I, on the other hand, buried my head behind my books to hide from Mr. Reeges' wandering eyes, who was now searching everyone's faces to find a possible volunteer. 

DID I HAVE TO SIT UP FRONT? Curse you, Audelia, you intelligent buffoon.

“Alright, settle down, please. Whoever is interested can talk to me or Mrs. Guana later. Now; let’s pick up from where we left off last week. Let's start by solving the questions I assigned for today, I believe they were on page 76, and I stopped at number three.... ”

I blew out a breath of relief and started to flip my book open to the assigned chapter when I felt Mr. Reeges’ eyes land on me. Looking up slowly from my book, I met his eyes as he leaned down and whispered, “Miss Warrick, I would like to speak with you after class.”

Upon hearing him utter those dreadful words, the color drained from my face leaving me as white as a ghost. My throat suddenly went so dry, I couldn’t move my tongue. Certain that I had lost the ability to use my vocal cords, I meekly nodded and cracked a smile. He was satisfied with that response and continued his lesson as normal.

I, on the other hand, was panicking. I knew what he wanted to tell me and I knew what he expected me to say in return. But can I say what he wants me to say? I mean, can I handle being the acquaintance of a total stranger for weeks? Can I handle actually talking to him and being in close proximity? And for a long period of time?

I think I’m going to faint. No, I can’t faint, that’s too embarrassing. Wait till class is over Audelia, go to the bathroom, then faint there. Wait, what am I even thinking? Do you know how many germs inhabit the bathroom floor, Audelia? Okay, why am I concerned about germs at this moment? Focus on what to panic first! When will I stop, I probably look like a freak right now, oh God kill me please -

“Audelia? Are you alright?” Mr. Reeges asked with genuine concern on his face. Oh, poor guy doesn’t know how mentally unstable I am right now. I think my grandma's illness is starting to rub off on me. I blinked these idiotic thoughts away and remembered to respond. Stop being weird, Audelia. “I- I um, yeah, I’m alright. I just have a headache is all,” I managed to croak. 

“You can visit the nurse if you’re feeling unwell.” Huh, maybe I do look like I’m about to faint. But not wanting to stand up right now and get dizzy by the stares of everyone, I waved it off. “I am feeling fine, thank you.”

Pull yourself together Audelia. Remember how strong you were this morning when you were talking to Selma? Revive that strength. I focused on that, and returned my breathing to normal, after being on the verge of hyperventilation. 

To my dismay, the rest of the class went by fast, not that I was paying much attention anyway. When the bell rang I was silently wishing that he forgot about speaking with me, and I stood up to escape class before he remembered- but I am not a lucky girl.

“Miss Warrick? A word?” I cursed on the inside and halted my steps.

“Yes Mr. Reeges, of course.” He gestured for me to take a seat, then we both waited for all of the students to exit the class before he began.

“Miss Warrick, you are one of the brightest students we have in this school. And seeing how you did not enroll in any of the extracurricular activities; which I acknowledge is due to a private family issue, I believe that you could benefit from this new opportunity. I truly think you could improve your social skills and it would look great on your college application. You are looking for a scholarship and I want to help you get it because you truly deserve it. All it takes is a little push out of your comfort zone.” He had his hands intertwined on his lap, his feet crossed, leaning slightly forward to talk to me. His voice held concern and support, the kind of voice you knew deep down that you could trust.

I felt embarrassed after hearing his speech and had my gaze stuck on the brown little spot on the floor. How can I let him down now, after what he said? I’m a sucker for teachers who show genuine care to their students. It makes me feel like I have someone close to a parent, supporting me and giving me suggestions. I was hesitating about whether to accept it or not and it was evident on my face. 

“Audelia,” I glanced up at his smiling face, “I will give you time to think about it until Thursday. Friday will be the day we choose the student.” He nodded, signaling he’s done talking and I can go to my next class. I smiled gratefully at him. “I’ll think about it,” I promised. I at least owed him that.

And I kept my promise. I thought about it throughout all of my classes – which I know I will regret later - and I even thought about it during lunch. Not that I had another choice anyway, I sat by myself all through lunch. 

Julian always invites me to sit with his group at their table, but the only girls who sit there are either cheerleaders or the guys’ girlfriends and most of them are both. I don't get along with any of them and they certainly won't enjoy my presence, no matter how much they try to be nice to me out of respect for Julian. So I choose to save everyone the trouble and just sit at a table alone, near the cafeteria doors.

I didn’t mind it really, as this gave me time to eat all of my lunch and check up on grandma as well. Which reminds me, I haven't spoken to her yet. I picked up my phone and dialed her. I had used my summer earnings two years back to buy us both phones. They weren't the fancy kinds, but ones that work well enough to keep track of each other.

On the last ring, she answered, “Yes?” I beamed. Her voice always helps me feel better, making my heart flutter. “Hey grandma, how are you?” I heard her shuffle a bit in the background. I wonder what she's doing.

“I am fine, thank you. Hey, are you coming to fix the toilet? It doesn’t gather enough water, and I can't lift the lid.” I covered the phone so she didn’t hear me giggle. This was not unusual for her. It was hard enough for her to recognize me when I was physically with her, let alone on a cellphone. I had to spend weeks teaching her how to use the basic functions of a phone and she still doesn't understand most of them. The most confusing one to her was the concept of caller ID.

“No grandma, this is me Audelia. But I promise you I’ll take a look at that toilet when I’m back.” I hope it's something I can fix myself and don't need to call the plumber. They charge so much for something so simple. I can just google it and figure out what to do myself. YouTube has saved me fortunes.

She sighed. “Oh…that's you Audelia?” She sounded slightly different, making me worried. But at least she knows who I am now, that was an improvement.

“Yes? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” I urged. Thoughts, bad ones, swirled in my head. And when she didn’t respond immediately, they intensified.

“No. It’s all good. But um… we are out of bread. Can you get some? I’m hungry, dear.” I let out a breath of relief and put a hand over my heart. False alarm, nerve cells, don’t pull a heart attack on me yet; I still had the rest of the day.

“Of course grandma, I will get you bread. Do you need anything else?” I was almost out of breath.

“Nothing else, dear, no. Okay then, goodbye!” She hung up immediately after, leaving no more room for words.

I smiled again. I thanked God and everyone up there with him that she was okay. That is my only wish; for her to stay with me as long as humanly possible. It’s always been like this, just me and her, for 18 years.

She used to be a teacher when I was a baby. She would put me in daycare and teach, then bring me home and take care of me. When I turned 6, she started saying things that didn’t make sense to me. A year later, her memory got worse and she was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

We live off her retirement fund and welfare payments, and whatever I can muster out of summer jobs. I had to learn to cook and clean and memorize grandma’s medicine schedule. It has been a struggle, but we are managing. Not that I am complaining or anything. She’s my whole life.

“Audelia!” Julian was standing at the cafeteria doors, holding them open and beckoning for me to join him out. I quickly turned my vision towards his table and saw Selma looking at us, displeased. When my eyes met hers, she glared at me with narrowed eyes, her lips pursed in a thin menacing line. Yeesh.

Gulping down the last of my drink, I threw my tray in the bin and scurried out of the cafeteria, afraid Selma would shoot me down with her laser eyes.

“What is it?” I was curious as to what he had to say that couldn’t wait till the end of the day.

“Look, um remember when we were younger and used to swim in the back pool of my house?” he asked, his voice full of enthusiasm. I blushed at the memory. I wasn’t shy then being around him in a swimsuit, unlike the present. We would swim and play for hours in the water until we got shivers and our skin looked like dried apricots. But that was years ago.

I nodded my head fondly and smiled. “Yeah, I do. What made you think of that now?”

He grinned excitedly. “Well, I just heard the swim team won’t be having their race this month and will postpone it till March.” He looked so happy for some reason unknown to me, and for the first time ever, I felt slow and thick-headed. What is going on?

I urged him to continue, “And? What does that have to do with anything? I’m not getting it.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head, “Right, sorry, my bad. What I meant to say is that the natatorium from now on is going to be empty during the afternoons since there won't be any extra training, and I thought it would be a good chance for you to practice a bit yourself and you know, release some tension and...have fun,” he scratched the back of his neck and waited eagerly for my reaction.

Why is everyone suddenly interested in how I spend my free time?

But I do admit, it does sound like fun. The natatorium was used constantly by the swim team and we just go to the gym for P.E. Having it for myself for a while does sound interesting. He could obviously see the gears in my head turning, as he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.

“Audelia, my sweet, kind friend, you are such a responsible student and granddaughter, and as much as it warms my heart - as much as it makes me feel sorry for you. You are wasting your high school years, you haven’t once stepped out of your private world. I think this will be good for you.”

Oh, here we go again with the “your high school days are glorious; spend your days wisely” speech.

“You need a break.” He looked at me with determination, eyebrows raised as if daring me to say he’s wrong.

I sighed. “What time can I go swim?” I can’t disagree, he provided a good argument. Plus, I have a weak spot for those sweet hazel eyes, especially when they’re all bright and hopeful.

He grinned the grin of a winner - and a winner he was. “You can start tomorrow, as soon as the last period is over. Don’t worry, I asked dad and he was okay with it,” he said with pride. I shook my head at him, smirking. The perks of being the principal’s only child.

The bell rang and I straightened myself up, ready to walk to class. Julian wrapped his strong arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him in a side hug. He smelled heavenly, just so you know, like a forest at dawn. Musky, yet sweet. We walked to class like this, earning a few glances from other students.

“I also heard about that foreign kid, Audelia. If you want my opinion, I think you should go for it. If you haven’t noticed, you don’t have many friends,” he winked teasingly. I punched his chest mockingly and stuck my tongue out at him.  

“Who needs friends when I have you?” I replied, smiling smugly.

“And Selma?” He raised his eyebrows in question. He was being too hopeful there, but I let him have it after that favor he made. 

My smile wavered but I quickly smiled again. “Yes... and Selma.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Thanks for the ride, Julian!” I called over my shoulder, trying to fish the keys out of my over-stuffed bag.

“No problem, Lia. Don’t forget your swim clothes tomorrow!” He grinned, adorably, but Selma looked at us with furrowed eyebrows, confused. I’m sure he’ll tell her the details on their ride to her house. She wants to be in the know about everything. 

I went inside the house, kicking off my shoes, and hanging my coat. I trodded to the living room and was glad to see grandma sitting in her usual place, looking healthy and breathing fine. I dropped my bag and went to give her a kiss on her soft cheek.

“Who was that boy in the blue car, Audrey? I saw him through the window,” she asked. I guess it’s normal for her to not have recognized him. Ever since he got closer to Selma, he stopped coming over much and spent his free time either in practice or at her house.

“That was Julian, grandma. He lives close by, we used to visit his family a few years ago.” She stared into the distance, which she does whenever she wants to try and remember something. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and while looking at my reflection in the mirror, it hit me.

I forgot to get the bread grandma wanted.

Quickly, I ran to get my wallet and jogged to the kitchen. I opened the fridge to see what other groceries we were short of and wrote them down on my phone. I used the calculator to check if I could get everything with the money I had in my wallet.

This is also a habit I’ve grown accustomed to. I manage groceries with utmost care and make sure to balance them with our income.

I had to scratch mayonnaise and ham out of the list, leaving room for bread, milk, eggs, and whatever I can get of bananas with change. Only a few more years and I’ll get a proper job for us, I thought optimistically. I would then buy grandma all the yummy treats she craved. Bless her heart, she has never nagged or complained about the food we had - or the lack of it.

I re-wore my coat and told grandma I was off to get groceries. Luckily for us, there was a supermarket nearby. If I ran fast enough I would be back in 15 minutes tops - with the added benefit of exercising.

I arrived at the store, entirely out of breath, and got to work, searching for the few items I wanted in aisle after aisle. I got them all, checked their prices, and headed to the nearest empty cashier. As I was checking out my stuff, I felt my skin crawl. It was as if someone was staring at me. But when I looked back, I couldn't see anyone suspicious. Everyone looked normal, shopping. 

I’m just being paranoid, I shrugged. The woman told me the total price, and I pulled out the money from my wallet; but as I was handing the money over to the cashier, I suddenly felt goosebumps rise on my skin, making me visibly shiver.

I swear I was being watched.

Spinning around faster this time, I managed to catch a shadow of a man as he quickly slipped into one of the aisles behind me. I stared for a few seconds longer, my eyes lingering over that exact same spot when the bored cashier asked me impatiently, “Ma'am, would you like something else with that?” Startled, I shook my head no and thanked her, grabbing my bags. I took one more glance at that aisle before heading out the door, convinced that there was someone there stalking me.

I couldn’t shake off that creeping sensation on my way back home. I frequently kept looking back over my shoulders, making sure I wasn’t being followed home. The last thing I need is for them to know where I lived. I picked up my pace and ran the rest of the way, forcing myself not to entertain the thought of being murdered, and instead think about what I was going to prepare for dinner tonight. 

One thing was clear to see.

My spider senses were high.