Secret Affinity

12

“…you were the cutest baby I’d ever seen in my life, the most amazing gift your mother and I could ever ask for. Only you could bring the brightest smiles to our faces with your delicate hands and twinkling eyes…” a soft voice whispered.

It brought a smile to my face. My eyes opened that early morning to Dad sitting beside me and brushing my cheek.

“Dad?” I mumbled, sitting up. Nothing brought me more joy than seeing Dad’s face whenever I woke up. “What’re you doing here?”

“I don’t have work today, sweetie,” he answered. “Do you want to sleep a bit more? You have lots of time.”

“Can you talk to me while I sleep?” I asked, closing my eyes and falling back on my pillow.

“Nope. You’re awake now,” Dad said. When I was younger, Mom and Dad always spoke the sweetest things into my ears when I was sleeping. It was so I could wake up with a smile. And I always did.

I didn’t go to school today, and I told Michelle I couldn’t go to work because I had a cold. Truthfully, I wanted to spend the day with Dad, and he helped me cover up the lie.

“Tomorrow’s Halloween?” Dad said, stunned when he saw the calendar in our living room. “Time passes by pretty quick.”

I sat on the couch with a cup of cold milk. “Why did you take a day off today?”

He opened the curtains to let light in. “I didn’t take a day off. Some people were told to not go to work today.”

“You got laid off?” I said nervously.

“Not exactly.” He rubbed his chin. “It’s a different scenario even I can’t understand. Probably a union strike, but I’m not sure. Jack was saying something about government issues.”

“Jack…Julianna’s brother, right?” I said, and Dad nodded. “He works with you?”

“No, but he does work in my building. We talk sometimes,” he said, shrugging. “I got to say, he knows a lot about politics.”

I looked out the window. “I feel like everyone except you and I know about this kind of stuff.”

It was sunny out today, but the bare amount of leaves on trees and the yellowing grass prepared us for the cooler days coming ahead. It hardly snowed this week, but there would be an actual snow day tomorrow. It would be a nice change for Halloween.

In the kitchen, while Dad was washing his breakfast plate, he found the crumpled picture I left on the counter.

“What’s this?” he said, opening it up. “You still have this picture? Should I tell the previous house owners about it?”

“No,” I said. “I was supposed to throw it away but…” I didn’t know why I kept it. I had a feeling someone was going to come back and get it. I didn’t know who exactly, but someone, one of those three kids in the picture.

I wasn’t sure whether to tell Dad about it or not, but I explained to him what happened at the Thanksgiving dinner. I shared my own speculations about who Archie might be, and Dad had his own. I knew it wasn’t fair to talk about someone else’s business behind their back. I didn't even have a proper excuse for it.

“I recall Curtis is Jack’s boy, isn’t he?” Dad said. “You and he got along pretty well at that dinner.”

“He’s okay,” I admitted. “But he kept, I don’t know, being smug around Arian. He kept smiling at him in an evil sort of way.”

“There’s much to that boy than we know,” Dad said, putting his plate away. “But to be honest, it’s really hard to judge people like Arian. For example, I know a primitive part of Mom no one knew about. At first, she was totally different.”

“Mom?” I said, my ears alert. “What about her?”

“Well, she used to be the shiest girl in elementary,” he said. “Wouldn’t talk to anyone, not even the teacher.”

“Seriously?” I said, in disbelief. Dad grinned. “You knew Mom since elementary?”

“She was like the weird kid. I didn’t care much about her then. It wasn’t until I got to know her, I knew she was different.” I could see the sadness seep into his eyes. “Anyway, let’s not talk about Mom now. You went grocery shopping, right? You have everything for the winter?”

“About that, I couldn’t buy any clothes because of some weird things going on at the mall,” I said. “Come with me today.” I’d rather go with Dad than go alone.

“What weird thing?” Dad asked me. I didn’t go into it too deeply, but enough for him to be satisfied knowing I was safe. “This is one heck of a move, huh?” he joked.

“Yeah.” What a huge understatement.

We cooked out traditional family dish that morning, and it helped us remember and feel our own little family after Mom left. Being with each other reminded us of her.

Mid-afternoon, we got ready to go shopping. Chatter and laughter from next door got us looking over.

“Hey there Ari, Steve!” Julianna said. “Wonderful afternoon, isn’t it?” She, Elise, and Andy were about to head out as well.

“Getting chilly,” Dad said, rubbing his hands together. “No work today, huh?” Julianna said all the workers had a day off today, like Dad. They talked about it for a while, and I wondered about it, too.

Was something going on no one was being told about?

“Oh, Elise,” Dad said, and they greeted each other. “Wonderful to see you again. We’re heading to the mall. Ari needs some clothes.”

“We’re taking Andy to the dentist,” Julianna said. “After school, it’s Liara’s turn and she’s got a birthday party to attend.”

“Oh, is Andy staying alone in the house?” I asked. “Should I drop by?”

Elise smiled and gave me a small hug. “You’re always welcome.”

Dad and I soon left in his car. He had rarely been to the mall but had seen it from the outside when he went to work. What happened at the mall the other day was brand new to him.

I didn’t see any police cars today, but as we walked past the stores, I saw those guard-statues with the t-shirts and Nightingale symbols. Dad asked me if those were the people I was talking about, and I nodded.

“Did you get a pumpkin?” Dad suddenly asked me. It didn’t occur to me that Halloween was literally tomorrow. We always carved a pumpkin together every year to put outside on our porch.

I saw only one agent today, wearing that white and gold coat with black symbols, but it wasn’t Hogg. He had blonde hair, was taller, and the authority in his voice was strong and bold. Hogg had light brown hair and didn't give off the same controlling vibe.

“That’s one of the Nightingale division agents,” I whispered to Dad. “Never talk to them unless they talk to you.”

“Why?” he whispered back, and I shrugged.

Now that I got the hang of it, it wasn’t hard shopping in front of the NE Force. When Dad asked me what the difference between NR and NE was, I didn’t know what to tell him.

Somehow, we ended up in American Eagle again. Dad wrapped a scarf he liked around me, and in the middle of searching for items, someone poked me on the shoulder.

“Hey again!” he said, and I jumped in surprise. He was the same stalker from the bathroom scene. He looked side to side to make sure no one was looking. “He’s not here today.”

“Who?” I said. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are. I, uh, back then, I didn’t know what you were talking about.”

Dad noticed Hogg. “Hello, there. Do you know Ari?” Hogg introduced himself, and then I recalled his first name, Rowan. “I’m Ari’s father. Nice to meet you.”

“Same. I just dropped by to say hi,” he said. “I have to get back to work.” Dad and I both noticed his t-shirt with the symbol and glanced at each other.

“Where’s your white coat?” I asked Rowan. “I only saw one agent at another shop.”

“Different agents from different divisions change shifts or take turns,” he said. “You’ll see different ones, or same ones, depending on what day and what time you come.”

I surveyed his shirt. “But you’re part of the NE Force now, not…an agent.” That was when he realized I was being too observant and returned to his duty as a statue on guard.

“Ari, you sure know a bunch of the weirdest kids ever,” Dad commented quietly. That might be truer than I originally thought.

Getting a pumpkin the day before Halloween was a bad idea. There were very few left, but after extensive searching, we found two hand-sized pumpkins. Dad insisted we carve them today since he might go to back to work tomorrow.

We went home to set up the carving stations. Dad made me use the smaller knife, and even then, he did most of the cleaning himself on both pumpkins. By the time we were done carving the pumpkins, two hours flew by. Most of it was spent by talking and laughing and recollecting old memories. When would we have a chance like this again?

When Dad’s phone rang, I knew this chance was going to end soon. He stood up and talked for about a minute before washing his hands in a hurry.

“Sweetie, I have to go to work. It’s very urgent,” he said. He left the kitchen, and I heard thuds upstairs.

In silence, I waited until he came back with a suit on and a suitcase. He kissed my forehead and told me to eat dinner and go to bed early. The door shut, and I was left alone again.

My eyes darted up to the wall-clock, and the short hand pointed to eight on the dot.

I cleaned up the carving stations and took both pumpkins outside along with two candles. The darkness outside was perfect for Jack-o-Lanterns.

Dad made a regular-faced pumpkin, and I made a spider. Sitting quietly, I watched both the faces glow on the porch. It made me happy seeing I made these with my dad. Although he was busy, a small memory like this was enough. Although I was alone, I didn't feel a weight on my heart.

The McCoys’ garage lamps turned on, and after a minute, I decided to stand up and spend some time with them. Their porch and lawn were covered with Halloween decorations. They had at least three pumpkins already set on their porch—I was impressed.

The first time I knocked, no one answered the door. The second time I knocked, Andy opened it with both of his hands on the knob.

“Hi!” he said. “Are you going to help us carve a pumpkin?”

“Um, yeah, sure,” I said. I closed the door and followed him into the dining room. “Is mom or grandma home?”

“No,” he said. I saw a huge pumpkin sitting on the dining table, and a lot of cloths underneath.

“You’re here by yourself?” I asked.

“Evin’s helping me,” he said and climbed onto the chair. “He’s getting the wittle carving knives.”

The top of the pumpkin was already chopped off, but the guts were still inside. Andy told me we could start taking them out, and we did together. I wiggled my fingers at him, and he giggled. Evin came back when we were almost done, and he complained about having to search the entire kitchen.

“Thank God you came. Do you mind staying until mom and grandma come home?” he asked me, and I nodded. “I have to go to work. Didn’t get time since I had to babysit Andy.”

“Isn’t Liara back yet?” I asked. Evin told me she wanted to sleepover after the birthday party.

Carving a pumpkin with Dad and the McCoys felt different, but pretty much the same. I got that warm feeling, like I belonged in a family that loved me.

Andy did the carving himself, and we helped him. It took a longer time, but the way his lips curved up reminded me of myself.

“I’m done!” Andy said, admiring his masterpiece.

“Awesome. I’m going,” Evin said. A faint whirring sound started outside, and Evin’s face relaxed. “Just in time. Ari, can you help Andy put the pumpkin outside?”

While Evin went to go change, I picked the pumpkin and followed Andy onto the porch. The sound increased, but I know what was coming.

As I put the pumpkin on the porch, Arian’s motorcycle stopped at the garage. The garage door opened, and Evin went down the porch steps while putting his coat on.

“I told you to come a bit early,” Evin said to Arian on the driveway. He went to get his car.

“Hi, Big A!” Andy said, waving.

“So what?” Arian said, looking at me before putting his bike in the garage. “The babysitter’s here anyway.”

“Precautions, Arian,” Evin said, reversing his car. He stuck his head out the window to tell me to be careful.

Evin left, and Arian walked into the house. Andy tagged behind him, asking if they could go outside. I was at the brink of going to my house to avoid trouble with Arian, but I told myself, whatever. I wouldn’t try to talk to him. Problem solved.

Andy asked for gummy bears, and I took him to the kitchen.

“Big A, you want a gummy bear, too?” he said, and I turned to see Arian walking into the kitchen.

“No,” he replied, opening one of the cabinets.

I removed the lid and told Andy to get whichever one he wanted. He asked me if I wanted one. I opened my mouth, and Andy popped one in. “Thank you.”

“You are, welcome,” Andy said as I put the container away. “Big A, can we go outside?”

“No,” Arian said without even looking at Andy. “And I told you not to call me that.” I wanted to talk at that moment but resisted.

“Pwease?” Andy asked, and Arian didn’t give in.

“Where do you want to go?” I asked Andy. “I’ll take you there.”

I didn’t know the place Andy was talking about. Some kind of field, a little far away from here. It had no proper directions. He told me Arian always took him, but he wasn’t today. Then Andy added Arian was being a meanie.

“Fine,” Arian said, sighing. “I’d rather take you than trust her.” I wasn’t offended. In fact, I wondered about what he said. He cared but didn’t show that he did.

Andy held onto my hand when we went outside. Arian opened the garage and pulled out his bike. He saw my deadpanned face while spinning his helmet with his hand.

“Let’s go,” Andy said, pulling my hand.

“Wait, what?” I said in utter confusion. “You mean, we have to go on the bike?” Andy nodded, equally confused. “But Andy, that’s, it’s a…” It was a motorcycle.

“You got a problem?” Arian said, “If you’re scared, you can go home.”

“I’m not scared,” I said to him. “There’s no way Andy can go on a bike. He’s only four.”

“Five,” Arian corrected.

“But I’m going to be five in one, month,” Andy said. I held his hand tighter. “It’s okay, I’ve been on it before. It’s a wot of fun.”

“It’s not safe for you,” I said, taking a step back. “You don’t even have a helmet.”

“I do,” Andy said.

“You’re wasting my time,” Arian said. His eyes were so sharp. It was me either going home or going with them.

“Big A has another helmet, too,” Andy said, trying to convince me. “You can wear it. It’s okay, I pwomise.”

I let his hand go. “I can’t make you stay but be careful.” Arian folded his arms when I began to walk towards my house.

“You’re not coming with us?” Andy called. “Big A, can we go in the car? Pwease?”

“Do you want her to come?” Arian asked him. Andy nodded, and Arian got off his bike. I didn’t think he was going to change his mind that easily.

Arian drove his silver car out, and Andy got into the back seat. I sat in the passenger seat and rolled my window down a bit for fresh air.

I looked back at Andy. “Did you want me to come that badly?”

“I want to tell you about all the stars I named,” he told me. “And I want to show you my favourite stayrwgasing spot.”

“Sta-what?”

“Stargazing spot,” Arian said.

“Stargazing spot?” I was still confused. “We’re going to see the stars?” It was fascinating. A special area to look at the stars?

I couldn’t recognize the area we drove to, but I couldn’t see many houses around or any kind of facilities. It seemed like the countryside, perfect for seeing a clear sky and maybe the horizon.

Arian drove over the curb and started up the grassy hill. I kind of freaked.

“What’s it with you?” I gasped. “The road is there for a reason. Do you want to destroy your car? That’s how you destroy your car and kill us all.”

The car stopped abruptly right on top of the hill, and Andy opened the door to get out. I was frozen with my arms out to the dashboard.

“A four-year-old is braver than you,” Arian said and got out. Man, that goal not to talk to Arian was a failure.

I let Andy take my hand and lead me a little down the hill, and Arian followed behind us.

“Come here, and,” he said, sitting on the hill and lying flat, “and go wike this. Look, there are so many.” I did as he said and saw a full sky full of stars. I was speechless. I never saw something like this, and I thought the view from my roof was astonishing.

“Oh my God,” I whispered. “Andy, this is beautiful.”

“I want a twelescope,” he said. “So I can see every single one.” I grinned, letting the air slap my cheeks.

“Mom would’ve loved this,” I said, louder than I meant to. Andy was listening closely, and I shifted uncomfortably.

But Brilliant Cove was a messed-up city. She would have loved it but would’ve left instantly after hearing the term ‘NE Force’. She hated politics, and just imagining the NR evacuation and the agents raiding our homes—

“Hey.” I tilted my head back to see Arian sitting on top of the hill. He caught eyes with me. “What’s the difference between NE and NR?” I waited, but he didn't respond. “My dad was asking earlier today.” When he realized I wasn’t going to leave it, he shifted his gaze up.

“NE refers to a non-governmental force associated with Nightingale that is larger and more powerful than NR Agents,” he said in one, clean sentence.

“Wait,” I said, sitting up so I faced him. “I don’t get it.” Arian gave me a pointed look. “Sorry, I’m not, I don’t understand well. I’ll leave you alone after this, promise.”

He sighed. “The NE Force is made up of divisions that are taken over by NE Agents. It makes sure no Nightingale citizen is in Brilliant Cove. The Agents make all the decisions.”

“The guys with white coats?” I said.

“The NR Agents only go about raiding houses for Nightingale runaways that come to Brilliant Cove illegally,” he continued.

“The guys with the black suits and, uh, sunglasses?” I said. Arian gave me a strange look. “How do you know all of this?”

“I told you what you wanted to know, so don’t ask me how I know it,” Arian said coldly. Goosebumps formed on my skin, and I rubbed my arms.

“Okay, thank you,” I said.

Arian stood up, hands in his pockets. “Don’t thank me all the time. It's annoying.”

“You don’t want me to thank you or apologize to you,” I said quietly. “How about I just don’t even talk to you?”

He glanced at me. “That’s what you should be doing.”

I got my information, so I was fine with that. I lied back next to Andy, and he began to tell me about some of the stars.

I closed my eyes, smiling slightly. I could feel Mom’s presence, a warmth flooding into my body. If something ever seemed impossible or bad, this feeling washed away any regret or fear. Right now, the only fear or foreboding feeling I had was of the city's troubles. I could slightly mask it with this peace.

“Thanks for showing me this place,” I told Andy quietly.

“You are welcome,” he said, smiling.