Secret Affinity

14

I wasn’t feeling too good this morning. It had been a week since I went to the McCoys’ house, and of course, they asked me why I wasn’t visiting often anymore. The half-true answer was that I had bakery work and school work piling up.

I hadn’t talked to Liara in a while, and I had no idea what was going on with her. In fact, beyond an occasional wave and greeting, I had minimal interaction with the McCoys. The only person I hadn’t talked to at all, and probably wouldn't, was Arian. I wanted to keep it that way.

Focusing on school was my main goal right now with the McCoys and NE Force out of my mind. This meant not talking to Crimson as much, using my time wisely, and diligently doing housework. If I didn't even do that much, I'd collapse being idle.

All the studying paid off, because we had our first Calculus test today. Arian left an hour early, and the normal assumption would be that he finished his test. Was that even possible?

The bell rang, and everyone handed in their tests. I asked Crimson if she found the test easy since she'd been a nervous wreck studying for it, and she shrugged.

“By the way, did something happen to you?” Crimson asked me. It was casual, as if she was wondering and not worrying. “I mean, you’re much quieter than usual.”

“Aren’t I always like that?” I said.

“You are,” Crimson said as we made our way to our biology classroom. “I’m guessing whether you are fine or you are not. You seem fine, but I feel like you’re not.”

“I’m fine,” I said, giving her a smile to prove it.

She shrugged again. “Okay.” We sat in our seats at the back of class and waited for everyone else to come in. “Are you going to get distracted with pretty jock boy as always?”

I didn’t want to get distracted, but whenever he talked to me, I was obliged to answer—I didn't want to be rude. My back straightened when he took his seat next to me.

“Sup?” he said. I replied with a 'hi' and took my books out. By now, he should’ve known I wasn’t a big talker. I felt like he did but ignored it anyway.

“Okay everyone, after evaluating your midterms,” Mr. Moore said, “some of you have a lot to work on. Since you didn't do well on your unit test, there's an alternative assignment to boost your mark.”

He talked about an individual biopsy lab. I was one of the few students who did well on the test, but I knew some people, like Nixon and Crimson, weren’t all that happy about it.

“Ari, you have to help me on this,” Crimson said to me from her seat. “I hate biology.” I was okay with helping Crimson since she struggled a lot with bio.

“I was going to ask for help, too,” Nixon whispered to me with furrowed brows. I wasn’t sure about helping Nixon, however. “Please?” His eyes held mine in an intense gaze. Were blue eyes always this intimidating?

“If I’m available,” I finally said. He seemed satisfied with my answer when he sat back.

Crimson didn’t mind me sitting with Nixon’s friends at lunch again. In fact, she was too indifferent about it. Did she think I liked hanging out with them?

I didn’t see Rowen in the cafeteria today. Half of the building seemed empty for some reason, but I told myself not to worry about it.

“…we got this stupid assignment in biology,” Nixon was telling his friends. “If you failed the unit test, you have to do it.”

“Sucks for you, bro,” Sean said, snickering at him.

“So, what about you?” Kylie said to me. “What’s new with you? Helping people and hanging out?”

“Yeah…” I said, because I really had nothing else to say. “Getting my work done. Nothing more.” Man, I sounded painfully boring. But that was because I didn't sync with these guys, and I didn't have a good first impression.

“She’s going to help me with bio,” Nixon said and leaned towards his friends, “and she’s helping Crimson.”

“Crimson? That emo chick?” Sean asked. “I swear she eats grasshoppers for a living and works at a tattoo shop.”

“She’s too uncool for that,” Kylie said. “Her style is a definite no-no. Safire hated her since middle school.”

“Urgh, don’t even talk about it,” Safire said. “She failed all of her classes and showed up with the most awful hairstyles.”

“What are you doing with a chick like that?” Kylie asked me.

If they knew Crimson, they wouldn’t be saying such things about her. First Rowen, and now Crimson. I had enough. I wasn't one to go along with them with the fear of being excluded.

“There's more to someone than meets the eye,” I said, clasping my hands in my lap. “I didn't feel uncomfortable hanging out with her.” When a hush fell over the group, I thought it'd be best to leave in the tension. “I forgot, I have something to do. Sorry to leave so early.”

“Oh, um, that's okay,” Nixon said.

I stood up, gave them a farewell, and left with no intentions of joining them for lunch again. I'd rather stick with a group that didn't judge others and were like a big family who teased each other and laughed together. They weren’t the ones that deserved to be looked down on.

The rest of school went by tediously. I used to love school, and I still did, but some of that joy and comfort left without me realizing.

When I got home, rather than doing my school work, I did housework. I dusted all the vases and paintings and cleaned the toilets and sinks. I still had about an hour left before work, but I wore my coat and boots to go shopping in the meantime.

Just as I reached for the door knob, there was a knock. I opened the door and—to my dismay—saw an agent.

I didn’t expect to see one today, with all the black clothing and shady glasses. When he asked me to move, I was a bit slow on my actions. I waited outside amid the light snow as the agent explored my house.

My hands tightened around the strap of my bag. Although it was a beautiful day out, I felt terrible inside. When a car pulled up on the McCoys’ driveway, relief washed over me. I wouldn't be alone.

Julianna and Liara stepped out of the car, and judging by my pale face, Julianna asked me if I was okay. Right then, the agent came back outside.

“The raid is over,” he told me and left. Another agent went to the McCoys’ house, and Julianna led him in.

“Where were you?” Liara asked me. “Why are you not babysitting anymore?” I told her I was a bit busy. She took me to her house when the agent finished his checkup.

“That was an unexpected raid,” Julianna said. “Are you okay?” I nodded tightly, and she invited me inside. “We haven’t seen you in a while. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I murmured. “Was busy with school and the house.” I saw Elise and Andy in the living room.

“Do you have a cold?” Elise asked me, going to the kitchen. “You’re very quiet.”

“The agents must’ve scared her,” Julianna said, and Elise pressed her lips together. “Were you going somewhere, Ari?”

“Um, I was going to go shopping before work.” I rubbed my hands in my lap. “Is it okay if I stay here? I’ll leave at around six for work.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” Julianna said, sitting beside me. “I forgot to ask, where do you work?”

“Bakery Town. It's in the city-centre,” I answered. Julianna raised her eyebrows. “I work there with a friend.”

“That’s nice,” she said pensively. “Bakery Town sounds familiar.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was wondering,” Elise said from the kitchen. She got me a glass of water as Julianna left to go change. She came back to help Elise prepare dinner.

I sat on the ground to play Barbie with Liara and examined her closely. She was her usual outgoing self, so I didn't want to bring anything up.

“Dear,” Elise said, catching my attention. “I haven’t seen you in quite a bit. Is everything going well?” She asked me the same thing as Julianna. I honestly didn’t expect them to be this worried about me—it made me feel good inside but guilty for disappearing for a week.

“I got busy,” I said. She nodded, but it was slow.

“Liara told me about the Halloween night,” Elise said. I kept calm. “Thanks for helping her out. It could get quite difficult for her.”

“No, I understand,” I said, smiling weakly. I checked the time, and my smile dropped. I had to leave in ten minutes. “I better get going.”

“There’s still some time left,” Elise said, traces of worry on her face.

We heard footsteps as the stairs creaked, and Arian went to the kitchen while holding his keys. Julianna and Arian didn’t make eye-contact once, like they were invisible to each other.

“Hi, Big A!” Andy called. Arian looked over at the same time I looked away. I didn’t want any interaction with him. At all. That was mainly the reason why I didn’t go to the McCoys’ house anymore.

“The agents came today, Arian,” Elise informed. Arian said he knew. “Do you know when to get prepared for the raids?”

“You’re doing fine,” Arian said, turning off the faucet.

“I mean, for Arial,” Elise said, and Arian pretended not to hear her. “The poor girl doesn’t even have a clue. A preparation would be helpful.”

“Arian? He won’t help anyone,” Julianna said, and I’d never heard her voice sound so unfriendly. “We’ll just ask Evin when he gets home.”

“Evin doesn’t know,” Elise said. “I asked him already.”

“I don’t understand why you’re taking precautions for a complete outsider,” Arian pointed out. “She knows enough to take care of herself.”

“I—” I stopped. I defended myself many times, but it was never enough. Now, I got all of their attention.

“Ari, don’t stress yourself out,” Julianna said. “It takes time to understand these evacuations going on in Brilliant Cove. Don’t feel bad about yourself, okay?”

“I don’t,” I assured her. “I came from a very different background. I’ve never had these dangerous things happen to me in the city I came from. It’s all new to me—”

“Again, I don’t understand,” Arian cut me off. He leaned over the island with pierced eyes, and I couldn’t help but shrink a little. “Your old city has nothing to do with your ability to cope with these changes.”

“Y-yes it does,” I said quietly. “When I came here, I saw city issues and the police everywhere.”

“And you assume the only solution is to hide and make others worry?” he said, and I felt guilty.

“I’d assume there was violence, a lot of it but I can’t, I can’t assume that. I’m too used to a nicer environment. Nothing bad ever happened in my old city.”

“Oh, really?” Arian said, his face changing from ice to a glacier. “Then I’m curious to know how your mother died.”

My mouth fell open, words gone, and mind full of buzzing sounds that gave me a headache. I felt like after what Arian said, everything moved in slow motion. In slow motion, I saw him break eye contact, I saw Julianna yelling at him, and Elise trying to calm everyone down.

But I, I wasn’t having any of it. I knew at the mention of my mom and death in the same sentence, my whole world stopped right then and there. I didn’t think Arian would go that far. I didn't think he'd be this shallow and narrow-minded. I’d rather let him scold me than say that.

“What did I say about this i***t?!” Julianna yelled. Arian sighed in frustration as he knelt to close the cabinet.

“Arian, please apologize to Ari,” Elise said. She saw me on the verge of tears. “Oh my gosh! Ari, we’re really sorry, dear.” She walked to me and tried to comfort me with a hug.

“I have to leave,” I said, my voice surprisingly clear but monotone. I stood up but Julianna told me to sit right back.

“Go apologize,” she told Arian right in the face.

“You’re asking for something that wouldn’t make a difference,” Arian said, walking into the living room and heading for the door.

“You’re right,” Julianna said, stopping him by the shoulders. “Then you have to make it up to her.”

“No,” Arian said.

“You’re so ruthless. Have a heart and make it up to her!” Julianna shouted at her son. A cry hitched in my throat, looking at the mess I’d made and revealing all these nasty sides of the people that were most kind to me.

“Juli!” Elise said. “We have better ways than to shout. Arian should be given a sort of punishment that is beneficial to Ari and torture for him.”

Julianna laughed coldly. “Really? Him? What would he do?”

Elise glanced at me, and she glanced at Arian. “They go to work at the same time. Let Arian drop her off today.”

“You trust him?” Julianna said. “He can abandon her somewhere, God knows where.”

“And make it so he drops her off everyday,” Elise continued, ignoring Julianna. “Ari, when do you come home from work?” I remained quiet until she lightly shook me.

“Nine,” I said, and closed my eyes. I stood up and Arian, who was about a foot away, looked at me along with Julianna and Elise. “It’s okay. I’m gonna go.”

“No. It’s not okay,” Julianna said. “Let, let Arian take you to your workplace. Don’t take the bus. We’ll think of a better punishment later.”

“Arian, you,” Elise said, giving him a serious look, “drop her off and pick her up before coming home. I know you know where Bakery Town is. Got it? And apologize, because you know yourself it’s the worst punishment you can get.” Arian pursed his lips and walked out.

“Don’t worry, Ari,” Julianna said softly. “We’re so sorry for what Arian said. He’s always been like that—”

“It’s okay,” I mumbled. “I’m going to go. Bye.” I was in a trance when I went outside and down the porch. How your mother died…

On the driveway, I saw Arian sitting on his bike, waiting. I avoided making eye-contact when I walked up to the bike, and he handed me a helmet. I put it on or tried to, anyway. He put his on before I could even blink.

“God,” he muttered and adjusted the straps on the helmet himself. I got on the bike behind him with a feverish feeling. I held the grip behind the bike when it roared to life, and Arian drove away.

I lost my grip in five seconds and clutched his leather jacket for balance. I never rode on a bike before, and it wasn’t a great experience at first. But the whole time I was on that bike, I had nothing else on my mind but one thing.

How your mother died.

I pressed my lips together to not cry, but tears built up in my eyes. He wasn’t wrong. That made me sadder, that Arian wasn’t wrong when he said it.

The black jacket became unfocused as everything turned blurry. It was years since I thought about Mom’s death. Years. Why didn’t I go home? I shouldn’t be going to work when I felt this way. Closing my eyes, I let a tear whip into the air.

The air was soft though, not rough. Riding on a motorcycle felt free, and the sound wasn’t that bothersome either. Arian wasn’t going to abandon me like Julianna thought he would. I just somehow knew he wouldn’t. And he didn’t.

The bike slowed when we entered the small neighbourhood. We passed the spot where I almost got hit by him, and I let go of his jacket. We were seconds away from Bakery Town.

He stopped a couple feet away from the store and I got off. I saw him through the helmet eye-slot and struggled to take it off. When I did, I held it out for him to take.

“Keep it,” he said, and I frowned. “I have to take you home.” Was he really willing to do that? No, it was his punishment.

“Thank you,” I said out of habit and walked to the store without turning back.

When I joined Crimson out at the cash register, she questioned me about the anonymous biker who dropped me off. I was relieved he wore a helmet, so Crimson didn’t know.

“He sometimes comes here,” Crimson said. “I see him when I work overtime, like between ten and midnight.”

“He buys from here?” I asked in surprise. Crimson nodded and said he never took off his helmet though. I could only imagine what would happen if he did.

I sighed and got to work, greeting a customer before she made her order. Now, whenever I saw Dad, I would probably think of what happened today. And that’d make me depressed all over again. I couldn’t get it out of my head, and I had only Arian to blame. I bit my lip hard from getting emotional.

How your mother died.