Ember
I'm ruined. Willow has left me. She's never lived through something like, that it was kept from her, if she was always locked away. I tried to push forward so that she wouldn't have to, if she wouldn't let me, she wanted to fight. Oliver's training could not have prepared us for this. For going through this again we couldn't even call forth the fire, we froze and now it's all of our fault. We are ruined, broken again, still broken.
I don't even really remember how we got to the bathtub, but I'm grateful for it. I can't wash away the shame, I can't wash away the fact that the fault is mine, but I can wash away his smell from my skin. I can't soothe the pain of knowing that I brought this upon myself or that I couldn't stop it. But I can soothe the physical pain from the attack. But
