The Night I Met You

4 - It's him I want to be with

-Emma

*Saturday*

I woke up from the bright sunlight that showers my room. It has been eight days since Claire and Debbie left. They left the day after they arrived. Couldn't stay long, they said.

I stood up and went to the window, letting the sun warm me up. Seems like a good day to go running.

After brushing my teeth and getting ready, I went for a run. I have got my airpods and phone with me. Put on some music and started running. The neighbourhood is very quiet but I suppose it is because it's saturday and 7 am.

As I keep running, I start thinking about Adam. I never saw him again, since that day at the club. He disappeared in thin air. How is that possible? I shake that thought away and keep running.

After one hour, I returned to the apartment and went straight to the bathroom. I opened the door and Jason was inside washing his hands.

"Oh, I'm sorry. The light is off and the door was unlocked." You could have knocked, dummy.

"It's fine. No need to worry. Were you out on a run?" He doesn't seem interested in knowing, but since I opened the door, he may as well say something, I guess.

"Yes. I just got back." I kept smiling and slowly closed the door, as I turned my back on him.

"I am done. You can go in." He opened the door and now he was wearing just his shorts. No shirt. Even though he doesn't work out, he has a nice body.

"Thanks." God I feel so stupid. I go inside, before I do or say something stupid, and close the door. But there is this voice inside of me that needs me to look through the keyhole and see if Jason is still out there, shirtless.

Am I the weirdest person ever or what?

I get undressed and throw the clothes in my laundry basket. Turn the shower on and get inside.

"Finally," I sighed, feeling relaxed. After a while, a knock on the door frightens me and I scream.

"Sorry for scaring you, Emma. It's me Leyla." Leyla is back from Maui?

"Leyla? You are back?"

"Yes! Could I please come in? I can't hold it any longer!"

"Sure. The door is unlocked."

She comes inside rushing, locks the door and says her hellos and everything, until she sits on the toilet and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"That good, eh?" I tried not to laugh. I know the feeling. Everyone does.

"You have no idea." She chuckles.

"Hey, I heard you went out last saturday. Thank Goodness for that!" How does she know? I didn't tell her . . .

"Hm, yeah. With . . . with my girlfriends. How do you know?"

"My sister told me. She saw you at '69 Secrets'." Cora was there?

"I didn't see her."

"She saw you leaving the bar, while she was still standing in the line to get inside. At least that's what she told me."

There wasn't a line when we left. It was maybe 4 am or something.

"Okay."

"See you later."

"Okay." I finally showered at peace for the next 20 minutes.

I was in my room, drying my hair and watching Netflix. The series FRIENDS, to be specific. I love FRIENDS. Chandler and Phoebe are my favourite. Naaah. I love them all. My stomach growled and I knew I had to eat.

After drying my hair, I went to the kitchen and started looking for ingredients for me to make something.

What do I crave? Eggs and bacon and avocado toast. Perfect.

I look for the ingredients and realised that there were no avocados. Not so perfect after all.

Eggs and bacon will suffice, I think. I took out the pan and put it on the stove. Taking two eggs out of the box in the fridge, I put them on a small towel so they won't fall, and I closed the fridge.

Now, I need some oil. Olive oil. Ah, there it is.

I love cooking. It relaxes me to the core. But I only love it when I am alone in the kitchen and when no one tells me how to cook. That is the most frustrating thing in the whole world, if you ask me.

"Hello!" There's a voice I don't quite recognise.

I turned around and looked at the familiar face. It's him.

"Adam?" How the hell did he end up here? How does he know where I live?

"Hey, I didn't know you shared an apartment with Jason."

He knows Jason? Oh my God, he is a freak!!!!

"You know Jason?"

"He is my cousin. I am sorry if I scared you. I am not a stalker. It's just . . . I haven't seen Jason in so long and decided to stop by."

I hope you are telling the truth. Otherwise, I will rip your balls off. Rip 'em.

"Oh. Uhm . . . welcome."

"Thanks." His smile again. Oh my God, that smile. He is so handsome.

"How come I have never seen you here before?"

"It's because I just came back from England. I have lived there for the past 17 years."

"Must be nice. England."

"It's cold. Mostly." He grins and I get rewarded with a very familiar feeling.

Oh, this is not good.

I cleared my throat and told him I had to cook breakfast.

"Sure. See you later."

What do I say to that? Do I want to see him again and feel what I felt? That - oh so familiar - feeling.

"Bye."

I crack the egg open and let it fall on the pan. The minute the egg falls on the pan, I get reminded of the time Fred used to make me feel like Adam did, just five seconds ago.

Don't go there, Emma.

That cute smile of his. Those beautiful round, big hazel eyes. He used to make me happy. He stopped making me happy. He decided he wanted to make me hurt the worst way imaginable. Why?

Why me?

It hurts so much to know that he loved me. He loved me for two years and then nothing. Only hatred. Pain. He got so violent that night. He hurt me. A few tears slide down my cheeks and I brush them away with my hands.

I close my eyes, and push the memories away, just like Mrs. Davil taught me.

She was so disappointed when I had to leave therapy. I had to. I came to Harvard. I couldn't stay in Dover my whole life. Not after what he did. Not after what my mom did. It was like God was giving me signs to leave Dover and I did.

"Are you okay?" That familiar voice again. Please go.

"Yeah."

"Do you need any help?" I need you to go. Now.

"I can manage."

"If you need anything, I will be on the balcony with Jason."

Why isn't he going away? GO!

"Okay." I sighed and turned around to look at him. He looks sad. Hurt. He is mirroring my emotions.

He cracks a small smile and turns away.

You don't deserve happiness. Never did, never will.

No. I don't.

A damaged person doesn't need help recovering. You are damaged. You can't go back. You are broken. Broken things stay broken, forever.

'You are worth it, Emma. You are strong and you are loved.'

No, Mrs. Davil. I am not. I never was and never will be.

"Eat. You'll feel better." Professor Lupin said to Harry. He is right. Food is always the answer. I feel so much better after eating.

Putting the knife and the fork down, I drink my orange juice and decide to take it to the kitchen. I stand up and take the dishes to the kitchen, where Adam, Jason and Leyla are talking, but stop as soon as they look at me.

They look suspicious.

"Hey, we are going out. Want to come?" Leyla asks and starts meddling with her fingers.

She is nervous. Leyla is never nervous. Literally.

"I think I am going to stay home and read. I have an exam coming up in two weeks."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You go on without me."

"Alright. If you change your mind, we will be at Christy's. You know, she is having the barbecue today."

Shit. I forgot about that.

"Okay. I will give you a call if I change my mind."

I looked at her and then at Adam. His eyes were staring at mine and it felt like he was asking me to go. Weird. Really weird. I turned away and went to my room.

After a couple of minutes, Leyla knocked on my door and said they were leaving. She gave me a quick hug and they left. Out of the blue, I wanted to go after them. It was like an instinct. I have to go.

I have to see him. It's him I want to be with.

What should I wear?