A hopeless kind of love

Chapter 12: Going back

Chapter 12

Liv

"Molly!" I shout as I enter the mall and see a light brown-skinned girl with cute black hair.

She has changed so much. But again, I haven't seen her for four years. She's pretty tall now, she's slim and walks really well in heels. She has a black strapless crop top and a mini skirt. But the biggest change she's done to herself is to straighten her hair. Her curls are gone, and her hair is really long, it reaches her waist. But she is Molly, that much is clear and that’s all I see. Our best friend since preschool. There’s no doubt about it, she’s so beautiful.

"Liv! Lila!" She screams, causing people to look her way and follow her with their eyes as she starts to run toward me.

She comes running up to me and hugs me tight.

"Oh my god Molly, it has been so long", I say, starting to cry. I let her go and Lila hugs her. I’m about to cry.

Lila and I actually have our best friend back. I have her back. I have Molly back in my life and standing in front of both Molly and Lila makes my heart feel whole.

"I've missed you both so much", Molly cries.

"Yeah me too", I say, wiping tears from my eyes. I just can’t help crying right now.

People are still staring at us, so I grab Molly’s and Lila's arms and starts to pull her toward a cafe. We catch up, and neither of us can keep the smile off our faces. Lila and I tell Molly about our lives and Molly tells us about her life.

"But how come you did this to your hair?" I ask, I always loved her curls and wanted to have curls myself as a child.

"I got tired of my big hair", Molly laughs. "But you haven't dumped your braids I see".

"Elle would kill me if I did that", I laugh. "But I do have my hair loose as well when I feel like it". Lila always has her hair loose, that’s about the only way people can tell us apart. I always have braids and Lila always has her hair loose.

It's easy to talk to Molly, always has been. She’s our best friend and it’s crazy how easy you fall back into the roles you had as a child. Molly is the only one besides Elle who understands us, understands me. We understand each other without having to talk.

We sit here and just talk and drink coffee for a very long time. Suddenly I hear someone behind me.

"Liv?" I don't recognize that voice so I turn around. "Liv Olsen?"

"Oh my god!" I shout and jump out of my chair. “Eric!?"

Eric Hayes. My best childhood guy friend. He moved to France one year before mom forced me to move away from Elle. His father got a job in Paris.

I thought that I would never ever see him again. He's a mini copy of his older brother Darren, Elle, and Cody’s best friend. Eric was always more my friend than Lila’s. We’re twins and we stick together, Molly is both our best friend, but that doesn’t mean that we only have the same friends. She’s friends with Eric, yes, but I was always closer to him than she was.

I haven't seen Eric since we were eleven years old. He has changed so much, I mean, of course, he has, was just a boy when he left, but now he's a... Can I call him a man? I mean he's sixteen like me, but he really does look like a man. He looks a lot like Darren.

"Yeah it's me, god you've changed so much", Eric smiles and walks up to me, Lila and Molly. "Besides your braids of course, and hey ... Molly! God, what have you done to your hair? And oh my god Lila!”

Molly laughs and hugs Eric.

"And what happened to your voice, Eric? You sound so grown-up", Lila says when she hugs him.

Eric scratches his neck and blushes.

"Everyone grows, puberty hit me, just look at you three, when I left we were eleven and now we’re sixteen you all look grown-up as well", he says. “You look like women”.

“Is your whole family back? Are you back to stay?" I ask, thinking of Nathalie, who now has to be about nine years old.

"Yeah we are all back and yes we are", Eric says. "We're not going anywhere now".

I smile big and hug him. As soon as our bodies make contact, my body becomes all warm and tingly. I feel something start to stir inside of me. I suddenly feel very nervous. I take in Eric’s scent in my nose and I almost feel like crying. All my feelings and emotions from back then come flowing back. And it feels like they are stronger now. Oh no.

Please don't tell me I still have a crush on Eric Hayes.

Cody

Elle and I are changing to go and meet Darren when the doorbell rings and I know it's Vicky. Two reasons I know. First of all, she was gonna come by at this time, and second of all, after she rings the doorbell she doesn't wait for anyone to come open the door, she just opens it by herself, she does have a key. She only rings on the doorbell to let us know that she's here.

Elle and I don't care about the doorbell. We only continue to change, and the second I pull the shirt over my upper body, she comes inside the bedroom.

She has one hand on the doorframe and leans inside the room with a high pulse-like she's catching her breath. What the hell did she do? Did she run all the way here?

"Are you serious? Is he back? Like back here to the city?" She asks choked.

"Yeah", Elle says and pulls on a pair of jeans.

"Geez I haven't seen him in like five years", she says, as her pulse slows down and she starts to breathe calmly. "And Elle, cute bra by the way".

"Yeah I know right, and thanks", she says smiling as she takes up a crop top from the bed.

What is it with girls? I mean come on... Cute bra? They change together and compliment each other's underwear. I can't even imagine boys doing that. It would scare me if we did that, I mean come on, what would we say, nice boxers? Cute boxers?

Elle’s phone vibrates. She pulls the crop top over her head and takes up the phone.

She smiles at the text she's reading. "Liv and Lila met Eric at the mall", she says. "They were sitting in a cafe with Molly and he just came there".

"Eric had a big, big BIG crush on Liv when they were kids", I say. "He told me and Darren one time when I was at their house, that he was depressed because he thought that she was too good for him".

"Awww", Elle and Vicky exclaim.

"I hope he still is or can be again", Elle says, smiling as she takes up her handbag. "They would be sooo cute together".

"They really would", Vicky agrees.

***

We meet Darren at Starbucks. Seems like Starbucks or cafes are the places to meet people. Everyone does it. Or that’s how it appears anyway.

When we arrive we see that he's already sitting at a table. He stands up when he sees us with a big smile on his face.

He scans us with his eyes and his eyes land on Vicky for a longer time.

"Hey you guys", Darren says when we come up to him. "Long time no see".

Elle hugs him and while she hugs him, he and I make a bro's fist.

When Vicky hugs him, it looks like he's smelling her hair. If I remember correctly he had a crush on Vicky before his family left. Maybe his feelings come rushing back.

I raise my eyebrow at him when he looks at me and turns into a pink color on his cheeks. I smile teasingly at him and he glares at me.

We all sit down and I wrap my arms around Elle. I think she also notices how Darren is looking at Vicky. I mean it's like a sixth sense girl has. They know exactly when a boy looks at another girl especially, but they can't see it when it happens to themselves. So Vicky is clueless about this of course.

"How have you guys been?" Darren asks.

We start to tell him our own stories. Elle tells him all about her mother and the twins, and that we took them in and everything that's to it. And that the twins have been here for three weeks now.

I tell him that I joined the army and everything that’s included in my story, which really isn’t that much. I joined the army, the end.

Vicky tells him that she has been taking care of Vicky for the past six months before I came back. And that just focused on school before she finished.

"You really joined the army?" Darren asks surprised.

I nod. "Yeah I did", I say. "Don't ask me why, because really I don't know why".

Darren is two years older than us three, so that makes him twenty-two. He moved when he was seventeen and we were fifteen so obviously, he didn't know about me being a soldier.

We sit here and talk for a very long time.

Elle

I don't know how long we're sitting here talking to each other. Feels cliché to say, but I completely loose track of time.

I notice how Darren is looking at Madge and I smile to myself. It would be absolutely perfect if they got together.

Cody's phone rings.

"Cody speaking", he answers.

Suddenly he tenses and sits up straight, he avoids looking me in the eyes.

"No sir. Yes sir. Yes sir. Right away sir. Yes sir", then the call ends.

Cody is pale on his face.

"That was my commander", he says. "I'm supposed to fly back to Afghanistan".

And that's when my world falls apart all over again. It feels like I’m going to be swallowed by a big black hole.

He's leaving? Leaving for Afghanistan? Again? He's been here for about a month and not even that and he's already leaving me?

"No", I cry. "No, you can't".

Cody wraps his arms around me. Trying to comfort me. But that doesn't help much, because the only thing I can think of is that I won't be in his arms anymore and that he might die.

"When?" Vicky asks horrified.

"In two hours from the airport", Cody says.

He's leaving today?

"But dude I just came home, you can't leave now!" Darren says upset.

"That's not up to me, I can't decide that", Cody says.

Oh my god. Cody’s mother! She's gonna be as crushed as me.

"Cody your mom", I whine.

"I need to go to the bakery", Cody says.

"I'll come along too, don't you dare leave me these two hours we have left", I say.

Cody smiles and takes my hand as we run out of Starbucks. We hear running steps behind us and see Darren and Vicky run after us.

"You ain't leaving us behind dude", Darren says when they reach us.

We get to the bakery and see that his brothers are there as well. That's right. It's Saturday and the bakery has been closed an hour already.

"What's wrong?" Cody’s father asks.

“I’m going back to Afghanistan”, Cody says and a tear run down my cheek.

I hear Cody’s mother scream. It’s heartbreaking to hear. A lot of people think of serving the army as a great honor and stuff. I guess, it’s a heroic thing, but frankly, I just want Cody to be home with me. That may be selfish, but I don’t want him to die.

“But you just came back”, his brother Rye says.

"It's not my thing to decide you guys", Cody says and kneels down beside me. "Elle please baby, don’t cry, it will make things harder for me to leave, you have to stay strong, please you just have to".

I feel another year flow down my cheek. I want to be strong, I do. But it’s so hard.

Cody’s father is comforting Mrs. Williams. She's crying on his shoulder. He's her baby, after all, Cody will always be her baby. But that’s a problem, that’s why he joined the army in the first place. Not particularly because of his mother, but because he was always seen as the baby of the family, and he didn’t like that.

Cody leaves my side to walk up to his mother. He hates seeing her cry.

"Mom please", Cody begs. "Please don't cry".

His mother grabs him and hugs him tight. His brothers hug them both and his father hugs them all.

It’s beautiful to see, but it makes me sadder, and I start crying more, Vicky takes a hold of me.

"Elle you can't break down like last time", she says. "Now you have the twins to take care of".

Oh my god. How are the twins gonna take this?

The family hug ends and everyone is crying Cody included.

"I need to pack", he mumbles as he walks up to me. "I promise I'll be back".

We leave the bakery and walk home. Cody takes out his big army bag and starts to pack it.

I watch him as he changes into his uniform. Not the suite he had when he first came. No this is the one he has on the field. It's all too true. I had hoped that this was a horrible dream. But when I pinch my arm and Cody continues to dress in his uniform, I know it's not.

Even if I'm against this, Cody is really handsome in his uniform.

I start to cry again. "Baby no, please don't cry", Cody begs and sits down on the bed beside me.

Darren and Vicky are in the living room waiting for us.

"What if you die?" I whimper, letting out my one big fear.

"No I won't let that happen to me", Cody says. "I promise that I'll be back, okay?"

"Okay", I whimper in a low voice and Cody kisses me.

I'm gonna miss those lips. I'm gonna miss Cody more than I can explain in words.

I don't want the next time we see each other to be by a casket. Where his body lies, with a note saying, "I'm sorry".

I don't know what to do. I only know that my paranoia was right. I was right to be paranoid. I knew that this would happen. And now it did.

Cody is going back to Afghanistan, and he may not return alive.