Destined for the pirate Beta

Secrets kept

*Raphael*

At the bottom of the steps, I nearly run into Anne’s maid. She is carrying a parasol, and a quick glance tells me that it's finely made. For her miss, then.

For the first time, I give the maid a closer inspection. She isn't a beauty, not like her mistress, but she possesses a prettiness that I suspect draws attention. And something else about her niggles at my mind. "Have we met before?"

"My brother, Jonathan Harper, served under you. He recommended your ship for the journey." She says, keeping her eyes down.

"And me along with it, I suppose." I say.

Her blush enhances the sparkle in her eyes. "He vowed you would not take advantage of Miss Anne."

"His vow is not mine to keep." I point out.

"But you won't take advantage, will you?" she asks with a stubborn set to her lips.

I sigh softly. "You are both safe from unwanted advances while aboard my ship."

She smiles, and I realize she is prettier than I initially thought.

"Jonathan's married now," she informs me, as though of a sudden we are friends.

"Yes, so he mentioned when he informed me that he would no longer be serving me. Seems his wife wanted to chain him to port." I mumble.

She smiles again. "They wanted to be together. I don't think that's so awful. He is very happy."

As well as a marvelous teller of tales with a tendency toward exaggeration. I now have an idea of who might have told Anne that I'm a hero. Jonathan doesn't believe in allowing facts to ruin a good story.

"He is employed by a merchant now, has a respectable income, and is quite settled," Martha continues on.

I fight not to shudder. I hire only unmarried men… not hard to find on the docks. During a storm, I don't want a man worrying that he might be leaving behind a widow. Most women don't understand wanderlust. In my experience, marriage and a life at sea are a volatile combination, leaving everyone unhappy. I certainly intend to never take a wife.

My uncle forced me to run. No one is ever going to force me into anything again.

When I reach my cabin, the first thing I notice is that it already smells of her, of Anne. Lavender and citrus mingle in the air. Everything is tidy, her trunk closed. I'm tempted to riffle through it, see what I can discover about her. It seems only fair.

Everything about me is visible to her. The books I enjoy. The sturdy furniture I prefer. The liquor I favor. The wooden chess set I have carved with my own hands. Even the globe I made for Tristan during my last voyage… a gift I haven't yet given to my brother because I'm not certain how it will be received.

Besides, it isn't exactly perfectly round. Rather, it's a lopsided view of the world that tends to roll until the north and south poles become the east and west poles. I need to make a proper stand for it. I will address that during my next voyage.

I spend an hour attempting to study my charts before returning topside. I want to see her again, but according to Jenkins, the breeze proved too much for her parasol. She and her maid have retreated below deck, to the cabin I had prepared for the servant.

I'm disappointed. I should have ensured that she understood she is always welcome in my cabin, even when I'm there. I imagine what it would be like to look up from my desk and see her sitting in a chair near one of the windows. Domestic. I shake off the thought. There is no room for domesticity aboard a ship.

I make my way to the quarterdeck. Mouse has cleared away all evidence that she was with me for breakfast. The lad is good at keeping things neat and tidy. I wonder if she finished eating the orange. I think I might never taste another without recalling the joy of her laughter as the juice burst forth, surprising her with its abundance.

I lean back against the railing and cross my arms over my chest. We have a strong wind filling the sails. We are making good time.

The home shore is no longer visible. We will reach the dark waters within a few days. I'm tempted to cause some damage to the ship that would require us to head to the nearest port for repairs. I want to walk through foreign cities with her, through crowded streets.

I want to wipe away whatever it is that is causing the sadness reflected in her eyes.

She is missing her fiancé, you dolt.

Not that much if she agreed to give me a kiss.

So much that she was willing to kiss you in order to get to him.

If I were an honorable man, I would take her there without claiming the kiss… all in the name of true love. Mary would expect it of me. Which is the reason I haven't told her more about my journey. She wouldn't approve. Not that I care for her approval.

I suspect I might be a very different man if I hadn't been forced to leave my home, to leave Snow Moon castle... to leave my home lands. I grew to manhood very quickly.

I have tried to return to what had been… to being a bet, to living within pack Society, among peers. But I don't belong there, any more than Tristan does.

Stephan has no choice. He holds the title, but I am free to return to the life I love, to the sea. And I do love it. The smell of the briny water, the rocking of the ship, the tickling of the wind. I enjoy the camaraderie among my men. I would die for them and yet something is still missing.

I shift my gaze over to Peter as he comes to stand beside me.

"You are going to a lot of trouble to get beneath a woman's skirts," Peter says.

"I'm paying you well enough not to complain about it." I huff.

He shakes his head lightly. "She's different. You could hurt her."

"I'm not going to hurt her." I point out.

He looks at me. "Not intentionally maybe, but it can still happen."

"When did you become a bloody philosopher?" I ask.

"Your mistake in teaching me to read." He says with a shrug.

I grin. I teach any man who wants to learn. Mouse is my latest pupil, making great progress.

"You know the maid is Jonathanny's sister," Peter murmurs.

"So I discovered this morning." I admit.

He gives me a stern look. "He sent them to you knowing you would protect them."

"His mistake." I say with a shrug.

"Sam, she's of the High packs." He says.

So am I, but my men don't know it. When Stephan caught the offered pouch, the clinking of the coins inside signaled the severing of my bloodlines. None of my men know the truth of my origins.

Not even when I returned to shore and helped establish my older brother's place in pack Society I told them, I keep my two distinct lives separate. With a foot in both worlds, I wonder if I might be in danger of losing my balance.

"Relax, Peter. I have never yet incurred a woman's wrath." I tell him.

He sighs and shakes his head. "There's always a first time, Captain."