Helping my crush

Chapter thirteen - Breakdown

Bella's POV:

The weekend was good. Chris decided to spend it with me. Well, he went home to sleep. In the beginning, I wasn't very pleased, but I quickly adjusted. I knew that even if I told him, he wouldn't go home. I'm glad that he stayed here. It was good for me to have some time for myself. I know that I need to go out more often, but I don't have that much time. I could easily have done it, but we wouldn't be where we are now. I mean that someone needs to take care of everything. My sister can't do it because she is still young. Also, I want her to have a normal childhood. I won't even ask dad. He won't do it either. The only one who left was me. It's not like I am complaining. If I have to be honest, sometimes I am proud of myself. I learned to do many things at a young age, and I know that in the future, I won't have problems. Now I have Chris. It's not like I will use him to help me. I won't let him do anything. After all, I am a capable girl. I can take care of Emily and my dad. Also, to do everything else. Someone will say that I missed my teenage years. To be honest, I'm not sorry at all. Seeing what all the teenagers do, makes me happy that I am not one of them. Also, taking care of my sister will help me if I decide to have kids. That is still far away, but sometimes experience is a good thing. I hope that I can have more.

Sadly, the weekend ended, and I had to go back to school. Can't I have a vacation? I won't rest anyway. I got up and went to get ready. I made my bed and got dressed. Luckily, I am not one of the people who take hours to decide what to wear. I don't have time to waste. When I was ready, I went to make breakfast. To my surprise, dad was already up. He was in the kitchen. I don't know what is going on with him, but he seems upset. I will gladly ask him what the problem is, but I don't think he will tell me.

I finished making breakfast and went to wake up Emily. She likes to sleep until very late, but on school days, this can't happen. Soon she was ready and came to the table. She looked at dad and then at me. I only shrugged my shoulders. I have no idea what is going on with him. He is not even drinking. I would be happy if he decided to change, but I don't think this is the problem.

- Dad, are you ok?

- What?

- I asked if you were ok. You look upset.

- I'm fine.

- Are you sure?

- Yes!

- Ok, don't get mad. Here, take some food.

- I don't want to eat.

- But you have to. Dad, you can't stay hungry.

He didn't say anything and walked away. At least this time, he was at home. I left Emily to eat and went to check on him. It's visible that he has a problem. I don't know why he doesn't want to share with me. I won't judge him for anything. When I walked into his room, I found him laying on the bed. I didn't say anything and laid next to him. He only looked at me.

- You can tell me if there is a problem. I will help you.

- You don't need to know everything. Now, go to school.

- I still have time. Can I stay here with you for a while?

- As long as you don't talk with me.

- Ok. I will do whatever you want.

I stayed with dad until I had to go to school. I left Emily and walked to mine. Chris was waiting for me in front of my locker. I walked up to him, and he didn't move until I hugged him. It's not like I mind, but I prefer to do this when no one is watching. I don't want Jessy to see this.

- Hey, are you ok?

- Not really. Something is going on with dad, but I don't know what. He doesn't want to tell me.

- Maybe you have to give him some time.

- Well, now he is alone. The weirdest thing was that he didn't drink anything in the morning.

- When did he come home last night?

- It was around midnight.

- Did he talk with someone?

- I don't know. Why?

- I think that someone has told him something.

- Dad doesn't care about these things. There is something else.

- Like what?

- I don't know.

- Will you mind if I come home with you?

- No, I would love it.

- I can tell mom to get the girls again.

- Why are you trying to get rid of my sister?

- I'm not. I just want you to have free time.

- Let's say that I believe you. - I said, and he laughed

Both of us walked to class together. Jessy was in this one. She quickly pulled Chris to sit next to her. I didn't do anything and went to sit somewhere else. After all, he is only my friend. The funny thing was that he left her and came to sit next to me. I'm sure that she will get mad at me, but, in my defense, I had nothing to do with that. After this class, we walked into the hall. The coach called Chris, and he had to go. In that moment, Jessy came.

- Hey. Can I help you?

- I don't know what you are doing, but you better stop. Chris is the most popular boy in school, and I am the most popular girl here. People want to see us together, so go away, or I will make you.

- You can't force anyone to do what you want. Moreover, I won't tell Chris what to do. He is old enough to make decisions by himself.

- Be careful. The crown will be mine.

- What crown?

- Prom.

- There is enough time until prom, at least five months.

- I won't let you be his queen. I will be.

- Ok. I don't care. I probably won't even come.

- He is mine.

- No, I'm not.

Both of us turned around and saw Chris. When did he come? I won't lie that this is a bit funny. The so-called queen was rejected by the king. That will be interesting to watch. Chris told her a couple of things, and she stormed off. It wasn't very nice, but she deserved it. That is what you get for treating people badly.

- I'm sorry about her.

- It's ok. I don't mind.

The rest of the school day we spent together. Later, Chris and I walked home. Emily is probably in his house. I walked in and saw dad's shoes. That means that he is at home. Did he even go out? I am starting to think he got depressed, but I don't know from what or who? Emily and I don't bother him at all. I looked at my friend, who gave me a sad smile.

- Dad, are you at home?

No answer. I went into my room to leave my backpack. Chris did the same, and later both of us walked to my dad's room. I knocked to make sure that he knew that I was at home. There was no answer again. I walked in and saw him on the floor. On the nightstand, there was a picture of him and my mom. He never takes them out. I took the picture and saw a marker. I removed it from the frame and read what was written. Happy anniversary. That is why he is in a bad mood. Today he has an anniversary with my mom. I quickly walked up to him. He looked like he had been crying. I have never seen him like that.

- Dad, are you ok?

He didn't say anything and looked at me. His eyes were red. I feel bad for him. I wish that I could do something. More than anything, I want to bring mom back, but I can't. No one can.

- Dad, what is going on with you? Are you upset because of mom?

- She left me.

- She didn't leave you. Mom is right here. - I said and pointed to his heart

- No, she left me two days before our tenth anniversary.

- Dad, she didn't leave you. Mom is always with you, and she would like it if you become the person you used to be, to who she got married 18 years ago.

- This is not true. If your mom wasn't dead, I wasn't going to be who I am.

- You are wrong. You chose to be this person. Dad, why don't you want to talk with me? You know that I will help you.

- Because you look like her.

- What do I have to do about this? It's not my fault that I look like mom. Is this why you don't like me? Because I remind you of her.

Silence. I didn't say anything else and hugged him. Sometimes no words are needed. I know he still loves her, but he has to move on. I can't keep watching him like that. It's more than enough that I have already lost one parent. I don't want to lose another one. I try to do everything for him, but he doesn't want to do anything. It's like he completely gave up.

- Dad, you can't give up. I need you. It might look like I am doing everything well, but this is not true. Like every normal person, I am struggling. Please, don't give up. I know that you can do much more than now. I believe in you. Mom is already gone. I don't want to lose you. Please, do it for me. I don't want anything else from you. Only to stay with me. - I said with tears in my eyes

Soon I felt hands wrapped around me and looked up to see Chris. I won't lie that I wish that it was dad. He was supportive, but now, I don't think he knows what this means. I can't blame him. He is never sober. Except for today. If he wasn't, he would've been mad at me for mentioning mom. I love dad so much, but sometimes I feel like I can't do anything to help him.

- Mister Evens, Bella is right. You are still young to give up. Think about her. Don't you want your daughter to have an ordinary life?

- She already has it.

- Are you sure? No teenager should go through the same things as her. She doesn't deserve it. As her parent, you have to help her. She counts on you. Don't give up. Not now.

I won't lie that hearing Chris talking like that to my dad makes me happy. I hope that he will listen to him. I want dad to be normal again, but it depends on him.

- Dad, Chris is right. Please. Do something for me.

- There is no point. You are doing everything better than me. Just like your mom.

- But this doesn't mean that I don't need help.

- Look, I want to be alone.

- But, dad.

- Please.

- Let's go, Bella. Later, we'll talk with him.

Chris and I walked back into my room. I looked at him, but he didn't say anything. Instead, I received a hug. I'm glad to have a friend like him. He kissed the top of my head, which made me smile.

- Soon, everything will be ok. I promise you.

- I hope that you are right.

- I am.

- Chris?

- Yes.

- Thank you. For everything.

- For you always.

Chris stayed at home until dinner. I offered my friend to eat with us, but he said his parents were waiting for him. Maybe the next time he will be here. Dad is not getting any better. He might stop drinking, but this will only be for today. Tomorrow, he will start again. I don't know what to do with him. It's visible he needs help, but how can I help him when he doesn't want people to tell him what to do. That is called advice, but I don't think he makes the difference. Dad is not ok, but I can't do anything. I hope that in the future, things will change.