Thirty Nights Forgotten

Chapter 31: The Arrangement

Addy’s POV

I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the things I witnessed last night, and what I learned about Elijah – and myself.

Perhaps he was right about me, and maybe I do like to watch. Although, I think it was more what I was watching that had a profound impact on me, making me realize what I truly want to experience for myself sexually. In a way, I feel liberated in my thoughts, free to explore what it is that I want without judgment from Elijah.

At dinner, I can feel his intense gaze studying me carefully as I eat my meal. The pickled fish hasn’t grown on me at all, but I don’t have the heart to tell him that, so instead I take a couple of small bites to be polite.

“You haven’t said a word all evening, Annabelle.”

“I just have a lot on my mind, I guess. Last night was…eye-opening.”

“I could tell you were enjoying yourself,” he growls, a small grin appearing at the corners of his mouth. “Especially as you came undone at my touch.”

Heat begins to rise to my cheeks at his words, and it gives me the perfect segue into what I wanted to ask him tonight.

“I think…I think I want to try that, too.”

“Try what, my darling?”

Leaning closer toward Elijah, I glance around, making sure that none of the servants are within earshot.

“The threesome.”

His smile immediately dissipates, melting into an expression of complete disbelief as his eyes grow wide. I bite my lip, waiting for him to tell me that it’s wrong to want anyone but him.

What will he think about bringing a third person into our bed, and in front of so many people? Given what I saw last night, I figured he would be open to the idea, perhaps even eager, but maybe I read him wrong. What if he doesn’t want to share his mate with someone else?

After the initial shock wears off, his face begins to relax, and an impish grin spreads across his face. There’s a mischievous glint in his eye as he studies me, and a low chuckle rumbles deep in his chest.

“Nothing would please me more.”

A sigh of relief escapes my throat, and I didn’t even realize I’d been holding my breath the entire time I waited for him to speak. But when he tells me he wants to share this experience with me, my heart begins to race with excitement.

Elijah and I are on the same page sexually, and we’re finally going to start exploring the depths of our mate bond. How far can we go together?

“I’ll make the arrangements for tomorrow night,” he says huskily. “I look forward to it.”

***

The anticipation is killing me, and my stomach has been doing nervous flips all day.

After all, this is the first time that Elijah and I will be going all the way together. Up until now, we’ve only ever touched each other, but tonight we’re going to finally become one – with the added bonus of an additional person.

Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself with this whole threesome thing. Shouldn’t Elijah and I come together first before bringing in a third? And I’m still not sure how I feel about taking my clothes off in front of an audience.

There are so many emotions going through my head as my nerves grow stronger with each passing minute. The day seems to drag on slowly, which only allows me to torture myself as I’m left alone with my thoughts and feelings about how tonight’s going to go. One minute I’m prepared to back out, and then the next I’m full of resolve and determination to do this.

Sayah brings my dinner to my room, along with a handwritten note from Elijah.

Apologies that I am unable to join you for dinner. Royal duties are keeping me preoccupied, but I cannot wait to see you tonight. – Elijah

P.S. Wear this.

Sayah removes a gift box from the dinner cart and sets it on the coffee table in front of me. My whole body is shaking with pent-up nerves in anticipation for tonight, so it takes me a moment to fiddle with the ribbon and the wrappings.

Inside the box, hidden beneath layers of tissue paper, is a pile of lace. As I pull it out to hold it in front of me, I realize it’s a navy blue lingerie set made entirely of lace. There’s a bustier and matching suspender belt, along with sheer stockings and a pair of heels.

I definitely notice that there’s nothing to cover me down there, but I suppose that’s the whole point.

Too nervous to eat, I head into the bathroom to change, and I’m surprised to find the lingerie fits like a glove. Glancing into the mirror, I can’t help but feel sexy while wearing it, especially with the effort I put into my tousled hair and dark, seductive makeup. It helps me feel a little less nervous about tonight, but it doesn’t make my anxiousness go away entirely.

Obviously, I can’t go walking through the castle like this, so I grab a silk robe from the closet before it’s time to leave. Without a word, Sayah leads me out of my room and down the stairs, taking me down the familiar corridors of the castle to Elijah’s secret theater.

When I enter the room, the guests are already seated, and every head turns to look at me as I step inside. My heels hit the carpeted rug beneath my feet as I spot Elijah sitting on our same loveseat, waiting for me with a wickedly naughty smirk on his face.

“Annabelle, welcome,” he smiles, rising to his feet. He wraps his arm around me to give me a passionate kiss, which makes my head spin with desire as I fight the nerves in my stomach.

“Are we going to watch another performance first?” I ask, noticing him taking his seat.

“No, you’re up, my darling. Take off your robe. We all want to admire your beautiful body.”

I stare at him in confusion, clutching the robe around me as a strange feeling starts to set in.

“I’m not sure I’m ready to strip down by myself,” I answer quietly.

“Ah, of course, how inconsiderate of me. I’m sure this is all very new for you. Let’s bring the other partners in, please.”

The sound of a side door opening behind me catches my attention, and I turn around to see a naked man enter the room, followed by a woman in a similar set of lingerie as what I’m wearing. As they approach me, my mind slowly begins to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Let me help you with that,” the woman says, running her hands slowly up my arms. Her fingertips lead a trail up to the opening of my robe, where she pulls it open and exposes me to the rest of the room, letting the silk fall to the floor.

Instinctively, I move my hands to try and cover my bare skin, shrinking my shoulders inward to make myself appear as small as possible.

“Elijah,” I whisper, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“What misunderstanding, my darling?”

“I, uh, thought that you would be doing this with me. And not with another girl.”

“Me?” he snorts. “No, I only watch. You’re the exhibitionist; you’ve always loved having the attention all on you. Isn’t that why you asked to do this?”

“No, I thought we would be doing this together. And it would be me with two men, just like how it was the other night.”

“Me with another man in bed? Ha! No, I don’t like the idea of having my c**k so close to another.”

The room fills with snickering as the other guests seem to find this all very amusing. Meanwhile, I’m standing here with my ass hanging out for everyone to laugh at, realizing that I’m supposed to be f****d by two strangers – including another woman.

“But…wouldn’t this be cheating on you?”

I’m grasping at straws here, but I really don’t want to do this without Elijah. Even though I was apparently a wild, uninhibited exhibitionist in my former life, I’m definitely not now.

“Mates only feel pain when their mate betrays them,” Elijah explains with a casual shrug. “But this is consensual. I want to see you get f****d by these two while you look me in the eyes. That is what turns me on, Annabelle. I’m sure if you tried it, you’d enjoy yourself immensely. Just like before.”

I can feel hot tears stinging my eyes as I look up at the other guests. They all nod in agreement as though they’ve seen me do this before, like it’s no big deal. But to me, it is a big deal, and I don’t want to do this. Not like this.

“This isn’t me,” I whisper desperately. “Please, don’t make me do this.”

“Of course, this is you, Annabelle. Imagine all of us jerking off to the sight of you being f****d, being in the center of attention as the most beautiful creature in this room. If the other woman is making you jealous, I’m happy to send her away. Would you prefer a second man?”

“I’d prefer you.”

Elijah lets out a sigh in frustration, rubbing his temples.

“s*x means something to me, and I want to share it with you,” I implore him. “I don’t remember having s*x before, so for me, this is sort of my first time. And I want that to be with you.”

As the tears stream down my cheeks, I can feel everyone’s eyes on me, on my body, and I feel completely vulnerable and exposed. Elijah is clearly losing his patience, and this isn’t at all how I imagined tonight going.

Why would he want to watch me be f****d by complete strangers if we’re mated?

“The show is over,” Elijah announces. “Everyone is dismissed.”

Slowly, the rest of the guests rise to their feet, shuffling out of the room. My two “partners” for the evening depart through a side door, leaving me and Elijah all alone in the quiet space.

“Why are you behaving like this, Annabelle?”

Grabbing the robe off the floor, I pull it tightly around my body as I hug myself, shielding myself from Elijah’s accusing tone.

“This isn’t what I wanted!” I sob softly. “I wanted to share what we saw the other night with you. Why would you want to watch me have s*x with somebody else?”

“Because that is what turns me on, Annabelle,” he says coldly. “I have specific needs, as I’ve already explained to you.”

“You almost f****d me the night of the ball, in the hallway, where anyone could have watched us!” I argue. “So, why don’t we do that?”

“That’s different. That’s the possibility of someone finding us, not putting on a performance for a room full of people.”

“Well, I’m just as uncomfortable with ‘performing’ as you are!”

“You were never like this before!” Elijah shouts, rising to his feet. I take a few steps away from him as he begins to pace the room in frustration, running his hands through his hair. “Why can’t things just be the way they used to be? The old you would have loved having all eyes in the room on you, admiring their beautiful luna! But you, you’re…”

He lets out a growl of frustration as he pins me with an icy look of disappointment. It’s like he’s looking at a stranger, like I’m completely unrecognizable to him.

Like I’m not his fated mate.

I can’t stand to have him look at me that way, and soon I realize my feet are leading me from the room. Bursting through the door, my heels clack loudly against the stone floor as I flee down the maze of corridors, and I’m not even sure if I’m heading in the right direction.

All I know is I have to get out of here. I don’t know where I belong, but it’s not here with the Ice Moon Pack. The way they laughed at my naked body tonight as I begged my mate not to make me do those things for them…I don’t fit in.

I’m just their entertainment, putting on a sick show with my body for their pleasure. For Elijah’s pleasure.

I pass a few servants in one of the corridors, who look at me with alarm as I sprint past, keeping the robe tied firmly around me. I hate the feeling of their eyes on me; it makes my skin crawl.

Suddenly, I find myself bursting into the kitchens, although it seems as though everyone has retired for the evening. There’s a man unloading crates of potatoes at the back door, and he glances up at me in surprise when I approach.

“Do you have a carriage?” I demand breathlessly, glancing over my shoulder.

“I came here with my horse and a cart.”

“Can you give me a ride? Wherever you’re headed, I’ll go.”

With a shrug, he nods and points to the small, wooden cart attached to his horse outside, and I dart quickly over toward it. The cart is empty with the exception of some loose straw and burlap sacks, so I grab one and throw it over myself like a blanket.

Once he’s finished unloading his delivery, he gets back onto his horse and wheels us away from the castle, which slowly grows smaller and smaller as we head down the forest road.

I have no idea what waits for me in this forest, and I don’t ever recall a time when I didn’t live within the confines of the castle walls. Even though I don’t know what’s waiting for me out there, all I know is that I need to put some distance between Elijah and me.

I need space to think about our mate bond – and what it even means.