I startle awake when someone slaps me across the face. My eyes are open, but nothing around me is registering.
A bedroom. Not my bedroom, and not a hotel room.
I get another smack, making me turn to look at my assailant. A toothless baby stares back at me, smiling and drooling.
Last night comes back to me. We didn't have s*x once. We didn't have it twice. No, we woke up two more times and ended up having s*x three times. And it was all f*****g fantastic. Even when we were half asleep.
I shouldn't think about that kind of thing with a baby staring at me. That's kind of creepy, even for me.
"Hey, kid," I say. He really is a cute kid. "What are you doing in bed? Aren't you supposed to be in your crib?"
He waves his naked arms and legs excitedly, like he's swimming. He's wearing nothing
