Takip Silip

xiv. Pumapalabing apat

Aurora has been staring at the ceiling for a minute . . . or hours? Time doesn’t seem to exist in where she is right now. It’s too light as a feather. Feeling like almost heaven. Elli moved a bit, pulling her much more closer to her body. Siniksik pa ang ulo nito sa leeg niya. She can feel her lips, her warm breath, and her existence makes her heart melt. An unfamiliar feeling. It was ticklish but she didn’t dare to move so she couldn’t wake her up. Wala rin siyang lakas para gumalaw. Gusto niya na lang habang buhay naroroon. 

The sunshine is slightly peeking from the window as if it is guarding them and the cold temperature from the AC makes everything perfect. Cozy. If she would describe this feeling in one word, it’s her idea of home. Pagkatapos mag-saya sa concert, nandito siya ngayon sa lugar na kung saan siya kumportable at ligtas. P'wedeng pwede siya maging kahit sino. Hindi niya maalala kung naramdaman niya na ba ang pakiramdam na 'to pero importante pa ba 'yun? She doesn't remember anything about her past but agony and cries. But now, everything seems so light. Free. Safe and sound. For the first time of her life, she does not feel suffocated. Pero alam niyang matatapos agad ang lahat kapag tumayo siya ng kama at umuwi kung saan ba talaga siya nanggagaling. 

Everything is becoming too fast for her. It’s terrifying. 

She should be at peace right now. Sleeping, safe and sound but here she is wondering, when this is going to end? How long will this peace take, until where? How much damage can it affect once it is gone? 

She hugged Elli, so tight, and closed her eyes to feel her own heartbeat. Elli unconsciously brushes her hair. She felt another butterfly again. Somehow everything became so quiet and even her thoughts were speechless. 

If they could, she doesn't want to leave this place and go back again and again to the concert. Drink. Have fun. Roll over the fake grasses. Hold hands like they are lovers. Be pretentious. For once, she wants to feel feelings she hadn't felt before. More than the alcohol and cigarettes. She wants to feel something more. Vulnerability? She wanted to get lost and the presence of Elli makes her want it more. An overflowing happiness for hours makes it addicting. She’s addicted. Her another form of drugs. Is it too early to finally say she’s happy? She’s falling in love with the idea. Is it enough to say she's safe or she wants to convince herself that there is someone she can hold on to. 

She guesses, thoughts just don’t stop whispering. 

Lalayo na sana si Aurora dahil nagising ito sa pagkakatulog pero hinila siya ni Elli papalapit at hinagod ang kanyang likod, “Ayoko pang umuwi,” bulong niya sa tenga niya na nagbigay kilabot at kiliti sa kanya. Why does she always feel butterflies whenever Elli talks like she knows what she is thinking? Maybe she feels the same way she does. She surrendered. Aurora fit herself in her arms like a puzzle piece.  

“Can’t we just stay here?” Aurora pleads, being more comfortable knowing that Elli doesn’t want to leave too. She scooped her to be more comfortable. And oh, god, she is.

“Do you want to?”  

“Can we?” Elli kissed her forehead and nodded. 

Nananatili sila sa ganung posisyon. Mahigpit ang yakap sa isa’t isa. Masiyadong komportable na alam niyang gulat rin si Elli sa nararamdaman nilang dalawa. Ramdam nito sa hindi pantay nitong paghinga. They are not lovers yet honestly it feels more than that pero hindi pa sila matagal na magkakilala. Is it possible? 

“Bakit pakiramdam ko matagal na tayong magkasama tapos lagi tayong ganito?” Elli asked, “masiyadong comfy.”  Aurora shrugged like she doesn't know what Elli is talking about. “Ganito ba pakiramdam kapag ano . . . soulmate?” 

“Gano’n ba ‘yun?” Hindi niya alam kung nagbibiro ba ito o seryoso or she’s just scared to admit that she's feeling the exact thing? 

“Kung hindi, isipin na lang na’tin na gano’n.” Numipis ang labi ni Elli sa ngiti. Sinabi niya ‘yun para i-assure ang sarili. But Aurora nods. If it doesn’t feel that way, what’s the point of being there? 

Why am I here again? Oh, she remembered, they are together for art purposes but all they do is hug each other. Elli can’t just write that in a chapter right?

What can Aurora do to spice their day? 

It was silent and Aurora is thinking about what she could do for today. Not just that, gusto niya iparamdam kay Elli kung gaano siya nagpapasalamat. The concert, her first concert!, this cozy feeling, and the excitement. It’s been a long time she felt this or did she ever? 

Tahimik at tanging aircon lang ang naririnig nila. Ang tanging mainit na yakap lang nila sa isa’t isa ang tanging nararamdaman nila. Habang si Aurora nagiisip kung ano bang magagawa niya na ikatutuwa ni Elli. Naalala niya ang mga reklamo nito tungkol sa mga cliche na nobela, ang reklamo nito at pagtatanong kung ano ang pakiramdam nito sapagkat kahit kailan hindi niya ito naranasan. 

Siguro, makakaya niyang iparamdam kahit kaunti ang mga nasa nobela. 

In one second, Aurora is fixing Elli’s hair gently and carefully. Talagang ginaanan niya at maalaga ang pag-ayos niya sa buhok nito upang malaman kung ano ang pinararating niya. Today, she wants to take care of Elli the way she never do to someone. Inayos nito ang kumot niya at siksik na parang bata pagkatapos ay hinalikan sa pisngi. Nagulat si Elli sa mga aksyon niya. 

Maalaga. Marahan. Maingat. Nakakapanibago.

Ngiti lang ang sinagot niya sa kanya, “Anong gusto mong kainin?” tila pabulong at may kiliti sa tenga habang inaayos pa rin ang buhok niya, “Do you want something? I’ll cook for you.” Gustong tumawa ni Aurora nang marinig ang sarili niyang boses. Pati siya ay hindi sanay sa nagiingat ang kanyang boses. Masiyadong malambot. Pero nakukuha niya ba ang gusto niyang makuhang imahe? ‘Yung mga cliche na teen fiction na nobela peg.

“Kaldereta?” sumobra naman ang hinihiling na ulam niya. Aurora gave an apologetic smile. 

“I can’t cook Kaldereta kasi wala tayong ingredients rito.  I promise I will cook Kaldereta for you pagkauwi natin, okay?” and she played with Elli’s hair like a kid. Her eyes glittered that made Aurora smile. She’s achieving it! 

“Okay. San Marino tuna?” Aurora nodded and kissed her forehead before standing up to prepare their food. Sana kahit papaano ay may delata kung nasaan man sila ngayon, “You are acting weird, A.” despite being happy with Aurora’s action there are mixed of confusion and questions. Hindi sanay sa mga kinikilos nito at gayundin naman si Aurora. Aurora flashed a smile.

Well. That’s the fun of it. They are both new to this. 

Maybe the highest heard her prayers. May San Marino tuna. She cooked it with rice. Lumabas si Elli ng kwarto at umupo sa mini sala. She can feel her gaze from her behind. It's ticklish. 

"Have you ever cooked for someone?" she asked. Aurora tried to remember.

"For Mia?" since Mia doesn't know how to cook. 

"For Mia lang?" Aurora nodded, "Ayoko." She prepared their food and walked to Elli. 

"Anong ayaw?" 

"May paglulutuang iba." Aurora chuckled and caressed her cheeks. 

"You must own me first." almost a whisper. Tumaas ang kilay ni Elli. 

"I still don't?" 

"Do you?" balik na tanong ni Aurora. Nagaasar. Mula sa maamong mata ni Elli ay napalitan ito ng inis. 

"After you screamed my name? I still don't?" she tantrums and made Aurora laughed. Seryoso ba siya? Oh god, baka mainis ng tuluyan at masira ang plano niyang good chapter moments. She kissed her lips, a smack, but deep and longer. 

Natulala si Elli. Blushing. 

"Why'd you kissed me so sudden?" 

"Why not, my possessive handsome beautiful rich woman?" she cringed. 

"Kadiri."