Takip Silip

xi. Pumapanglabing-isa

"Edi d'yan ka muna?" sabi ni Mia sa kabilang linya. Napabuntong hininga si Aurora. Nag-aalala. Ayaw niya man iwan ang kaibigan na mag-isa pero kinakailangan, "ayos lang naman ako rito. Ikaw, ayos ka lang ba d'yan?" dagdag niya. She looked at Elli who's cooking for their breakfast, "S'yempre, ayos ka lang d'yan," nang-aasar. Kahit magkalayo sila ramdam ni Mia ang pagikot ng mata nito. Natawa siya, "Okay, whatever. Ingat ka, sis." 

"Mag-ingat ka rin."

"Duh. Ako pa ba? Ikaw ha. Baka bumalik ka rito na buntis ka na," biro niya, "joke, saan mabubuntis? Sorry, sorry. My bad." bawi niya pagtapos ay malakas na tawa. Kung p'wede lang ihagis ang phone na hawak niya kaso hindi ito sa kanya. Ugh, now she felt guilty. Todo tangi pa siya kay Mia kung anong mayroon sa kanila ni Elli but look at her, inside her unit and add more details. 

"Tanga ka? Bye bye na nga." her defense.

"Bye, Pikon! Nyenyenye," at binaba niya na ang tawag bago pa humaba ang pangaasar nito sa kanya. Masiyado na siyang nahihiya para sasarili niya. Bumalik siya sa sala at kumain ng bagong lutong fish crackers. Nakakainis! Pero di niya pa rin maiwasang magaalala. Alam niyang pagbalik niya ay makalat nanaman roon. O, kaya kung kumakain ba? Paniguradong puro take out nanaman. 

"Ano raw sabi?" tanong ni Elli. May dala itong tray. Naroroon ang plato ng—ano 'yan? d**o? Napasimangot si Aurora. Hindi siya mahilig sa gulay! Napansin ni Elli ang pagkunot ng noo nito, "ayaw mo?" napatigil tuloy ito sa paglapag sa lamesa.

"Wala pa akong sinasabi." sagot na lang ni Aurora nang makita ang nagaalalang mukha ni Elli. Pa'no kung ayaw niya? P'wedeng hindi kainin? Nakakahiya naman kung hindi. Kaya kumuha na siya ng tinidor at kahit ayaw, sige. Nguya. At sa laging gawain ni Elli kapag may hinahanda siya, naghihintay ito ng reaksyon. Nagkunwaring masaya ang mukha ni Aurora, "first time ako makakain ng masarap nito?" masarap naman kasi talaga—kung iba ang titikim paniguradong mauubos agad ito pero hindi para sa kanya. 

"Di nga?" umupo si Elli at tinikman rin ang gawa, "Ang sarap nga." Aurora chuckled. Elli seems happy about it. Buti naman. Hays. Hindi niya alam pa’no magiging kumportable ngayong bigla-biglang sumasagi sa isip niya na nandyan siya, magkatabi sila, ang kagabi. Hindi lang ‘yun. What Elli witnessed the night.

Naalala niya, wala na pala siyang pera.

"Di ba? Sabi ko sa'yo e." before she gets drowned by her thoughts, Elli played an indie spanish movie. She offered her another milo with straw para madali siyang makainom. And time by time, feed her fish crackers. She doesn’t have to move, she doesn’t have the energy to do so, and the movie was nice enough for her to be distracted. She’d considered it was one of the greatest movie she'd ever watched. It's about two artists, a choreographer and a dancer. May linya roon kung saan tinanong ang dancer kung pa'no sila tumagal ng asawa nito. She said, 'artists needed to be complimented, a lot.' She gets it. She wondered how it works for artists and non-artist? They don't understand. They don't see it. 'Maybe, that's where I lack', the lady answered who had a musician lover. She thinks artists are narcissistic that have to be feed everyday, to keep them alive. Isn’t self consuming to the other person? She wondered, are they hard to love? She tried to engage herself in the movie than her actual issues. She could think about it later, right? She wants a little rest. Kahit saglit.

"Date tayo?" out of blue. Nagulat si Aurora. Pinanood niya ang pagtayo ni Elli, ang pagpagpag nito sa pajama nitong puno ng nakakalat na fish crackers. She looked at Aurora, waiting for her answer, as if she have a choice to say no, “Ano? Tara.” but fear eats up Aurora before she could even answer. What if Kuya Ulysses sees them outside? Paano kung sundan rin ito hanggang rito? What could he do more? He could still money from her, hurt her. Ano pang p'wede nitong gawin?

Elli sensed Aurora worries on her eyes. Pumasok ito sa k'warto, sa paglabas ay magdalang shade and wig?  What? Saan galing 'yan?

"Ano 'yan?" duro ni Aurora sa hawak niya. Elli flashed an obvious-ba? smile at tinaas ang wig para makita niya ng maayos. Oo, alam niyang wig 'yan pero, "bakit ka may ganyan?" is she planning to let Aurora wear a wig sa labas? Para hindi makilala?

"Walang pakilaman kung bakit ako may ganito. Suotin mo 'to para hindi ka makilala sa labas?" more like a question. Elli is looking for a solution. She stared at the blonde wig. Does she have to wear that to be safe to go outside? Gaano kadelikado ang buhay niya na kailangan niya pa mag disguised para makalakad ng payapa sa labas? And to know that her family is the one who's giving this threats and fear is .... she doesn't know what to react. Kailangan ba talaga lumabas? Can't we just stay here? Since she moved in Mia's unit, everyone is trying their best to help her, to distract her. How critical is her situation that people have to do  everything for her? 

She's a human black-hole, sucking the lives of people around her. 

She smiled at Elli, genuinely. She was sorry. Naalala niya ang kagabi, the scene in pantry, the missed calls and text na hindi niya pa tinitignan, and all of that. She done it because she doesn't know what do. She was confused. Running away. And her friends are patience for her, accepting her. Even those people she met at night, and those who admired her, her fans. Is she taking advantage of everyone? Elli is taking care of her. Why everyone is letting her to take advantage of them? She didn't want all of this, the mess, her chaos. 

She was sorry for Elisa, the mark in her neck that Elli pointed out but she doesn't seem to care. She was sorry, but, she needed it. 

Aurora took the wig from her Elli's hand. Humarap sa salamin na malapit sa TV. Wore it. She looked good in long blonde hair. Fits her so well. Elli smiled at the side of the mirror.

"You look gorgeous!" she said, enthusiastic. Aurora fixed the fake hair to the back of her ear. Maybe, she could consider bleaching her hair after school year. Halos tumaas ang balahibo ni Aurora nang yakapin siya nito sa likod. She was staring at Aurora's eye sa salamin, "I never knew you're this pretty," a whisper in her hear. They were staring at each other. Her emotions are eating her up. No one, ever, in her life said those words to her, "Let me take you away?" 

Aurora nodded. 

Please. 

.