Taste of Poison

Kabanata 30

Truth

"Okay?" I said nervously.

Their faces were all serious as the silence invaded the whole room. Meanwhile, I just stood there feeling nervous and confused. Talk about what?

And why is Tito still here? It's not like I don't want him to stay but, Tita Anna's gone. Azar might be his son, but he still need to at least accompany his wife even if they're not in good terms.

Narito naman kami para bantayan si Azar. He doesn't need to stay and let Tita left alone just like that.

"Sit here," turo ni Mama sa couch.

I was hesitant at first. If she's going to tell me the truth now, wouldn't it be better if it's just between us two?

Unless if Tito has something to do with the truth but I doubt it.

Dahan-dahan akong umupo sa couch.

"Tito, you're still here..." I tried to smile to ease the awkwardness.

He smiled back but it didn't reach his eyes. He was just staring at me gently like a diamond that needs to be taken care of wich I really appreciate. But I would never understand the emotion I saw on his eyes.

It was longing, I could see it twinkling under the light from above, and most especially, the love his eyes has.

Nakaramdam ako ng ginhawa. Those emotions suddenly put my heart at peace and warm.

I know this type of looks.

I've seen it to Tito Arthur whenever he talked about his daughter, Mallory.

Fatherly.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at malalim na huminga. I tried to get off my thoughts and just focus on my mother to at least, give me a clue on why he's still here or is he even needed to this talk, anyway?

"He will stay," aniya. "He has something to confess, too."

My brows furrowed. "About what?"

"About himself..."

"What about him? What does it has do with me, Mama?"

I'm not rude. I am confused.

Instead of answering me, she just looked at the other people inside this house and tilted her head, as if telling them to leave us which they did in silence.

Kami na lang tatlo ang natira. Magkatabi sila sa sofa at ilang pulgada lang ang layo.

Their hands were both on their thighs. Further, my mother's hand was moving back and forth above her legs, she cannot even look at me now.

I could sense that she's nervous.

"Mama..." I called.

She sighed deeply and looked down, not uttering a word. Ayaw ko man ay napunta ang atensiyon ko kay Tito na tahimik din.

I don't know what to react upon seeing his reaction. Just like her, he looked down and stared at his hands.

Marahas akong napabuga ng hangin. Do I need to look down to stare at my hands like its the beautiful hand I've ever seen in my entire life, too?

I wasn't inform that we're creating a series. Today, the first episode of adoring our hands is now out. Available to f*****g watch.

People should uh... Spend some time to do this? Let's see if there's something more interesting hiding in between our fingers.

"Mama..." I called again, trying not to lose my patience.

Tumingala siya pero sa unahan ang tingin. I never saw her act this way.

Ngayon ko lang siyang nakita na kabado.

She was always calm and composed like everything doesn't matter to her. That no matter how scary the world could it get, she wouldn't panic nor feel even just a little bit of nervousness.

But now? What is making her nervous? Was it his presence? Or the idea of making their mistakes right bothers her.

I sighed deeply. Guess we're going nowhere here if she keep on ignoring me.

Tumayo ako at nagpagpag. Pareho ko silang tiningnan pagkatapos at nasa unahan pa rin ang atensiyon nila.

"If you're not going to talk, I might as well leave," sabi kong bakas ang inis.

I know I should give her enough time just like what she asked but, I'm slowly losing my patience. Kung ayaw nilang mahirapan, dapat noon pa sa akin sinabi ang totoo.

The earlier, the better.

I plan to visit Azar. Kaya naman nang akma akong aalis ay saka lang din sila kumilos. Mama Astrid stood and went to me, then asked if I could sit back again which I did eventually.

I was just testing her anyway.

Bumalik ulit siya sa kaniyang puwesto habang ako naman ay umupo rin sa couch.

She inhaled and exhaled loudly. "I don't know where or how to start," I heard her whispered.

"Start at the beginning," I told her which was dumb, I realized.

Akma akong mag-iiwas ng tingin nang bigla na lang kinuha ni Tito ang kaniyang kamay at mahigpit itong hinawakan! He held it tight and put their hands together on his lap.

My mother and I shared the same reaction! Eyes wide and lips slightly open.

But why? Why are they holding hands?!

Am I missing something? They both know my relationship with Azar then, why am I seeing this?

"Okay, I get it..." I tried to be calm. "Are you this against to my relationship with Azar? Why? Because he's a vampire, Mama?"

Mabilis siyang umiling. She tried to take her hands away but, he didn't let her. Instead, he held it more tightly and suddenly, she stopped.

"Let's just tell her the truth, Astrid," he said seriously. 

"Yes, you should tell me the truth."

We went silent.

"You can't use this to stop my relationship with him, Mama. If you don't want a disgrace in your family, then we will leave once he wakes up. You don't have to be this cruel," sunod-sunod kong saad.

She doesn't have to do this. Isa pa, may pamilya si Tito! He maybe not in good terms with Tita Anna, but at least they need to settle everything first!

"Does Tita Anna know about this?"

"She doesn't need to know anything," he replied.

"And why? She's your wife!"

"She's not!" my mother shouted in disapproval.

I arc my brows. "May anak siya kay Tita, at iyon ang boyfriend ko! Married or not, I don't care!"

This time, I can't help but shout. Of all people, why him?

"Listen, Emory..." he was calm. "Let's talk calmly, okay? I will take all your words after this. You can slap me or punch me and whatever, just listen."

I bit the side of my cheek and averted my gaze. What else do I need to know? They're in a relationship, was it the secret she was trying to hide from me?

Was it her way to tell me that Az and I can't happen because she's with his father?

"I am not his father."

I froze on my spot. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang ritmo na ginagawa ng aking puso sa kaniyang tinuran. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam ng kaniyang mga salita.

I was surprised, sad, then normal.

Mapakla akong tumawa. "Now you came up with that lame excuse," I turned my head to face them.

"We're not lying," my mother defended.

"Yeah? But he is," tukoy ko kay Tito. "Can't come up with any good excuse? You don't have to lie in front of me for me to accept your relationship with my mother."

I don't know the real story why he left Az and Tita. Then, showed up like this announcing his relationship with my mother. Tapos ngayon, ipagpipilitan niyang hindi niya anak si Azar?

If he's here, what would he feel? To be denied.

"I'm telling you the truth," kalmado pa rin siya.

Umiling ako. "You two don't need my approval so, continue on what you are. As for me, I will fight for my relationship with Az. You have no say on this," I said firmly.

I stood up and was about to leave when he said something.

"Leo Madrigal," he uttered. "That's the name of Azar's father. His name was Zacharias Saint Laurent."

Nanatili akong nakatalikod sa kanila, naghihintay sa maaari pa nilang sabihin.

"While I'm..." he cough fakely. "I'm your father, Ean Du Marais."

A tear roll down my cheek. I looked up to stop the upcoming tears from falling. Dinala ko ang kamay upang masahiin ang bandang dibdib kung saan ang aking puso.

I felt like the space inside my heart tightened that I'm having a hard time catching my breathe.

How could they lie?

I turned around to face them. Nanunuya ko silang tiningnan.

"I longed for my father, that's I can't deny. Pero huwag niyo naman siya gamitin, Mama. Kung ayaw mo pa rin sabihin sa akin ang tungkol sa kaniya, tatanggapin ko 'yon."

I stared at them, begging. Just how could they do this to me?

They're not making it right. Dinadagdagan lamang niya ang kaniyang kasinungalingan.

I gazed at him. "If you want me to believe you, show me an evidence. That's the only way that would make me believe you, Tito."

"What evidence? DNA test? Is that what you want?"

Ngumisi ako. "DNA can be fake."

"Emory! We will never do that!" Napatayo si Mama roon at napamasahe sa kaniyang noo.

"Hindi ko iyon gagawin, Emory. I am your father."

Napunta ang tingin ko sa portrait at saglit na natigilan.

"Were you also one of those scientists who found the virus?"

Umawang ang kaniyang labi sabay nag-iwas ng tingin. Basing on his reaction, I know he was one of them.

There were four scientists. Si Tito Arthur who left, my grandpa and Leo Madrigal who wanted to release the virus and now is hiding but this certain person stopped them.

The one scientist who has a cancer and was experimented who later became a vampire. This one person who sabotaged their lab before.

I squint my eyes. "Was it you?"

"Anna was our friend," said Mama instead. "Leo got her pregnant, while Ean... Well, he got me pregnant," kaswal niyang sinabi.

"I don't have time for this..." I whispered.

"He was dying, Ry. Your father was dying," her voice cracked. "Azar's father and your grandpa used him for their own likings after they found the virus year 1984. But they didn't succeed on turning him into a vampire as I helped him escaped. Then Anna came... She offered herself to Leo, and let him used her."

"She was the first vampire in human history, Emory..."

I stayed still. "But after that, he left with my father and now they're trying to hunt us to stop this research."

"Why did you even bother finding the cure? You killed tons of vampires before."

"It was my choice," he said. "I wanted to become a human."

"So you're a vampire? How come that I'm human if that's the case?"

"You believed me?"

Umiling ako. "No."

Mama sighed. "I turned him right after you were born."

"You turned him?" paniniguro ko.

"Yes," her voice was low. "I don't want to lose him. He was dying, and I was so scared to be left alone that was why I did something I thought was right."

"And now you're paying the consequence of what you did."

Bumalik ako sa puwesto ko kanina at malamin na bumuntong-hininga. Pilit kong pinakalma ang sarili at hinanda para na rin sa susunod pa nilang sasabihin.

However, my mind is still fighting with my heart. I don't know which one to follow.

Is it my heart which tells me to believe all their words or my mind that told me otherwise?

She shook her head. There's no regret shown on her eyes.

"I don't regret it, Ry. I will never..."

Tumingin ako kay Tito. Honestly, I could see my eyes on him.

"What about Simeon, Mama?"

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Simeon... was Leo's..."

Napamaang ako. "What?"

"He's Azar's brother in father side," napapikit siya habang sinasabi iyon.

"Wow..." I uttered in disbelief.

"But you two could still happen, Ry. I won't interfere. You have no connection with—"

"Of course, Mama! We're not! I'm his girlfriend, that's the only thing that connects us!"

Jesus! Simeon was thirty years old! That was six years after the virus was founded!

"Was he a vampire?"

"Simeon was just half..."

"What would happen to his son? Does Lia know about his being?"

"I don't know," iling niya. "Wala siyang sinabi sa akin."

"God!" I exclaimed. "She's pregnant! I'm sure she's having a hard time!"

I don't have the energy to be angry at something that already happened. Just like this, learning about Simeon's identity. Ni hindi ko nga maisip ang dapat isipin ko ngayon.

The thing that bothers me now is Lia's pregnancy. Sloan isn't human. I mean, at least but he has a vampire blood! The baby probably target Lia's blood! Drinking inside her womb and that worries me a lot.

We didn't even notice the hardship she tried to hide from all of us.

"We will conduct a DNA test..." sabi ni Tito.

I stared at him. "No," iling ko.

"What no? You wanted me to show some proof and this is the only way that I could think of."

Muli akong umiling. "We should contact Lia," baling ko kay Mama.

Tumayo ako at tiningnan sila pareho. "I could see myself on you, Tito. Just please... give me some time. You don't have to prove anything. I was just mad and all but, all is well."

Mabilis siyang tumayo at mangiyak-ngiyak na lumapit sa akin. He held my arms and squeeze it as he studied me.

"God, I've dreamt of this..." he whispered, eyes are now filled with tears.

I tried to hide my smile. Napasimangot ako nang mahuli ako ni Mama.

"You grew up so fine," he smiled before embracing me.

I sighed in relief.

I didn't hug him back. My arms stayed still on my sides as I let him brush my hair. 

Tumayo rin si Mama at akmang lalapit nang marinig namin si Tita Mau na humahangos na lumapit sa amin.

"Bad news!" bungad niya.

Humiwalay si Tito— I don't know what to call him but whatever. Hinarap naming tatlo si Tita na bakas ang kaba sa mukha.

"Leo Madrigal is here," nanlaki ang kaniyang mga mata. "And Azarius just opened his eyes!"

Hindi ako nag-aksaya ng oras. Mabilis akong tumakbo para puntahan si Azar sa basement. Sina Mallory ay nakita ko pang naghahanda pero hindi ko sila pinansin.

I made my way towards Azar who's sitting on the small bed. Nakayuko siya't mahigpit ang hawak sa gilid ng kama.

Pigil ang hininga akong lumapit sa kaniya. When he sensed my presence, he raised his head and our eyes met.

It seems as if my eyes has its own mind as my tears automatically fell down.

"Baby..." I called. Medyo awang ang bibig ko dahil sa labis na pag-iyak.

His lips parted a bit. Then he blinked his eyes as if not expecting me.

I moved closer to his and held his face.

"Gosh, you're awake!" naiiyak kong sinabi. "You came back!"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili. I throw myself to him which made him stood straight. I sobbed hard on his neck as I hug him tight.

"Thank you for coming back," bulong ko.

He shoved his face in the crook of my neck.

"I love you, Emory. But I think this isn't the right time for reunion," he chuckled.