Lethal Attachment

Chapter 2

Minute

The moment I went outside of his office, I released a deep breath and pressed my hand on my chest like it would help my heart calm down. I did my best to stop the tears from streaming down my face. I looked up at the ceiling and closed my eyes.

Pakiramdam ko'y hindi ko na kakayanin kung sakaling maging ganoon ulit ang aming pagpapalitan ng mga salita ni Rojan. Mabuti na lang at nagabayan ko kahit papaano ngayon ang aking naglalagablab na damdamin. Isang malaking tagumpay na ang aking nakamit dahil hindi ako bumigay ngayon sa kanyang harapan at napigilan ko ang aking pagluha.

Maybe it's only a normal for me to feel that way since it's the first I saw him again after we broke up and went on separate ways. It's natural that we would have that kind of confrontation. Hopefully, tomorrow it wouldn't be like that anymore. Kung hindi man ay gagawin ko ang aking makakaya para lamang mapakisamahan siya ng mabuti kahit na taliwas pa ang kanyang iakto sa akin.

Nang muli akong dumilat matapos kong mapakalma ang aking damdamin ay halos atakihin ako nang makita kong nakatitig sa akin si Laurel. His eyes under his glasses were piercing through me while carrying a thick folder and a small notebook that looks like a planner.

Mabilis naman akong umayos sa aking pagkakatayo. I cleared my throat before I shyly smiled at him.

"Uh... I'm sorry―"

"Save your apologies," masungit niyang sabi. "You have a lot of things to learn and do today. Hindi dapat tayo mag-aksaya ng oras."

Without a word, he turned his back on me and started walking to the office just in front of Rojan's office. Ngayon ay alam ko na ang aking gagawin kaya agad na akong sumunod sa kanya patungo sa opisinang 'yon.

"This will be your office as Mr. Sarmiento's secretary," Laurel informed me as soon as I got inside. "For now, we will share the same office 'til the next three days."

I couldn't help but be amazed. It was a very cozy and spacious office. In my previous job, I only worked in a cubicle along with other employees from the same department but now, I even have my own private space while working.

"I already removed the password on the computer so that you can put your own password as this will be your own computer," he continued to say. "And the cabinet here contains all of the important files that Mr. Sarmiento might need. It is already sorted by years and months. Even the past files of the former President, Mr. Vini Sarmiento, are also here. Make sure that if you have free time, scan those files and educate yourself."

Tumango-tango naman ako at pinanood ko siyang umikot patungo sa likuran ng lamesa. Binuksan niya ang drawer at saka kinuha ang isang iPad.

"This iPad holds Mr. Sarmiento's schedule for this month until next month. Just check the calendar. Pati ang minutes ng mga naging meetings niya ay nandyan sa notes. Naka-arrange na 'yon at mayroon ding labels para kapag kinailangan niya. Try reading it to be acquainted with everything he's working on," he said and handed me the gadget. "Ito rin ang gagamitin mo para ayusin ang ibang schedule niya. Make sure na lagi mo itong titingnan para wala kang makakalimutan. Isang meeting o schedule lang ang mamiss niya ay may kapalit na hindi magandang epekto sa kompanya. Make sure you're always reminded about his schedules."

He stopped and stared at me like he was waiting for a response from all the things he'd said. And for that, I just smiled at him and nodded to make him see that I understood and acknowledged what he just told me, but he remained looking at me with a very uncomfortable stare before he finally lost it and dropped himself on the office chair.

I was completely speechless with his abrupt and unexpected actions. My jaw was slightly dropped while staring at him. Bahagya pa akong napaatras nang muli siyang mag-angat ng isang napakatalim na tingin sa akin. It felt like his stare could cut through my soul.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangang kumuha ni Mr. Sarmiento ng bagong sekretarya at babae pa!"

I was taken aback by the sudden change in the tone of his voice. It was way too far from his deep voice while speaking to me earlier. Kung pipikit ako ngayon, pakiramdam ko ay ibang tao na ang kausap ko dahil sa pagbabago ng kanyang boses. Gulong-gulo tuloy ako ngayon habang nakatingin sa kanya. Gusto kong malinawan.

Halos mapatalon ako nang hampasin niya ang lamesa kasabay ng kanyang pagtayo. Mataray na mataray ang kanyang tingin sa akin habang naglalakad palapit. Pinasadahan niya ako ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa at saka humalukipkip. Nagtaas pa ang kanyang kilay at mukhang hinahamon ako sa kung anong bagay.

"Maganda ka na niyan?"

Nang maarte siyang nagtanong sa akin ay agad na akong nalinawan sa aking pagkagulo. Pumipilantik ang kanyang kilay habang nakatingin sa akin. Mayroon siyang tinatagong pagkatao sa kung ano'ng pinakita niya noong una.

He's not like the rest of the guys. He chose a different path that makes him happy and puts his soul in peace. I admire him for that.

"I've been Mr. Sarmiento's secretary ever since he stepped in as the new President of Sarto," panimula niya. "Ginawa ko ang lahat para matanggap ako bilang sekretarya niya noon. Ang isa sa mga qualifications na hinahanap niya noon ay dapat lalaki. Kaya kinalimutan ko ang aking p********e para lang matanggap at makasama siya araw-araw. Ni hindi ko nga alam na naghahanap pala siya ng bagong sekretarya tapos ngayon ay babae pa ang tinanggap niya at ikaw 'yon!"

Wala sa sarili akong napalunok habang pinapakinggan ang kanyang madramang pagsasalita. Ang kanyang tinig na gamit ngayon ay parang mas babaeng-babae pa kung ikukumpara sa aking boses.

"Naiinis ako!" he ranted and stomped his feet. He even crossed his arms! "Bakit kailangang babae ang maging sekretarya niya ngayon? Bakit kailangang ikaw? Bakit kailangang palitan niya ako? Am I not enough? Kapalit-palit ba ako?"

Gusto kong matawa dahil sa kanyang pag-arte na halos gayang-gaya ang napanood ko noon sa pelikula kung saan sinabi ang kanyang ginamit na linya pero pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko. I didn't want to piss him off more. Baka mamaya ay hindi na matapos ang kanyang pagd-drama o baka masabunutan niya pa ako. I would rather keep quiet and just let him or her be.

"Uh... Pasensya ka na..." nag-aalangan kong paghingi ng paumanhin sa kanya. "Hindi ko rin alam na magiging sekretarya niya ako. I applied as an office clerk, but being his secretary was the job offer they gave me. Hindi ko rin naman ginusto 'to pero kailangan ko lang talaga ng trabaho."

"I know..."

Muli siyang nagtaas ng kilay at saka bumalik sa upuan. He sat in a girly way and acted like he was tucking in strands of hair behind his ear.

"Who would want to work with an ex-lover, right?" he said so meaningfully.

My lips parted in disbelief. When he saw my reaction, it was like he succeeded in something. Sa nakuha niyang reaksyon galing sa akin ay alam kong nakuha na niya ang kailangan niya upang makumpirma ang iniisip.

"Paano mo nalaman?" tanong ko nang makabawi sa pagkabigla.

"Ever since college, I already have a crush on Rojan. Most of the time, I stalk him." He giggled while reminiscing about his past of stalking Rojan. "You are his first ever girlfriend, and you broke up with him before you both graduated in college and went separate ways."

I bit my lower lip and slightly looked away from him. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko dahil mukhang alam na alam niya talaga ang kung ano man ang namagitan sa aming dalawa ni Rojan noon.

"Alam mo, pilit akong nag-iisip ng dahilan kung bakit ka nakipaghiwalay kay Rojan dahil wala akong maisip na dahilan kahit ano'ng gawin ko," sabi niya at tila naguguluhan sa aking desisyon na ginawa ko. "Rojan Sarmiento is one of the most prominent bachelors in the country. Napakaswerte mo na at boyfriend mo siya pagkatapos ay pinakawalan mo pa."

Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses ko nang nadinig noon ang linya na napakaswerte ko dahil boyfriend ko si Rojan pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko narinig sa iba na swerte siya nang dahil sa akin. The only one who kept on telling me that Rojan's lucky to have me was he, himself.

No one was able to see my efforts in loving him except for him. They thought that I was only taking him for granted; that I was only using him for money, fame and recognition. No one really knew how much I loved him that he even doubted if I really did love him. That's what hurt me the most. That solidified my decision to break up with him instead of running back to him like what my heart told me to.

Noong gabing 'yon, pakiramdam ko ay pinaniwalaan niya na ang lahat ng sabi-sabi at nakalimutan na ang lahat ng ginawa ko para sa kanya upang maramdaman niya kung paano ko siya minahal. It was a hell of a night for me. Ayoko nang balikan pa 'yon. That night was very lethal that I felt like dying because of the pain I felt inside my heart.

"I don't deserve him," iyon na lang ang tanging nasabi ko.

Laurel's grin faded and looked at me with an unexpected concern on his face. He stood up once again and got a handkerchief from his pocket. He offered it to me with a smile.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to intrude. I'm just naturally curious." Mas inilapit niya sa akin ang kanyang hawak na panyo.

Sinubukan ko namang damhin ang aking pisngi gamit ang aking kamay. Bahagyang nanlaki ang aking mga mata nang maramdamang basa na pala ang aking pisngi mula sa luha na hindi ko namalayang bumubuhos na.

Laurel exhaled violently and grabbed my hand to place the handkerchief on my palm.

"Punasan mo ang luha mo," sabi niya. "Sayang ang ganda mo kung iiyak ka lang. Ang dapat sa ating mga magaganda ay laging nakangiti at matagumpay."

Napangiti naman ako at saka ginamit pampunas ng aking luha ang kanyang panyo.

If I thought earlier that I would never be comfortable with Laurel, well, I thought wrong. He became light to me after I was able to calm down my feelings. He passionately taught me all the things I needed to learn. He even praised me for being a fast learner.

Nasa gitna naman kami nang pag-uusap ni Laurel patungkol sa mga binabalak na proyekto ni Rojan nang biglang tumunog ang intercom. Napatili pa nga siya at hindi natuloy ang aking pagtawa ng madinig ang malalim na tinig ni Rojan sa kabilang linya.

"I need my lunch now."

Iyon lamang ang kanyang sinabi at agad na rin niyang pinatay ang intercom. And just like what Laurel taught me, I pressed the intercom and spoke in order for Rojan to know that I heard his order.

"Right away, Sir," I simply said and turned off the intercom.

Tinuro naman ni Laurel ang telepono upang matawagan ko na ang canteen sa baba at maihatid na nila ang pagkain ni Rojan sa kanyang opisina.

"Hello, this is Krieshana, secretary of Mr. Sarmiento. He's already requesting for his lunch to be delivered in his office right now," I told the canteen manager who answered the call.

"No problem, Ma'am. We'll deliver it right away," she politely answered.

"Okay. Thank you!" I politely said before ending the call.

Nagulat naman ako nang muling tumunog ang intercom kaya nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Laurel habang hinihintay ang susunod na sasabihin ni Rojan.

"I want you to personally deliver the meal inside my office. I have something to say," he coldly said.

Laurel and I both released a deep exhale at the same time. He stood up and massaged my shoulders like he was helping me prepare myself for an upcoming fight.

"Kaya mo 'yan," he encouraged me while he continued to massage my shoulders. "Isipin mo na lang na biniyayaan ka at makakakita ka ng napakaguwapong nilalang. Don't think that he's your ex."

Napatawa na lang ako sa kanyang sinabi at saka tumayo na. I should wait for the staff of the canteen in front of his office before they deliver it to him. Ang sabi niya kasi ay ako mismo ang kailangang magdala sa kanyang opisina kaya iyon ang dapat kong gawin.

Paupo pa lamang ako sa couch sa waiting area ng labas ng opisina ni Rojan nang makita kong paparating na ang cart kung nasaan ang kanyang pagkain. I approached the guy who brought his lunch. Napatigil agad ito at napatitig sa akin kaya naman ngumiti ako sa kanya dahil mukha siyang natakot sa akin.

"Ako na ang magdadala sa loob ng opisina niya," sabi ko naman at saka hinila ang cart papalapit sa akin. "Puwede bang hintayin mo ako rito para maibalik ko ang cart sa'yo pagkatapos?"

"W-Wala pong problema, Ma'am!" nauutal niyang sabi sa akin at saka nahihiyang ngumiti.

Nginitian ko na lang siya ulit at saka tinulak na ang cart sa may opisina. I opened the door first before entering inside with his food.

Rojan immediately raised his gaze from the computer when I came inside his office. He was intently watching me walk closer to him and served his food on the side table where he will eat.

Nang matapos kong ayusin ang kanyang pagkain sa side table ay bumalik ako sa kanyang harapan at maayos na tumayo habang hinihintay ang kanyang importanteng sasabihin sa akin. His eyes bore into mine, and I just stared back at him with a smile on my face.

He cleared his throat and finally removed his loose tie. He even opened two buttons of his shirt that made the silver necklace on his neck very visible. Nagtagal ang aking titig sa kwintas na 'yon na ako mismo ang nagbigay sa kanya noon bilang regalo no'ng kaarawan niya. It wasn't an expensive necklace, but I made sure that it won't rust. Ang akala ko'y itatapon niya na ito o huhubarin dahil wala na kami pero naghuhuramentado ngayon ang aking puso nang makita kong suot niya pa rin ito.

Muli naman siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin at bago pa niya ako maabutang nakatingin sa kwintas ay agad kong ibinalik ang aking mga mata sa kanyang mukha.

"I have an unscheduled meeting at 6PM in BGC later," he informed me. "Your presence is needed there. We will leave at exactly 5PM so, if you have plans after the regular working hours, you have to cancel it."

"No problem, Sir. Is that all?" I promptly said.

"That's all," he just said without looking at me and just minding his lunch.

"Okay, Sir. Please do enjoy eating your meal," sabi ko na lang bago ko siya tinalikuran at taas-noong lumabas ng kanyang opisina habang tulak-tulak ang cart.

Naabutan ko roon sa labas ang nakatayong staff ng canteen. Ibinalik ko sa kanya ang cart bago ako pumasok sa aking opisina kung saang inaayos na rin ni Laurel ang aming pagkain. I told him about the unscheduled meeting as we ate our lunch, and he told me that it was inevitable. Madalas din daw mangyari iyon noon kaya talagang maganda kung wala akong lakad sa araw ng trabaho. My only rest days would be on weekends but sometimes, I needed to work on weekdays too, especially if we're gonna go out of town or country for business matters.

After eating our lunch, Laurel continued educating me about my duties as the secretary of Sarto's president. I didn't know why time passed by so quickly. Pakiramdam ko ay isang oras pa lang ang nakakalipas pero nag-alarm na ang phone ko nang magfour-thirty upang makapagligpit na ng gamit at makapaghanda.

"Hindi ka ba sasama sa meeting ngayon?" tanong ko kay Laurel habang inaayos ang aking bag.

Binigay ulit sa akin ng umiiling na si Laurel ang iPad upang hindi ko makalimutan dahil kakailanganin ko ito mamaya sa meeting para maka-jot down notes.

"You're his new secretary while I'm just waiting for me to be transferred to my new post after three days so, no... I won't go," he answered with his manly voice. "Also, this will serve as your training. Make sure to keep in mind all the things I taught you, okay?"

Pakiramdam ko ay nakukuha ko na ang ugali ni Laurel. Kapag nagseseryoso siya ay bumabalik siya sa p*********i pero kapag hindi ay lumalabas ang kanyang p********e. Siguro ay nasanay na siya dahil matagal na rin siyang naging sekretarya ni Rojan.

"You go now! There's only two minutes before five. Maghintay ka na sa harap ng office dahil siguradong eksaktong alas-singko lalabas si Rojan," muling bumalik sa p********e ang kanyang boses at mahinhin pa akong tinulak-tulak papalabas ng opisina. "See you again tomorrow!"

He giggled in a girly way when he succeeded in pushing me out of the office. He even playfully winked at me and when I heard the door from the other side open, Laurel immediately shifted his expression and closed the door to hide himself. I tightly pursed my lips to stop myself from laughing when I turned to look at Rojan.

He was giving an intense stare at the closed doors behind me before he transferred his eyes on me. His cold eyes started to ignite fire as his jaw clenched. I could feel that he had something to say but instead of voicing it out, he just looked away from me and started to walk away.

Agad ko naman siyang sinundan dahil alam kong iyon ang kailangan kong gawin. Nang maabutan ko siya ay naglagay ako ng distansya sa pagitan naming dalawa. Nanatili lang akong nakasunod sa kanyang likuran. Ang mga empleyadong aming nadadaanan ay magalang siyang binabati habang dire-diretso lamang siya sa paglalakad.

I couldn't help but to compare him to the way he was before. Naaalala ko noon, tuwing dumadaan kami sa hallway, kapag mayroong bumabati sa kanya ay tinatanguan at nginingitian niya ito. Lalo na kapag nananalo sila sa mga laban ay kakaibang ngiti ang naisusukli niya sa mga masaya para sa kanyang pagkapanalo. Ngayon, ang laki na ng kanyang pinagkaiba at pinagbago. Dinadaan niya na lamang ang mga taong magalang na bumabati sa kanya.

He stopped walking in front of the lift and pressed the down button. I remained standing behind him when my phone suddenly chimed. My forehead creased when I saw a message from Walter.

From: Walter

Five ang out mo, 'di ba? Nasa lobby ako ng building ninyo. Sabay na tayo umuwi. Ihahatid kita.

Napaawang ang aking bibig dahil sa walang pasabing pagsundo ni Walter sa akin. Bago pa ako nakapagtipa ng reply ay bumukas na ang elevator at agad na pumasok doon si Rojan kaya wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang sumunod sa kanya.

I violently sighed as I typed my reply to Walter. Naramdaman ko ang pagsulyap ni Rojan sa akin pero mas nangibabaw ang pagkairita ko kay Walter para punahin pa iyon. Kahit kailan talaga ay puro kunsumisyon ang naibibigay sa akin ng lalaking 'yon.

To: Walter

May pupuntahan pa kaming meeting ng boss ko. Umuwi ka na. Sa susunod na lang.

I pressed send, but there's no signal inside the elevator. Nagf-fail lang ang aking pagse-send ng reply sa kanya hanggang sa nakarating na kami sa lobby.

My jaw dropped when I saw Walter standing out of the crowd in the lobby. He was wearing a corporate attire, indicating that he just got off from work. Walter's earning well with his job. Nakabili na nga siya ng sasakyan at balak na magpagawa ng bagong bahay sa Bela Isla. Matalino rin siya dahil nag-invest siya sa kompanya ng kaibigan naming si Drew noong makaipon siya.

Drew also invited me to invest, but the problem is that I don't have enough money to invest. Inaya niya rin akong magtrabaho sa kanyang kompanya pero mas gusto kong magsumikap mag-isa.

"Mr. Sarmiento," I called Rojan's attention and walked straight in front of him. "Please, excuse me for a minute. It'll be just a minute, Sir."

Nanatili ang malalim niyang titig sa akin bago bumuntong hininga at tumango. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at mabilis na naglakad patungo sa kinagagawian ng aking kaibigan na pinupuna ngayon ang malaking painting sa lobby.

"Walter!"

Mabilis naman siyang napalingon sa akin. Sumilay ang mapaglarong ngiti sa kanyang labi nang makita ako.

"Tapos ka na? Tara na!" pag-aya niya sa akin.

"Mayroon pa akong meeting sa labas kasama ang boss ko. Kailangan ay nandoon ako kaya muna ka na pauwi," sabi ko naman sa kanya.

Agad na nawala ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. "Saan kayo magme-meeting?"

"Somewhere in BGC," sagot ko.

Tumango-tango siya. "Kung ganoon ay hihintayin kong matapos ang meeting ninyo. Ako na ang maghahatid sa'yo pauwi. Itext mo ako kung nasaan kayo sa BGC at susunduin kita."

"No need to do that," pagtanggi ko. "Kaya ko namang umuwi mag-isa. Malapit lang ang BGC sa apartment ko."

Bago pa makapagsalita muli si Walter ay nabitin sa ere ang kanyang sasabihin nang lumipat ang mga mata niya sa aking likuran. Naramdaman ko naman ang paglapit ng pamilyar na aura sa aking likuran. Mukhang kilala ko na kung sino ang tinitingnan ni Walter.

"It's been a minute already. We should go now," I heard Rojan say in a very authoritative way. "We can't be late."

Nilingon ko naman si Rojan at nahihiyang ngumiti. "Okay, Sir."

Muli kong binalingan si Walter na nakatitig pa rin kay Rojan. Nang mapansin niyang nakatingin ako sa kanya ay saka niya lamang ako tinapunan ulit ng tingin.

"I'll just text you later, Walter. I have to go," paalam ko sa kaibigan at nauna nang maglakad kay Rojan papalabas ng lobby kung saan naghihintay ang kanyang sasakyan.