True Love

Connection

Just as there is a fundamental difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, there is an important distinction between love and attachment. However, navigating the (sometimes subtle) differences between love and attachment can be tricky. In many ways, a strong attachment or dependency can feel a lot like love. But in general with attachments, there’s a weaker emotional connection.

“Being in love means there is a connection while being attached implies dependency,” Nebraska-based AASECT Certified s*x Therapist and AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator Kristen Lilla previously told Elite Daily. When you have a connection based on love, you shouldn’t have any feelings of obligation. “I think it is important to ask yourself the question, ‘Do I have to be with this person, or do I get to be with this person?’” Lilla added. “If you feel like you have to be in a relationship, perhaps it is out of an attachment issue, but if you feel like you get to be with someone, and it is a privilege, you may be in love.”

True love cannot exist without safety. A relationship that puts you in a precarious place - whether that is emotionally or physically - cannot be true love, because true love requires your needs to be met. In order to achieve that, true love starts with a union with yourself. In this union, you are able to recognize what you need to feel secure, how to ask for it, and to recognize when it isn't being received.

As Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, licensed clinical psychotherapist and founder of LoveVictory.com, previously told Elite Daily, true love should provide a feeling of peace and stability. "Healthy, lasting love finds its own 'cruising gear' where you feel fulfilled, happy, positive, and sure of your choice of partner," she said.

In a truly loving relationship, you and your partner will respect each other's boundaries, because you understand that is what you both need in order to feel safe. You won't ask each other to compromise those boundaries, because you know that would mean asking someone to compromise their safety or health for you. True love feels like knowing you are protected within the shared space of your relationship, emotionally, physically, and mentally.