Reaping Me Softly

Chapter 5 - A Bitter Dream

My heart is beating rapidly as I stared at the man with my eyes wide open in fear. I can't pinpoint why I'm feeling scared upon seeing him, no...

At some point, I know. That includes the idea that this might not be real, and that I'm maybe sleeping and just dreaming that I'm seeing him with my own eyes.

He felt so real I'm afraid to blink. I wanted to keep my eyes open because if I blink, he might vanish and that's scary to think.

"Simeon..." I called but he didn't flinch a bit.

My grip on the hook tightened, as well as my heart. I can't contain the tears that were building inside my eyes, and even if I do, I would still let it fall to show him how much I'm suffering because of him. Even in my dreams, I wanted to let him feel the pain I've been carrying since the day of our wedding.

He has no idea of what I've been through all these months. It's too unfair that I'm hurting alone. That I'm the only one fighting this battle.

"Simeon..." My voice cracked in pain. "Baby... Please, don't leave me... Please, just take me with you... I can't take the pain anymore, Simeon. I felt like dying every day without you..." My lips quivered.

When he died, a part of me died with him. If it wasn't because of our son, I would have followed him that day. But I'm not selfish to take an innocent life with me... Once is enough.

But today was too painful. I just wanted to vanish for a while. Died and come back once I'm okay. If only I could do that...

"I didn't sign up for this drama, lady." I heard a cold voice. Even his eyes were too cold I felt like freezing.

My tears back down. He stared at my belly, then walked near me to help me go up. My mouth gapes slightly when I felt his touch on my skin. It brought familiarity to my system, but something just changed. It wasn't warm as it was before.

His touch changed...

At this point, everything was confusing. I don't even know if I'm currently awake, or still dreaming. All that matters to me is the fact that I'm near him, feeling him even if it was just a bitter dream.

I sniffed and leer at him in disbelief. The man was wearing a black outfit making his pale white skin stand out. He has a strong built, a good posture, and a face that looks the same as Simeon, my husband. I can feel it deep in my heart...

But something felt strange. The longer I watch him, the more the stranger feeling becomes stronger. Why am I feeling like I'm looking at another version of my husband? The opposite one...

It was like a replica. But their presence doesn't feel the same anymore.

"Did you even hear what I've said?" he asked with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "I don't know why you knew my name but, I don't care. I came here for work, okay? Save your drama for yourself as I have no time listening to human's problems."

"You're harsh..." my voice was low. "Even in my dreams, can you be nice, Simeon? You've changed a lot..."

His brows furrowed. He let go of me and stood straight, tilting his head as if I've grown two heads. The pain in my heart subsided and was replaced with anger. How could he be so harsh on his wife? Does he have no mercy left in his heart?

"Dreams..." he nodded. "So, you thought you were sleeping and dreaming, huh?"

"You can't be real..."

"Of course, I'm real!" he snapped which made me close my eyes.

"Why are you shouting?!"

"Because you're dumb!" he snickered. Suddenly, I felt a cold hand wrapped my small arms. I almost flinch when he held me tightly. "Open your eyes, Dahlia. Don't make this hard for both of us, okay? I'm here for work, nothing more."

"But you can't be real..." I bit the inside of my cheek, still, my eyes were closed. "You are just a dream, Simeon. You can't be real. You're dead!"

"I know that..." he cursed. "But I am real, Dahlia. Bringing you the saddest news you'll ever hear in your life..."

Shaking my head, I opened my eyes which I regret immediately. Our eyes meet and for real this time, I felt scared. His eyes have no hint of life... I couldn't even feel his breathing. It was like I'm staring at a total dead human body but it's not a ghost.

He's real... I felt my body hair stood on end upon watching him stepped backward. I think my heart would come out of my ribs.

God... I deem to give birth in no time from now because of fear. How can he be so real?

Please... If this is just a dream, wake me up now. This is a nightmare. I couldn't bear to see him changed and act stranger in front of me. This is too much to take.

Have mercy on me.

"I don't know you," he announced coldly. "But in case you need help, just call my name. You have a month left to bid goodbye to your loved ones, but you won't be able to hold your child as you'll die right after you give birth unless..."

"Unless what?" My voice was hopeful. I wanted to live for my son...

He shook his head. "You don't have to know that. You'll die anyway."

I held onto the railing to keep myself from standing. "What are you? You don't have the right to decide when people die. You are nothing but a ghost... Just a dead human lurking around the city with no direction. You have no power regardless of your position in hell, Simeon. You don't get to decide one's death."

"That's my work, lady. You won't understand until your day comes that you'll finally realize that this nature of work exits."

I let out a sarcastic smile. "Only grim reapers have this kind of work and they don't exist."

"Vampire exists," he fired back. "There's room for a new creature. You just have to believe it when you see one, just like now..."

"I won't die..." was all I can say. "See this?" I pointed to my belly. "I have a son coming one month from now! I took care of him alone and you dare to decide for my life and leave my son after having him?! You are heartless, Simeon... After all these months, years that..."

I closed my eyes emphatically. I am so pathetic... How can I remind him of our past when he doesn't even remember a thing? Of course, he will just deny it. F uck.

This isn't real... I won't believe him.

"Please, just leave my house. You are not welcome here..."

Even though we both built this house together but, if this is the Simeon that would stay with me here, I'd rather kick him out than being scared around him. I have never been this frightened for my life until now. It's my son that would be put at risk and I don't want that to happen.

"Leave!" I shouted angrily. "Don't come back here! I don't need you. Just leave, please..."

I don't want to hear any of his bulls hit anymore. He's being heartless for his son. How could he do this to us?! He was never here when I crave food, the morning sickness I've experienced, the first time I heard my baby's heartbeat, the moment I felt him kicked inside my tummy...

I had no one to share those good times.

And now he would just come back and tell me that I'm going to die after everything I did for our son?!

"You don't have the right to decide, Simeon..." I gritted my teeth. "You don't know what I've been through... You don't have an idea how I suffered because of you and now you're telling me..."

"That's the reality of your life," he insisted. "I will leave, for now. I will watch you for the whole month, Dahlia. Be ready..."

"Shut up!"

I breathed heavily to calm myself. I felt sick...

"Don't come back here, Simeon. I'm telling you, just f uck off and don't ever show yourself to me."

He just stared at me blankly. I averted my gaze before turning my back on him, walking slowly towards my room. Every step I made away from him broke my heart that I could almost hear it shattered into pieces. I tried my best to keep my voice from crying.

I just wanted to cry my heart out today. This pain... I wanted to end it all at once but, that's impossible. As long as I live, the pain would be present. It's part of me...

Pain is part of human life.

Until now, I still can't figure out how to end my misery. I'm still in the process of accepting that he already died but now that he showed up, I don't know what to do.

Was I hallucinating? Was I making a scenario inside my head due to loneliness? Maybe...

I miss him... I badly wanted to hold him to ease the pain but, how? The Simeon I made in my head was too heartless.

But damn... He felt so real. When his hands touched my skin, his body seems too real.