THE GAME OF CARDS

CHAPTER 7:BAD MOOD

Roe's POV

Narinig ko ang pagsara ng pinto ngunit ang nakikita ko lamang ngayon ay ang walang emosyon na mukha ni Rudy. Hawak hawak niya parin ang bibig ko habang nakatingala ako sa kanya.

Nandito na naman ang kaba dahil di ko talaga mabasa ang iniisip niya. He makes me feel vulnerable. I can't even find a weakness.

"What happened?"

Hindi ako subagot. Sa totoo lang ayukong pag usapan iyon. Kapag naaalala ko si Stephen nasasaktan lamang ako.

"You really won't talk, huh?"

Napahawak ako sa pulso niya nang humihugpit na ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa pisngi ko sa punto na sumasakit na ito.

"Are you going to continue to be like this?"

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. How dare him treat me like this?

"Is Stephen already dead?" Nagulat ako sa tanong niya ngunit ikinagalit ko nang makitang ngumiti siya. "So, am I right?!"

"F*ck you!" Sigaw ko sabay tulak sa kanya ngunit hinawakan niya ako sa braso at pinahiga sa sofa. "Sh*t!"

Aalis sana ko ngunit agad naman siyang pumatong sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at pinangko iyon sa itaas.

"D*mn it, Rudy-" natigil ako sa pagsasalita nang halikan niya ako.

Bw*sit.

Pinilit niyang ipasok ang dila niya sa bibig ko kaya naman kinagat ko ang labi niya. Agad naman niyang nilayo ang mukha niya at dinilaan ang dumudugong labi. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa walang emosyon niyang mukha.

My heart is beating so fast. I know Rudy likes me a lot but I didn't expect him to do things like this.

"The hell, Rudy?" Mahina kong sabi habang hinihingal pa.

"I'm sorry." Bulong niya at lumayo sa akin. Nandoon na siya sa dulo ng sofa nakaupo. Nakaharap parin siya sa akin ngunit nakayuko. "I'm sorry... I just... I like you. You know that and it hurts seeing you like this because of that weakling."

Nag iwas naman ako ng tingin.

"Y-you deserve someone. I'm not saying it should be me but choose anyone but not a weakling like him. He's weak. He can't protect you-"

"I don't need protection, I need happiness." Natigilan naman siya sa sinabi ko at dahan dahang nag angat ng tingin. "At sino bang nagsabi na pinipili ko siya?" Nag iwas ako ng tingin at pinigilan ang luha.

"But you're always with him and you like him-"

"I don't like him. I love him but I know I can't stand beside him." Kahit na masakit ang sinasabi ko ay ito naman ang totoo. "He's a ball of sunshine while me... I'm just the total opposite."

Stephen, makes me happy. He's weak in fighting but he knows how to do art, he's smart, he's kind, he's fun and lovable. How can I even imagine being with him? It's selfish to imagine and hoping that we will be together.

It's enough for me to pay for his hospital bills, it's enough for me to be his friend, it's enough for me to stay afar while he shine and it's fine for me to get hurt with this overwhelming feeling.

This is enough than nothing.

"His parents wants to cut the machine that's helping Stephen to live." Sabi ko. "They are giving up on him and Stephen wants to die anyway why not give him what he wants than suffering with that state. That's what they said."

"Is this why you're acting so gloomy?"

"I don't want him to die! I still believe those bully did this to him! But right now, I couldn't do anything. I'm hopeless."

"I'm sorry."

"Its fine." It's not his fault anyway. They don't know Stephen that much that's why he's telling me bad things about him. "... and I was thinking to quit the organization." Pagpapatuloy ko pa.

"What?! Why?!" Gulat na tanong niya.

"Wala na ang dahilan kung bat ako nagtrabaho doon."

"But... you've been in the organization before Stephen came to your life!"

"I know but Stephen made me feel normal and I want that feeling again... to be normal. Free from responsibilities and action. I've been killing people since I was 14, I think it's time to quit."

Di ko nga nagamit ang nalaman ko sa organisasyon para mailigtas si Stephen. Walang sinabi si Rudy at nag isip na lamang.

"This is why I came today to tell you all about it. I'm sorry."

"Then, did you already told the organization about it?"

"Not yet but they've been considering to fire me since Stephen's accident."

"Captain..." napatingin ako sa kanya. Bahagya akong nagulat nang makita ang mukha niya. Ang walang emosyong boses niya ay may himig na lungkot na ngayon.

"It's good for you. You got to kiss the woman you love before she leaves." Biro ko. Nag iwas naman siya ng tingin.

"Where are you going after you quit?"

"I don't know. Continue my study?" Napahinto naman siya at tumingin bigla sa akin.

"I know! You can just stay here and study here!" Napaatras naman ako nang makitang nakalapit na siya ng maayos.

"Pwede rin."

"This school is perfect for you. All of the students here are special and unique because most of them are delinquents and misfits. You can just continue study here and we would be together." Bulong niya sa huli sabay layo.

Nagtaas ako ng kilay. Rudy is a quiet guy. He's my vice captain before I got kick out from my position, he always supports me with my decisions but never failed to share his opinion. We've been together for 4 years now and yet even until now I couldn't predict and tell what's on his mind.

"Hey, tell me. When did you start liking me?" Nagulat siya tanong ko at nakita kong namula ang tenga niya sabay iwas ng tingin.

"Uh... 3 years ago?"

"How old are you again?"

"18."

"So young."

"Stephen is younger! He's 17, right?"

"He is." He's going to be 18 next month.

"So... y-you can like me instead you know. I am young." Natampal ko naman ang noo ko.

"I don't like Stephen because of his age." Tumayo na ako at bumuntong hininga.

"I'll court you then!" Sabay tayo niya. "I will make you l-like me." Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. He's such a child.

"Do you even know how old I am?"

"I know, but... older is better, right?" Di ko naman mapigilang matawa.

"Right." Saad ko sabay labas ng secret room.

Now that I think about it. Nawala ang bad mood ko, nandoon ang lungkot, but I know I know I'm clam now. Maybe it's because of my captain.

Rudy changes his mood fast. That's why I couldn't read him. Sometimes, he's cool, sometimes he's fun but most of the time he's quiet. His mood always influence me.

Bat ngayon ko lang iyon napansin?