Wicked Obsession

KABANATA 8

WE ARE BOTH silent while on the ride. Hindi siya nagsalita matapos ang munting halik na nangyari sa'min.

Habang ako naman ay galit. Hindi ko alam–kasi parang gusto ko na maniwala na siya si Silver?

His eyes were not light brown anymore. I thought he is wearing contact lens—pero tama kasi siya. Kung si Sebastian ang nasa harapan ko, baka kanina pa ako noon sinunggaban upang halikan.

I shook my head in annoyance. Kung siya si Silver, talagang naninira ako ng relasyon, and it will ruin me too! I am not a relationship wrecker for pete sake!

Malandi ako, pero hindi ako naninira ng relasyon!

"Are you hungry?"

Hindi ako sumagot at nanatili ang tingin sa bintana. I don't want to talk with him. Nakakairita.

But how come he is not Sebastian? That's impossible! I am so sure that he was Sebastian!

Or I am seeing things because I cannot move on from the past?

"Wala kang gusto kainin—"

"Could you just shut up for a moment?!" I hissed. "Hindi ako gutom! If you are feeling hungry, eat your own!"

Hindi ito sumagot at nagdire-diretso lang sa pagmamaneho. I thought we are going to a drive-through or something, ngunit nakarating lang kami sa farm ng tahimik.

"Cara, this way," aniya noong humiwalay ako.

Napairap ako. Nakakairita!

The sun centers in the sky. Mainit, ngunit presko ang hangin dahil sa puno na tanaw ko mula dito.

It was a wide farm. The horizon seems endless. Hanggang saan ang dulo nito? At ano-anong itinatanim niya bukod sa prutas at bulaklak?

I wanted to ask so much, but my pride cannot let me talk!

"Ser Sebastian!"

Napaamang ang labi ko at nilingon ang lalaki sa gilid. Nakita ko ang pagtaas ng isang kilay niya dahil sa pagtataka.

I was going to accept my defeat already. Naiinis nga ako dahil baka nga namalik-mata lang ako na siya si Sebastian... but a man in his 60's called him!

"Manong," he smiled beside me. "I am not Sebastian—"

Gusto kong matawa noong hinampas siya ng matanda at tinitigan ito ng masama.

"Kakabalik mo nga lang galing sa ibang bansa, tapos ay ganito ka? Ang tagal kitang hinintay bumalik!"

"Manong," naki-intriga ako. "Talaga bang siya si Sebastian?"

"Oo naman! Aba'y ako ang nag-alaga sa dalawang iyon simula pa lang!" Nakangiti sakin ang matanda. "Ang gandang bata mo naman, hija. Pamilyar ka ata..."

Bago pa ako makapagtanong ay hinawakan na ni Sebastian ang matandang lalaki.

"Manong, kumusta po kayo?"

"Ano ka ba?! Ayos lang ako! Natutuwa talaga ako na makita ka dito!"

Napangisi ako. Oh my gosh. I am not a fool! Siya nga si Sebastian!

Nilingon ako nito. "Cara, can you go alone?"

I was fine with that. Wala naman sakin ang mag-isa because in the first place, that was the plan!

"Go ahead. Catch up with manong. Mukhang na-miss ka niya, Sebastian!" Asar ko pa dito. "Where is the office?"

Sebastian told me the directions to office.

He looks very worried because an old man ruin his facade. This is so fun to watch! Nakakatuwang mahuli ang mga nagpapanggap!

"Manong, hindi ba masakit ang likod mo? Bakit pa kayo lumabas?" Iling ni Sebastian at iniwan ako upang alalayan ang matanda.

Tsk. Should I kiss him to sing?

I WAS WITH an old woman helping me roam around the garden of rosemary.

"Ano ang pataba niyo dito?" I asked some details. The flowers are really healthy.

She oriented me about the flowers. Wow, their flowers are exceptional! Wala ata akong nakitang lanta! Pinaghandaan ba nila ito, o sadyang malinis lang talaga ang lahat?

"Mireng! Halika saglit—"

"May kausap ako!" Tanggi noong matanda sa tumawag. "Pasensya na po kayo ah—"

Nilingon ko ito sabay ngumiti. "It's okay... Pwede mo naman puntahan ang tumatawag sayo. Maaaliw naman ako dito," I assured her.

"Naku, hindi po iyon ang bilin ni ser—"

"Don't worry. I won't tell your boss. Balikan mo na lang ako. There are so many flowers here so I will help myself observing them..."

Nagdadalawang isip pa ang matandang babae. But I just smiled at her, at iyon ang kumumbinsi sakanya.

Nilingon ko ulit ang mga bulaklak. Rosemary, then roses, and tulips! Wala pa dito ang sunflower dahil nasa ibang lugar daw!

I squat in front of a rose. It was beautiful and alluring. I bet what makes them more pretty is... they are healthy.

One of my realization in life is... If you are taken care of, beauty will surely come after.

This is the motto of ALTA Skincare line... and my life too.

Sa tao... Kung inaalagaan mo ang sarili mo, the benefits and glow with your body will reflect.

ALTA is really mine. Inutang ko muna ang pera sa Mommy ko, at lumago nga... It became my lifeline. My hope.

I was really devastated before. Na-rehab because of panic attacks... at dahil iyon sa ginawa ni Sebastian sakin.

I was dry, unhealthy, and almost dying. Anak ako ng dating beauty queen, pero malayo ang itsura ko sa ina.. or kahit sa ama.

I am wreck. Sleepless. Distrustful. Hatred. Lahat ng galit at inis ata ay dala ko sa mukha and I did nothing but to blame Sebastian. Kasi, kasalanan naman talaga niya lahat kung bakit ako nagkaganon...

But how come, wala na siya, but I am still blaming him? The stress and ugliness showed in my body.

Take a good care of yourself, and beauty is guaranteed.

I have learned that motto in a very rough way. Noong natapos na ang therapy ko, I started to take care of myself by just simply applying some moisturizer... a skincare...

I feel pretty then. Pakiramdam ko ay nakakalimutan ko ang lahat sa tuwing inaalagaan ang saril. Nakita ko na bumabalik na ang dating sigla sa katawan ko... and then there...

The rest is history. Alta became my savior—and this is for all the people who feels the same way. Gusto ko na... sa gitna ng lungkot na nararamdaman or pinagdadaanan nila... I hope that these products will soothe and boost their confidence.

Na... once they felt my products on their skin... They will feel good and say that they are bigger than their problems.

I mean, looks is a bonus. Pero iba talaga sa pakiramdam iyong... parang sobrang ganda mo?

It's not about being a beauty alone—because being beautiful is a feeling.

"Sobrang lalim ng iniisip mo," Sebastian entered!

Dahil sa gulat ay napaupo ako sa sahig. Dang it!

"Ano ba?! Can't you walk with sounds?!" I hissed in annoyance.

"Hindi mo narinig ang yabag ko. Do you like roses that much?" Nagtatakang tanong nito at nakitingin din. "I bet you love them. You're so drawn with it."

And here I am, coming back to the person who makes me feel worst. Ugly. Drastic.

"I am not. Bakit ka nandito? Why don't you catch up with your Lolo, Sebastian?"

His face flatten. "Ito na naman ba tayo? He is old already. May sakit din siya—"

"Come on, Cara! He have Alzheimer! Sa tingin mo ba ay matatandaan niya kung sino ako?" He hissed on me.

Natigilan ako. Alzheimer?

"So stop it Cara. Hindi ako si Sebastian."

I AM THRILLED an hour ago, pero matapos ang sinabi niya, nawalan ulit ako ng gana!

"This is our barn house. This is a former house of horses, but it's to hot here kaya ginawa na lang imbakan ng dayami," he explained to me.

Ang kaninang matandang babae ay pinalitan ni Sebastian para igala ako. It was not fun anymore!

"Bakit tayo nandito?" I asked him. Wala naman palang kabayo. So why did we even enter?

"Nasa likod nito ang farm house ng sunflower. We separated them because they grow big..." He seems very excited.

The farmhouse was darn big. Mataas ang ceiling nito, at kita ko ang mga kwarda ng kabayo na punong-puno ng dayami.

I was not minding my step, at hindi ko inakala na madadapa ako!

"Dang it!" I wince in pain.

"Cara!" Sebastian hurried to me. Mabilis akong itinayo nito at tinignan. "Are you okay?"

Tinignan ko siya ng masama. "Mukha ba akong okay!?"

Tinignan ko ang kamay. May pumasok na maliit na kahoy doon!

"Anong klaseng tour guide ka!? Bakit hinayaan mo lang ako madapa..." I was raging angry, pero habang tumatagal ay humihina ang boses ko.

I didn't notice the close distance between our face. Ang kamay niya sa beywang ko, at tingin niya sa labi ko. Hindi ko napansin...

"Sinasadya mo ba 'to?" Si Sebastian. "Because I said Sebastian will lay you anywhere once you kissed him?"

Napaamang ang labi ko. Heck no! I was busy looking everywhere! Ngunit wala sa plano ko ang sinabi niya!

"Excuse me? Do you think I will go that low, Sebastian!?" I hissed on him.

Well... I am really planning something low, pero hindi ko aaminin iyon.

Because of his heavy stares, the atmosphere suddenly felt like a burden. Bumigat ang hangin kaya't hindi ko napigilang mainis.

"P-Pwede ba?! Itayo mo na ako!"

Lumapit ang mukha nito, at namungay na ang mata niya! Oh my gosh! This is what I wanted—but I don't know why my heart is pounding so loud!

Kabado siguro dahil nga may girlfriend siya? Pag may girlfriend siya, I will look like a fvcking w***e! And if that happened, my life will end!

"Ano ba—"

I was ready to push him, but he grab my hands and then...

"Do you mind laying your back in this dirty place, Cara?" He husky whispered. Needy.