Love in Sorrow

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18

Graduation

“Do you remembered that I'm the only one who defending you to the student who humiliated you in third year high school?”

Wala sa iyo ang huling alas Flora, now the rumors is spreading in the whole school and her family is facing the most problematic because of her illegal investment property tax and so many on,how do you feel being rendezvous and misogyny of anyone?

She faced me.“If you are here to bullshit my life then get lost 'cause I'm not afraid to you Avina.You still the weak Avina that I know.”

“Maybe I were  maybe I'm not. How do you feel that you already know that my father and your great lier mother has affair it could be a good issue.”

“Ama mo pa din ang nakasalalay duon at hindi lang ako mahihila mo pababa Avina kundi ang pamilya ko din. Your Mom is the first who trying to get your father to my Mom why you are so angrily, I'm the one who must be anger here!”

I pointed at her.“I don't care there nothing I could lose if I do will returned all the pain to you. Dahil ang Mom ko ang naiingit ngayon ikaw at ang sinungaling mong Mom ang naiingit sa akin ang galing.”

“Sumosobra ka na talaga Avina,huwag kang mag-malaki na akala mo kaya mo ang lahat ng tao sa school.”

I raised my brows arrowed.“Bakit mag-susumbong ka sa older sister at sa magulang mo na binubully kita bakit hindi mo sila tawagan ngayon ganiyan kayo ginagamit niyo ang posisyon niyo para matakot ang mas mababa sa inyo dahil wala silang laban sa kagaya niyo. High school student nuon at binully ka ng isang estudyante dahil may sinabi siya na hindi maganda laban sa iyo tapos ipinatawag mo ang Ate mo na may mataas na posisyon sa government. How immature you are?You can't defend yourself to the people around you.”

Hinawakan naman ni May ang kamay ko na parang pinipigilan ako na huwag ng makialam pa sa mga sinasabi niya,no can stop me to what I did right now. Walang gagawa nito at patuloy itong mag-papatuloy kung walang gagawin ang lahat tungkol dito, let's forget the name of friendship now let's embattled the damsel infront of me.

“Akala mo ba hindi ko nadinig na ikaw ang nag-utos kay May at sa iba mong kaibigan na ilagay ang mga poster na ito sa pader.”napasinghap ako ng madinig ang boses ni Paul John habang hawak nito ang cellphone nito,sabay nginitian ako.

I immediately turned my gaze to him, iniharang nito ang sarili sa harap at hawak nito ang cellphone niya at ipini-play ang video na nakunan nito sa corridor ng school namin. I saw the video of her friends while posting the printed copy of my picture and they giggled softly like a evil witch.

She glared then hissed.“So you know what I can do,hindi ko alam na pakialamero pala ang lalaking ito.”

“How dare you to say that Flora, accept the truth that your mother is isang pakawalang babae ang Mom. Kitang-kita ng lahat ng estudyante ang pandaraya mo at pagsisinungaling mo wala kang karapatan na sabihan ng ganiyan si Avina.”ang malakas na mungkahi pa ni Samantha na marahas na itinulak si Flora.

Napasinghap ako ng gawin niya iyon sa kaniya alam kong pinagtitinganan na kami ng ilang estudyante mula sa ibang room na nanonood din sa amin,I'm not the one who start the fight it was her. We are in the open gymnasium to practice our graduation march and our speech, I'm ready to thank those people behind of my achievement also the big four he is the reason why I'm still here and for Paul John help.

“Avina huwag mo na lang patulan iyan mag-sasayang ka lang ng oras para sa kaniya.”ang pigil pa ni May sa akin na ikinatagilid ng mukha ko sa kaniya.

I nodded.“Let's go back to our seat and practice our graduation march. Hindi ko gustong makipagsagutan pa sa iyo Flora mas mabuting ayusin mo ang problema mo.”

“Ang sama-sama talaga ng Flora na iyan, Avina."ang pangmamata pa ni Samantha na iniangkla ang kamay sa akin.

Malalim na bumuntong hininga ako."Hindi mo dapat ginawa iyon, sana hiyaan ko na lang kaso hindi ko kayang mag-papigil sa nararamdaman ko."

Dumaretso kami sa cafeteria para bumili ng maiinom, I felt thirsty while thinking about Mom I know this situation will affected in her life and for me either. Mommy regret what he did I see in her eyes but I tried to catch her up again.

"Hindi mo dapat kinakaawaan ang kagaya niya Ms. Valedictorian, she deserves to be a peace of shit.”May commented on then sit down in the black couch.

I shrugged.“Kung tutuisin si Mom naman ang may kasalanan kaya nagkakagulo ang lahat ngayon.”

“Why your life is so miserable. Just put yourself in her shoes and understand your Mom Avina, she is the most excruciating here.”May replied then grabbed my hand then pinched it slightly.

I gave them a sad smiled."I know how Mom sacrifice all things just to see me growing up with my Dad. I understand her so much and I want to correct some things."

"Avina you can't change the fact here but let me tell you this...it's not so easy but both side of your family has a fault."May replied then bite a slice of cake.

We can't choose to happen like this in our life.Hindi naman natin napipili ang problema na darating sa akin,pero ang ayoko ko lang ay ang masaktan si Mom ng dahil sa kalokohan ni Dad.Anuman oras mula ngayon ay makakarating na din ito sa kanila,bakit pa ako susuko at magpapaka-duwag kung sila ang may kasalanan.

I sighed.“I admitted. But don't want to talk about my life anymore. I'm so ashamed of my parents issues.”

“Ikaw pa din ang magiging valedictorian so congratulations Avina,you really deserve it!”May giggled then grabbed my hands and bounce it.

Samantha take a sip of her strawberry yogurt before to spoke.“Siya naman talaga ang nararapat para duon. I just want to ask the three handsome man that you with. Sino sila?”

“They introduce their selves infront of everyone so why don't ask them.”I said then looked at them.

Kinuha niya ang cellphone niya at sabay ipinakita ang larawan duon ng tatlong member ng the big four boys. I know how exclusive to met them all I need to do something just to be get there service,alam ko na narating ang oras na mag-sisinungaling sila kaya ipinatawag ko na silang apat para walang takas ang kasinungalingan nila.

“Let's welcome our valedictorian this year. Avina Laureen Valenzuela is best in mathematics,best in Filipino as a journalist category, best in english writing and reading, Champion of chess club, leadership award,The first student who featured in Manila bulletin, got 98% in examination,Beautiful demoiselle this year.”

Nakangiting tinanggap ko lahat ng parangal na iniabot sa akin ng panauhin pandangal sa taong ito, after so many months that I'm studying so much this the result of hardworking and waiting for the right time.

“Congratulations!”Our mayor said then extended his hand on me.

I smiled and take his hands.“Thank you Mayor this is not for me but for the student who believe on me.”

“You are the most mature teenager that spoke with, congratulations and keep going no matter what.”he said with a confidently.

The speaker stepping forward to me.“Where is your parents?”

“Hindi sila makakarating kaya huwag niyo na silang intayin pa, masasaktan lang kayo kung aasa kayo.”ang sagot ko pa na kaagad na naintindihan nito ang sinabi ko ng bumulong ang isang teacher namin.

After that all the guest and teachers take a picture together without my family, I'm alone just because of there bussiness trip and they forget about me of how important this graduation.Kailan pa nga ba ako naging importante sa kanila,dumako ang tingin ko sa lahat-lahat ng tao dito sa auditorium. All the medal I received is just a collection of how I treasure my everyday in school.

This is the time that I would give my speech.“Good evening everyone, I'm Avina Laureen Valenzuela,I would like to say thank you for coming here in our graduation and congratulations to the student like me for reaching this milestone of each other life. Sa magulang na hindi nag-sasawang pagalitan tayo para mag-aaral ng mabuti,pagsasaway sa mga noisy sa room,love teams,pagtakas sa klase para makapaglaro ng computer, debate sa teacher, pagakyat sa bakod. Maraming salamat sa pagtitiwala at pagsuporta sa akin ng panahon kinakailangan kong protektahan ang posisyon ko school. Lahat-lahat ng medalya na natanggap ay para sa inyo at may tao akong gustong pag-aalayan ko nito.”

Every day I always have a life and she deserves it more than of me. Nakikita ko kung gaano niya pinapahalagahan ang pag-aaral niya siguro kung wala ako ngayon hindi ko makikita kung gaano kasaya ang mabuhay ng kagaya niya.

“Where she wants to go?”

“What she's doing?”

I walked down the stairs and stepping forward to the one and only student that I want to give this medal the I received, everyone eyes dropped off on what I am doing right now. Lumapit ako sa kinaroroonan ni Klare na nakaupo sa crowd,nagulat lahat ng estudyante ng huminto ako sa harap nito.

Klare was so shocked.“What do you want?”

“She is the reason why I'm pursuing my dreams to be valedictorian because if her, everytime na makikita ko siyang nagtitinda ng gulay at iba't-ibang trabaho para makapag-aral siya para makasabay siya sa amin lahat. Tanging siya ang nakakuha ng atensyon ko sa school nuong una ko siyang makita,gusto kong tulungan ang kagaya niyang estudyante na ang tanging gusto lang ay makapag-aral at makapagtapos lang.”ang mahabang sabi ko pa na ikinatingin ng lahat ng tao sa paligid namin kinuha ko ang lahat ng medalyang natanggap at isinuot iyon sa kaniya.

Naguguluhan na tumingin ito sa akin.“Anong ginagawa mo Avina?May problema ba?”

“Ikaw ang dapat ang maging valedictorian ngayon taon Klare sa lahat-lahat ng sakripisyong ibinigay mo para makapag-aral ka, nakikita ko iyon lahat para sa magulang ko at kapatid mo dahil gusto mo silang bigyan ng magandang kinakabukasan,humahanga ako sa iyo.I want to say thank you for being my friend and classmates, for me you are the only one who taught me the real thing that I need to cheerish for... Achievement is just a reminder of our hardworking and to prove that we could do better than this. Thank you for enlightenment me Klare.”

Hindi man nakikita ng iba ang paghihirap ng iba para makapagtapos sila,kung gaanong hirap ang nararamdaman nila, panlalait,alipusta,halos lahat-lahat ng problema dumarating sa kanila.Walang-wala ako duon kahit gaano hindi ko mapapantayan,kung gaano sila nag-hihirap na makapag-aral araw-araw tumingin ako sa lahat ng tao dito na namangha sa ginawa ko.

I gasped when she stood up then wrapped her arms around me.“Thank you Avina, I promise I won't forget you forever. Hindi ko alam na napapansin pala ng kagaya niyo ang paghihirap ko, darating ang araw na maayos mo ang problema mo sa buhay.”

“Walang anuman.”I said with certainty. I fell so happy when I see her smile in her lips and her tears of joy that she feels.

How I can experience to be happy like that?To smiled like that?Nasa akin ang dapat ka-ingitan ng iba pero kahit kailan walang magagawa ang pera para bilhin ang kasiyahan na nararamdaman ni Klare ngayon.

“Congratulations the valedictorian of the year!”

After the graduation ceremony we all go to the Rosales bar to have fun with May and Samantha, Eumz, Carlo, Zack, Armand, Paul John, Mateo. I can't go home tonight just because, gusto kong mag-pakasaya ngayon gabi at kalimutan muna ang responsibilidad na nakaatang sa balikat ko.

I gave them a toss with the mojito that I'm drinking right now.“You are welcome.”

We are in the private room, mag-katabi ko sina Carlo nasa kanan ko naman si Eumz sa L-shape couch habang kumakanta naman si Zack at Paul John sa karaoke machine. Si Armand at Mateo naman ay mag-kausap sa isang two person couch habang kausap si May at Samantha na halos aakyat ang dugo sa pisngi sa kilig ng makita si Armand.

Do I sound like a bitter person here?They all famed and anyone can like them easily they are all good looking. Holy crap!

“Here my give to all of you, I have to go my children is waiting for me."Mateo said then stood up in the couch and drink the juice.

He is here just to give our gift for us and to congratulate me for winning the game. The case is still continue to fight, I know on of these days our family will posted in all the media platforms,reporter will be interview all the time,everyone eyes is on us.

I try to smiled.“Thank you for being here Mateo I can't thankful enough for you to come here.”

“Goodbye ladies I hope you all go home safely,boys make sure all the ladies is safe.”he added then immediately turned his back to us.

However many women fallen for him 'cause he is caring when it comes to women. All the characteristics that I was looking for a man,he captured what I am thinking about life. Hindi ako makakahanap ng kagaya niya sa mundong ito dahil kakaunti na lang iyon.

“We are here.”

Naunang bumababa si Eumz ng rage rover sport car nito at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto,medyo napadami ang nainom kong liquor pero nasa tama pa akong pag-iisip nahihilo lamang ako dahil sa nainom na mojito.

Lumabas ako ng sasakyan nito bago hinarap ito.“Maraming salamat Eumz sa paghatid sa akin sa bahay. Hindi ka man lang ba papasok muna sa loob?”

Umiling ito.

“Hindi na masyadong gabi na din gusto kong makasiguro na naka-uwi ka ng maayos sa bahay mo.”

“Congratulations sa iyo Eumz,mabuti ka na nakasama mo ang magulang samantalang ako kahit kailan hindi ako pupuntahan ng magulang ko.”ang malamig na wika ko pa na pagak na tumawa siya.

He frowned.“Don't be sad just understand them Avina, baka importante iyon hindi ba?”

“Siguro pero may gusto sana akong sabihin sa iyo, Eumz.”ang pag-iiba ko pa ng usapan namin matagal ko na din gustong sahihin ito.

“Ano iyon?”

Maybe this is the time to say this to not him to expect more from our what relationship it is,hindi ko puwedeng lokohin ang sarili ko na mahal siya masasaktan ko lang ang sarili at pati na ito kung ipagpapatuloy pa namin ang bagay na ito.

I bit my lip apprehensively.“Let's stop this courtship Eumz. I can't see you hoping for my love, hindi ko kayang makita nasasaktan ka ganun din ako,nakokonsensiya ako kapag pinagpatuloy pa natin ito.”

Pinagmasdan ko ang mukha nito at inaantay ang magiging sagot nito,alam kong napadatla sa mga aking sinabi. Nakikita ko sa mga mata nito na nasasaktan ito pero pinigilan nito, kinuha nito ang kamay ko sabay ngumiti pa na parang wala lang ang lahat.

“Why you didn't tell me at first?”he startled said.“I know from the start that I can't captured your heart even I do my all things, because I'm not the prince you are looking for. Thank for the time you spent with me.”

I wiping away my tears hopefully.“Natatakot ako na baka mag-bago ka kapag sinabi ko ito? Pero hindi ka naman lalayo hindi ba?”

He squeezed his head then face me.“No. Sige pumasok ka na alam kong kailangan mong magpahinga para bukas.”

“E..Eumz.”I rushed forward, grabbing his hands.“I'm sorry.”

My face crumpled into tears again.I stayed still,hoping to not cause any more grief. I longed to make him laugh, but there wasn’t anything funny about this. I hadn’t known I was capable of breaking a heart.