Darkest Light

DL 17: Sweet Forgiveness

Vile POV

I'm walking here in the forest. I can feel burning tears from my eyes.

Zion's words are like knives that cuts my soul...

It's so hard to accept that he's mad at me just because I love him. I tried to stop this feeling but I can't. I don't know how to stop myself from loving him.

Maybe, I'm not worthy to become a part of his life; I'm not worthy to become a healer of their guild either.

I'm not a worthy person... I'm nothing...

No one will truly love me. This world is so unfair to me. I can love and care for anyone but no one care about me; about what I feel.

I never plan to do something against Zion. Bakit ganun? Wala naman akong masamang intensyon sa kanya pero nagagalit siya sa akin. Galit na galit siya sa akin.

I hate this feeling of agony. It's too painful for me. I know that he thinks that I'm gross because I love him so much.

Maybe, I should keep myself away from them; from him...

Lalayo na lang ako...

I can't take so much pain and judgment from the people that I care about. I truly care for them; for my friends because they are my family now, but I also know that they don't like me just because I love Zion.

I wiped my tears while walking here in the forest. I've experienced so much painful things from my past so this is nothing compared before.

I heard some footsteps and people who are having a conversation. After a second, I bumped into them.

"Hey... It's the cute dove," Nelson said.

"Hi Vile! You're the one who got this weapon, right?" Vince said.

I looked at him and I'm in shock. He's holding Deus Ve Roca.

"Why are you holding that weapon? How did you get that? Why are you here? This place is a part of Kreterra!" I said nervously.

They all laughed at me...

"Is it not obvious? We stole this weapon and we're heading back to Ruvekha," Helga said.

Ms. Elena should know what happened. They stole the weapon from Kreterra!

I stepped back...

"Where are you going, healer?"

I looked around and June is also here.

All powerful sorcerers from Ruvekha are here! This isn't good!

"You know what? You should come with us," Nelson said while smirking.

I transformed into a dove and I flew quickly away from them...

"You can't escape from us hahahah," Vince said while laughing.

Hinahabol nila ako sa ibaba kahit na mataas na ang lipad ko.

After a second, a blue fire is heading on my direction. I should go back to the guild. I dodged the ball of blue fire quickly.

"Uuuurrggghhh! It didn't hit him!" Helga shouted furiously.

"No worries, I got him," June said.

I looked at them while flying...

June transformed into a crow...

She is flying quickly on my direction. She's faster than me! I can hear her harsh caw...

After a second, I felt sharp claws that scratched my wings. It's June!

She caught me! I can't fight her because my wings are bleeding and I can't fly nicely...

I felt weakness so I fell into the ground. I transformed back into my human form. My arms and back hurts so much and I can feel some scratches that June made.

I opened my eyes and they are all surrounding me...

"Take him!" Ivy said.

Nelson and Vince held my arms so I'm about to scream but they covered my mouth. It hurts so much!

I can't escape from them. They are all too strong for me.

"If you will listen to us, we won't hurt you," Nelson said.

"And don't try to escape again or I will kill you!" June said furiously.

They took their hands off me...

I sigh...

"What do you want from me?" I asked awfully.

"We want you to become a part of our guild," Helga said.

"But-"

"Please listen to us first!" She said.

Nelson held my hand and he looked into my eyes...

"You will become stronger if you will join us. Vile, I'm asking you once again, please join us. We will treat you as a family," Nelson said.

"Please Vile, we need a healer in our guild. I can heal but not as good as you because I fell into black magic," June said.

"Come with us, Vile. Show them that you're Vile. Show them the real meaning of your name. Show them what you truly are," Ivy said.

They want to know who I really am?

Yumuko na lang ako...

"Please join us, you won't regret it..."

I sigh...

My friends and Zion are mad at me because of what I am. They are mad because they knew the true me. They knew that I love Zion.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm weak... I'm no use to your guild," I said awfully.

"Vile, we're gonna train you harder. Unlike Kreterra, they are just using your power; your ability. They don't care about what you feel. I can feel that you are bearing an agony in your heart. You shouldn't control it. You should unleash your rage."

"We're going to give you the greatest gift; freedom. You can do whatever you want without a limit."

Freedom?

All my life, I feel that I'm just a bird inside a small cage. Is this the right time to unleash my rage?

It's hard for me to conceal my pain; my agony...

Should I release everything that I'm bearing inside?

I sigh again...

"Lola Veron said that I should always do what is right. I should always be on the side of bright light. I'm sorry guys, I can't accept your offer..."

They all sigh...

Even if my friends and Zion are mad at me, I shouldn't betray them. I don't want to become their enemy.

"I think Lola Veron trained you so hard to become that kind," June said.

"And you will regret your decision!" Helga said loudly.

Her fists are glowing with a blue fire. Bigla na lang niya akong sinuntok sa tiyan kaya napatalsik ako. It hurts so much! I feel burnt on my stomach.

I feel my tears falling because of the extreme pain that I feel...

"Please, let me go..."

I'm weak... I'm so weak... I can't fight them...

They all released different colors of dark magic circles from their hands. They blasted a multiple dark lights on my direction.

I closed my eyes and after a second, I feel like my body is burning. I want to scream in pain but I can't. I can't open my mouth and I can't also open my eyes but I can feel an extreme pain on my body.

I can hear that they are all laughing...

"You're too weak healer!"

"You're no match to us! HAHAHAHAH."

I feel someone who held my arms...

"We should hang him on this huge tree. We should warn all members of Kreterra that we are this powerful!"

I felt vines that tied up on my arms. I can no longer move but I can feel them; I can hear them...

I am this weak... I don't have the power to defend myself...

No one cares about me. No one loves me...

I'm not worthy to live...

After a few seconds, I can feel that I am losing my consciousness...

•••

I opened my eyes...

"V-Vile! Gising na siya!"

My friends are looking at me. They look awful and nervous...

"How do you feel? May masakit pa ba sa'yo?" Nag-aalalang tanong ni Sandra.

"Vile, what happened to you? Thank God that you're awake. Tatlong araw ka nang tulog," Ms. Elena said.

"I'm sorry if my healing power is not working nicely to you because your body is too damaged. I'm glad that you still survived what happened to you. Ayos lang kahit 'wag ka muna magsalita..." Nag-aalalang sabi ni Lola Veron.

I can feel my warm tears falling from my eyes...

Nakatulala lang ako sa hangin. Hindi ko alam ang dapat 'kong sabihin. Ang alam ko lang ay sobra akong nasasaktan.

I forced myself to talk...

"I-I s-should have died..."

They looked shocked because of what I've said. I started crying because of too much pain...

"V-Vile! Please don't say that! We care for you! I'm your sister right?" Sandra asked.

Tears are falling from her eyes... I can feel that she know what happened to me...

My chest tightened... I am not worthy to become a part of their family.

They don't need me here. I'm no use for them...

I am forcing myself to rise from this bed but I can't...

"What are you doing?" Wanda asked nervously.

"Please Vile, just rest!" Ms. Elena said.

Hindi ako dapat na nandito... Alam ko na wala akong kwenta. Hindi nila ako kailangan. I know that they are just guilty because of what happened to me.

I can't stop my tears from falling...

"Vile, I will try to heal you again," Lola Veron said.

She pointed her hands on me and she released golden magic circles. My body is glowing with a golden light. I can feel that my bruises and wounds are turning into scars.

After a second, she already stopped from healing me. I can feel that I can regain my strength quickly...

"T-Thank you Lola Veron," mahina 'kong sabi.

"You're welcome Vile. Alam mo naman na parang apo na kita," nakangiti niyang sabi.

"And I'm treating you as my brother right?" Sandra asked while smiling.

"If that so, I can be your mother, Vile," Ms. Elena said.

I smiled...

Lola Veron's family are so kind...

"Thank you po sa inyo. Siguro mas mabuti na bumalik na lang muna ako doon sa probinsya," sabi ko.

"Huh? Why?" Wanda asked.

Yumuko na lang ako. Hindi ko naman masabi sa kanila ng harapan ang dahilan.

Sobra akong nasasaktan dahil totoo naman talaga na hindi ako ang karapat-dapat na healer para sa guild na ito.

Napansin ko na siniko ni Sandra sila Rex. They are all nervous.

"Hmmm... Vile, we know that you feel that we are judging you because of what you feel for Zion. I hope that you can still forgive all of us," Rex said.

"Vile, we're really sorry. I know that you can feel how we looked at you before. We're really sorry Vile," Jester said sincerely.

Magsasalita pa sana sila Jared pero inunahan ko na sila...

"It's alright. I don't mind if you judged me. The more important thing for me is that, you can all accept me for what I feel for Zion," I said quietly.

"You really love him, right?" Dexter asked.

I nodded...

They all smiled at me...

"Sandra explained that to us. We understand you. Don't worry, you don't need to keep yourself away from us because we are family here," Rex said.

But still, I'm not worthy for Zion. He's still so mad at me...

"Wag 'kang mag-alala Vile, gagantihan natin ang mga gumawa niyan sa'yo," nanggigigil na sabi ni Wanda.

I shook my head...

"No, I understand them. They are just blinded with wrath. You don't need to avenge me. Besides, I believe that someday, they will also learn to forgive just like I do. I know that they will be kind, someday."

Nagulat ako at bigla na lang akong binato ng unan ni Sandra at Wanda...

"We hate you so much!" Wanda said.

"Yeah! You're too kind!" Sandra said.

"Uuurrgghh! We're so guilty that we judged you!" Rex said.

They are all looking at me... I don't know why I am like this but I can't hold anger to anyone. I can easily forgive and understand people around me.

Siguro kasi, ilang beses na akong sinaktan at pinahirapan. Balewala na sa akin ang ginagawa ng mga taong naliligaw ng landas.

Nagulat ako at bigla na lang bumukas ang pinto. Bumungad sa akin si Zion...

He looks so nervous and awful...

My strength is still regaining but...

Pinilit ko ang sarili ko at bumangon na ako bigla. Nagmadali akong maglakad palabas ng pinto...

Ramdam ko na nagulat silang lahat dahil sa ginawa ko.

Nagulat na lang din ako. Bago pa ako makalabas ay pinigilan niya ako. Zion, held my arm...

"Where are you going, Vile?" He asked nervously.

"Y-you said that you don't want to see me again. I-I should go," I said.

Yumuko na lang siya...

"Hmmm... I think we should go. You two should talk," Sandra said.

They all walked out of the room and they leave me with Zion.

"Vile..." He said.

"Hmmm... I know that you're so mad at me. Don't worry, I will go back into the province. You won't see me again. I'm sorry for keeping a gross secret," I said sincerely.

He looked into my eyes. I can see sadness from him. Siguro ay nakokonsensya siya. His eyes are teary.

"Pasensya na kung naglihim ako. 'Wag 'kang mag-alala, hinding-hindi na ako magpapakita sa'yo. I hope that you can still forgive me after what I did. Sorry kasi bakla ako; sorry kasi mahal lang naman kita..."

His tears fell from his eyes. I don't know what's happening to him.

I know that he want me to leave him. Gagawin ko lang naman kung ano ang gusto niya. I feel bad... I don't know why he is so sad right now.

"Why are you crying? Diba ito naman talaga ang gusto mo, ang mawala ako?" Nag-aalala 'kong tanong.

I bit my lip...

"Let me go... I promise that you will never see me again," I said and my tears started falling again.

"That's it? You will just leave me? What about your promise that you will always protect me and you will do everything for me?"

I'm in shock because of what he said. His voice is cracking and I can feel pain from him.

I looked at him and he is holding the moon necklace that I gave him. Sinuot na niya ulit...

"It turns into blood red when you ran away out of the guild. It turned black when you almost died. I'm sorry if I was too late to protect you," he said sincerely.

"Why are you wearing that? I thought you're mad at me?" I asked with confusion.

"Vile, naiintindihan ko na ang lahat. Sandra told me the truth. I know that everything that I've told you is too painful; too cruel. I'm really sorry. I know that everything that I've said are not true. It's my fault that's why Ruvekha's sorcerers did that to you. I know that what I did to you is unforgivable. I understand if you're really mad at me but I am asking for your forgiveness. I hope that one day, you will learn to forgive me and we will become friends again. I know that you won't forgive me easily so I will earn your forgiveness," he said sincerely.

I looked into his eyes and I can feel sincerity from his tears.

I hugged him tightly...

I can feel that he was shocked because of what I did.

"Are you really sure that you're not mad at me? Do you really understand what I feel for you? Are we friends again, Zion?"

Naguguluhan ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya ganito. He should be so mad at me.

Bigla niya akong kinalas sa pagkakayakap ko sa kanya at tinitigan niya ako sa mga mata ko. He looks so worried and confused.

"Hey! Why are you not mad at me? I thought you will curse me because of what I did to you! Come on! Don't hold your anger! Please get mad at me!" He shouted.

I'm in shock because of what he said...

"Come on! Punch me! Shout at me! Sumbatan mo ako dahil sa ginawa ko sa'yo! I deserve it!" He shouted while crying.

"Huh? Why should I? I'm happy that you accepted me already. Why should I get mad at you? Of course, everything that you've told me is really painful but I will never get mad at you. I understand that you're straight and it's not normal for you to have a guy lover. I will never get mad at you Zion because I love you this much," I said honestly.

Yumuko na lang siya dahil sa mga sinabi ko. Hindi ko talaga siya maintindihan.

"I hate you! You're too kind! I'm so guilty..."

His voice is cracking. He started crying so loud.

"Hmmm... Please don't think of anything. I'm happy that we're friends again. Just let me show how much I love you. I will do everything for you, Zion. I'm happy for you and Sandra. I'm not asking for anything. I just want to become a part of your life," I said sincerely.

Bigla niya akong niyakap at umiyak na naman siya bigla...

"I'm really sorry Vile! I'm sorry! I judged you quickly. Ako na ang nagagalit sa sarili ko at nakokonsensya dahil sobrang bait mo. Sorry Vile... It won't happen again. Malinaw na sa akin ang lahat. Alam ko na mabait ka talaga. Don't worry, babawi pa rin ako sa'yo," he said while crying.

"Really?" I asked cheerfully.

He nodded...

I wiped his tears using my hands...

"Please don't cry. I don't want you to cry. Nalulungkot din ako kapag nakikita kita na malungkot," sabi ko.

After a second, he smiled at me...

Kahit anong mangyari, hindi ko talaga kayang magalit sa mga taong mahal ko. Naiintindihan ko sila. Alam ko naman kasi na mahirap mahalin ang kagaya ko.

"Wait, I will give you something," he said.

May kinuha siya sa bulsa niya. It's a watch pendant with a design of a dove...

It's too beautiful!

"Naalala kita noong nakita ko ito kaya binili ko agad para sa'yo."

"R-really? You are giving that to me?"

He nodded...

Sinuot na niya sa akin ang watch pendant. Sobrang saya ko.

Napangiti na lang ako pero tumulo na naman ang mga luha ko...

"Hey! Why are you crying?" He asked worriedly.

"I-I'm just happy. I'm so happy. You're the first person who gave a gift on my birthday," I said while crying.

He looked shocked...

"Really? It's your birthday today?" He asked.

I nodded...

Biglaan niyang hinatak ang kamay ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang balak niyang gawin.

"Hey! Where are we going?" I asked.

We're just running. Nakatitig na ang mga sorcerers sa amin dahil hinahatak ako ni Zion...

"We're going to have a date. Ito na ang paraan ko para makabawi sa'yo. I will be your boyfriend, just for this day," he said seriously.

I smiled...

I know that he is this sweet. I know that he is this kind...

Alam ko naman na hindi ako nagkamali ng taong minamahal ko. Alam ko naman na mabuting tao si Zion. I know that he deserves my love.

He will be my boyfriend, just for this day? I'm so glad! I never expected this!

Masayang-masaya ako dahil tanggap na niya ako at magkaibigan na ulit kaming dalawa. Msayang-masaya ako dahil naiintindihan na niya 'yung nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.

Ngayon lang may nagbigay ng regalo sa akin, ako lang din naman kasi ang nakakaalam ng birthday ko.

I'm looking at my watch pendant. It's too precious for me... I will protect this special gift from the person that I love.

He will be my boyfriend just for a day but I will always love him for the rest of my life...