Never Descending

Chapter 8

Otherwise

"Here's our contact details, Ma'am."

Tinanggap ko ang inilahad na calling card ng residential agent. I nodded at her.

"I'm still looking out for the best option but you can expect to hear from me once I made up my mind," I formally said.

She smiled and told me that it's fine to take my time. Hindi naman nagtagal ay nagpasalamat na rin ako at umalis.

I'm planning to buy a house but I'm still not sure if I will take a pre-designed one or not. Iniisip ko pa kung mas maganda bang lupa na muna ang bilhin atsaka na lang kumuha ng mga propesyonal na magdidisenyo. I'm not in a hurry though, so I guess I can take things slow in terms of decision-making.

Habang nagmamaneho pauwi ay tumama ang tingin ko sa gym bag na nakapatong sa passenger's seat. Bigla ko na naman tuloy naalala ang nangyari kanina. Napailing-iling ako habang iniisip ang pagkatulala ko sa papalayong pigura ni Ace.

So that explains his reactions over my recent advances, huh? He thought I was taken but still flirting? Well, come to think of it. He did saw me with Caleb one time...

Napapikit ako nang mariin. Ang tanga ko naman. I should have known! Of course he'll think that way.

Humigpit ang kapit ko sa manibela. Nevermind. Ang mahalaga ngayon ay alam ko na. Kahit papaano'y may ideya na ko kung bakit ganun ang naging pakikitungo niya sakin gayong ayos naman kami nung una.

Well.. that can still be a good thing, right? As I try to think of it, basically, hindi niya naman sinabing ayaw niya sakin. Sadyang napangunahan lang siya ng kaisipan na hindi kami pwede. I grinned at my mind tricks and illusions. Yeah, whatever. Let's just think of it that way.

Right now, my mission is to correct his misconception. Kailangan kong klaruhin sa kaniya na mali ang iniisip niya. 

I nodded in conviction. Tama, ganun na nga. 

Kaya naman sa sumunod na araw ay buo ang loob ko na pumunta sa gym. Mas inagahan ko pa nga ang punta kumpara sa normal na oras para lang siguraduhing masasabayan ko siya. Baka kasi mauna na naman siya at matapos agad.

"Cardio circuit na ulit for today," Rian said.

Nasa harap ko na siya ngunit patuloy ang paglibot ng mata ko. Pilit hinahanap ang pamilyar na tindig. Ngunit bigo. Wala pa si Ace.

I shrugged. Maybe I was just too early this time. Tinuon ko na lang muna ang atensyon sa workout para pagdating ni Ace ay makakabwelo na ko sa pagpapapansin sa kanya.

I finished doing burpees, crunches and squat thrusts. Pati push ups at plank ay natapos ko na ngunit wala pa rin si Ace.

Unti-unti nang kumukunot ang noo ko sa paglipas ng mga oras. Sinilip ko ang relo at napagtantong masyado na siyang huli kong pupunta pa siya ngayon.

I done my entire routine without any trace of Ace. I ended up going home feeling unhappy.

Pinilit kong isantabi ang panghihinayang na nadarama. Marahil ay abala lang ulit siya sa trabaho. Sigurado akong pupunta pa rin naman siya sa gym. Hindi ko lang alam kung kelan pero tiyak akong makikita ko pa rin siya roon.

Or... not?

Cause the following day, he still didn't go. And even on the next f*****g day. And on the day after that as well. He's still nowhere to be found. Goddammit. He's skipping so much and I can't take it any longer.

I sighed in frustration.

"Rian," I said. "Haven't you heard of Ace these days?" pagbabaka-sakali ko.

"Hmm?" she mumbled. "He switched schedules. Sa hapon na siya nagji-gym," she nonchalantly said.

My eyes widened in horrification.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Kelan pa?!"

Gulat siyang tumingin sakin.

"I think.. it was the other day? Or the day before that? I'm not sure. Basta napansin ko na lang na ganung oras na siya pumupunta rito," tila lito pang sabi niya habang nagtataka sa reaksyon ko.

My breathing gradually became frantic. Why would he do that? I don't wanna sound absurd but is he avoiding me on purpose?!

I think there's only one way to figure out. Kaya't kinabukasan ay nagdesisyon akong hindi mag-gym sa umaga. Balak kong magtungo roon sa parehong oras ng pagpunta niya.

At hindi naman ako nabigo. Sa entrada pa lang ay agad ko na siyang natanaw sa loob.

Malayo pa man ako ay napansin ko na ang marahas na pagsinghap niya nang magtama ang mga mata namin. He looks displeased with my presence and he's not even trying to hide it. He's damn making it obvious.

Walang kalatoy-latoy na inalis niya ang tingin sa akin at ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa. Hindi na ko nagsayang ng oras at naghanda na para malapitan siya. 

Nang maiayos ko na ang gamit ay walang pagdadalawang-isip na lumapit na ako sa kanya. He was using the cable triceps bar so I pretended to do the same. Wala nang warm up - warm up.

"I see you changed your usual schedule, huh.." I sarcastically said.

I heard him breathed out sharply.

"I think I already made myself clear to you," mariing sabi niya.

For someone evasive, he's still quite straight to the point. I think he might not like beating around the bush too.

Nagkibit-balikat ako.

"You did. But I didn't had the chance to do the same so let me make myself clear too." I said. "I'm not in a relationship with anyone, Ace. I'm very much single for you." I shamelessly said.

Natunghayan ko ang pagsasalubong ng kilay niya sa sinabi ko. I continued before he could even show any violent reaction.

"And that day I started being 'friendly' with you, I've already broken up with my ex. He just didn't get the message directly, which is why you saw him picking me up." I explained.

Pinanood ko ang reaksyon niya. I saw him clenched his jaw.

"It must have been so easy for you to jump from one relationship to another," he concluded using his deep voice.

Natigilan ako. Aangal pa lang sana ako sa sinabi niya nang makarinig ng pamilyar na tinig.

"Iris?"

Lumingon ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses. Namataan ko ang isang pigura sa kabilang gilid ko. My hands stopped using the equipment.

"Sage?" hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko.

I'd say that Sage is the most decent among my exes. He's mentally-mature and has concrete goals in life. Our break up was almost a mutual decision since we both want to focus with our careers. The only thing that I didn't like about our relationship is that it's quite dull and he's always jealous. Kahit sinong lalaki ang makasama ko ay hindi niya maiwasang pagselosan.

We ended it in good terms though and decided to remain friends.

Habang nakatingin sa akin ay nagliwanag ang mata niya. 

"It's really you," he warmly said before casually pulling me into a side hug.

Saglit pa 'kong natigilan dahil sa pagkakatanda ko'y ayaw niya ng PDA. Sure, he's touchy when it's just the two of us but he doesn't like doing it in public. Well, I guess people really change.

It was just brief so he released me afterwards. 

"You didn't reply to my text.."  he stated sounding hurt.

Bigla kong naalala ang tungkol sa ipinadala niyang mensahe na pinagtalunan pa namin noon ni Caleb.

"Ah, yes-" lumipad ang mata ko kay Ace nang maramdaman ang paggalaw niya mula sa pwesto niya. "I was just about to. Nakalimutan ko lang.."

Ace released the handle of the cable bar from his hold. Sinundan ko siya nang tingin nang kalaunan ay kinuha niya ang inumin at tumalikod paalis.

"...so when?" I heard Sage's voice from the background.

Napakurap-kurap ako at binalik sa kanya ang tingin. Mukhang kanina pa siya may sinasabi ngunit hindi ko nakuha iyon.

"Huh? You were saying?" wala sa sariling tanong ko.

Isang beses niya pang sinubukang ulitin ang sinabi niya ngunit hindi ko na iyon maproseso. Hinahabol pa rin ng mata ko si Ace na pumasok na sa men's locker room.

"Sage, I'm sorry. I think.. I'll just text you," aligagang sabi ko.

He looks confused and puzzled by my sudden remark. Hindi ko na pinahaba pa at nagpaalam na sa kaniya. Gumawa na lamang ako ng palusot.

Nang makatakas sa kaniya ay agad na kong kumaripas patungo sa direksyon na pinuntahan ni Ace. Hindi pa kami tapos mag-usap!

I don't know what got in to me. Walang kaabog-abog akong pumasok sa men's para sundan si Ace. Thank God, no one else was around.

Agad na tumama ang mata ko sa kaisa-isang katawan na naroon. Nakatalikod siya sakin at nakaharap sa locker. Wala siyang suot na pang-itaas kaya't kitang-kita ko ang hubad niyang likod.

Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Inasahan ko naman nang maganda ang katawan niya pero.. 

God... he's ripped. f**k it.

Parang ang sarap kalmut-kalmutin ng likod niya tuwing...

"What are you doing here?" his voice thundered in the room.

Ni hindi ko man lang namalayan na humarap na pala siya. 

Napalunok ako bago sinarado ang pinto sa likod ko.

"We aren't.. done talking yet," I slowly said.

Kumunot ang noo niya habang galit ang mga mata. Inilang hakbang niya 'ko.

"Get out." he said.

Nang makalapit sakin ay hinawakan niya ang braso ko at sinubukang buksan ang pinto.

"No!" I stubbornly said.

I pulled my hand from his hold and even push him a bit. Napaawang ang labi niya sa ginawa ko.

Inatrasan ko ang pinto para tuluyang maisara dahil bahagya itong bumuka nang pihitin niya kanina.

And then I took off my tank top, leaving me with my sports bra.

Something flashed in his eyes. He grimly looked at me in annoyance.

"What the hell are you doing?" he scowled.

"What?" I spat. "Ang init dito!" reklamo ko saka bumaba ang tingin sa suot. "This is still decent anyway. What's your problem?"

I'm being serious. Mainit talaga kaya ko hinubad yung pantaas ko. Also, he went too close! It just made the temperature higher.

Natigilan ako nang makarinig ng pagpihit ng doorknob mula sa labas. It looks like someone's about to get in.

I heard Ace mutter curses before he forcefully prevented it from opening. He even locked it with strength.

Halos hingalin siya matapos iyon.

Tumaas ang kilay ko.

"Oh? Ba't may palock-lock ka na?" makahulugang wika ko.

He looked at me angrily.

Ngumisi ako. 

"Ace, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not a playgirl or something. Well.. yes, sabihin nating mabilis ako maka-recover sa past relationships ko. But that's not entirely bad, isn't it? What's over is over. That's just it."

I know my principles may not sound very convincing for others. But as long as I'm on the legally right track, then I think there's nothing wrong with it.

Nagtiim-bagang siya at nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Just.. leave," he blandly said.

Tumuwid ako ng tayo nang may maalala pa.

"And also, that guy from earlier, I'm not with him. Ex ko lang din 'yun," paniniguro ko dahil baka kung ano na naman ang isipin niya.

Sarkastikong umangat ang sulok ng labi niya habang hindi pa rin ako tinatapunan ng tingin.

"You have a pretty long list of exes huh.." he muttered without any hint of humor.

Halos magtayuan ang mga balahibo ko dahil sa boses niya.

I swallowed while trying to muster up my confidence again. 

"Hindi 'no. I only had four," I boastfully said. Then I cleared my throat. "Anyway I meant what I said. I really wanna be close to you. We can start off as... friends," tila hindi pa siguradong sabi ko.

This time, his eyes finally found its way back to me. His brow even slightly lifted.

"I have enough friends. I don't need more." aniya.

I stopped my self from crossing my arms and just lifted up my chin instead.

"Fine. Don't be my friend then. Just be my.. boyfriend instead." hamon ko sa kanya.

Hindi na blangko ang ekspresyon niya tulad ng mga nakaraan. I think I'm even seeing a slight flicker of amusement in his eyes.

Nahigit ko ang hininga ko nang humakbang siya papalapit sakin. Agad akong binalot ng init na nagmumula sa katawan niya.

He didn't take away his intense gaze on me.

"Then.. what?" he whispered. "Be one of your exes later on?" he silently hissed. "No way."

Mariin ang pagkakasabi niya. May pinalidad at paninindigan. My heart hammered inside my chest. 

Pinilit kong tapatan ang lalim ng tingin na ipinupukaw niya sa mga mata ko.

"How about..." lumunok ako. "f**k buddies?"

My voice was almost inaudible. I don't know why I'm suddenly questioning my life choices at this last minute.

It was followed by a defeaning silence. Yet he never once broke his direct stare on my eyes. 

Mas lalong kumalabog ang puso ko nang lumapit pa siya nang husto sa akin. Sagad na ang pagkakalapat ng likod ko sa pinto. Kaunti na lang ay tila nakakulong na ko sa katawan niya.

"What?" he quietly urged.

Inangat niya ang isang kamay niya at inilapat ang palad sa pinto na nasa likod ko. Now he's practically locking me in place.

Tumikhim ako para sagutin ang tanong niya.

"f**k buddies. No strings attached. Let's do that." I muttered in almost a whisper.

Something flared in his eyes. He went even much closer to me, almost crashing my body with his. I nearly gasped when I felt something as hard as steel pocking my thigh.

I'm too expert not to tell what it was. A f*****g erection. It's massiveness is unbelievably making me madly wet already. I suddenly find it hard to breathe.

I felt chills down my spine when I saw his eyes dropping down on my body. Scanning it with shrewdness and penetration.

Then he slowly lowered down his face on the side of my face until his mouth is just right beside my ear.

My nerves vibrated in anticipation for his answer.

His hot breath brushed my skin as he parted his lips.

"No." he strenly said.

It didn't even register to me because I was too preoccupied with the rigidity of his member down my leg.

You firmly declined but your body is saying otherwise, Mister.

Nice try.