Never Descending

Chapter 2

Responsibly

"Hello?" bungad ko pagkasagot ng tawag.

I lazily slumped on my bed with my knees and strolled towards the center through it. Nang makarating sa gitna ay inangat ko ang comforter para tuluyan nang makahiga sa kama.

"Babe.." I heard Caleb's steady breathing from the other line.

Inayos ko ang pagkakalapat ng phone sa tainga ko habang nakahiga. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table to check the time. It's already past eleven in the evening. I was already about to sleep when I received his call.

"Yes?" I softly said.

"I have to meet a client early in the morning tomorrow," marahang wika niya. 

I slowly nodded although he couldn't see. Caleb is a Marketing Manager and him being busy is not new to us.

"Alright.. so?" I asked.

"Going to the gym won't be possible," he said.

Tumango ulit ako. It's already been a week since we started going to the new gym and so far, everything's going smoothly. We're not experiencing any kind of trouble.

"That's fine.." I assured him.

I heard his tongue clicking.

"That means.. we have to skip workout tomorrow," he muttered.

My brow shot up.

"You mean, you have to skip workout tomorrow." I clarified.

He turned silent for a while.

Nanatiling nakaangat ang kilay ko.

"It's only you who's skipping, Caleb. Of course I would still go." I chuckled although I know he doesn't find this funny. 

Kalaunan ay narinig ko ang munting buntong-hininga niya.

"I know you would.." he murmured in defeat. "I was just trying my luck,"

Ngumisi ako.

"I can drive myself to the gym, don't worry." dagdag ko pa kahit alam kong hindi naman iyon ang inaalala niya.

"I won't be there to protect you when someone tries to harass you again, though." he stated.

Napairap ako.

"I don't need some saving, Caleb. You know I can fight for myself," I said.

His even breathing was all I can hear from the phone.

"Alright. Let me pick you up though. I at least have some time to drop you tomorrow," aniya.

Tumanggi na kong magpahatid ngunit sabi niya'y may sapat na oras naman daw siya para roon. Dagdag niya pa ay matatapos din daw ang meeting sa parehong oras ng tapos ko sa gym kaya't masusundo niya ako.

Kaya naman sa sumunod na umaga ay ganun nga ang nangyari. I wore a dry fit backless tank top and a yoga leggings this time.

"Good morning," he greeted before giving me a kiss.

I smiled before wearing my seat belt.

I played some music while he was driving. Nag-usap kami tungkol sa trabaho at sa proyekto niya sa bagong kliyente.

"By the way.." he started.

Bumaling ako sa kanya nang may maaliwalas pa ring ekspresyon.

"I saw your latest upload," he simply said.

Both my brows lifted while I still got the same small smile. My latest vlog is simply about a day in my life. Kasama rin don ang mga karaniwan kong pagbabahagi ng mga sarili kong sentimento tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay. I share my perceptions and views on the most random things.

"Really? That's nice.." I commented.

I saw his adam's apple moved.

"Though.. I think you should just stay away from the government issues, babe." he gradually said.

Unti-unti akong natigilan.

"What?" I weakly said in quite a small voice.

He swallowed. 

"I just think it would be better not to be too political on your vlogs, Iris. I mean.. won't it be safer that way? You might just lose subscribers if you keep on speaking up about it especially now that not everyone has the same opinion on things," he uttered.

Tuluyan nang nabura ang kaninang maliit na ngiti mula sa labi ko.

He glanced briefly at me. Ramdam ko ang pananantya sa mata niya.

"I'm just concern about your career, Iris. In times like this, I think it's better to just keep your mouth shut. Especially for an influencer like you who has an image to protect.."

Nanatiling nakaawang ang labi ko habang hindi makapaniwalang nakatitig sa kaniya.

Fuck. 

Is this for real? Seryoso ba siya?

I averted my gaze from him in frustration. My mind is getting clouded as I try to process every word that he said.

"Tangina.." I can't help but whisper.

He turned his head on me for a while. 

"What?" he asked.

I bit my lip as it lifted into a dismayed curve. I subtly shook my head unbelievably.

"You know what Caleb.." I started in a small voice. "You, being apolotical is one thing but you, stopping me from making myself heard is another." I sternly said.

I've been very patient with him. I've always tried to inform him about the things that I think he should know as a citizen but he refuse to be aware all the time. As much as I want to respect our differences when it comes to political views, I think he stepped beyond the line this time.

Lumunok siya. "Iris-"

"I'm sorry but I won't get swayed by your so-called concern, Caleb." I cut him off before he even say something stupid again. 

"I will continue to speak up, inquire, and get involved because my voice matters. I have the f*****g right and responsibility to do so as a Filipino. Now if you have nothing constructive to say, then I guess your advice must apply to you instead. Just shut up instead of making me zip my mouth because you're not being helpful."

My words left him uneasy the whole ride. I, on the other hand, kept on straight-out showing my displeasure. Panay ang irap at pambabara ko sa kaniya sa bawat subok niyang lusutan ang mga pinagsasabi niya.

"I told you.. I'm just worried.."

Paulit-ulit lang ang mga sinasabi niya kaya't hindi na 'ko nag-aabala pang itago ang iritasyon. Kahit nang dumating na kami sa gym at hininto niya na ang sasakyan ay patuloy pa rin ang pagsasalita niya.

"Iris, it's just that-"

"Caleb, ayokong makipag-usap sa walang pakialam sa bayan." I remarked. "Wag ngayon. Please lang."

He sighed.

"Okay.. I'll see you later." he said. "I'm sorry.. It's just that I don't think I need to meddle with those things." he turned to me. "You're everything that I need, Iris."

I cringed in front of him at what he said.

"Ang sakit mo sa ulo." inabot ko ang pinto ng sasakyan. "Umalis ka na nga lang,"

Naiiling na binuksan ko ang pinto. He reached for my arm.

"Don't you think you're being too harsh on me?" he asked. "I already said I'm sorry,"

I chuckled with zero humor.

"Anong gusto mo? Tapatan ko pa yung 'you're everything that I need' mo? Okay.." umayos ako ng upo habang nakabaling sa kanya. "You're the coffee that I need in the morning, Caleb." I blandly said.

Saglit na kumalma ang itsura niya ngunit kalaunan ay gumuhit ang kunot sa noo niya.

"But.. you don't drink coffee, Iris.." he slowly said upon realization.

I rolled my eyes. "Exactly, Caleb. I don't need you,"

Walang pagdadalawang isip na tinanggal ko ang pagkakakapit niya sa braso ko at saka bumaba mula sa kotse niya. I walked inside the building with a heavy heart. 

Ah. I knew it. I should have just drove myself in here. I'm still internally infuriated.

Sa nadaanang hallway ay nakita ko ang karaniwang malaking salamin sa dingding. I stopped as an idea popped inside my head. The situation suddenly urges me to do something. I then fished out my phone and took a mirror selfie with my gym attire.

I typed a caption before posting it to my i********: story.

Not workout related but anyway:

#JunkTerrorBill

#DefendPressFreedom

#MassTestingNowPH

#StopTheKillings

#ProtectedBikeLanesNow

#CommutersNaman

#NoToJeepneyPhaseout

#SaveLumadSchools

#MassTransportNow

#NoStudentLeftBehind

#BalikPasada

I stared at it in satisfaction as I wait for it to be posted. 

My mind unconsciously flew back to Caleb and his litany and so I shook my head. What did he say again? I'll lose subscribers by doing this? What a shallow point. I don't care how much followers I lose. What's more important is that for my every attempt to post something like this, there's at least someone who's being conscious and awaken about these matters. And that's all that counts.

Caleb seriously need to open his eyes and mind already. Also, he's really starting to get in my skin these days. Nung isang gabi lang ay pinagbawalan niya 'kong lumabas kasama ang ilang kaibigan ko dahil hindi raw siya makakasama. We fought about it too. He's starting to get immature and irrationally territorial.

And this is what I really don't like when it comes to commitment. I don't like being controlled and manipulated as if I'm some kind of slave in the relationship. I sighed to ease the heaviness in my chest. Maybe.. it's time to end this, then. 

Nang matapos ang pinagkakaabalahan sa telepono ay umangat ang tingin ko sa salamin. Natigilan ako nang may mapansin sa likod ng repleksyon ko.

My lips parted as I watch the familiar figure walking straight towards the entrance of the gym. It's him. It's the same guy who bought me a drink last time. He's wearing a different clothes from last time but I'm sure it's him. His built was remarkable. And of course.. my eyes dropped down.. to his.. rear.

Napakurap-kurap ako. I can't believe I'm really seeing him in flesh right now. Matapos ang unang araw namin sa gym na ito kung kailan binigyan niya 'ko ng inumin ay ngayon ko pa lang ulit siya nakita. I just realized by now how I've been unconsciously looking for him. I'm almost thinking that he might not be a regular in here or something. But now he's here!

I swallowed as I started to make my way towards him. I at least want to thank him for last time. Medyo nakalayo na siya kaya't dinoble ko ang bilis ng bawat hakbang para makahabol.

"Hi," I smoothly greeted when I was able to reach his side.

He stopped walking. Then he turned to me.

Nag-parte ang labi ko nang masilayan ang mukha niya. 

Fuck.

Tangina. 

Ang gwapo.

My throat went dry. Seeing a handsome guy isn't new to me. All my exes got striking looks. But.. this one. This one is.. different. I don't know. He seem to have a different effect on me.

He has given his full attention solely on me and it's making me feel on the edge. I saw him reach for his other ear to take off his airpod so he could hear me. His brow slowly lifted.

I cleared my throat as I realize that he's waiting for me to talk.

I flashed a smile on him.

"I was that girl in front of the vending machine last week. Thank you for the drinks," I said.

No bizarre recognition flashed on his eyes. I was waiting for it but nothing came. He later on nodded a bit, though. I mean it when I say a bit.

"You're welcome," he nonchalantly said. 

He then eventually got back on his stride. He turned his back on me as if he doesn't have any moment to waste because his time is precious. He walked away while I was left there, still caught up from his voice. His masculine sound drowned me.

My eyes followed him in awe.

I blinked dreamily as I realized something.

I'm.. attracted.

Shit.

Another reason to end it with Caleb already.

I didn't think twice when I took out my phone to send him a message.

Iris Everleigh:

Caleb, I'm sorry. Let's break up. 

I know we would still have to formally talk together but this will do for now.

Muling umangat ang tingin ko.

The corner of my lips unconsciously raised into a sly grin.

Malandi na kung malandi. But at least, I landi responsibly.