Never Descending

Chapter 15

Glorious

"I'll drive you there,"

Napahinto ako sa pag-aayos ng buhok nang marinig kong magsalita si Ace. Bumaling ako sa kanya at naabutan siyang binubutones ang cuffs ng polo niya.

"Won't you be late for your morning schedule?" tanong ko bago kalaunan ay binalik ang tingin sa salamin.

Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang suot ko. Pina-dry clean ni Ace ang damit ko kagabi kaya't nagdesisyon akong ito na lang ulit ang suotin. Nagising na lang ako kanina na malinis na ito at nakahanda na. I seriously wonder how early he woke up considering the fact that we were both so spent up last night. He's unbelievable.

"Greenbelt is not far away, Iris. I'd still arrive on time for sure," I heard him say.

Napag-usapan namin kanina ang tungkol sa firm na tinutukoy ko kaya't alam niya na rin ang lokasyon noon.

Nang makuntento na ko sa itsura ko ay dinampot ko na ang clutch at tinanggal ang tingin sa salamin.

I shrugged at what he said as I turn to him. "Well.. if you say so. Pero kung out of the way, ayos lang naman na mag-book na lang ako ng cab. I can take care of myself, don't worry."

Mukhang tapos na rin naman siya nang damputin niya na ang nakahandang itim na suit. He them turned to me and gazed straight to my face. 

Umangat ang kilay ko nang medyo tumagal ang tingin niya.

He sighed.

"I don't think I can let you commute at your state,"

Unti-unting kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya bago ako napahalakhak. 

"What?" I chuckled. "Why? What's my state?" I mockingly countered.

He doesn't seem to find the humor from it as he remained serious while looking at me.

"You're.." his eyes subtly scanned downwards. "..sore."

Dahan-dahang nabura ang kurba sa labi ko kasabay ng munting pag-init ng pakiramdam ko. I rarely blush and I'm not even sure about the reason behind it right now.

Bumalik ang tingin niya sa mata ko. He stared directly into my eyes.

"I feel liable for making you feel that way, Iris." he said. "Let me take responsibility,"

His formality over something so steamy provided distance between my lips. I want to think that it's absurd. That he's just overreacting. But that's not what's on my mind right now. That's not what I am feeling.

Because deep down inside, there's this ticklish sensation inside my stomach that seems to relish the situation.

His words were enough to pipe me down. I fell a little silent while we were on our way down the building to go to his car.

Pagpasok ko pa lang sa kotse ay agad na tumunog ang telepono ko para sa isang tawag. Binagsak ko muna pasara ang pinto bago iyon kinuha sa loob ng clutch ko.

Sage Alonzo calling...

My questioning eyes stared at it before I decided to swipe the screen and answered it. Nilapit ko sa tainga ang phone at hinintay na magsalita ang nasa kabilang linya.

"Iris?" he greeted.

"Yes?" I asked.

My eyes unconsciously flew to the rearview mirror and I saw Ace habitually taking a glimpse of me. Sinimulan niya na rin ang makina ng sasakyan at pinaandar ito.

"I was just wondering if.. maybe... you'd wanna go out today?" Sage uttered while rather sounding unsure.

Saglit ulit na naligaw ang mata ko sa katabi. His brief glances have already ended and his eyes are now sticked on the road.

"I can't, Sage." diretsong sabi ko. "May lakad ako ngayon.."

"Oh.." he slowly said. Disappointment was evident in his voice. "That's fine. I'll just text you again next time," I can almost picture him out forcing himself to smile.

Hindi naman nagtagal ay nagpaalam na rin kami sa isa't isa. Pagkababa ko ng tawag ay binalingan ko saglit si Ace habang pinapasok sa clutch ang phone.

"Sorry about that," wika ko. "Tumawag lang yung kaibigan ko." I know he didn't ask but I just feel like I have to tell him.

Nang wala akong marinig mula sa kaniya ay lumingon ako sa gawi niya. I just saw him nod his head a bit.

Nang wala nang muli pang magsalita ay binalot kami ng katahimikan hanggang sa makarinig ako ng tipid na tikim mula sa kaniya.

"You're friends with your exes?" he asked without looking at me.

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. I suddenly wonder how he knew that I was referring to my ex a while ago.

Nang hindi agad ako nakasagot ay saglit niya kong tinignan mula sa salamin sa harap.

"The guy from the gym last time," he suddenly filled up as if he knew what I was thinking. "I think I heard you mention his name from the call," aniya saka nag-iwas ng tingin.

Dahan-dahang bumilog ang bibig ko nang maiproseso ang sinasabi niya. Right. Sage approached me in the gym last time. The name probably rang a bell when Ace heard it again for the second time.

Nagkibit-balikat ako.

"Well.. not really," I honestly said. "That guy is the only one I'm on speaking terms with. Our split up was mainly a mutual decision so we're good."

Sumandal ako sa backrest at pinagkrus ang mga braso. I decided to continue talking when he still didn't say anything.

"But with my other exes? Nah," I dismissively said. "I'd rather not hear anything from them."

I might never had any break up without a proper closure but that doesn't mean that all those parting ways were harmonious. I think some relationships are just inevitable to end badly and it's totally fine to cut any form of connection with that person if that's what would give you a peaceful life.

Bumaling ako sa bintana pagkatapos ng sinabi ko. The car was then again filled with a deafening silence when no one dared to talk once more. Not until Ace opted to break the hush.

"Usually..." he started. "..what's the reason behind your break-ups?"

Kinalas ko sa pagkakakrus ang mga braso ko habang sinusubukang pag-isipan ang tanong niya. I didn't expect him to ask further about this topic though. I wonder why he's curious.

"Hmm," I mumbled. "For my first relationship, I guess we were both so young for it back then. Plus my boyfriend was very immature and controlling," I paused for a while as I think about the next ones.

"The second one was mainly an issue of choosing our career first. Then the third guy was.. irrationally jealous all the time." I said. "While for the last one.. I guess, trust and privacy conflicts mostly hit the peak but there were other minor issues prior to that,"

Lumingon ako sa kaniya nang matapos. His arm flexed as he maneuvered the car at the intersection. 

It took him quite a long while to speak again.

"So in conclusion... you don't like anyone taking away your independence," he slowly said.

I stayed still on my seat at his statement. Nanatili ang tingin ko sa kaniya kahit hindi naman siya nakaharap sakin. Abala siya sa pagmamaneho ngunit nang hindi ako agad na nakasagot ay nilingon niya ko sandali.

I averted his gaze before clearing my throat.

"Well.." I paused. "Yeah.. maybe you can say I value my rights and my freedom so much." medyo mahinang sabi ko. "But that's actually not too much to ask." I abruptly added to defend myself. "Especially if the person really respects you,"

Now I suddenly wonder what he's thinking after everything that I said. Does he think it's a bad thing for a girl to be very freewheeling? I know most guys prefer girls who are mostly dependent on them and those who can pamper all their jealousies but I'm just really not like that.

Nang hindi pa rin ako makarinig ng kahit ano mula sa kaniya matapos ang ilang sandali ay hindi ko alam kung bakit tila hindi na ko mapakali. Mukha siyang may malalim na iniisip at gusto kong malaman kung anong tumatakbo sa utak niya.

All of a sudden, I can't help but be curious about his type of girl. Based from his orderly character, I think he would prefer someone who's demure and tamed. Sa mga naiisip ay tila unti-unting sumasama ang pakiramdam ko.

I tried to brush away the ugly thoughts by mentally shaking my head. I then crossed my arms on my chest to regain my composure.

"Ah basta." I defeatedly said. "If they can't stand me for who I am, then maybe we are never really meant for each other from the very beginning." I stated. "Yung first boyfriend ko nga, hindi ko lang napagbigyan nang isang beses humanap na agad ng iba."

I rolled my eyes in disgust. "Men are trash talaga," 

I snorted as I face the window on my right.

"Agree." I heard Ace remarked.

Nanlaki ang mata ko at napabaling sa kaniya. I can't help but gasp in surprise.

"You agree?" I exclaimed. "That men are trash?!"

Hindi makapaniwalang tumunghay ako sa kaniya. I used to nonchalantly blabber this sensitive phrase around other guys before and of course their bruised egos always get hurt. 

Kaya ngayong may lalaking sumang-ayon sa pariralang iyon ay hindi ko maitago ang pagka-windang. I blinked repeatedly while still in shock when he didn't say anything.

"How come you concedes? Other men would rather get offended when they hear that," I unbelievably said.

His eyes remained earnestly glued on the road while his hands are rotating the steering wheel.

"I know it's not used to generalize all men, Iris. Domestic abuse, rape culture, victim blaming, and emotional manipulation are some relevant matters which that phrase is used to bring awareness to." he clearly stated.

My lips slowly parted in awe.

He threw me a sideway glance before returning his eyes ahead.

"It's just used to voice out frustration at a misogynistic and patriarchal society. It is not meant to undermine men but to challenge those who defend fragile masculinity." he added.

Tumagal ang manghang tingin ko sa kaniya. I don't remember hearing him talk alot. I can actually say that he's a man of few words. But damn. When he opens his mouth, he speaks wisdom.

Sa pagkatulala ko sa kaniya ay ni hindi ko na namalayan na huminto na pala ang sasakyan. 

Natauhan lang ako nang iangat niya ang palapulsuhan niya para tignan ang relo.

"I'll pick you up for lunch," he gently said. "Let's eat together."

Kalaunan ay umangat ang tingin niya sakin. His delicate eyes meet mine. My insides instantly wobbled at the contact.

My mouth involuntarily released a sigh as I felt weak from within.

Indeed. Not all men are trash. 

This glorious guy in front of me is a living testament of that.