Mental Disorder Series 3: Sinful Touch

Chapter 26

Chapter 26 | ST

“I cannot believe that Cadence has a younger brother!” I exclaimed.

He smiled at me. Sobrang ganda ng ngiti niya at mestizo siya. His hair was in a clean cut and Kai looks like Cadence but a lighter version. Cadence has more rough and ruthless features than his younger brother. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt and pants, with a Rolex on his wrist. 

He chuckled. “Uhm yeah. I am his half sibling and I live with my parents. I always come here to see him but he doesn’t want to see me, which I understand.”

His smile brings out the sunshine and rainbows to other people with a dimple etched on his cheeks. Bumungisngis ako at uminom ng hot choco. Naramdaman ko na nagvibrated ang phone ko hudyat na may nag message sa akin. 

From: Cadence

I still love you, Kyla. But I always respect your decision. Where are you? Are you home?

Napanguso ako at pinasok ko sa loob ng handbag ko ‘yung bag at muling tiningnan si Kai ngayon. Tumikhim ako at inayos ko ‘yung pagkakaupo ko sa upuan. 

“Ano ang pag-uusapan natin tungkol kay Cadence?” I asked.

“Are you aware of what happened to him? When I became a teenager, I always asked my father about him and he told me that he was adopted by an elite family. But the rest of the story I got from my nanny before. She saw everything when Kuya used to live with my parents,” he explained. Nakita ko na lumungkot siya nang mabanggit niya si Cadence. “My mother really hates him to the point she physically hurt him. Mom locked him in the attic for a week without food. She always told him how she hates him so much and told him he should be dead. Luckily, Cadence survived and he was able to escape from my mother.”

I covered my hand on my lips. I was utterly shocked upon his remark. Now I understand why Cadence is suffering from depression. Kaya lagi siyang inaalagan ni Lola Isabel noon at binibigay sa kaniya lahat. Nabanggit nga sa akin ni Lolo Ronaldo na may session siya sa kaniyang psychiatrist. 

“It was awful…” I commented. How could a mother do that to her own child? Grabe pala pinagdaanan ni Cadence sa kanila pero ang alam ko lang masyadong mababaw sa nakaraan niya. “Why would your mother do that to your brother? He was a child.”

He huffed. “Cadence is a love child from my Dad’s mistress. But Kuya was able to get Dad’s surname but Mom was not happy about it. Her biological mother died when she gave birth to him. Kaya inako na rin siya ni Dad at pinalaki siya sa puder nila.”

“Hindi pa rin dapat niya pinahirapan si Cadence. Wala naman kaalam-alam si Cadence sa isyu nilang dalawa pero pinarusahan niya pa ito. What was your father’s reaction?”

“Apparently, Dad was very mad at Mom because Kuya really doesn’t deserve that. Hindi lang daw masikmura ni Mom makita si Kuya kasi galing siya sa kabit ni Dad. So binabawi naman si Kuya Cadence nung ten years old siya, pero mas malala lang ginawa ni Mom.”

“Oh my…” I trailed off. I wanted to run to Cadence and give him a hug. He doesn’t deserve the pain he got from her mother even though she was not his biological mother. “Now I understand why Lola Isabel is very protective of him and she always takes care of him like her own child too.”

He licked his lips. “Sinubukan kong lapitan si Kuya Cadence pero ayaw niya na ako kausapin. Gusto ko lang naman malaman niya na kahit papano may kakampi pa rin siya at tinuturing ko talaga siyang kapatid. But I guess… he was very traumatic.”

Hanggang sa naalala ko nung nasa resort kami for an important visitor. She was Melanie Hamilton at pinakilala ko pa siya sa kaniya. After no’n ay wala sa sarili si Cadence. Ngayon ko lang napapagtagpi-tagpi ang nangyayari. Kailangan ko lang ng confirmation mula kay Kai.

“May I ask? What’s your mother’s name?” I inquired.

“Oh, she’s Melanie Hamilton. Why?” he answered.

I felt my whole body still. My hands were freezing and shaking while imagining Cadence starving to death just because her mother doesn’t like her. I should’ve let him love me and I should take care of him, too. I was just selfish but I was very scared for my family once they found out about my feelings for Cadence.

“I’m sorry. Are you okay? Alam ko grabe na nangyari sa kaniya kaya gusto ko humingi ng tawad in behalf of my Mom. But I am delighted to see him happy with your family,” he continued. He sipped on his coffee while looking at me. “Do you want to go home? Hatid na kita sa inyo kung ayos lang sa’yo.”

I bit my bottom lips. Sa totoo lang parang ayaw ko na tanggihan ‘yung offer ni Kai kasi gabi na rin naman. Baka hinahanap na ako nila Lolo’t Lola sa mansiyon. He looks friendly and looks like a boy next door type. 

Tumayo na ako at sinukbit ko ‘yung handbag kong Gucci sa aking braso. Binulsa niya na ‘yung phone niya at ngumiti. Parang masaya naman kaibiganin ang kapatid ni Cadence. Pwede naman ata kami maging kaibigan. 

“Let’s go, Kai. Baka hinahanap na ako ni Lola Isabel.”

“Okay. Just tell me where you live.”

“Sa BGC lang naman. Ikaw ba?”

Patuloy lang kami sa pag-uusap habang naglalakad palabas ng cafe shop. Pinatunog niya ‘yung car key para makita namin ‘yung sasakyan niya. It’s a Sonata Hyundai colored black with tinted windows. Pinagbuksan niya ako ng pintuan sa shotgun seat at binigyan ko naman siya ng ngiti.

“Thank you, Kai…” I muttered. Parehas talaga sila ni Cadence na gentleman. He showed me his lopsided smile and jogged to the driver's side. 

Nang buhayin niya na ‘yung makina ng sasakyan niya ay napatingin ako sa bintana. Ang kaniyang pokus ay nasa kalsada lang pero may mga times na tinitingnan ako para bigyan ng ngiti. He always smiles at me. Parang may humaplos sa puso ko dahil magkahawig sila ni Cadence. 

Thirty-five minutes had passed, and we finally arrived at Salvador's Mansion. Binaba ko ‘yung binata para makita ako ng guard. Kumaway naman sa akin mga guard at binati. Kilala naman ako rito since tuwing bata ako palagi ako dumadalaw kila Lola. Huminto na kami sa front yard at pinalibot niya lang ‘yung tingin niya sa lugar.

“Your family is indeed extravagant and wealthy,” he commented. He squinted his eyes while looking at the big door. “Is that Kuya standing there?”

Kumabog ‘yung puso ko. “S-Siya nga. Baka hinahanap na ako.”

“Ako na lang hihingi ng tawad kasi na late ka na umuwi dahil sa akin. I’ll talk to Kuya Cadence.”

Nauna na siya bumaba sa kaniyang sasakyan. Kinakabahan ako dahil madilim ang ekspresyon ni Cadence habang mariin ang titig niya sa sasakyan. Nang buksan ni Kai ‘yung pintuan ay nilahad niya sa akin ‘yung kamay niya. Kagat-kagat ko ‘yung labi ko nang tanggapin ko ang kamay niya. Bumaba na ako sa kaniyang sasakyan at napansin ko na naglalakad na palapit sa direksyon namin si Cadence.

“It’s f*****g ten in the evening! Saan mo siya dinala, Kai?” his voice thundered. He looks mad as he darts his menacing eyes on his brother. Hindi nakikitaan ang kaba sa mukha ni Kai, mukhang mas natutuwa pa siya makita kapatid niya. “I told you to go away, didn’t I?”

“I’m sorry, Kuya. I met her in the coffee shop. Kaya ako na rin nagpasya na ihatid siya rito.”

Hinablot ni Cadence ‘yung kamay ko at pinalayo ako kay Kai. Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ko na mahigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko parang ayaw ako pakawalan. Hinayaan ko siya ipagsiklop ang kamay namin dalawa. 

Cadence clenched his jaw. “I don’t want to see you again, Kai. Stay away from my life.”

I saw how the pain struck in Kai’s eyes. I saw myself in him when I used to be young because Kuya Kyle doesn’t want to talk to me and play with me. Naawa ako bigla kay Kai pero wala siyang nagawa kundi mahina na tumango. Pero kahit gano’n ay nagawa niya pa rin ako ngitian bago bumalik sa kaniyang Sonata Hyundai. 

Kumaway ako sa kaniya. I hope I see him again because I want to help him with his brother. I know what it feels like when your sibling doesn’t want you. Cadence helped me with my brother until Kuya Kyle finally accepted me as his little sister.

Mabilis na ako hinila ni Cadence papasok sa loob. My mind is clouded with Kai’s reaction. He was hurt. Makikita ko sa kaniya na pursigido na maging maayos sila ng Kuya niya pero ayaw talaga ni Cadence.

Mabilis ko hinawi ‘yung kamay ko sa kaniya at mariin ang titig na pinukol ko sa kaniya. Sobrang rude niya naman sa kaniyang kapatid! Hindi niya ba alam kung gaano siya kamahal nito? Naawa pa nga siya sa kaniyang nangyari. He even wants to say sorry on behalf of his mother.

“You’re being rude to your brother!” I started. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang dilim sa kaniyang mata. “He wants to get close to you. He is your brother, Cadence!”

He scoffed. “He f*****g deserves it. How did you even know him? He went to you and talked about my life, didn't it?”

“He doesn’t deserve it, Cadence, okay? He’s being nice to me. Pagod ako kaya matutulog na ako.”

“Now… I’m the bad guy in this story? I kept waiting for you because I was worried about you!”

Tinalikuran ko na lang siya. “I want to sleep. See you again, Mr. Hamilton.”

“I don’t understand you, Kyla,” he paused. I halted from my tracks when his voice became soft. Hindi ko siya nililingon at nanatili lang ako sa aking posisyon. “You want me to stay out of your life but you got hurt when I avoided you. Saan ba ako lulugar?”

“Forget about it. I think we are not for each other… always remember that I am your niece. Goodnight, Cadence.”

Nagpatuloy na ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa makarating ako sa ikalawang palapag dahil nandoon ‘yung kwarto ko. Pagkapasok ko sa kwarto ay doon na bumuhos lahat ng emosyon ko. Napaupo na lang ako sa sahig habang yakap-yakap ko ‘yung binti ko. 

It’s freaking difficult when you can’t be with someone. I just wished that our life was different so I could love him freely. I was really scared of what people were thinking about our family, especially how my parents would  react to my feelings for Cadence.

I really love him with all my heart. I wanted to run to him and give him a hug. I wanted to embrace the man who gave me hope. I wanted to kiss him until we burned out from the universe. Mahal na mahal ko siya pero ang hirap. Ayaw ko lang siya ipahamak kahit ba willing siya.

This is the time I cried helplessly on a lonely night. The first time I cried like this was when I found out about my brother’s unexpected death. Why can’t the universe make me happy in love this time? He is the right man but at the wrong time.

Another day came, I was waiting in the living room. Hinihintay ko kasi si Cadence dahil gusto ni Lola Isabel na ihatid ako sa kumpanya at sabay kami. Si Lola Isabel ay patuloy pa rin sa pakikiusap sa akin kahit ba wala ako sa sarili ngayon. Nagkaroon na naman ako ng dark circles sa ilalim ng mata ko kaya tinabunan ko lang ‘yun ng concealer.

“Are you okay? Gusto mo ba magpahinga ka na muna, hija?” Lola Isabel said, laced with concern.

“I am fine, Lola. I was just thinking about something else,” I responded. 

“What is it? Tungkol ba ito sa isang lalaki? Hija… huwag ka sa isang lalaki na sasaktan ka. Doon ka sa isang lalaki na mahal ka at kaya ka ipaglaban.”

I smiled bitterly. “I-It’s not about a man, Lola.”

“Hija… malapit na ang pasko. Isang linggo na lang ay pasko na, dapat maging masaya ka. Tsaka kailan ka ba may ipapakilala na lalaki sa akin?”

“Lola, wala pa ako mahanap.”

Napanguso ako. Sa totoo lang gusto ko sabihin na may mahal akong lalaki. Na p-pressure na nga ako kay Lola kasi wala naman ako maipapakilala sa kaniya pero may mahal akong isang lalaki. Magagalit siya sa akin kapag nalaman niya ‘yun.

“Ako ang bahala, hija. May kilala akong galing sa mayaman na pamilya at gwapo! Tiyak na magugustuhan mo siya.”

I gulped. “No need, Lola. I can find someone for me.”

“Ang tagal naman! Gusto ko na ng apo mula sa’yo. Kapag wala ka pa maipapakilala sa pasko, ako ang maghahanap para sa’yo.”

Biglang lumitaw si Cadence sa gilid with his corporate attire. Lumapit siya kay Lola Isabel at hinagkan niya ito sa pisnge. Iniwas ko ‘yung tingin ko sa kaniya nang tumingin siya sa gawi ko. 

“We have to go, Mama. See you later at dinner,” Cadence said, softly. 

“Paghahandaan ko kayo masarap mamaya. Mag-ingat kayong dalawa,” Lola Isabel replied.

Nauna na naglakad si Cadence. Wala na ako nagawa kundi tumayo na rin para sumunod sa kaniya. Sumakay na siya sa kaniyang sasakyan at walang ekspresyon sa kaniyang mukha. Kinabahan naman ako doon. Sumakay na ako sa shotgun seat at nilingon ko siya.

His jaw tightened. “Wear your seatbelt.”

His voice is very cold which makes me shiver with his chilling voice. Nanginginig ‘yung kamay ko habang sinusuot ko ‘yung seatbelt. Hindi ko maintindihan ang kaba na kumakabog sa dibdib ko. Ang hirap sobra ng sitwasyon namin dalawa.