Fierce

Chapter 10

Distance

After my night routine, I went to sleep at around eleven-thirty last night, and woke up early the next day for my morning classes. When I came down for breakfast, my parents were already seated on the dining table.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Mom greeted me with a warm smile.

Dad was in his usual seat, reading a newspaper and drinking his coffee while eating some toasts. On the other hand, Mom was busy preparing the foods on the table when she turned to look at me again.

"Juice or water?" she asked.

"I'm fine with water, mom."

She just nodded and went to the fridge to get me some water.

"Blair..."

I stopped from getting my food when daddy called my attention.

"Bakit po?"

"I'll drive you to school today so finish your breakfast fast," Daddy said and my eyes widened in surprise in an instant.

Is this real? I couldn't believe it. Even when I was still in elementary, he rarely drove me to school. Mayroon akong school service noon na sumusundo sa akin sa bahay at naghahatid pauwi.

"Really, dad?" I couldn't hide the excitement and happiness in my voice.

"Yes," he simply replied. "Pinakiusapan ko si Gael na isabay ka mamaya kaya ako na ang maghahatid sa ‘yo papunta sa school para hindi mo na dalhin ang sasakyan mo."

When reality hit me that my father had another motive for taking me to school, my excitement  gradually faded along with the smile on my face. I assumed too much when I should’ve known better.

"Pupunta si Gael mamaya rito sa bahay para sa lecture na ibibigay ko kaya mas magandang magsabay na kayo pauwi,” paliwanag ni daddy.

Trying to hide the bitterness and disappointment I was feeling, I gritted my teeth. "Our dismissal time's different, dad," I told him. "Hindi ko po alam kung sino po ang mauuna sa aming matapos ang klase. I also don’t want to hassle Gael. I can go home on my own.”

"Don't worry. I have his number, Blair," Daddy tried to reassure me but it only made me feel more hopeless. "If Gael finishes earlier, I'm sure he will wait for you. But if you're the one who will finish your classes first, make sure to wait for him.”

Although I had so many objections, I couldn’t speak myself out. Hindi puwedeng magreklamo lalo na kung si daddy ang nagdesisyon. Kaya naman nanahimik na lamang ako hanggang sa matapos ang pagkain ng umagahan at makarating na sa school.

"Is that your dad?" Halos malaglag ang panga ni Ida nang makita niya akong bumaba sa sasakyan ni daddy.

Muling pinaalala sa akin ni daddy na sabayan si Gael pauwi kaya binaba niya ang bintana ng sasakyan at nakita siya ni Ida.

"Did he just drive you to school?" natutuwang tanong niya sa akin.

My best friend's really happy thinking that my father really wanted to drive me to school today because we have a good relationship.

I faintly nodded at my best friend and kept on walking. "Gael's going to our house later."

Ida's forehead creased. "What?" she asked in confusion. "I was talking about you and your father, then you’ll suddenly bring up Gael? Can you please enlighten me?"

"Gael's going to our house later and dad wants me to ride with him on the way home,” I explained things to her in the simplest way. “Kaya niya ako hinatid ngayon ay para hindi ko na dalhin ang sasakyan ko. I have no excuses para hindi sumabay sa kanya pauwi."

"Okay…” Despite explaining things to her, she seemed more confused. “But how did your dad know Gael?" she asked another question. "I'm so clueless right now, Blair. Isang araw lang akong nag-absent tapos malalaman ko ngayon na pumupunta na pala si Gael sa bahay ninyo at mukhang gusto pa ni tito si Gael para sa ‘yo.”

"My dad and Gael's mom are friends,” I told her. "We had dinner with them the last time I went home early if you can still remember. Daddy miraculously became his mentor in law. Kaya ngayon ay pumupunta si Gael sa amin para sa mga lectures ni daddy.”

She covered her mouth with her hand. "Should I warn my brother about this?"

Sa gulat ay napalingon ako sa aming paligid upang makita kung may nakakarinig sa aming dalawa. Ida was being really careless while talking about Isaiah.

"Why would you tell him this?” Medyo naalarma kong tanong. “Hindi niya naman 'to kailangang malaman."

"Kailangan niyang malaman, Blair!" giit niya. "He's sort of courting you and your father wants someone else for you. Isn't that supposed to be a warning sign?"

"I'm not going to be arranged by someone else, Ida—especially not to Gael."

Nakumbinsi ko naman si Ida na huwag sabihin kay Isaiah ang tungkol sa binabalak ni daddy sa aming dalawa ni Gael. Kaya ko namang gawan ng paraan 'yon. I'm not Blair Nicole Alcoberes if I'll just stand here and do nothing.

"Sino magco-compile ng digest natin?" tanong sa akin ni Zendaya.

"Let me do it," I volunteered. "Just email it to me."

She nodded and smiled. "I'll do it tomorrow, then.”

"I'll wait for it," sabi ko na lang kahit na hindi ko alam kung maaasikaso ko 'yon agad kinabukasan dahil death anniversary ni lolo.

“Okay. Thank you, Blair,” she sincerely thanked me like I was doing her a huge favor when it would benefit the both of us.

“No problem…” I trailed off when my eyes caught someone waiting outside our room.

Sa gilid ng aking mga mata ay nakita kong sinundan ni Zendaya ang aking tingin.

“Uhm…” Bahagya siyang nag-alangan ngunit tumayo rin kalaunan. “I guess I’ll go now. I’ll just send you a message once I have sent the files.”

Pagkatapos niyang sikupin ang mga gamit ay mabilis siyang naglakad palabas ng silid habang si Gael naman ang pumasok. Napairap na lamang ako saka nagsimula na ring mag-ayos para makauwi.

“Are you done now?” he casually asked me once he stood right in front of me.

"Bakit nandito ka na naman?” pabalang kong tanong. “Wala ka bang klase?"

"Apparently, we almost have the same schedule today,” he said. “I just want to remind you that we will go home together after class.”

"How unfortunate of me…” I commented.

I was about to go on my way but stopped when I suddenly remembered my encounter with Darlene. I forgot to bring that matter to him last night because I was preoccupied with other things and I just wanted to get away from him.

"You!" I turned to him again and pointed to his face. "Your ex-girlfriend confronted me yesterday!"

Mabilis nagbago ang kanyang ekspresyon ngunit hindi siya nagsalita.

"She accused me of stealing you from her! Like hell! That will never happen," I said with so much irritation. "Sana nilinaw mo man lang sa kanya kung bakit ka nakipagbreak. At ang sabi mo rin sa akin, siya ang nakipaghiwalay pero ikaw pala. Ano ‘yon? Gusto mong kaawaan kita?”

His jaw clenched repeatedly because of my accusations. "I told you and almost everyone who asked me that Darlene's the one who broke up with me because I don’t want to put her in an embarrassing situation.” I thought he wouldn’t bother explaining himself like what he did the last time but he did. "It will be a big slap to her. Breaking up with her was already a thing, I just don’t want to put salt on her wound. I’m also not proud of what I did.”

Despite the resolve Gael was showing, I could also see in his eyes that he still cared for Darlene. I had no idea why but that thought didn’t sit well with me.

Frowning slightly, I refused to look at him straight in his eyes and said, "Then you shouldn't have broken up with her in the first place."

"I really liked Darlene and I still care for her because of the times we spent with each other," he said, trying to explain himself. "But it's not the same as before. Even before I met you, my feelings for her were gradually fading. I don't want to be unfair, that's why I already broke up with her."

Why does everyone have a tendency to fall out of love?

This is what makes loving someone and engaging yourself in a relationship scary. It’s one of the reasons why I still can’t bring myself to commit fully. You don't know how long your love or your partner's love will last. It seems like love's only a temporary feeling. It's so scary.

"Tell me what's the better thing that I should have done, Blair," Gael asked me for advice. "Is it continuing our relationship, even though I don't feel the same anymore, or breaking up with her because that's the right thing? Alam kong kahit saang anggulo kong tingnan, I will still end up hurting her. That's why I chose the right thing, but it seems like you have a different opinion about it."

"You're right... Either way you'll still hurt her," I agreed to his point. "But if your feelings for her are that shallow, you shouldn’t have engaged yourself in a relationship with her. You said you only liked her. You didn’t love her."

With those last words, voicing out my thoughts, I rested my case. I turned my back on him and started walking away. However, every step was making my heart feel heavy. I just told him what was on my mind. He wanted my opinion, so I gave him that. I wanted him to realize that love shouldn't be taken that lightly. If you're going to love, you need to take it seriously.

"What's wrong?" Ida asked, sensing that I wasn’t in a good mood.

Shaking my head, I smiled. "I'm just sleepy,” I lied. “I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Oo nga pala! Sumama ka nga pala kay…” Lumapit siya sa akin upang bumulong. “Kuya."

I rolled my eyes at her. But it was a good thing she was finally being cautious.

"So…” Pumangalumbaba siya habang nakatingin sa akin. “Sasabay ka talaga umuwi kasama si Gael mamaya?"

"I have to."

"Sayang..." Napabuntong hininga siya. "Mom told me to invite you again for dinner."

"Pakisabi kay tita na next time na lang," sabi ko kahit na nanghihinayang ako.

"Okay. I'll tell her," sabi na lang ni Ida at agad nagtipa ng text sa kanyang cellphone.

The lunch with Ida ended as usual, and I immediately went to my next class after that. But when all my classes for the day ended, I could feel the anxiety surging inside me. I was staring at Gael's number on my contacts while waiting for him.

Should I call him or text him? I honestly didn't know what to do. I was still kinda guilty because of the words spit out in front of his face earlier.

"Hey."

Halos itapon ko ang aking cellphone nang madinig ko ang pamilyar ni Gael. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakita kong mahigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa kanyang cellphone.

Was he thinking if he should call or text me, too?

"I was about to call or text you, but then I spotted you here," he told me.

Tumayo ako nang makalapit siya sa akin. "Tara na,” pag-aya ko. “I'm already tired. I want to go home."

Without saying anything else, I led the way out of the campus to the parking lot. Agad kong naramdaman ang pagsunod niya sa akin. Medyo nailang nga lang ako dahil sa tingin ng mga estudyanteng nakakakilala sa aming dalawa. I bet it will be an issue again.

"Can you please keep a distance?"

Hinarap ko siya bigla upang palayuin upang hindi na mas lumaki pa ang issue. Ayaw kong makumpronta ulit ni Darlene.

His brow shot up like and didn’t move an inch away from me.

"Pagtitinginan tayo. Ayaw ko nang ma-isyu sa 'yo,”  sabi ko. “I'm done with the confrontation with your ex. I'm not afraid of her but I don't want to be involved in a love triangle with you both.”

"Just start walking,” he said and slipped his hand inside his pocket. “I'll keep my distance if that's what you want."

Even though I was skeptical of his answer, I started walking again but faster than my usual speed. When I took a peek to see if he meant his words and felt relieved when I saw that he stayed standing where I left him, just watching me increase the distance between us.