MONTE COSTA SERIES 3: INNOCENT TIDES

Kabanata 19

THE LITTLE hairs on Ae's nape stood to its ends after Linel let out a delicious chuckle right in front of her ear. Maya-maya ay humugot ito ng matalim na hininga saka iyon pinakawalan. His minty breath with a hint of alcohol caressed the sensitive skin on her ear, making her purse her lips as her heartbeat became wilder.

"Biro lang," he whispered.

Muntik nang mangatog ang kanyang mga tuhod. Maybe because as stupid and irrational as it may sound, she would've given him what he wants if he didn't tell her it was a joke.

Linel stood up properly then jugged the bottle of beer he was holding. Tinitigan siya ng asul nitong mga mata saka nito itinuro ang kanyang plato.

"Enjoy your food and see you around," he casually said before he turned his back on her again.

Gusto niya itong tawagin ngunit masyado pa siyang wala sa sarili. There's an unexplainable heat brewing between her thighs that shuts down the rational part of her brain. Wala na tuloy siyang nagawa kun'di ang manghinayang nang tuluyang humalo si Linel sa grupong nagkakasiyahan sa gilid ng pool.

"Damn it," asik niya sa sarili bago bumuntonghininga.

She just grabbed her food and looked for a table where she can eat. Mabuti na lang at may nakita siyang bakante at wala pang umookupang kahit sino. Karamihan kasi ay naroroon na malapit sa pool at nagsasayawan dahil mayroong kinuhang DJ sina Linel.

Kahit nawalan ng gana ay pinilit niyang kumain. She kept her head low to avoid any attention until she felt someone grabbed the seat next to her. Nang mag-angat siya ng ulo ay nagtama ang tingin nila ni Linel.

May dala itong dalawang bote ng beer. He placed one in front of her while he's holding the other bottle as he sat.

"I drank your beer earlier. Here's the replacement," kaswal nitong sabi bago tinungga ang hawak na bote.

Ae swallowed the food in her mouth as she sat up straight. "Uhm, thanks."

Tumango lamang ito. He then slouched a little on his seat then placed his colossal hand on the table. Sumusulyap ito sa direksyon ng mga bisita na tila nais magmasid. His fingertips even taps the table, following the beat of the song that's being played by the DJ.

She cleared her throat as she gathered the courage to speak to him. "H-Hindi ka ba . . . babalik doon?"

Ibinaling ni Linel ang tingin sa kanya. "Why? Still hate my presence so much that you can't stand the sight of me?"

"No, I . . ." She shut her eyes and sighed. Nang magmulat ng mga mata ay nakatutok pa rin ang tingin ni Linel sa kanya. "I was just asking. Baka kasi . . . napipilitan ka lang na samahan ako rito."

Umismid ito. "Nah. Don't worry. We're not the same. Hindi ko pipilitin ang sarili kong pakisamahan ka kung ayaw ko naman talaga sa'yo."

Those words pierced through her heart. Probably because she knew he has all the right to be lowkey bitter right now.

Sandali siyang yumuko at humugot ng hininga. "Listen, I . . ." She looked at him again. This time, her expression became apologetic. Wala na rin naman siyang pakialam kung pagtawanan siya nito. "I just . . . wanna say sorry for what happened back then. I was still young and I didn't think twice when I said those words."

Linel drank his beer without breaking their eye contact. Ang ekspresyon ay nanatiling malamig na tila wala itong pakialam kung totoo man o hindi ang sinabi niya.

Inilapag nito ang bote saka nito sinuklay ang buhok gamit ang mga daliri. "Kumain ka na lang. This is not the right place to talk about stuff like that."

Medyo napahiya siya ngunit hindi siya gaanong nagpaapekto. Pinuno niya ng lakas ng loob ang dibdib niya saka niya hinawakan ang kamay nitong nakapatong sa mesa.

Linel's gaze drifted towards their hands. Napansin niya ring natigilan ito na tila hindi inasahang gagawin niya iyon.

Ae inhaled a sharp breath before she gently squeezed his hand. "I want to . . . see you again after this night."

Sandaling umigting ang panga nito bago ibinaling ang tingin sa bote ng alak. "Why?" he asked in a cold way, sounding uninterested.

"I wanna ask for . . . a chance." She let out the heavy air in her lungs then caressed the side of his hand with her thumb. "A chance to . . . explain everything and . . . to see if we could . . . maybe try again?" She swallowed. "T-To be honest, I was ready to give you what you were asking for earlier if it wasn't a joke b-because maybe it would give me a way to . . . work things out with you," hiyang-hiya niyang pag-amin.

Natahimik ito na tila nag-iisip. Maya-maya ay sandali itong tumingala. His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he shut his eyes while still looking up. Hindi naman napigilan ni Ae na hangaan ang features nito habang nananatili itong tahimik.

Linel had really grown into a fine man. Napapa-overthink tuloy siya. What if he's no longer interested in her because he could literally pull any woman he wants now? Kung noong bata-bata pa nga lang ito ay ang dami nang nagkakandarapa. Paano pa ba ngayon?

"I only have three days left before Linus and I will leave the country again," he said in breathy way with a hint of regret. His eyes opened and looked at her. Tila may kumislap pang panghihinayang sa namumungay nitong mga mata. "I don't think three days would be enough to try again. I have other things to do here. Things that are important and the reasons why we came home in the first place."

Tila may kumurot sa puso ni Ae. Hindi niya alam ang isasagot sa sinabi nito. A part of her wanted to take his words as a sign that he's not willing to work things out with her, but her stupid heart who suffered so much in the past four years begged her to insist what she wants.

She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "Kung . . . kung libre ka, baka pwedeng . . . magkita tayo? Kahit sandali lang. I won't . . . ask for all of your time. I know things are different now but I just . . ." Lumamlam ang mga mata niya nang maramdaman niya ang desperasyon sa kanyang puso.

Linel lifted a brow. "Just what?"

Ae sighed. "I just wanna clear things out and . . . discuss about our past."

"I think you've already made your point back then. Huwag na nating balikan," he said with a hint of bitterness in his tone. Tinungga rin nito ang bote pagkatapos magsalita.

Her eyes glistened with regret. "I didn't mean it. Alam kong sinabi kong hindi ito ang tamang lugar para pag-usapan 'to pero kung ito na lang ang pagkakataon ko para klaruhin ang lahat, t-then I'd tell you what I wanna say. I . . . didn't mean it. Every word I said back then, I realized when you left that I didn't mean it."

He smirked but his eyes flickered with pain as if he still carries in his heart the same pain from for years ago. "Well, aren't you four years late?" Uminom ito ng beer. "Ang dami mo pang araw noon para sabihin 'yan pero hindi mo ginawa."

She pursed her lips for a moment as she recollected her courage. Nang makaipong muli ng sapat na lakas ng loob ay piniga niya ang kamay nito.

"I know I was really stupid for not being honest to myself when I still had the chance, and I know you've probably moved on already, but I just . . . wanna shoot my shot. Kahit na . . . ako naman ngayon ang mangungulit sa'yo. Sorry if I sound desperate right now. Maybe because . . ." She shut her eyes and sighed. "Because I really am." Namula siya dala ng hiya. "I am desperate right now . . . because the last four years felt hellish without you."

They both fell silent for a few seconds. Halos gusto na lamang tuloy nyiang magpalamon sa lupa noong akala niya ay hindi na ito muling kikibo pa. A part of her wanted to regret what she said but instead of taking back her words, Ae kept her mouth shut and prayed for a miracle.

Linel sighed. He jugged his beer and then stood up. Her heart nearly sunk when she thought Linel would leave because of what she told him. Ngunit nang mapansing dinadampot nito ang bag niya ay napaangat siya ng tingin sa gwapo nitong mukha.

"W-What are you doing with my bag?" she asked when Linel wore it on his shoulder.

He moistened his lower lip while he's keeping his gaze on her.

"Like I said, I only have three days left," he said.

Napalunok siya. "A-And?"

"I changed my mind. Let's go to my room and enjoy the rest of my stay."

Her heart went wild. "W-Why?"

"You said four years without me felt hellish?" Linel offered his hand. "Then let me show you what those four years without you had done to me . . ."