What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas

CHAPTER THREE

Five days ago...

INAAYOS ni Lila ang ilan sa mga gamit sa opisina niya sa university na pinapasukan. Katatapos lang niyang mag-file ng two-month leave. Tatlong linggo kasi mula ngayon ay ikakasal na siya. Lucas, her fiance, planned a European tour for their honeymoon. Kaya ngayon pa lang ay nag-file na siya ng leave para makahanap na agad ang university ng mag-su-substitute sa kanya para sa mga subject na tinuturo niya.

 Dapat talaga sa simula pa lang ng semestre ay mag-fa-file na siya ng leave para hindi maging abala sa mga estudyante na kumukuha ng mga subject niya at sa iba pa niyang co-teacher. But her parents were against it, saying na sa katapusan pa naman daw ng semestre ang kasal niya. At gaya ng madalas na nangyayari, sinunod na lamang niya ang gusto ng mga ito.

 Inilibot niya ang paningin sa loob ng opisina, it has been her office for a year now. Pagkatapos niyang makatapos ng Bachelor of Arts in History sa edad na labing-siyam, she immediately took her masteral in Philippine History. By the time she turned twenty-two, she already has her PhD. At twenty-three, she became an assistant professor at UP Diliman's Department of History and finally at twenty-five, a professor. Madami ang nagsasabi nung umpisa na kaya mabilis ang pag-angat ng karera niya ay dahil sa impluwensiya ng kanyang mga magulang. 

 Her father was the Dean of the College of Social Sciences and Philosophy, samantalang ang ina naman ay isa sa mga pinakapipitagang propesora ng unibersidad. She hated the fact that people would think that she got to her position because of her parents. She worked her ass off to get to where she was now. All those years of studying and studying, until she felt like her head was going to burst. She already had enough on her plate proving herself to her parents, pati ba naman sa ibang tao ay kailangan pa niyang patunayan ang sarili niya? But that's exactly what she did. She became the epitome of a perfect professor. She worked and worked hanggang sa wala nang masabing masama ang mga tao sa kanya. Until all they had for her were words of praises. 

 Naputol ang pag-iisip niya dahil sa mahihinang katok sa pinto. Nag-angat siya ng mukha at nakita na pumasok ang ina. She looked every bit the respectable professor that she is. "Have you already filed a leave?" tanong nito.

 "Yes, Ma."

 "Good. Your Tita Celeste called, she wanted to have lunch with us. So let's go," wika nito na ang tinutukoy ay ang ina ni Lucas.

 Tumayo siya at sumunod sa ina palabas ng opisina niya.

 Nagtungo sila sa isang Italian restaurant na malapit lamang sa university belt. Nando'n na at naghihintay sa kanila si Tita Celeste. Pagkatapos ng batian ay naupo na sila sa pang-apatang lamesa. They ordered the restaurant's specialty at nagsimula na silang kumain.

 "I can't believe it, tatlong linggo na lang at ikakasal na kayo ni Lucas," wika ni Tita Celeste. "I'm really so glad that you and my son fell in love."

 Fell in love? She wouldn't go that far. Kung anuman ang nararamdaman nila ni Lucas sa isa't-isa, malayong matawag 'yong pagmamahal. This engagement and this wedding was more of an obligation to them. Isang responsibilidad na kailangan nilang gawin.

 "I told you, Celeste, they're perfect for each other," wika naman ng ina.

 She wouldn't say that either. Malapit ang pamilya nila ni Lucas sa isa't-isa. Their mothers were the best of friends at sa iisang village lang din sila nakatira. The idea of her and Lucas being together when they grew up has been drilled in their heads ever since they were kids. It's almost like an arrange marriage. Lucas agreed to it out of love for his mother, and she out of gratitude to her parents. And now it's really happening. Three weeks from now ay ikakasal na sila.

 "Yes, I knew Lila would be the perfect wife for Luke," wika pa ulit ni Tita Celeste. "Only twenty-six and already a respectable professor. You must be real proud, Myrna."

 "Of course. Lila is our pride and joy. I wouldn't want any other daughter than her. Sobrang swerte ni Luke sa kanya."

 Labis na kasiyahan ang nadarama niya sa tuwing naririnig niya na sinasabi ng ina na proud ito sa kanya, but hearing that now only left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. Ngumiti na lamang siya at tahimik na kumain.

 Nang matapos sila ay nagpaalam na si Tita Celeste, kailangan pa kasi nitong pumunta sa isang fund raising event.

 "Saan ka na pupunta after this?" tanong ng ina habang papalabas sila ng restaurant.

 "Sa bridal boutique po. Today is my last fitting for the wedding gown."

 "Ngayon na ba 'yon? Dapat sinabi mo sa 'kin. Do you want me to come with you?"

 "No, Ma. It's fine. I know may klase ka pa this afternoon. And besides, Toby will be with me."

 Nagsalubong naman ang kilay nito sa pagbanggit niya sa pangalan ng matalik na kaibigan. Alam niyang hindi sang-ayon ang ina sa pakikipagkaibigan niya kay Toby. Tingin kasi nito ay bad influence ang kaibigan niya sa kanya. But they already got passed that dahil nakita naman ng ina na hindi nakakaapekto sa araw-araw nilang buhay ang pakikipagkaibigan niya kay Toby. Although it really took a long while before that happened.

 "Okay. I'll see you later at the house," wika ng ina na hinalikan siya sa pisngi bago tuluyang umalis.

PINAGMAMASDAN ni Lila ang sarili sa harap ng malaking salamin. The white gown fit her perfectly. It emphasizes her natural shape. Every aspect of the dress - the lower waistline, the floor-sweeping hem - reflects her tall figure. It's really beautiful in its simplicity. Pero wala man lang siyang maramdaman na katiting na kaligayahan habang suot-suot 'yon.

 "You look like you're going to wear that in a funeral rather than your own wedding," komento ni Toby. Nakaupo ito sa tabi at nakamasid habang nagsusukat siya.

 Tiningnan niya ang kaibigan sa salamin. As always, Toby was wearing all black. Her blue-black hombre hair was tied in a high ponytail kaya kitang-kita ang sandamakmak na piercings sa magkabila nitong teynga. Sa isang tingin ay mukha itong hindi gagawa ng matino, pero ito lang ang matatawag niyang talagang tunay niyang kaibigan. Nagtatrabaho ito ngayon bilang isang composer sa isang sikat na recording agency.

 Nagkilala sila during their freshman year in college. Magkaiba man ang kanilang kurso, naging magkaklase sila sa isang GE subject. Hindi naging maganda ang naging impresyon nila sa isa't-isa nung umpisa. She thought Toby was always up to no good, samantalang ito naman ang tingin sa kanya ay isang miss goody-two-shoes. Pero nang maging mag-partner sila sa isang project, nalaman nila kung gaano kamali ang iniisip nila sa isa't-isa. And that's the start of their friendship.

 "I'm just tired," wika na lang niya.

 "Sige, hindi kita pipigilan na lokohin ang sarili mo. But remember, kapag dumating yung araw na pagsisisihan mo ang desisyon mong 'to don't forget na hindi ako nagkulang ng paalala sa 'yo. This wedding is a bad idea."

 Bumaling siya sa katabi niyang assistant na tumulong sa kanya sa pagsusuot ng damit. "Don't mind her, she's always pessimistic like that," wika niya dito. Pinaikot lang ni Toby ang mga mata sa sinabi niya. "The dress fits perfectly by the way. Wala nang adjustment na kailangang gawin."

 "Sasabihin ko po 'yan kay Miss Jonah," sagot ng assistant na ang tinutukoy ay ang designer na gumawa ng gown niya. Wala ito doon ngayon dahil may ka-meeting ito na ibang kliyente.

 Tumango siya at nagpatulong na dito para hubadin ang gown na suot. Pagkatapos ng fitting ay dumiretso sila ni Toby sa malapit na coffee shop. 

 "It's not that bad of an idea, you know, the wedding," wika niya nang makuha na nila ang order.

 Tiningnan siya nito na para bang tinatanong kung nagbibiro ba siya. "It is when you don't know what you're doing."

 "Alam ko ang ginagawa ko."

 "No, you're just following what your mother wants. Again."

 Hindi naman niya 'yon magawang itanggi. Kaya sumimsim na lamang siya ng kape kesa magkomento.

 "Lila, hindi basta-basta ang pagpapakasal. Itatali mo ang sarili mo ng panghabambuhay sa isang tao. Sa kasong 'to, sa isang tao na hindi mo naman mahal. And the worst part is, you're only doing this because your mother wanted you to." Inabot nito ang kamay niya. "Please, Lila, think this through. I know you feel indebted to your parents. Pero hindi ibig-sabihin no'n na hahayaan mo na silang kontrolin ang buhay mo. Being adopted doesn't mean they own you, Lila."

 Isang mapait na ngiti ang sumilay sa labi niya. "If only I can think that way."

 Tatlong taong gulang siya nang masunog ang bahay na tinitirhan, namatay ang mga magulang niya sa sunog but a fireman managed to save her. Dahil wala nang ibang kamag-anak, dinala siya ng mga social worker sa isang bahay-ampunan. She was in shock for the first few months. Hindi niya magawang maintindihan kung anong nangyayari, kung anong ginagawa niya sa lugar na 'yon. She can't even remember the face of her parents. All she could remember was the raging heat and the fire.

 It took a whole year before she could act like a normal child again. Well, as normal as any child with a fear of fire could be. Yes, because of the accident she became afraid of fire. Kahit wala na siyang masyadong matandaan sa insidente, the fear was ingrained in her. Sinubukan niyang maging masaya sa bahay-ampunan, but she always felt like something was missing. The warmth of a family.

 When she was five, a family fostered her. Buong akala niya ay mararamdaman na niya ang hinahanap. Pero isang buwan pa lang na pananatili kasama ng mga ito ay ibinalik na siya kaagad sa ampunan. It was because of her wild temper outbursts. It happened again for the second family, and the third, and the fourth. The child psychologist the orphanage assigned to her said na dahil 'yon sa aksidente na nangyari sa mga magulang niya and her almost dying from the fire. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin niya maunawaan kung ano ang kinalaman no'n sa pagkakaroon niya ng temper. But even as a child, she understood one thing then, if she didn't behave herself she would never be adopted.

 So when the Mendez' fostered her, she was in her best behavior. Hindi siya nagpakita ng inis, ng galit, she just smiled and do what she was told. Nang makatanggap siya ng papuri mula sa mga ito, she couldn't be any happier. Kaya naman nang magdesisyon ang mga ito na tuluyan siyang ampunin, walang paglagyan ang kaligayan niya. She vowed then that she would be the best daughter for them, na hindi pagsisisihan ng mga ito ang pag-ampon sa kanya. Pleasing her adoptive parents became a habit. Isang masamang gawain na hanggang sa pagtanda niya ay hindi niya nagawang alisin. Now she reached this point in her life, and all she could think still was how to please them. How pathetic was that?

 "Do they even know the real you? I bet they don't even know about that violent temper of yours."

 "But they love me." And for her, that's all that really matters.

 "Man, you're a basket case." Tinawanan lamang niya ito. "Anong gagawin mo kapag nakilala mo ang lalaking mamahalin mo talaga and you can't do anything about it because you're already married?"

 "When did you become such a romantic?" tanong na lamang niya. Because she, herself, doesn't know the answer to Toby's question.

 At wala siyang balak na alamin 'yon.