WHEN IT WAS YOU

Ending it here

It's almost 2 weeks before Soon's graduation. She had been thinking about answering Gyu all this time. And she felt that it is time to talk to him now. But it made Soonyang to be shocked and confused when she saw that Gyu have blocked her on all of their social media accounts. She can't even reach him through calls and texts. Mukhang nainip at napagod na nga.

Soonyang then called Ji.

"Yes, Soons? Papunta na ko, naiinip ka na ba?"

"Ji. Bakit ganun? Sasagutin ko na dapat si Gyu ngayon, I'm ready to answer him na after thingking about it . Pero nakablock na ko sa lahat ng socmeds account nya. I can't even call his number na. Does it mean na ayaw na nya sakin? Napagod na kaya sya maghintay? Pero ang sabi nya hanggang graduation diba?"

"Hey, Soons. Wait for me. Malapit na ko. Pag usapan natin yan." After saying goodbye to Ji, Soonyang's tears finally came out from her eyes. Not sure of what happened, she kept on trying to call Gyu for the last time, but didn't really work.

Soonyang and Ji were on their favourite café. Soonyang can't keep her tears from falling down.

"Ji, I decided to finally say yes sa kanya, but he ghosted me. Nanaman? Why did he even say na maghihintay sya 'til graduation if he'll leave me like this? Pangalawang beses na nya kong naghost. I should have seen this coming para di ko na naisip pa na maging kami. I should have rejected him in the first place. Ano bang ginawa kong mali? Sobrang tagal ko na ba sya pinaghihintay?"

"Soonyang, listen. It's not your fault, okay. Maybe he realized that he don't deserve you. You're too good and precious for him. You're better off of him, be with a better man than him."

"Pero, Ji. Ngayon ko na nga lang binuksan yung puso ko ng ganito, but heartache parin ang kinalabasan. Ang hirap pala talagang sumugal sa pag mamahal."

"Let's just think na may nakalaang best for you, Soons. 'Yan ang lagi mong sinasabi diba? Ikaw na may sabi na don't rush things."

"Sorry, Ji. Nakikita mo tuloy ako na ganito. I'm sorry. I thought I could be strong when this time comes but, hindi rin pala. This is what I feared the most kung bakit it took years for me to decide. But it gets to worst. This is all my fault."

I should really never put all my hopes up when it comes to love.

"No need to feel sorry. Just to think of it, you're free from confusion na. You're out of confusion na towards your feelings about him. Just let him go." Soonyang nodded and wiped her tears.

Soonyang calm herself and fix her self.

"Can I borrow your phone, Ji?"

"Sure. Pero bakit?" Soonyang used Ji's account to stalk Gyu's Account. There she saw that Gyu have changed his relationship status and saw some posts with a girl that seems to be his girlfriend.

"Humanap lang ng confirmation. Fortunately, there is. I can let him go na nga siguro. Here. Thank you, Ji. Thank you talaga."

Though tears still fall down from her eyes, Soonyang became more calm and relaxed now. She tried to accept things.

I should thank Gyu for making me realize that if it's not for you, it will never be for you kahit pa gaano mo sya ipilit.

Not so long, Gyu once again bumped with Soonyang at a mall. But he's with her girlfriend and Soonyang with Ji.

Gyu followed her by looking as she passed by and never bother to call her because he thought Soonyang didn't saw him.

Meanwhile, Soonyang pulled Ji on a restroom.

"Ji, I saw Gyu and- and his- girlfriend."

"What? Where? Bakit di ko sila nakita? Are you okay?"

"Ofcourse I am. I mean, yes it still hurts. But as if I can turn back time and answer him right away para lang di na sya mawala sakin diba?"

"Di ka pa okay, Soons. You're always going back to your memories with him. You're too best for him. He doesn't deserve your beautiful soul."

"I'm sorry, Ji. You know what, I should erase this on my head now. Tara, kain tayo. I have something to tell you."

The two left the mall and went on a resto, wishing to not bump with Gyu again.

Week after their last encounter, Soonyang received a message from Gyu with all the regrets and the like. But then Soonyang realized that she was already healing for the messages from Gyu doesn't bother her at all. It may be too soon to be healed but, Soonyang is really doing fine after a week. Well, they never had that definite commitment with one another so there's nothing to hold on to.

Atleast he apologized. Hindi ko na kailangan pa malaman ang regrets nya. I, too, have regrets. myself. He should be happy now. I don't want to see him again not because I'm mad at him for what he's done but because I don't want us to hurt ourselves again.

Soonyang replied one last time to Gyu.

"Yes, you're right. I don't want to see you ever again. Not because I'm mad at you for leaving me again, pero ayoko nalang din bumalik yung naramdaman kong sakit at yung naramdaman mong pagod for waiting for me. Kahit wala na tayong attachment alam kong masasaktan parin natin ang isat isa kung magkikita parin tayo. Hindi naman din kasi madali para sakin na kalimutan at pakawalan ka. But i'm letting you go. Please enjoy life. I just don't want to hear bad news about you in th future. Goodbye. l loved you too. Love with ed kasi past tense."

Hoping that things will get back to how it should be for herself, she deleted all their conversations and and even the memories they had. Unbelievable how Soonyang still was able to live and stand despite of the heart aches.