Chapter 5
804 Words
MARGOT
“Mommy, I just remembered why I wanted to stab Eiji, my classmate, with a pencil!”
I lay down next to Bella on the bed, adjusting her position as I hugged her close. “Okay, tell me, why did Bella want to do that?”
“Because he said I couldn’t make him cry, just like I don’t have a daddy! So I thought of stabbing him with a pencil to prove I could make him cry!”
I didn’t expect her words to stab me right in the heart.
I swallowed hard, forcing a smile. “So, you really do try to make your classmates cry? It wasn’t just your ‘honesty is the best policy’ excuse?”
She covered her mouth and let out a giggle. “Only Eiji! Bella just wanted to make Eiji cry!”
“Oh really?” I laughed and tickled her side. “Are you sure? Don’t lie to Mommy, or I’ll tickle you until you pee in your pajamas!”
“Kyaaah! Mommy, no! Bella is honest!!”
I kept tickling her until she burst into uncontrollable laughter. Her laugh was music to my ears, lifting the heaviness in my heart. It reassured me that my daughter had emotions, even though she couldn’t always identify them. With Darius, it was different—he couldn’t feel anything at all.
“Mommy? Does Daddy have a grave?” Bella asked me after she calmed down.
She’s only four years old, but she’s already so curious and full of questions. It’s no surprise she’s number one in her class. She’s not really into playing; she focuses on things that help her learn.
“Of course, Daddy has a grave. But it’s far away, so we can’t visit it.”
“How far, Mommy?”
“Hmmm? Let’s see… we’d have to cross mountains, volcanoes, rivers, streams, and an ocean before we can get there. Maybe when you’re big like me, we can make that trip!”
“Can’t we just ride airplanes or ships instead?” She pouted.
“Mommy doesn’t have the money. I had to pay your tuition so you could stay in an air-conditioned classroom.”
“Okay!” She hugged me tightly. “Bella prefers the aircon over Daddy’s grave!”
“Pfft!” I smothered her face with kisses. “I love you so much, Bella.”
“Me too, Mommy!”
I’ve been hiding the truth about our situation from her. We live in a simple house, just the two of us and Piama..
I’m still sending Bella to a private preschool though not the kind I attended, where only the wealthy could afford to study.
But I much prefer this simpler life. No drama, no chaos. Just peace. We live a low-key existence without needing to waste money or mix with the social elite. We’re just simple people living in a quiet place.
I never expected that just a few months after what happened between Darius and me—and after I ran away from what was supposed to be our wedding—I would suddenly find myself pregnant.
From that one night of weakness, my daughter Bella was conceived.
When I found out I was pregnant, of course, I was terrified. I could barely survive on the money I earned, and because I was living in hiding, every move I made was carefully guarded, making it hard to breathe freely. In a way, it was a blessing that the Ashford family didn’t file a missing person report to force me back. Maybe it was their shame, their unwillingness to accept me back, and for that, I was grateful. Going back to them, where my life had no freedom, no joy, and no peace, was something I refused to even consider.
Anyway, I thought about aborting Bella as my belly grew. My biggest fear was not being able to provide for her or care for her properly. But every time I tried to go through with it, I just couldn’t. Even when I remembered the face of the man who got me pregnant, I couldn’t bring myself to end Bella’s life.
And that’s probably the one decision I’ve made that I’ve never regretted. Because Bella is now the one source of happiness in my life—the kind I once knew with my real mother before she left this world.
It’s hard to explain what it’s like to have a child. Even though it’s exhausting, seeing her happy and hugging me makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of having a little one call me “Mommy.”
Isn’t it ridiculous? I never regretted running away from the hands of a ruthless man, but I also never regretted giving birth to his daughter.
- Writer
