We Broke Up

7 - Step 3

Step 3: "Feel your feelings - Feeling your feelings until you are done feeling them."

When I got back to the villa, I noticed that the food was cleared out of the table and placed in the fridge. The house was tidied up too, only the banners and balloons on the wall were left. I couldn't find the cutie driver anywhere in the living room or the kitchen so I figured he went to sleep after cleaning up.

The cool ocean air, the sand on my toes and the cold and salty water from the waves that licked my feet from my walk earlier had completely washed away the last drop of alcohol and its effects in my body.

I went to the bedroom where I was assigned to sleep. The soft bed with yellow silk bedspread looked inviting but my spirit was already swimming in the turquoise waters and my body longed to join it. I rummaged through the bag Denise packed for me to find a decent swimsuit to wear.

"Of course. What can I expect? Si Denise pumili nito lahat eh." I chuckled as I laid 5 pairs of skimpy swimwear on the bed.

I chose the most modest one, if you can even call a yellow high-cut, low-back, side boob baring, one-piece suit; modest. I changed into it, grabbed a towel and my robe then ran to where my body ached to be - The ocean.

The water was cold but the sun was warm on my skin. Those with the calm waves and the gentle breeze made for a perfect morning swim. Just what I needed to celebrate my birthday. I loved every second of it until it was finally time to get out of the water.

"Oh s**t!" I muttered when I noticed how the thin yellow spandex clung to my body as I rose from the water, appearing significantly thinner and outlining the shape of my breasts and n****e. Given that they are small but still... I sunk back into the water and covered my chest. I felt naked. I looked around and saw no one since we were on a private beach so I just shrugged off my initial embarrassment and continued to go to the sand.

I went to one of the lounge chairs under the huge white cabana and laid back. I stretched my body on the wicker backrest and closed my eyes, not bothering to cover up. I am alone in paradise. I could very much walk or lie naked as I damned please! Suck on that, Fred! I smirked at that thought, savoring my newly found liberation.

I relished the cool sensation of the sea breeze, touching my skin and drying the droplets of water on my body as I listened to the soft waves, the rustling of the leaves of the coconut tree that stood a few feet away, and the scuffle of feet and muffled curses and apologies. Wait! What?!

My eyes flew open and I immediately bolted up to look at the source of the sound. And lo and behold, it was him, the driver. What the f**k was his name again? TJ? MJ? LJ? Damn it, Naveah!

He was dripping wet and half-naked, as he walked backwards and mumbled "I'm sorry, Miss Naveah. s**t! I'm sorry" over and over with his head low. He was blushing and his ears were of an unbelievably beet-red color. He looked up once and his eyes widened as they fell from my face to my chest, blushing even redder if that was possible.

"Jusko! Patawad. Sorry po talaga, Ma'am", he said, bowing repeatedly.

Realizing what he must have seen, I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest and felt heat in my cheeks. s**t! I looked down and immediately regretted it because he was just wearing a pair of cotton boxers. I saw what I have never seen before in my entire life and what I can only describe as a huge rising beast outlined in the thin fabric. I gasped and looked away. Oh my god!

"Tangina... Sorry ulit." I heard him mutter. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry."

So there we were, blushing profusely as we tried our best to cover ourselves with our arms and hands. He continued to mumble his apologies when I started laughing from too much embarrassment. When I heard him stop mumbling, I looked at him, still giggling. His face was still red as he crossed his hands over his crotch and stared at me with his mouth agape. He looked funny so I laughed even harder. He smiled.

I took my robe and wore it then threw him my towel. "Here. Cover up tapos umupo ka dito. Mukha kang stressed na stressed diyan." I chuckled.

He quietly took the towel and wrapped it around his waist then sat beside me, leaving a respectful distance between us. "Sorry po ulit, Miss Naveah", he whispered and bowed his head.

"Okay lang yun, TJ." I blushed at the thought of what I just saw with the name I just called him. "H-Hindi mo naman sinasadya." I stammered. Mother of...

"RJ po." I heard him say.

"Huh? Ano yun, DJ?" Dang! Can you please get his name right, girl?

"RJ po ang pangalan ko. Rodolfo Jaime Ferguson." He smiled softly as he extended his hand to me.

"Naeve. Naveah Montefrio." I smiled back and shook his hand. I internally gasped and we looked at each other confusedly as I felt heat radiate from his palm to mine, seep into my skin and flow through my veins.  With the look he gave me, I wondered if he felt the same.

I pulled my hand back and released the breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"RJ po ang palayaw ko, Miss Naveah, o kaya Jay na lang po para hindi po ninyo ako mapagkagkamalang hotdog or syota ni Kathryn." He grinned.

With that package, I doubt disassociating him with a hotdog was possible but I can easily steer him away from other women.

"Okay, Jay." I nodded.

He smiled, this time wider and more relaxed, showcasing the Marianas Trench on his left cheek. Seriously, his dimple is that deep. "Uhm... Miss Naveah, pwede pong magtanong?" He asked shyly and he sheepishly ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why did that seem to be in slow motion? Damn it! Hot. NO! Not hot. Not hot." I thought and to save myself from the fall of grace, I said aloud. "Nagtatanong ka na" then laughed.

"Bakit niyo po ako sinarhan ng pinto?" He asked and I giggled but he looked serious so I stopped. "Not once but twice.", he continued. "Pangit ba ako? Mabaho ba bibig ko? May mali po ba sa akin?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "Hindi." I told him. "Hindi ikaw. Walang mali sayo. Si Frederico Pascual, yung nagpa-deliver ng flowers at nagpadala ng singing telegram, yun ang very very wrong. Kaya kita napag-sarhan ng pinto nung unang kita natin." I explained. "The second time, nagulat lang talaga ako kasi out of all the people in the world, ikaw pa talaga na taong isinugo ng ex ko ang nakuhang temporary driver ni Francesca. Loko din tong si Universe eh."

"Kung ikaw naman ang makikita ko tuwing magloloko si Universe, kahit araw-araw, magpapaloko ako." He smiled. I was going to laugh at his cheesy line if his eyes were not too serious. "Pwede po ba ulit magtanong?"

"Reporter ka ba? Ang dami ko kasing tanong." I giggled. "Sige. Pwede pa. Yung susunod, may bayad na." I grinned.

"Mahal mo pa?" He asked and I could tell by the way he held his breath after that we were both surprised by his question.

"Hanep ah. Walang appetizer muna? Main course agad?" I chuckled then sighed as I looked straight at him. "Hindi na." I answered sincerely. "I think it's been that way for a while."

"Pero galit ka pa. Affected ka pa din sa kanya." His voice sounded somber.

I took a deep breath and looked out to the ocean before I answered. "Nakakagalit naman kasi talaga yung ginawa niya sa akin. He got his secretary pregnant and I found out that he's been cheating on me for over a year with her while I worked to be his perfect girlfriend and future wife. Sinunod ko lahat ng gusto niya, binago ang sarili ko para umayon sa lahat ng plano niya sa buhay naming dalawa, kinalimutan ko lahat pati mga pangarap ko para sa kanya tapos pinagpalit pa din niya ako." I sighed then turned to face him. "Kaya baka ako yung pangit. Ako yung mabaho. Ako ang may problema."

He sighed as he clenched his fist and I saw a hint of anger in his eyes which was quickly replaced by a solemn look of empathy. Slowly, he reached his hand out to hold mine and surprisingly, I did not protest. "Hindi totoo yan." He spoke in a serious voice as he looked into my eyes. "Sobrang ganda mo, Miss Naveah. Ang bango mo pa." He bit his lip and tried to hold back a smirk after he said that. I did not dare attempt to imagine what he was thinking of when he made his second statement.

"Hindi ikaw ang problema." He continued. "Yung gago mong ex ang may problema dahil pinakawalan ka pa niya." He smiled.

"Thanks, Jay." I smiled back. "Yan din ang laging sinasabi ng mga kaibigan ko but I guess I needed to hear it from a relative stranger." I chuckled.

"You're welcome. Always happy to tell the truth." He said.

"Teka nga. Ako naman ang magtatanong." I told him.

"Okay. Go!" He grinned.

"Ano ba talagang trabaho mo? Una kitang nakita, delivery boy at singing telegram, ngayon naman driver."

He chuckled. "Kahit anong pwedeng pasukan. Pinapasukan ko." He stated and I felt a little warmth creep to my cheeks again. "Basta trabaho na hindi ikahihiya at hindi bibigyan ng kahihiyan ang mga kapatid ko, larga! Isa sa sideline ko yung singing telegram. Pumapasok ako dun pag day off ko sa regular kong trabaho bilang waiter sa isang restaurant sa Makati. Minsan pag gabi, ume-ekstra din ako ng dishwasher sa mga bars. Pag linggo naman at walang trabaho, nakikihalo ng semento sa tinatayong building malapit sa amin, pang-McDo na din yun ng mga kapatid ko para may konting kunswelo pag maganda ang mga grado nila sa school. Ngayon, dahil nagkasakit si Ninong, dito muna ako kina Ma'am Francesca ng ilang linggo. Medyo mas maayos dito kesa palipat-lipat ng raket."

"Wow. Ang sipag mo naman but why. I mean nasaan ang parents mo?"

"Mag-isa lang kasi akong nagpapa-aral sa dalawa kong kapatid na babae, ako na ang Nanay at Tatay nila simula nung sabay mamatay sa aksidente ang mga magulang namin four years ago. Di ko na tinapos ang kurso ko pero buti na lang sapat na yung three years ko sa college para makakuha ng maayos-ayos na trabaho." He explained with a smile as if life didn't hit him that hard. I felt a little guilty for being over-dramatic over a breakup compared to what he went through.

"I'm sorry to hear about your parents pero hanga ako sa'yo. Your sisters are very lucky to have you." I told him as I gently placed my hand on his and smiled.

"Thank you." He whispered as our eyes held each other. "Teka nga... Bakit nalipat na sa akin ang usapan. Eh kayo po ang nasa ihawan." He grinned. "So hindi ka galit dahil mahal mo pa, meaning wala na ding kirot. Move on na?" He asked.

"Alam mo ikaw..." I squinted my eyes at him. "Isa din ba sa mga raket mo ang i-impersonate si Dr. Phil?"

"Hindi. Si Kuya Eddie." He laughed at his reference to an old Filipino song featuring a Filipino radio announcer who used to give love and life advice.

"Ang luma ah." I laughed with him. "Anyway... Move on? Getting there. Pero it's not about moving on from him ah. Mukhang kami pa nga, naka-move on na kami sa isa't-isa." I chuckled. "This is about moving on from the life we had when he walked out, because when he did, kasama lahat ng plano ko sa buhay eh. So, right now. I just feel so lost."

He sighed. "Aaah... Kailangan ng bagong plano." He told me.

"Obviously." I laughed. "Sinusubukan kong balikan yung naiwan ko. Culinary Arts kasi ang tinapos ko so I'm looking at career paths in that area pero parang wala na dito eh." I said as I pointed to my heart.

"Ano naman ba ang sabi niyan?" He asked. "Nasaan na ba ang puso mo ngayon?"

"Wow ha. Talaga namang daig ko pa ang nagpa-counseling sa'yo." I giggled but I was glad to have someone unbiased to talk to. "Nasa ganito." I said, gesturing to the ocean. "Sa kalayaan. Now that I can, I want to have the freedom to travel the world and just let the wind take me where it wants, ride the waves, take unknown roads, explore life and cultures and then write about them and paint them and record them in beautiful video presentations. Mga ganoon."

"Ayun. Mukhang may plano ka na." He beamed.

"Oo nga but that needs money that I don't have. Kailangan ko pa din ng trabaho." I pouted. "Could you refer me to one?" I asked.

He squinted his eyes and looked at me closer as he rubbed his chin. "Sa liit ng braso mong yan, mukhang di mo kakayanin maghalo ng semento o kaya mag-drive ng buong araw." He then took my hands and inspected them. "Masyadong malambot ang mga kamay mo para maghugas ng plato o magsilbi sa resto. Hmmm... Marunong ka bang?" He asked and I bursted laughing.

"Jusko! Hindi po."

"Sumayaw?"

"Hindi rin po.

"Umarte."

"Hindi. Ano ba?" I laughed. "Kaya kong magpa-pangit." I told him and made face contortions that made him laugh.

"Ang galing pero hindi effective." He said.

"Bakit?" I pouted.

"Maganda ka pa rin kasi." He smiled and stared at me intently.

I bit my lip nervously as my heart beat wildly in my chest, I felt myself drawing closer to him as if magnetized by his eyes. I promptly looked away to stop myself from doing something I could regret. "Oo nga pala. I didn't see you sa beach kanina and yet when you came here, basang-basa ka."

"Aaah... May ilog po kasi diyan sa malapit. Dun ako tumalon. Mas sanay kasi ako sa ilog dahil marami nun sa amin sa Laguna."

"Talaga? Hindi ko pa na-try mag-swim sa ilog." I confessed and in a spur of the moment decision, said. "Tara? Ligo tayo dun." I smiled.

"Sige ba. Let's go!" He beamed as he jumped up and offered his hand to me.

I reached up and took it as he helped me stand. We were about to walk away when...

"Naveah!" Francesca called and when I turned I saw her with the girls standing just outside the cabana. Denise was holding my phone and it appeared like someone was on the other line.

"Kuya mo." Denise said and held my phone out to me. "He needs to talk to you. Urgent."

I was about to reach for it when I realized I was still holding RJ's hand. Both blushing, we quickly let go and turned to opposite directions. I quickly snatched my phone and walked away, feeling the heavy and questioning glares of my friends on my back.