Collin
2628 Words
“Cara watch out!”
Bumulagta na lang ako sa mat na umiikot ang paningin.
“Cara, what the f**k?! Okay ka lang?” natatarantang tanong sakin ni Jasmine, ang ka-sparring ko, habang tinitingnan mukha ko.
The referee gave her a warning for foul language and stopped the game.
“Cara! Huy!” she snapped her fingers in front of me.
“T-tinamaan mo ba m-mukha ko?” I asked her hoarsely. I was seeing doubles and Tweety birds but unti-unti nang bumabalik sa normal paningin ko.
“Sayang nga, hindi e. I hit your headgear with a roundhouse. Tanga ka kasi.” sagot nya sa akin.
“Cara, ilan to?” the referee held out his fingers in front of me.
“Two.”
“Ito?”
“Four”
“Okay, you’re good. Tabi muna kayo ni Jas, magsisimula na ang sunod na laro.”
Umupo na kami sa bench tabi ng mat. Nag ta-tae kwon do na ako since I was in high school and natigil lang noong nag med school na ako kasi ang layo ng dojo. I met Jasmine here during college and sabay kami nag med school. Pareho kaming red belters and same weight category kaya kami ang pinag-sparring.
“Pinagbigyan lang kita kasi birthday mo e.” Palusot ko kay Jasmine.
“Kung san ka masaya, girl.” Tinawanan nya lang ako and I pouted.
Sino ba kasi iniisip mo, bakit lutang ka? Si Vincent?” Jasmine teased.
“Kailangan lalaki ang iniisip, hindi pwedeng future?”
“Future mong lalaki?” pang-asar nya pa ulit.
“Hindi, future kong babae!” inirapan ko sya. Ano nga bang iniisip ko kanina at nawala ako sa laro? Ah! Si Jaxx nga pala. Tae, sino pa nga ba?
“O ayan ka na naman. Tama na, mahal ka rin nun.” She laughed as she took off her headgear and fixed her ponytail. Sana nga, I thought.
“Tapos mo na application mo?” I asked, changing the topic.
“Hindi pa. Ano ba, March pa lang, July or August pa deadline. Sabay na tayo mag-pass. Surgery pa rin naman diba?”
“Yup. Pedia-surg or TCVS.”
“TCVS, big time! Neurosurg, ayaw mo? Nandun si Dr. Valle. Gwapo yun, bata pa. Gawa tayo ng Gray’s Anatomy drama.” Kinikilig siya habang naiisip ang pagre-residency.
“So mag-aapply ka sa Makati Gen para lumandi?”
“Hindi naman. Pero wala din naman may sabing bawal, diba?” she winked at me before turning around so I can untie her body armor. Sumakit ulit lang ulo ko sa kausap ko.
“I mean, come on. Ano naman gagawin ko sa limang taon ng buhay ko doon, puro aral at opera? Pano naman ang needs ko as a human being? Pano na ang sugat kong hindi gumagaling?”
“Shh, ingay mo!”
“Cara, alam mo ba ang first step to stop a bleeding wound? You pack it! Pack it real good!” humalakhak sya sa sarili niyang joke habang nagtakip ako ng mukha.
“Oh, god.” I groaned and shook my head.
“Ano ka ba, Cara, para namang hindi mo pa naipa-‘pack’ ang sugat mo.” Nag-init mga pisngi at tenga ko. Bakit ba napaka-kaswal niyang sinasabi lahat ng ito?
Nakatalikod pa rin sya sa akin while she pulled her armor off. Pagkaharap nya ako naman ang tumalikod to have mine untied kaya hindi nya napansin ang pamumula ko. By the time I pulled off my body armor, the excess redness in my face had already subsided.
“Anyway, Amaryllis mamaya ha. Drag Val along. Kaloy will be there. Let’s convince him to apply with us. Gusto nya kasi sa Medical City para malapit daw sa kanila.”
“Baduy, ang layo! Akong bahala diyan kay Kaloy. Bukas na bukas, Makati Gen na mag-aapply yan.” I confidently stated. I knew how to convince Kaloy and I knew he won’t easily change his mind, but I made it my personal mission to make sure he will be with us in Makati Gen for residency, starting at the party tomorrow.
Kaloy and Jasmine were my classmates and groupmates the entire med school. We were arranged alphabetically and magkakasunod kaming tatlo sa simula’t sapul: Claraval, Clemente, Cortes.
We were together during major rotations where in 2 blocks would be working together, and we could not escape one another in the minor rotations. A lot of times, magkaduty kaming tatlo and while they weren’t really the most hard-working nor did they have the best work ethics, I still wouldn’t exchange them for anyone else. I knew that they had my back and sa kanila ako natutong maging maduga sa ibang mga kupal na batchmates namin.
Kaya naman gusto namin pilitin sa Kaloy na sa Makati Gen na magresidency with us. Gamay na namin isa’t-isa and I just know that residency will be filled with better memories if I had both of them with me. Hindi ko na kailangan mag-dasal ng Prayer for Generosity araw-araw kung sila kasama ko.
“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” everyone was cheering me and Kaloy as we raced to finish our mugs of beer. Nauna akong natapos and I tipped the mug upside down in front of me.
“O, ano na? Makati Gen ka na?” tinaasan ko ng kilay si Kaloy. He finished a few seconds after.
“Tangina ka, bakla! How did you do that?! May daya!” Kaloy pointed an accusing finger at me.
“Hoy, pangatlong soju-bomb na iyon ha! You promised! Wag kang sinungaling dahil sinugal ko atay ko para sayo!”
“No! Hindi ito maaari!” maarteng sabi ni Kaloy before he walked out laughing. Konti na lang, akin na kaluluwa nun.
I was there barely three hours and I was almost wasted. Aside from the soju bomb challenge with Kaloy, we had a lot of drinking games. Noong nalaman ng mga classmates namin na malakas na ako uminom, everybody wanted me on their team. Pambihira, I was in a haltered bodycon dress pa naman, panira sa poise mga pinaggagagawa naming games. I almost broke my heel when I jumped for joy after winning the beer pong match.
I was beginning to see doubles but my smile never left my face, my cheeks were starting to hurt. I had to get rid of the extra alcohol in my system so pinilit kong isinuka sa banyo. I touched up and popped a mint before leaving the ladies room. On my way out, I bumped into someone. Muntik na akong mahulog but he quickly caught me, his arm ending around my waist.
“Sorry I didn’t see you there. ” I apologized to the guy. He felt familiar. I looked up to see familiar beady eyes smiling back at me.
“Cara, it’s nice to have you in my arms again.” He smirked.
I quickly disentangled myself from the guy. It was my ex-boyfriend. My first and only boyfriend.
“Hey, Collin. Can’t say I feel the same way.” My blood began to boil recalling what he did to me.
He pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “Still feisty. You know I like -- oh!”
“Don’t touch me!” I pulled my arm and stormed away. All of my hairs stood on end when I heard his malicious chuckle. Bigla akong nahimasmasan.
My heart began to beat faster. I wanted to get out of that place. I needed to get out immediately. I rushed up the stairs to the VIP room to look for Val. I scanned the room three, four times, di ko sya makita. I called her phone, it was out of reach.
Putang ina! I where the hell is she? I started to panic, tears blurred my vision as I frantically searched for Val. Memories of Collin and that night began to invade my thoughts. Pilit ko na tong kinalimutan, it had almost been eight years. Akala ko okay na ako, hindi pa rin pala.
An uncomfortable sensation began to build up in my chest. It was heavy and it was expanding each minute, squeezing and tightening over my throat and lungs. Nahihirapan na akong huminga and my heart was viciously beating against my chest, it hurt.
I decided to head back to the first floor to hide in the ladies’ room hoping to calm myself down. However, I saw Collin and his friends at the bottom of the stairs. I hesitated but if they were coming up, I had to be out of there. Maraming med school friends namin ang nasa itaas sa birthday celebration ni Jasmine and I did not want Collin to cause a scene in front of them. No one knew about our past, and I intended to keep it that way.
I slowly made my way down the stairs. One of the guys was talking to the bouncer. I tried to slip from them but he saw me.
“Hey, where are you going?” Collin purred. He pulled me back, his grip was tight on my arm.
“Let me go, Collin.” I said through gritted teeth. I tried my best to be calm but the fear of facing him and being alone was taking over. His friends turned around to see who he was talking to. Were they even the same ones? I couldn’t tell. I could only focus on his face and the spiteful look in his eyes.
“Leaving so soon, little kitty?” he pouted and tucked my hair behind my ear. He was standing so close I could see the scars on his left upper lip and right eyebrow.
“Stop calling me ‘kitty’, you pig.” I tried to sound menacing but this seemed to fuel him. His grip on my arm tightened it was starting to hurt.
“Collin, let her go.” One of his girl friends said. She looked familiar. I think she was the one who walked in on us that night.
“Wala naman akong ginagawa ah? We’re just talking, aren’t we, kitty?” He stared me, still not letting go of my arm. He was undressing me by just looking at my face. The brave front I put up was now crumbling and I was trembling. I knew he could see the fear in my eyes because his smirk grew more maleficent.
“Tara na. Let her go.” His guy friend pulled him.
“Teka, we haven’t even started.”
That phrase. That phrase triggered the waterfall of emotions associated with what happened years ago back in college.
I was about to burst into tears when my arm was pulled and Collin was ripped from me while someone else caught me before I fell to the ground.
“Keep your filthy hands off her, Diaz! You want me to f*****g break your goddamn face again?” Jaxx shoved Collin to the wall, taking him by the collar.
“I was just playing, Jack-ass.” Collin put his hands up in mock surrender. His friends and the bouncer quickly stepped in before lumalala pa ang sitwasyon.
“Pare, sabing tama na kasi.” Hinila si Collin ng mga kaibigan nya palayo but he didn’t leave without another word.
“You better keep an eye on your little girlfriend, Jackson. ”
“You better shut your mouth, Diaz, or I’m going f*****g shut it permanently.” They glared at each other before Collin turned away and headed up to the second floor.
“Cara, are you okay? Did he do anything to you?” Val asked me, panicking. I merely shook my head. Hindi ako makapagsalita, I was in shock and I was about to have a panic attack.
“Halika na, uwi na kita.” Val pulled me out of the club.
“I saw Collin sa baba when I went to the restroom. I had a feeling he was going to cause trouble so I called Jaxx and Ace. Mabuti na lang they were in a bar close by.” Val explained while we walked and I nodded.
I wanted to thank Val pero hindi pa rin ako makapagsalita. I was concentrating on controlling my breathing so I won’t break down. Hindi ko napansin na tumutulo na mga luha ko until sinalubong ako ni Ace. He wiped my tears with his thumbs and hugged me, pressing my head on his shoulder.
“Shush, hey. We got you. We got you.” Paulit-ulit niyang sinabi while stroking my hair. Then, I broke down. “’Lika na. Dun muna tayo sa condo. Val, condo muna tayo.”
I woke up on Ace’s couch the next day. I squinted to see na mataas na ang araw. My eyes were swollen, my throat dry. I had a massive headache and I was Ace’s shirt and basketball shorts. What the hell? I don’t remember changing!
“There’s coffee in the kitchen, milk’s in the fridge. How’re you feeling?” Jaxx stepped out of the room dressed for work. He was rolling his sleeves up but the dress shirt seemed a little tight over the chest and shoulders.
“Horrible. But definitely better than last night.” I massaged my temples. “Is that Ace’s shirt?”
“Yeah. Didn’t get the chance to go home, tagal mo gumising e.” reklamo niya, while trying to put on his tie. I wanted to thank him but nagbago isip ko dahil sa sama ng ugali niya. Parang hindi niya ako pinagtanggol kagabi.
“Can you help me with this?” motioning to his tie. He walked over and sat beside me on the couch, craning his neck while still fixing his other sleeve.
The calm beating of my heart became quick and erratic. I could smell his fresh-from-shower scent and suddenly na conscious ako. How could one question fluster me like this? Can I say ‘no’? Will he take it against me if I said ‘no’?
Instead, I fixed my hair absentmindedly.
Nagkatinginan kami as I nervously held on both ends of the tie on his neck. There was an awkward silence between us. Nahiya ako baka napansin nyang nanginginig mga kamay ko. I could feel him staring at me and I felt my cheeks burning. I leaned closer to avoid his gaze but jumped back when Jaxx suddenly spoke, a smirk growing on his face. “It doesn’t have a fine print, in case you’re looking for it.”
“Gago to.” Tinulak ko dibdib niya. Tapos ko na din naman ayusin tie nya. Ito yung mga panahong pinapangarap ko sing manhid niya ako.
“I was going to drive you home if you woke up earlier.” He stood up and settled on the chair by the door to put on his shoes. “But I have a meeting in twenty minutes so I gotta run. See you in practice later.”
“I’ll try.”
“Nope. You will be there. See you.” He locked the door without waiting for my reply.
“Aba, demanding?” I complained to no one.
Pero alam ko din naman that I was going be at practice later because I had nothing better to do, and because he was going to be there.
- Writer
