Love Me Again, Sweetheart

Chapter 8

"MAYA, do you hear what I just said?"

"Y--Yes of course. But I don't mind since I can manage going home alone though.” Pilit kong pina-pasigla ang boses ko but deep inside I was really scared of going home alone tonight. Natatakot ako at baka may nakabuntot pala sa akin na mga kalaban at basta-basta na lang akong pulutin.

He doesn't say anything so I took a glimpse at him only to find him staring at me. Bumilis naman bigla ang pagtibok ng puso ko dahil sa klase ng pagtitig niya. Bakit ganyan siya kung makatingin sa akin? Para kasing namamangha siya.

"What?" I asked in a calm tone.

“You're gracefully dancing there. I never thought it was you. You're looking like–”

“Okay. Sige na, aalis na ako.” Hindi ko na pinatapos pa ang sasabihin niya. Alam ko na ang kasunod sa sasabihin niya. He really thought I was Mildred dancing there, huh? Pinahid ko ang mga naglandasan na luha mula sa aking mga mata. Nakikita ba niya si Mildred sa akin?

Shit! Bakit ba ako naiiyak? I am overreacting!

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang nasa labas na ako ng bar.

Bakit? Kamukha ko ba si Mildred? Hindi naman ah! Hindi ko rin naman siya kahawig!

Oh, s**t! Why am I jumping into conclusions? Hindi ko pa nga alam kung ang nasa isip ko ang talagang sasabihin niya. Ewan ko, napa-praning na ata ako.

Sana pinatapos ko na lang pala siya sa pagsasalita.

“Maya.” Tawag mula sa aking likuran which makes me froze.

He followed me?

“I'm taking you home.”

“Ah, h-huwag na. Okay lang ako. Sanay naman umuwi mag-isa.”

Really, now?

I laughed at myself for lying. Alam ko sa sarili kong takot ako umuwi mag-isa pero ang ihatid ni Xandros? Mas natatakot ako pag mangyari yun.

Hindi ko rin sinadyang sabihin iyon. Hindi ko siya kinokonsensya. Yes, I admit that he never once send me home before but it wasn’t a big deal for me at all.

“It's already night. Baka ano pa ang mangyari sa iyo dito sa gilid ng kalsada. Konsensya ko pa dahil ako ang huli mong naka-usap.” He reasoned out pero hindi ako pumayag.

Does he really think I'll let him? Hindi ba niya naiisip na dating magkasintahan kami? He should have ignored me.

“N—No, thanks.” Sabi ko na lang saka pumara na ng taxi. Thankfully, may dumaan kaya sumakay na ako agad. I looked back at him from inside the car; he's standing there while looking at the taxi I'm riding on.

My heart hurt for rejecting his offer pero iyon ang tama.

Several years had gone by and still him. This stupid heart of mine still loves him.

Pagdating ko sa bahay ay naabutan ko si Ashton sa living room.

“Sorry, hindi ko nasamahan si Leah sa pag-uwi. Bigla na lang kasing nawala sa harapan ko while talking with Xandros. Sinabi na lang ni Xandros sa akin na hinahatid na lang daw siya ni Hazel.”

“It's alright. I've been calling Hazel to take her home anyway. So, did Spade send you home?” He asked so I shook my head as a ‘No’.

“I was riding a taxi. Uh, where's my son?”

“In the room, watching tv shows for kids.” Sabi nito. I get to the fridge and drink some water.

Parang panaginip pa rin kung isipin ang pagtatagpo naming iyon ni Xandros kanina. Hindi kapani-paniwala!

The longing that I felt is getting heavier.

“He's been looking for you.”

Napatingin ako kay Ashton. “Kaya nga pupuntahan ko na sa taas.” Nakangiti kong sabi.

He sighed.

“Xandros, he's been looking for you for so long.”

What?

“What? W—Why?”

He sighed. “It's for him to tell.” Sabi nito tsaka umalis na.

He's been looking for me? I don't want to overthink. I don't want to get there. Maybe he's looking for me because it's been years since we last saw each other. Baka kukunin niya ang kwentas na binigay niya sa akin.

Seems like Ashton’s trying to give me false hopes.

“Mommy, why did tita Leah come home earlier than you?”

“I—I talked to your daddy anak.” I told him. Wala na akong maitago, I need to tell him.

“Really, mommy? When can I see him?” I could see how his face lit up. The happiness in his eyes and in his voice were there.

I nodded. “Maybe before your birthday arrives, I'll let you meet him. That's a promise. For now, he's very busy with his work so he didn't have enough time to see us.”

Bahala na. Bahala na kung ano ang sabihin ni Xandros. Ipakilala ko lang siya sa anak ko at ganun din ang anak ko sa kanya. Hindi ko ipagkait sa kanya kung anuman ang gusto niya. If he can't accept our son then okay.

“Thank you so much mommy.” Kung ano man na lungkot ang nabuo sa puso ko kanina ay binawi naman ito ng kasiyahang dulot ng aking anak. He's happy then I'm happy too. Iyon lamang ang gusto ko at wala ng iba pa. He's my saving grace.

“So, tell me, how's your new school?”

“It was fun. I could easily get along with my classmates because they're easy to be with. The teacher's good to me too.” Sabi nito. I'm happy that he could finally have the chance to enjoy his childhood. I don't want to live in his traumatic experiences. I want him to come up with it.

“Just enjoy every day in your school, anak. The time you spent with your classmates and teachers, treasure it okay? Don't ever think of the goons because they're not going to chase us again. Not in your tito Ashton's watch.” Tanging tango lang ang tugon niya sa akin.

Sometimes I wondered, kung si Xandros man ang may plano ng lahat na gawing miserable ang buhay namin. Ano kaya ang gagawin niya kung malaman niya na sarili niyang biktima ang anak naming dalawa?

May mukha pa kaya siyang ihaharap sa amin?

I could feel my son hugging me. “I never worry about the goon mommy. I am worried about you. You’re always protecting me. How I wish I could protect you.” Sabi niya sa akin.

My heart ached about what he just said. My son’s too young to understand things and here he is, worried about me.

Good Lord, please help us not to encounter the same traumatic situation again.

I prayed silently.