A Year Again (TagLish)

CHAPTER 1: Goodbye For Now

I thought i forgot about you, but everytime i go back to that day, sadness comes and i cry. Why? Why did you leave me?

You could've experienced what people are experiencing today, you could have been happy achieving your dreams, we could have done everything we want to do together, i was hoping all the time to be by your side.

Now im here again, looking at you, hoping you're okay, holding on to what remains, but im still sad, i no longer can live without you.

CHAPTER 1: Goodbye For Now

I'm opening the box again, Alexander. As i open it, memories are coming back, all the happy memories that reminded me why im sad today. I saw the old film camera you used to carry around, and the pictures beside it that you printed yourself. It's all coming back again, the tears are coming again, i saw you again. Our favorite spot, with all our friends, smiling, just thinking of the future, just dreaming of our dreams. But im here today, thinking of the past.

I made it, Alexander, i did it. Yes, i did it. I reached our dreams, the job we wanted to do since we were young, im doing it all for us. If only you could experience it, even just today, i want to see that smile of yours again. Even just the tiniest of hope that you will come back, i need you.

ISABEL'S POV

I'm packing my things right now because im having a holiday break. The year is gonna end after 2 days, i don't know if im excited or not, it's another year without you.

Looking around to find things i can bring home, and i saw a butterfly, flying outside my window. The color of black and blue on its wings, it's beautiful, it reminded me of you. I started searching again for things, i almost forgot my favorite stuffed toy that i can't sleep without.

After an hour of packing, im finally done! Just gonna clean the apartment, and im set! I sat down on the floor to rest for a bit, then i remembered i forgot to eat lunch. I opened the refrigerator and im welcomed with a foul smell from the meat i forgot to close. "Yawa naman oh", i said and closed the meat. I only saw vegetables and snacks, so i decided to go out and eat.

I took a shower, and changed my clothes, now i feel fresh. I was combing my hair when i heard the door bell ringing, i quickly put the comb down and rushed to the door. I opened it and saw Kevin, smiling with a basket of fruits.

"What got you here, Kevs?" I asked raising my eyebrow, cause i was ready to eat out, and now he's here, knowing i have to entertain a guest. "I bought you some fruits, i figured you might like some, why?" He asked, while scanning my look, "Oh, you have a date? Where you going today?" He asked.

"Just gonna eat out, thank you for the fruits, ill put it in the fridge, really thank you!!" I grabbed the basket from his hand, and quickly organized the fruits in the refrigerator's section.

"Isabel, wanna eat together? You're also leaving today, i was hoping we could catch up." he said, with a big smile again. Im a very boring person, so im very bad when it's only me and another person, i might be too awkward and not even talk the whole day.

"Sure, but we should call the others, im gonna miss them too you know?" I said and broke the awkward tension with a laugh, i saw him smile, so it's a sign i should call them. "Do come in, Kevs, make yourself comfortable, im just gonna get my phone and call the others.", i said and turned around to my room.

I opened the door to my room, and took a step inside, then closed the door. I look around searching for my phone, but can't find it when i heard a knock from the door. I rushed and opened it, welcomed by Kevin's presence, he pushed a hard thing on my forehead. "Whaaat!!??" I asked, still shocked. "Your phone, is this it? Why do you always forget where you put your things?" He teased me and i looked at him with an angry expression. "You're always so mean to me, give me that".

He tried to put it away and ran with it, but he gave up right away before i ran out of patience, he knows me very well. "Aren't you gonna say thank you, Isa?" He asked with a pout. "Gross, you're just gonna tease me forever".

I opened my phone and messaged on the group chat, "Let's grab lunch today, ill be leaving tonight, im with Kevs now. Where should we go?".

I put my phone down on the table to wait for their replies, when i saw Kevs looking at the picture that are on the frames. "Isa, who is this? I don't think i know this one right here", he said so i went to him. "Who?" I asked, and he pointed to a guy, he pointed to Alexander.

"It's.... It's Alexander. A friend of mine, why?" It took time for me to say his name, it's been awhile someone even asked who he is. "Well, you two look very close, you must have been friends for a long time. How is he doing then? Im sure you're excited to meet your childhood friends", well im not exactly excited, im nervous and terrified.

"He's umm.... doing great actually. Yep, im excited just by the thought of it." I lied, cause i don't want this conversation to last long and go deeper just to remind me of my bitter past.

He looked closer at me looking curious, "Are you okay? What did they say, are they free today?" He asked. "Im gonna check now, you can eat some of the fruits you gave while we wait, there's also some soda there.

I saw Kevin heading to the fridge, i took a step then my phone rang. Who is it this time? I grabbed my phone from the table and checked who called, it's Tin, my best friend. I started the call, then she shouted "Im finally gonna see you tomorrow!!! I can't be there when you arrive though, okay lang naman diba?". "Tinay, okay lang, i understand very well. Kumusta kayo dyan? Sina tita at tito, okay lang ba?" i asked looking at Kevs drinking the soda and eating apples.

I heard her took a deep breath from the other line, "Hay, okay lang kami dito, ikaw ba? New Year ulit, Isay. Still, i can't wait to meet my favorite friend!!" she shouted from the other line, i can feel my ears in pain after that, so we just laugh it off. "Tin, kamusta sya?" i asked with a sad expression, i saw Kevin looking at me worried. "Bibisitahin ko sya mamaya, malapit na yung death anniversary nya, pumunta ka naman Isay".

Sinabi nyang mahina, soon after, i can feel my tears flowing from my eyes to my cheeks. "I miss you all, i can't wait to see you. Bye, Tin, kita-kits nalang bukas ha?" i bid goodbye, "Oo naman, namiss ka namin dito, bye Isay! Mag-ingat ka sa byahe ha, don't forget to bring water all the time!! Bye!" she shouted again, i can feel her excitement, that made me excited too, i smiled.

Kevin went to me with a tissue, "You just cried earlier, now you're smiling? Here, take this, mind if you say what happened?" he lend me the tissue and i wiped my tears away, "It's Tinay, i just miss them, you know? Finally, we will meet again" i said then hid my sadness with a big smile, looking like an idiot.

he sighed and hugged me, that was all i needed. He knows my wants and my needs, that's why im always blessed that i have a wonderful friend like him. "You don't have to tell me, but don't bottle it up, i learn from experience, it's hard when you have no one to go to, that's why you're lucky im here!" He said and laughed making fun of me again, but for real, im really lucky i have him and all of my other friends.

I broke the hug and opened my phone, just to see notifications of the group chat i almost forgot. Looks like they're all coming. There's 5 of us in the group, 2 boys and 3 girls. There is Me, Kevin, Andrew, Leticia, and our joker friend, Kaye. I'm always happy when im with them, i can talk to them about all the things except the past with him.

I opened the chat and they said we should meet at our favorite cafe, 2pm. Kaye also works there, and she can get out of shift by 2-3:30pm. I typed "Cool, i will get ready, can't wait to meet you again lol" i sent it and checked the time, it's already 12:49pm.

I ran to my room and stopped at the front of the door, i almost forgot Kevin. I came back to check on him, "I'm just gonna go to my room, you can watch TV, just gonna check if i should change or nah, ill be fast though!" I shouted.

"You're so slow, you better make sure this time, turtle!" He shouted back even if were just standing near each other. "It's just 12:50, relax, i have an hour to get ready, you sly fox" i said with a "taray" expression and went inside my room.

I locked the door and checked my closet for something i can wear, just something simple would be better. I rummage through my t-shirts, blazers, jackets, but still nothing. "Should i wear a dress today?? Hmm..." I asked myself. I opened another cabinet filled with dress, i looked closely and searched thoroughly, then there it is!! "This is just perfect for today", just a white dress with long sleeves. I should braid my hair, to give more style to it, i also wear my gold necklace, and put on some perfume.

I'm not very good with fashion, im actually very bad. I only wear clothes im comfortable wearing. I stopped and looked at myself in the mirror, like every normal person would do, but i ain't normal, i can look at myself all day, doing poses and such like a kid. I look bad, but whatever, im just gonna make it dirty in the end, just like what my mom said.

Now speaking of mom, i miss her. Now im thinking about her again, i just miss everything about her, even if she nags a lot, or gives me lessons about life everyday. I looked at myself again at the mirror, like i always do. Now i'm thinking what i should wear for the trip, cause i forgot about choosing an outfit. What should i do?

It took me awhile to get out of my room, ive been cleaning my closet from all the searching i did, when someone knocked. Obviously it's Kevin, but i like to think about a handsome prince, knocking at my door and opening it with a dramatic entrance, kneed and asked to marry my ugly face. They say i think like a kid, but i obviously don't, okay,?

I opened the door and he's looking impatient. "Isa, can't you see what time it is?" He asked while raising his eyebrows. "I can't see, why?" I teased him for a bit, but now he looks angry, he doesn't like people who are late. I sometimes wonder why we are even friends we're total opposites of each other.

I grabbed my phone from the bed side table, and checked the time. Oh shoot, it's 1:26pm, we can't be late. I let out an awful expression, and rushed to the living room. I saw Kevin sitting at the couch, with his feet crossing each other, and his hands making a beat just like a clock at the table, im sure im dead, really dead.

"Let's go! Did you bring your car? It will be hard to find a taxi around here" i told him before he even nag about it "It would've been better if you thought of that in advance, and now im a hero today, i got my car, let's go", he said, grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the apartment.

We saw his car in the parking lot, and because he is a gentleman, he opened the door for me, then we hit the road. Im so excited to meet them, and also to say goodbye temporarily.

We arrived at the place in no time, good thing there was no traffic on the way, or we could've been late. I saw Kaye coming out from the staffs room, as me and Kevin make our way to a random empty table, just talking to each other about random things that can come out of our mouth to avoid awkwardness. I raised my hand to signal Kaye that we're here, so she sat and we greeted each other with a smile.

The others followed us, first Leticia, then lastly Andrew, we scold him because he was late, he arrives 5 minutes late. We made orders and chat for awhile, reminiscing about the past, just like what friends do, then teasing each other, until someone gets angry lol.

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Me and my friends just met, we had a great time, we ate a lot and talked about numerous things. We had fun, because Kaye is always there, then we ended with a sad goodbye. I had to leave because i have to come back home to make use of my holiday break, it's been awhile, i didn't have the time to go back last year because i was extra busy.

My friends wanted to be there at my departure, but i told them ill be okay, and that im fine, cause im a strong and independent woman just like in the movies i watch all the time. It would just be sad seeing them while i make my way up to wait for my flight. I'm on the plane now, on my way to the Philippines, my homeland, my favorite country.

I grabbed my diary from my bag, then searched for my pencil, getting ready to write my journey on the way. I looked outside the window, watching the clouds, as the plane pass by, i opened my diary, and stopped at a certain page, because of a picture. I saw the picture of my mom, taken from my first film camera. I don't want to look at what's behind the picture, it's just a picture of him from the same camera.

As i opened pages to pages, i can really smell how old it was. It made me smile, it's a diary way back high school. I only write on it everytime something exciting happens on my life, i also write things i want to write. This diary is so old, that the color of the covers started to fade away. Because of its age, i also extended the diary, like adding additional pages into it, and also designing it to make it look new. I didn't paint it anymore, because i love the color it has, even if it's already faded away. I searched for the last thing i wrote, then moved to the next page to write something new.

I took a deep breath, thinking if i should even write or not? And if i will, then what will i write about?

Dear Me,

I'm going back to the Philippines! I'm writing this with a lot of thoughts in mind, im in the plane as im writing this. I just said goodbye to my friends, Kevin, Kaye, Leticia and Andrew on the way here, they're the best, i can just tell them anything i want to say, it was sad to say goodbye, but we did it well lol. I'm nervous seeing their faces again, especially all the memories that will come back to me as i set foot out of this plane. I'm hoping it will be alright, that i will be able to stay strong and manage everything. I'm getting ready on what's about to happen, especially my 1 week journey to the Philippines. It's been 2 years, since the last time i came back due to a holiday break. I'm still thinking about him from time to time, but i know i can get through this, im always strong, and it's been years, maybe this is the time i face it, right? I blame myself for everything that happened to him, and everytime this special occasion happens, it only remind me of him, it only reminded me how lonely i really am. I hope this new year will be full of happiness, i hope i can give a positive energy to my family again, i hope they really understand why i decided to work far away from them. It's been 9 years without him.

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I closed my diary and locked it, putting it inside my bag. My eyelids suddenly felt heavy, and im getting tired each second, so i decided to take a nap, and hopefully wake up with the light of the sun on my face.

END OF CHAPTER 1

Authors Note: Hi everyone! This is Siabella, and now i present to you all, this story i have in my mind for so long. I don't know how i can express it by this, cause i am really nervous right now. It's my first story, im not really good with words, that's why i use common words only, i will try to use two languages, which are English and Tagalog (Filipino). If you have any suggestions, feel free to comment.