feel something (Campus Playlist Series #1)

Chapter Six

Iana's Point of View

Artemis stood up, picked an empty bottle of Coke then filled it with some water and put it on the table and her phone. Nag labas naman si Trudis ng speaker from her bag then she played some music.

Ngumiti muna si Artemis na parang nang aasar sa bawat isa bago niya 'yon pinaikot. Honestly, this is a fun game but not a good game at the same time. Like, it's fun to know shookting things about your friends pero pag ikaw na, hay nako, no, hindi na.

Nakatitig lang ang lahat sa umiikot na bote habang tumatawa at nag iingay, hanggang sa tumigil ang tuktok ng bote sa tapat ni Kuya Apollo, mas lumakas naman ang tawa namin habang napapikit at napahawak na lang sa noo si Kuya Apollo.

"Okay now I'm gonna spin the wheel to know who will ask the question." Pinindot naman niya 'yung screen ng phone niya so the wheel started spinning and it ended up to Quia.

"What the f**k?" Kuya Apollo said, natawa kami kasi kahit kami hindi namin gugustuhin na matanong ni Quia. Paano ba naman daig pa niya si Kris Aquino sa sobrang lala ng tanong, mapapainom ka na lang talaga.

"Kapag hindi nasagot or nagawa bottoms up ah at bawal mag sinungaling." Paalala ni Trudis, actually umiinom pa din naman kami meron nga lang isang mataas na baso na nasa gitna ng table na puno ng Bacardi na kailangan inumin ng daretso as a consequence.

"Truth." Mabilis na sabi ni Kuya Apollo.

"Okay, so..." Tumigil muna saglit si Quia as she thought about a difficult question.

"Have you tried doing it to your opposite s*x? If you haven't, why? If you have, why pa rin?" Then she smiled.

"Ohhhhh!" Artemis exclaimed.

"Good question!" Sabi ni Kuya Red na parang proud na proud kay Quia. Minsan parang tanga na lang din 'to si Kuya eh.

"Ang daya, two questions!" Reklamo ni Kuya Apollo.

"But you guys didn't make a rule na one question at a time lang and the second question is related to the first one." Quia explained and of course wala na lang nagawa si Kuya Apollo because number one that's Quia talking.

"Fine. Yes, I did." We all literally exclaimed, "Whoooooah."

"Kuya, really? Oh my god, you're so gross." Parang nandidiring sabi ni Artemis sa kuya niya habang tumatawa.

"I'm so proud of you, Apollo." Singit naman ni Kuya Red na tumayo pa as he offered his right hand to kuya Apollo for a hand shake, which he gladly accepted naman.

"May chance ka pa talaga." Sabi ni Kuya Uno, uh actually Kuya Apollo is bisexual, he both like girls and boys but mas dominant siguro 'yung attraction niya sa boys? He never had a jowang lalake pa naman, parang puro crush lang.

I'm not sure, nagladlad lang siya nung pagtungtong niya ng 1st Year College while kami naman no'n nila Quia ay Grade 11 lang. Ang totoo, unexpected 'yung pag out niya that time like we never thought na he's bisexual kasi sobrang manly niya kumilos no'n.

And yes they are two years ahead from us, so they're all 4th Year College na and sila Quia naman ay 2nd Year and of course since I stopped for a year 1st Year pa lang ako.

"So why?" Quia followed up.

"I loved her." Another "Ohhhhhhhh," from all of us. Medyo unexpected but not surprising, parang hindi naman nakakagulat na nagkagusto siya pero somehow unexpected na he loved a girl, wait what? Ang gulo.

"Wait, are you talking about—" El almost whispered habang nagpapalitan silang apat ng tingin at hindi kami maka-relate, wala kaming idea kung sino 'yung babae.

"Let's not talk about it." Kuya Apollo said as he rolled his yes.

"Okay, let's move forward. Naiintriga pa naman ako, nakakainis." Reklamo ulit ni Artemis habang iniikot niya 'yung bote then pinindot ang spin button sa screen.

And poof— it pointed to me and nag stop sa name ni Kuya Red 'yung wheel. Napalunok na lang ako ng laway at medyo kinabahan pero ngumiti lang ako, ayokong sirain 'yung moment because everyone's having fun. And one question wouldn't give me anxiety naman siguro. The three girls comforted me by looking at me.

"Ahh— what does your tattoo mean? Explain thoroughly, kanina pa ko nacu-curious sa tatts mo eh." He said as he pointed to it. Nakatingin lang sila sa'kin at sa tatts ko, hinihintay nila 'yung explanation ko though my three friends already know the story behind this tattoo.

"Hmm, so it's a girl hugging herself— obviously self-love. It's actually a reminder to love myself with all my flaws, like you know, no matter how damaged I became." I said.

Tumingin ulit ang apat na lalake sa'kin as if they're asking for another explanation about me being damaged.

"Damaged?" Kuya Apollo looked so curious.

"Like emotionally or mentally, coz last year was pretty rough for me. We lost our business and Papa. I became emotionally unstable. But of course, kahit na gano'n I must still love myself, sabi nga di'ba at the of the day you only have yourself." I emphasized emotionally and mentally and the next sentence. They all know what happened to our family business naman eh and what it caused to my father. They gave me their most comforting smile.

Accidentally, napatingin ako kay El. He's staring at the floor, mukha siyang nag iisip then ininom niya lahat ng laman ng baso niya, I guess I triggered all his whys. Sorry, but hindi ko pa kayang sabihin, El. Pero konti na lang kaya ko na.

Kuya Apollo hugged me, "The f**k, I'm okay 'no." Dugtong ko habang tumatawa, pero honestly it surprised me too that I did not stutter explaining that, like honestly and truthfully okay lang ako. I guess, I'm having some development.

"But I begged to disagree sa last part, excuse me, we're here for you 'no." May pag irap pa na sabi ni Quia.

"Kaya nga, next time itatali ka na namin para hindi ka na makalayo." Pagbibiro ni Kuya Red.

"Oh siya next na." Tumawa na lang ulit ako and we moved on. Sunod na tumigil kay Quia ang bote at si Artemis naman ang magtatanong.

"Oh, igaganti kita, Kuya." Sabi ni Artemis, tumawa si Quia as Kuya Red tapped her shoulder to show his support.

"Very good!" Kuya Apollo said, madalas mag away 'tong magkapatid na 'to pero mahal na mahal nila ang isa't isa. Sobrang protective na Kuya ni Kuya Apollo kay Artemis.

Tumayo pa si Artemis bago mag tanong, ginamit niya pa 'yung phone niya as her microphone. Ang kulit din talaga niyo pero in a cute way.

"At some point, nagustuhan mo ba si Kuya Red? When and why didn't you push through?" Ngumisi ngisi pa si Artemis.

"'Yan ang tanong." Sabi ni Kuya Uno, umapir naman si Trudis kay Artemis. Nagpalit-palit ang tingin namin kay Kuya Red at Quia. Pero si El parang hindi pa rin nakaka-get over. I know him of course, sinusubukan niya pa ring makisakay pero obvious na distracted siya. Ugh, it's my fault.

Uminom muna si Quia ng kaunti sa baso niya bago sumagot, "Yes, uhh Grade 7, because I didn't want to lose a good friend that time pero ngayon sama na lang loob ang meron ako." She joked at the last part then she laughed.

"Actually, it's better to stay as best friends than taking another step forward, at least we can hate each other, we can fight whenever we want but hindi kami magbe-break. Right?" She continued then she looked at kuya Red waiting for him to agree.

"Yah." He said with a smile. Wait, is that a forced smile? Ooof, hindi naman rin kasi malabo na magka-gusto sila eh but Quia has a point. And if you know Quia, you would understand why she made that decision.

Quia lives alone in her condominium. Her parents are still both alive but they live separately. Her mom is in California while her dad is here, they own a well known five star hotel here. Hmm, Quia doesn't have faith in love because of that. Para sa kanya, hindi worth it mag take ng risk sa love.

We continued playing few rounds until it ended to El and me. It caused another short silence to everyone and another kaba to me. f**k.

"Ayun, pain." Mahinang sabi ni Trudis pero narinig ko pa din kaya medyo natawa ako.

"Oh game! Walang iiyak o mag aaway ha!" Pag aalis ulit ni Kuya Uno sa awkward silence, tumawa sila ng awkward kaya natawa ulit ako. Parang mas tensed pa sila sa'min.

Well, I guess it's my time to ask this question that bothers me for a while.

"Uhhh— goods ka na ba talaga sa'kin or you're still mad and napipilitan ka lang makisama?" Dare-daretsong tanong ko, because Quia asked him na intindihin muna ko, so naisip ko na baka kaya mabait lang siya sa'kin dahil doon. Baka insincere lahat ng actions niya towards me.

He looked straight to my eyes and for the f*****g nth time my heart skipped a beat. f**k, El.

"No, hindi na. You know me." He genuinely smiled.

Yes, hindi niya pipilitin makisama kapag hindi naman talaga okay sa kanya. "And it's all in the past, we're all moving forward, wala na akong kahit na ano pang galit— siguro ngayon may mga questions pa din pero galit wala." Ugh, I hate his honesty, nakatingin pa rin siya sa'kin but this time medyo may pain na kong nararamdaman because he looked like he wanted to know the answers already.

"Give me some time to answer those." I said without thinking na hindi lang kami 'yung nandito, as if kaming dalawa lang 'yung nandito at nag eexist and their silence contributed to that.

"Naiintindihan naman kita." He answered. Bakit ba kasi sobrang bait ni El? Sobrang hirap tuloy.

Ang daya dahil naging ganito kami ngayon.