Fairy Tale Fail (Ekis Babies #3)

Day 31

12:00 AM

SelfLove (Wade): May problema ba, Joyce Ann?

Bakit?

SelfLove (Wade): Hmm.

SelfLove (Wade): Nabasa ko lang sa status mo.

Ahh.

Wala 'yon.

SelfLove (Wade): Hmm.

Just old disappointments that shouldn't hurt me anymore.

What can I expect? Hahaha!

SelfLove (Wade): You can tell me about it?

SelfLove (Wade): I'm willing to listen.

SelfLove (Wade): Tutal mga lasing na 'tong kasama ko.

SelfLove (Wade): I'm all yours.

Masisira lang araw mo.

SelfLove (Wade): Nah. Never.

SelfLove (Wade): Basta ikaw.

Hay.

SelfLove (Wade): Ready na popcorn at sprite ko.

Siraulo.

Old issue lang.

I told my cousin about my surgery, right?

SelfLove (Wade): Yeah.

I wasn't really expecting anything when she told my mother about it.

Or maybe I'm just lying to myself to lessen the pain and the disappointment.

Kasi ganon naman, di ba?

Kapag sinabi mo sa sarili mong wala kang inaasahan, kapag hindi nangyari, hindi masyadong masakit.

Pero kahit paulit-ulit kong sinasabi 'yon, masakit pa rin pala.

Tangina.

Magulo ba?

Hahaha!

SelfLove (Wade): Hmm.

SelfLove (Wade): What happened?

Nothing.

Tinawagan ako ni Mama.

SelfLove (Wade): Isn't that good?

If only

SelfLove (Wade): Don't use that emoji. It's creepy.

SelfLove (Wade): What happened, Joyce Ann?

Akala ko itatanong niya kung kumusta ako? Kung ayos lang ba ako?

SelfLove (Wade): She didn't?

No.

She told me I deserved it because I can't take care of myself.

She told me to stop playing mature and to go back to Batangas.

She told me to stop being so stubborn about everything.

She did not ask how I am after the surgery.

She did not ask how I am faring right now.

Hahaha.

What can I expect?

SelfLove (Wade): I'm sorry.

Ang hirap lang kasi ayaw nilang suportahan kung ano ang gusto ko.

Ang hirap na sinasabi nilang nagloloko ako porket ginagawa ko kung ano ang gusto ko.

Ang hirap lang kasi sinasabi nila, they want what's the best for me pero parang hindi naman.

Parang hindi naman nila alam what's really the best for me; what makes me happy.

Ang hirap kasi kahit anong gawin ko, hindi magiging enough sa kanila.

Ang hirap kasi, pakiramdam ko, hindi ako 'yong inaasahan nila.

Ang hirap kasi kahit anong patunay mo, failure pa rin tingin nila sa 'yo.

Ang hirap kasi parang palagi na lang ako ang mali.

Tangina.

Hahaha!

SelfLove (Wade): Joyce Ann

Masama bang gawin ko kung ano ang gusto ko? Masama bang sa unang pagkakataon, ako naman ang masunod?

Masama bang kahit saglit lang, iparamdam naman niya na mahalaga ako?

SelfLove (Wade): Hindi. That's normal.

Parang kailangan ko munang talikuran lahat para lang matanggap nila ako. Hahaha!

Worth it pa ba 'to?

Parang hindi na.

SelfLove (Wade): If that's what you think will make you happy, in the end, I think it will be worth it.

I don't even know what will make me happy anymore, Wade.

SelfLove (Wade): You will find it.

SelfLove (Wade): I know you will find what will make you happy, Joyce Ann.

Ang g**o ko lang, 'no?

Sabi ko kaya kong mag-isa. Sabi ko kaya kong malayo sa kanila.

Pero at the end of the day, there's still this loneliness inside of me.

Hindi ko pala kaya talaga. Kinakaya ko lang.

Pinipilit.

My God.

I'm so lame!

And weak.

And a coward.

SelfLove (Wade): You're not.

SelfLove (Wade): Admitting your weaknesses doesn't make you weak.

SelfLove (Wade): Running away from it does.

SelfLove (Wade): Everyone of us has weaknesses and demons we have to face.

SelfLove (Wade): Strength means facing those demons and weaknesses despite the fear of losing.

SelfLove (Wade): You did well, Joyce Ann.

SelfLove (Wade): You did well.

SelfLove (Wade): It must have been hard.

SelfLove (Wade): But despite everything, you did well.

Seen, 12:32 AM

1:14 AM

SelfLove (Wade): Unang-una, parang-awa pero 'wag mo akong ipa-blotter.

SelfLove (Wade): Can you come out and eat this ice cream with me?

SelfLove (Wade): Hindi ko kayang ubusin 'to.

Seen, 1:18 AM

You're here?

SelfLove (Wade): Yep.

Why?

Wade: Silly.

Wade: As if I can leave you alone when you are crying.

I'm not crying.

Wade: You aren't but your heart does.

Wade: Labas, bilis. Baka matunaw na 'to.

Wade: May dala rin akong libro.

Fine.

Wade: Wow. Parang napilitan pa, ah. Hahaha!

Wade: Labas na, MM.

Ito na nga!

Seen, 1:23 AM

2:45 AM

Thank you, Wade.

Talking helps a lot.

Chat ka kapag nakauwi ka na.

Again, thank you.

You don't know how much this means a lot to me.

Seen, 3:29 AM

3:30 AM

SelfLove (Wade): No problem, MM.

SelfLove (Wade): Basta ikaw.

SelfLove (Wade): Tulog na.

SelfLove (Wade): Goodnight, MM ko