13th REAPER

9 | Live

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Reapers?

Did I hear it right? did he really say reapers? I gape at Archelaus who’s giving me a bored look. His deep blue eyes are void of emotion as I felt the wind blows making my hair dance and my body shivers. I don’t know if Archelaus was the one who’s responsible of doing this but everytime I see him or I felt him the wind always blows giving me chills and making my feeling worse than it was ever before.

“It’s impossible!” I yelled. I’m panicking inside and I can’t even control my thoughts anymore. “You? Reaper! How—you’re just my classmate—“ I swallowed my own voice.

Who ever thought that dying was this difficult? In the past, whenever I think about killing myself, I always thought that once I die I could end everything. I could end the pain. I could end the endless confusion and what ifs. I could escape from everything and free from the chains that bind me.

But, again, I was wrong. Who would ever have thought that I’ll meet a Reaper?

A cold and emotionless reaper who asked me to become his familiar.

Who would have thought that reapers and familiars exists? Who would have thought about all of this?

“I—Impossible….” I said again, as my voice drifted. I’m shocked and I feel afraid. Afraid of what will happened next and what does he really want from me?

He c***s his brow at me and sarcastically smile. “You’re dead, Serene. Isn’t that enough proof for you to believe?”

“What? Why?”

Damn Him! Can’t he see that I’m f*****g confuse here! I want to say something. Really! I want to stay away from him, but when I tried moving my feet off the ground I can’t move it. I feel like I’m bound by something again.

I want to curse him, really. Yet I can’t. Is he controlling me?

Is this really my after life? Am I meant for this? Is this fated? Na sa kahit anong mangyari—anong paraan ang maari kong gawin ay makikita at makikita ko parin si Archelaus.

How can he invade everything when he just transferred in my school few weeks ago before I die?

My thoughts are clouding my head but I can’t utter anything. Hindi ko masabi ng buong-buo ang gusto kong sabihin dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit magtapang tapang tapangan ako sa harapan niya hindi ko parin maitatago sa sarili ko ang katotohanan na natatakot ako. Natatakot ako sa mga nangyayari. Natatakot ako dahil hindi ko ganun ka kilala si Archelaus. I can’t even believe any words that he’s saying. Ang alam ko lang ay, oo patay na ako. And I only have two destinations. But, why?! Out of all places. Out of all time. Why here? Why him? Why?

“Serene Snow Pascua,” he dismissed my question like a piece of crap lying on the floor. Ugh! How dare he! I really, really don’t like him. I focus my gaze upon his eyes and I can feel the seriousness of it. My thoughts of how I hate him burst like a bubble and I give all my attention to him.

The wind was still blowing and I can still hear the clock ticking. Tumingin ako sa paligid, wala namang orasan o kahit ano pero bakit ko naririnig ito?

Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa kanya at tila nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko.

Why? Why he has this effect on me?

He moves his lips. I grip my hands hard anticipating what he’ll say next.

“Do you want to live again?”

What?

My pupils dilated. My heart flips. I can feel electrifying energy flowing from my body. I can feel my body slowly coming back to life. My body wants to live.

If some people will be given a chance to live again I know that they will welcome the opportunity with open arms, but me? Half of me doesn’t want to live anymore.

Kung mabubuhay ako anong naghihintay sa’kin? May mga magbabago ba? I don’t want to get back knowing that nothing changed. That my aunt still hates me. That they are willing to kill me just to get the money my parents prepared for me.

I don’t want to go back. I’m better here.

“If you will live again Serene. It doesn’t mean that you’ll have the same life you have before.” He said as if he can read my mind and I don’t like the idea of it. “Once I grant you the chance to live again Serene, you’ll live as my familiar.”

“What?!” I said, hysterically. Is he drunk? Or am I dreaming? No! I’m dead after all. And he said that he’s a reaper and a familiar? A f*****g what?

Where’s my phone? I need to search what’s the meaning of a familiar!? Oh, wait, Right—I’m dead.

Archleaus chuckles as if I said something funny. I look at him sharply and he returns to his signature look: Dark and mysterious.

“You cannot live without compromising Serene, you need to be my familiar.”

Hindi ko maintindihan. Hindi ko alam kung anong sinasabi niya at higit sa lahat tila parang lumipad na ang utak ko dahil hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko.

“Besides,” He stated again. “The contract has been formed.”

“What?!” What contract? I didn’t sign anything.

“You want to live again Serene. that’s the only rule I need to summoned you here, in this room. Once I summoned you, you are bound by my terms, my rules, and my wants.”

“Now, you’ll become my familiar whether you agree or not.”

My eyes widen with disbelief. Am I hearing this right?

“May karapatan akong tumangi Archleaus! Ako? Mabubuhay ulit? Para saan pa? I want this. I want to remain here. I am a person—“

“A dead person Serene. Don’t forget that.” He smirked at me and I really want to punch him in the face but like what he said I’m bound by his terms and his rules.

“A dead person or whatever thing you called it. I’m not going to live again.”

“You don’t understand anything Serene.” He took a step forward. “Your heart wants to live. Your body wants to live. Everything that makes you want to live again, you know why? Because you’re feeling regrets. You wanted to reset your life and make everything right. You wanted to have a second chance to make everything right. Your heart and soul don’t want you to remain here. They wanted you to feel alive. Not just breathe but alive.”

“Hindi totoo yan….” Saad ko sa mahinang boses.

“Ah, so you’re good at this. Denying everything that you’re not in control of. If you don’t want this then, why are you here? Why did you respond to my call? Why did you reach your hand and ask me to save you?”

“I don’t—“ Hindi ko naituloy ang mga sasabihin ko nang tila may mga alalaa na pumasok sa utak ko. I can see my dead body holding his hands. I can see myself asking him to help me.

When did I did this? I don’t remember anything. I closed my eyes. I want to remain here. I want to escape. I want to be here. Mali bang hilingin na hindi na masaktan? Mali bang hilingin ang ilayo ang sarili ko sa sakit na minsan ko ng naranasan?

Why does my body want to live? Why did my soul reach his help? Why is everything not in my control. Why is everything so messed up?

Is this a form of divine intervention?

Does the universe want me to live despite everything?

I slowly opened my eyes but I can’t see Archelaus anymore. Instead, I’m in a garden full of flowers. I can see petals dancing in the air as the wind blows. The sky is so blue and I can even see butterflies. Where am I? I swift my gaze and I can see myself. The six year old version of me sitting in the middle of the flower garden. Her big eyes are looking at me. I don’t know what she’s thinking. Like what she’s doing, all I can do was stare back.

“You wanted to live.” She stated.

“No!” agad kong sabi. She smiled.

“Where did your lies take you, ate Serene? where did your walls and hesitation take you?” she asked me. Then, I remember. It didn’t take me anywhere instead, it covered me with a thick metal. It restrained me.

“What did you gain?” she said. And I was speechless.

“Do you remember your resolve before you die? Do you remember what are your words to me in the bathroom, before you die?” the six-year-old me stand up and walk closer to me until she’s just a meter away. Suddenly the flower garden was gone and it was replaced with darkness. It was only me and my six year old version. I look down so I could see here clearly. “You’re doing it again, ate. You’re killing your own heart again. You’re killing me.”

Then, a bright light showed up and I close my eyes. Once I opened them again all I can see was, Archelaus staring at me with those deep blue eyes like the sea.

He’s waiting I know that.

Choices. I know. I suck at choosing. I suck at almost everything.

Mananatili ba ako o tatangapin ko ang pangalawang buhay na inaalok sa’kin?

I don’t what life is waiting for me. I don’t know what kind of changes that are waiting for me.

But, am I willing to risk.

My body wants to live. My soul wants to live.

Unti-unti kong tinignan si Archelaus na nakapamulsa sa kanyang dalawang bulsa at nakatingin sa’kin. I can feel my heart beating. Tila aatakehin ako sa puso at baka patay na ulit ako kung sakaling buhay pa ako dahil sa bilis ng puso ko.

I’m afraid.

But,

I need to be brave.

I remember his question a while ago. “Do you want to live?” I clenched my fist and heaved my breath.

Unti-unti kong inangat ang aking ulo at sinalubong ang mga mata niya na punong puno ng pagka-misteryoso. Slowly, my lips start moving, my fingers are trembling as I say the word: “Yes”

I saw him smirked and I felt a flow of energy going in and out of my body. I can feel pain in my whole body making my body sore. Tila hindi na ako makatayo kaya naman napaluhod na ako sa sahig at niyakap ko ang sarili ko.

“From this day forward, you’ll become my Familiar Serene.” I heard Archelaus said to me. “You’ll become an immortal. You are bound by my rules, my terms.”

Hindi ako makapag-focus sa mga sinasabi niya. All I can feel was the pain. Napapikit ako at napahawak sa puso ko. Sunod sunod na mabibigat na paglundag ng puso ko ang aking naramdaman. Unti-unti ko ring naramdaman na tila ba dumaloy ang dugo ko sa aking katawan. I can feel my nerves, my bones, my muscles beating inside my body and I can’t even breathe anymore. I can feel pain in my chest as my heart clenched.

Lumalim ang paghinga ko at hindi ko na kayang manatili pang nakaluhod kaya naman napahiga ako sa floor. I close my eyes then I saw my memories flash like a lightning and stop at a certain point.

It was the time when I died. The Heavy drops of rain. The cold night. In the woods. The forest. and Archelaus who was standing beside my lifeless body.

On that mystical night when I saw stabbed and died he did come to fulfill what he said.

Pagkatapos noon at tila biglang nawala ang mga sakit nanararamdaman ko. Tila parang ang gaan ng katawan ko. I suddenly want to sleep. I’m tired and I want to rest. I can feel the warm wind as the blows and is it weird that I can feel sunlight from somewhere?

I can’t see a thing because I close my eyes and I don’t want to open it yet. I want to rest. I want sleep to consume me.

I felt a hand touched my hand and I never felt better. Kung sino man ang humahawak sa kamay ko ay gusto kong hawakan na niya iyon magpakailan man. I want to be swayed by the feeling he’s making me feel. I can feel warmth and slowly the heavy burden that I have in my heart are disappearing.

I want to stay like this forever. Kung sino man ang humahawak sa kamay ko ay sana hindi niya na ito bitawan pa.

I tried opening my eyes to see who’s the one holding me. I saw a glimpse of his blue eyes like an ocean taking me to its waves and wrapping me in a tight embrace.

Is this a dream again?

An illusion?

With my lips I tried saying his name but I can’t. My whole body rest and sleep made its way to my system.

And I know by the time I open my eyes again I’ll be in a different world. A world that was never in my life I imagined it exist

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