He's My Ruined Luck

Chapter 7: His Boundaries

Lianne woke up in the middle of the night because of thirst. The night was unexpectedly humid than last night— even the air conditioning of her house wasn't enough to relieve the high temperature.

Bago lumabas ng kaniyang silid, mas itinodo ni Lianne ang air-con. Then, she put her shoulder-length hair into a tight and messy bun. She was fanning her face, there were some beads of sweat on her forehead.

Dumiretso si Lianne sa kusina upang kumuha ng malamig tubig na maiinom. Pupungas-pungas pa ang mga mata niya dahil sa antok kaya hindi niya napansin si Feliciano na nakaupo sa dining table. Akmang palabas na siya ng kusina nang hawakan ng binata ang kaniyang braso.

It took a couple of seconds before Lianne reacted. She gasped and was about to scream when Feliciano was quick enough to cover her mouth.

"It's me, Sweetie."

Nanlalaki ang mga mata ni Lianne habang nakatingin kay Feliciano. Her cheeks flustered upon realizing the situation; she was standing in between his legs and his hand was on his mouth. His other hand was holding her right arm and there was a mischievous grin on his lips.

"You should be sleeping by now," Feliciano said, removing his hand from her mouth. His head c****d to the right when Lianne's face turned into a deep frown. "What's with the angry face, Lia?" Natatawang hinawakan ng binata ang magkabilang pisngi ni Lianne saka pabirong pinlantsa ang noo nito gamit ang kaniyang mga daliri.

"Bakit gising ka pa?"

"Bakit ka bumubulong?"

Napairap si Lianne bago hinampas ang balikat ni Feliciano. "Ako unang nagtanong." She faked her cough before squinting her eyes at him, "Anong ginagawa mo rito sa kusina nang patay lahat ang ilaw?"

Sa halip na sumagot, tumayo si Feliciano sa kinauupuan 'tapos ay kinuha ang mug na nasa ibabaw ng dining table. Dinala niya 'yon sa lababo at hinugasan. "I'm about to go to sleep. Uminom lang ako ng gatas para mas mabilis akong makatulog," paliwanag ng binata matapos hugasan ang ginamit na baso.

"Anong oras na? Ngayon ka pa lang matutulog?"

"I'm a nocturnal owl." He shrugged his shoulders, leaning on the sink while raking his gaze on Lianne, from head to toe. "Adventure time," sabi ng binata habang nakangiting nakatingin sa t-shirt na suot ni Lianne.

Alanganing ngumiti si Lianne dahil sa hiya. Sa lahat ng pantulog niya, bakit niya ngayon naisipang magsuot ng malaking shirt at pajama na parang isang elementary student?

"What? Favorite kong cartoon 'to."

"So do I. I like Marceline to be exact."

Kaagad bumaba ang tingin ni Lianne sa print ng shirt niya. She's wearing Marceline. "Ako rin. I like her personality. Ikaw? Bakit si Marceline?"

Umalis sa pagkakasandal si Feliciano sa lababo at saka lumakad palapit kay Lianne. "I like her hair," he simply answered, standing in front if her, their toes were just an inch apart from each other.

"Her hair?"

"Yup. It flows perfectly every time she will move."

Lianne bit her bottom lip when Feliciano tucked some of her lose hair strands from her bun behind her ear. The tips of her fingers brushed lightly on her skin and sent shivers through her spine.

"It's time to sleep now, Sweetie."

Ilang beses napakurap si Lianne bago tumango. "Ikaw? Matutulog ka na rin 'di ba?"

Napatitig si Feliciano sa dalaga. Hindi nakalagpas sa kaniya ang mahigpit na pagkakahawak ni Lianne sa laylayan ng suot nitong t-shirt. She was looking at her expectantly— as if she wanted to say something.

"What is it? Ayaw mo pa matulog?" he asked, noticing how her eyes lit up.

Ang totoo, nawala na nang tuluyan ang antok ni Lianne. Wala siyang ibang gustong malaman ngayon kung bakit mag-aalauna na matutulog si Feliciano ngayong gabi. For the past days that he was living in her house, this is the first time he slept late.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang matutulog? It's almost one A.M." Hindi na napigilan ni Lianne na itanong 'yon. Her gaze averted to the floor, realizing her question was a bit overboard.

Wala namang sinabi sa kontrata nila na kailangan pang magpaalam ng binata sa kaniya tungkol sa mga gagawin at ginagawa nito.

"I'm sorry. Hindi ko dapat—"

"Do you want to know why I am still awake?" He coaxed her chin between his forefinger and thumb to lift her face. Their gazes met. "I can't sleep. Kinailangan kong i-paint 'yung bigla kong naisip kanina after nung interview natin."

Napatitig si Lianne sa binata, lalong tumindi ang curiousity niya. "Paint? So, you're still awake because you need to finish a painting?"

"Hindi ko pa tapos 'yung painting. Pero kailangan kong i-sketch 'yung idea. You see, hindi ako matatahimik kung hindi ko ilalagay 'yun sa canvas." Binitawan ni Feliciano ang baba ng dalaga bago nagpatiuna na palabas ng kusina. Sumunod naman kaagad sa kaniya ang dalaga.

Lianne frowned when Feliciano went straight to his room in her house. It was the guest room just across her bedroom. Napatigil siya saa pagsunod nang pumasok ang binata sa loob ng silid.

Natigilan naman si Feliciano at nilingon siya. "Hindi ka papasok? I thought you want to see my painting."

"P'wede akong pumasok?" Her heart started to beat faster when Feliciano extended his hand in front of her. Nagdadalawang-isip na tinanggap niya ang kamay ng binata at kaagad siyang iginaya nito papasok sa kwarto.

When the door locked, Lianne had the difficulty of breathing— specially when Feliciano stood just behind her. She could feel how close he was to her; his breath was fanning her hair.

"Uhmn..." Nabaling ang tingin ni Lianne sa ibabaw ng kama ni Feliciano. Katulad ng sinabi ng binata, nagpipinta nga 'to. May canvas, mga acrylic tubes at paintbrushes sa ibabaw ng kama. "You're really a painter. Hindi ako naniwala kanina," pag-amin ni Lianne bago napangiti.

Her smile froze when she felt Feliciano's front pressed against her back. "Hindi ka naniwala kanina? So, you thought I lied to the interview? I am really a painter, Lia." Hinawakan ng binata ang magkabilang balikat ng dalaga, marahang hinaplos niya 'yon na naging dahilan ng pagsinghap ni Lianne.

"To see is to believe," Lianne reasoned out, taking a step forward and getting off of his hold. Kaagad siyang humarap kay Feliciano nang makalayo nang bahagya mula rito. Her hands clasped each other in front of her. Her gaze gets stuck on the carpeted floor of Feliciano's room.

Then and there, she realized it was a wrong decision for her to enter his room. The hot temperature suddenly became hotter. Hindi niya maitatanggi ang mabigat na atmosphere sa pagitan nila ni Feliciano. The kind of atmosphere covered with heavy desire... And magnetism.

Something was pulling her towards him. Kaya napaatras siya bago napabuntong hininga. "Ahmn... I think, I need to sleep now." She needed to get away from him or else... She would end up throwing herself at him.

Hindi kaya ni Lianne ang ganoong kahihiyan. Everything was just a contract but here she was, feeling a strong attraction for Feliciano when she knows she shouldn't. He was the first man she felt such attraction. Maybe, she's being like this because she was never in a relationship. This was the first time a guy became close to her.

"I am painting a woman wearing a pencil skirt." Napaangat ang tingin ni Lianne sa binata dahil sa sinabi nito. "But she's only wearing that pencil skirt, Sweetie. She's standing and her hair was the only thing to cover her chest."

Napaawang ang bibig ni Lianne sa sinabi ni Feliciano. Kaagad na bumaling ang tingin niya sa canvas sa ibabaw ng kama. Hindi pa tapos 'yon pero halos tapos na ang ibabaw na bahagi nung babaeng ipinipinta ni Feliciano. Truth to what he said, the woman's long hair was spread in front of her, covering her chest.

Ilang segundo rin napatitig si Lianne sa ipinipinta ng binata. Unconsciously, her arms wrapped around her body. From the canvas, her gaze averted back to meet Feliciano's stare. He was looking at her intently.

"A-Ako ba 'yung babae?" Napalunok si Lianne. It's crazy for her to assume such thing but she's wearing a pencil skirt earlier during the interview. "Ano... Ano bang pinagsasabi ko? Nababaliw na ako." Lianne forced a chuckle, realizing she's babbling like an idiot now.

"It is you."

"A-Ano?"

"Ikaw 'yan. The woman I am painting is you." Diretsong nakatingin ang binata sa mga mata ni Lianne. He took steps towards her, closing the distance between them. "The way the skirt hugged your curve was beyond perfection, Sweetie. You were so vulnerable earlier too. It's nice to hear you talk about yourself."

Hindi alam ni Lianne ang mararamdaman. She should feel uncomfortable by the way Feliciano depicted her in his painting. But maybe she's going crazy— because she didn't. Instead, her heart was beating rapidly against her chest, her hands were perspiring due to anticipation and her body was burning.

Napaatras si Lianne hanggang sa maramdaman niya sa likod ng mga tuhod niya ang kama. She was trapped. "Feli..."

At times like this, when she felt breathless and cornered, all she could utter was his name.

"I drew your vulnerability in my painting, Lia. It's not your body. It's because you're beautiful when you're vulnerable."

Vulnerability— That was the reason behind Feliciano's depiction of Lianne being topless on his painting. For him, the woman's vulnerability was something to be cherished and appreciated. It was very rare to see any woman's vulnerability because women were created to be strong.

"You're quite poetic. I'm afraid I didn't get it, Feli." Ngumiti nang pilit si Lianne bago umiwas ng tingin sa binata. Napasinghap siya nang lalong lumapit si Feliciano. She has nowhere to go. So, when he leaned forward, her legs weakened in an instant. Napaupo siya sa kama at walang nagawa kun'di tingalain ang binata.

He was eyeing her— his gaze was piercing through her— as if he could see what's within her. She felt so exposed...

"Do you want to watch me paint?"

"Should I?" Lianne stared at his sudden smile.

Sa isang iglap, nabago ang paraan ng pagtingin nito sa kaniya. Gone was the piercing and heavy gaze. He suddenly became friendly and all-smiles again. Kasabay ng pagbabago ng tingin ni Feliciano ay ang paggaan ng atmosphere sa loob ng silid. Doon lang nakahinga muli nang maayos si Lianne.

Feliciano sat beside her, took the canvas and the paintbrush. Parang walang nangyaring itinuloy ng binata ang pagpipinta habang natutulalang pinapanood siya ng dalaga na hindi maiwasang mapahanga sa dalawang pagkatao ni Feliciano na mabilis nagpapalit-palit sa harap niya sa loob ng isang kisap mata.

The silence filled the room and Lianne watched him paint. The way he stroke the brush and mixed the colors proved his capacity as a painter.

"Why did you pursue engineering in college if you want to do painting?" biglang tanong ni Lianne na bumasag sa katahimikan ng silid.

Natigilan si Feliciano pero nakangiting binalingan ng tingin si Lianne. "There are just moments in our lives that we can't take what we want because it's not what we need." He sighed, giving her a shrug. "I was not a perfect son, Lianne. I was a ruin before college and I disappointed my parents so much. I pursued engineering to appease their anger and to start a new life."

"What do you mean about being a ruin? Sa paraan ng pagkukwento mo, mukhang ginalit mo nang malala ang parents mo."

"I did. They were so angry with me." Memories of bad past came back to Feliciano's mind. Sinubukan niyang huwag ipakita ang pagsisisi sa pamamagitan ng pilit na ngiti. Pero nang mabali ang hawakan ng paintbrush na ginagamit niya, kusang nawala ang ngiti sa labi ni Feliciano. "They cursed me. They regretted being my parents. Ako ang pinakamalaking kahihiyan nila."

"Feli..." Lianne didn't know what to say. She was frozen on her spot with the next thing he did.

"AHHHHH!" Gamit ang sirang paintbrush, marahas na ikinaskas ng binata ang dulo nito sa canvas na hawak niya. "AHHHHHHH!" The painting was ruined— Feliciano's tears fell like a rough and angry river.

"Feli! Feli! Please come down!"

"AHHHH!"

Napatayo si Lianne mula sa kama nang biglang ihagis ng binata ang canvas. Sunod na pinagtuunan nito ng pansin ang mga nasa ibabaw ng kama.

Lianne was so scared... She stood at the rightmost corner of the room, watching Feliciano as he loses his cool.

"Feli! Please... Tama na..."

"They hate me... Lianne, they hate me damn much."

Sunod-sunod na tumulo ang mga pinipigilang luha ni Lianne nang unti-unting kumalma ang nagwawalang binata. Bumagsak siya sa sahig at hinayaan ang sarili na umiyak.

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. f**k. I'm sorry." Hindi lumapit si Feliciano sa dalaga. He run his hand through his hair before he punched the bed out of frustration. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

The night ended with muffled sobs and frustrated groans. Lianne was scared and Feliciano was regretful. It was like a premonition of a tragic romance between the two of them.

However, Lianne accepted his sorry. He promised that it would never happen again. But the first rule of life was to not keep a promise you couldn't keep.