Redemption

CHAPTER 003

Chapter 03. The Call

I still remember my mama and papa's face clearly. It was a vivid memory but I knew they looked happy with me. We were in a park, celebrating my papa's promotion because finally, we can now live in a very comfortable way.

I wished things just go back to the past where I can still see my parents. Mas gugustuhin ko na lang manatiling bata, basta kasama sila.

But after all these sadness, I knew it was because of me. Kung hindi ko lang sana hiniling na pumunta kaming Mexico, hindi sila mamamatay. If we only stayed inside our home, or visit the places we used to, we would be safer.

I can still see my mama's eyes, she's crying, looking at me, begging at me to run. Wala akong nagawa, I got scared of the loud noises coming from the bad goon's guns. I ran as fast as I can. I abandoned them. I left them dying, alone.

How cruel, right? Dapat, sinamahan ko sila hanggang dulo. Pero hindi, mas inisip ko ang kapakanan ko. I was weak and not strong enough to stay with them.

Nagising ako ng tumunog ang malakas na buzzer sa kwarto ko. I saw lights flickering outside my room kaya bumangon ako at nag kusot ng mata.

I have two more days left, why are they here? It's not yet my time. Umaga na ba? Pero hindi naman morning buzzer ang narinig ko.

Tumunog ng malakas ang makapal na bakal tanda na may nagbubukas nito. Are they gonna kill me now by out of the book process?

But I was wrong. Bumukas ang pinto at bumungad doon ang mukha ng isang matandang lalaki. He's wearing a black suit, and there's an armed men after him.

"Autumn Niebes, you need to come with me." that's the only thing I heard from him. One look and his men started dragging me out of my room.

Hindi ko sinubukan mag-pumiglas. Mawawalan lang ako ng lakas. Kung papatayin na nila ako ngayon, might as well put up a fight! How cruel! 2 days na nga lang, hindi pa nila mahintay?

They brought me into a confined room. One glance and I already knew where I am. This is an interrogation room.

Really? What for?

I sighed. I'm tired of this! Palagi akong narito, kaylan ba matatapos ito? Mamamatay na nga lang ako, may ganito pa rin?

"I'm Marcus Park, FBI. I'm here to ask you some questions."

God, give me a break please!

"The night of the attack, where were you?"

I scoffed. Naka drugs ba 'tong taong ito? Sumandal ako sa upuan, napatingin sa dalawa kong kamay na naka posas.

"Are you high or what?" I asked sarcastically.

He then handed me out some photos. Tinignan ko ito at ngayon mukhang alam ko na ang dahilan ng lahat ng ito.

"If you're thinking I was one of them, think again, detective."

He nodded, claiming my statement true at some point. I assume he is a detective dahil ang mga ito, gawain nila. Ask questions. Nonstop questions.

"Why didn't you run, with them? Why didn't you save yourself?"

Nag kibit balikat ako, "I don't know, honestly. Acceptance?"

"Really? You already accepted your faith? After all these shits you did?"

I smiled, "Yes! I think of it as a purpose to, you know, meet God who I once knew."

Napa-iling siya sa sagot ko, mukhang hindi naniniwala kaya natawa ako.

"Do you know them personally?"

I shook my head, "Nah! I only knew Giovanni David. He talked to me once, about how the justice was unfair to me. I didn't even know him that much, although I heard from others he was an assassin."

"He is still an assassin. When was your last conversation?"

"About last week? I couldn't really remember since I stop counting my days." Lie, nung isang araw lang kami nagusap.

"I'm sure he told you about their plan, what was it? Where are you all gonna be if you went with him?"

"Uh, no. I know nothing about the whole plan. But yes, he did asked me to join them."

He nodded, "Right! Because Damien Shaw opened your cell. You were seen going out, but you didn't come with them. You knew! But you didn't told the authorities. Do you even know that's obstruction?"

I smirked, "What more will I lose? I'd be dead in two days before you even file that case. Besides, will it make a difference?"

He sighed. Sinasayang lang ng taong ito ang oras namin. Wala naman siyang mapapala sa akin talaga. Kung tingin niyang alam ko kung saan sila pupunta, umaasa ba siyang sasabihin ko 'yon sa kaniya?

"Go back and sleep. You will miss that."

Ngumisi ako, "Good luck finding them, detective!"

I don't think mahahanap pa nila ang mga 'yon. Once Damien Shaw got loose, it would be very hard to find him again because he is that good. I heard kaya lang naman siya nahuli dahil sa nangyari noon.

In my sleep, I always see my parents. Whenever it happens, I was always happy. But, they're not just the one always appearing on my dreams. Sometimes, I dreamed about how my life went dark.

I would see my younger self getting thrilled and excited whenever there's a big mission. I could even smell the blood of those I killed. They would be begging and I would hear nothing because what matter to me was money.

I bought a townhouse in New Jersey, and in Bulacan, while I maintained our mansion in Alabang. Iyon na lang ang naiwan sa akin ng foster parents ko at sana, hindi ko na lang din iniwan ang bahay na 'yon.

I tried to investigate my real parent's death, but I found nothing suspicious. It was declared how I seen it happened. Robbery. Manslaughter. We were ambushed by mexican thugs. They looted us but when they realized we are asians, they killed mama and papa. I managed to run and survived. But I was still declared as a mission person in Mexico.

It's just faith, huh?

I woke up from that darkness and my sanity went back to me, doon ko napagtanto na narito pala ako sa open space, naka idlip sa bench.

Other inmates started talking to me. Iyong iba, pinagdadasal ako, seriously, iyong iba naman puro positive na lang ang sinasabi.

I sighed. I look up to the sky and saw the big clouds peacefully guiding us. Today is D-Day.

Death Day.

Funny.

Later at 2 pm, I would be electrocuted. I'm kind of nervous really. Noong mga nagdaang araw, akala ko manhid na ako. Ngayon'g oras na lang ang nalalabi, nakakatakot pala talaga? Sana, injection na lang. Masakit ma-kuryente.

The prison guard whistled and five ranking officers enter the open space. Mukhang ito na ang sundo ko ah.

Nag tinginan sa akin ang mga inmates, ang iba tumango bilang pamamalaam. I smiled and nod to them also. Hindi ko kilala ang mga 'to pero naramdaman ko ang gusto nilang iparating.

Dinala nila ako sa isang silid ulit, may isang lamesa at upuan habang sa kabilang pader naman ay may salamin na malaki. I know it's a two way mirror.

"Your last meal will be served in a minute."

I nodded at them.

Kahapon hiningi na nila sa akin ang listahan ng mga gusto kong kainin. Marami akong hiningi, siguro mga nasa kinse na pagkain ata?

Wala lang, para pahirapan sila. Ngayon natin malalaman kung tutuparin ba nila 'yon o hindi.

Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok ang dalawang prison guard buhat ang isa pang lamesa. Mas mahaba ito kumpara sa nandito. Hindi ko maiwasan ang ma-excite. Mukhang tototohanin nila ah!

And finally, my last meal came. Puro filipino meal ang hiningi ko and deserts, fruits and drinks. Alcohol is prohibited so I have three glass of avocado shake.

Sinigang, adobo, chicken curry, pork giniling, bulalo, beef steak, shawarma, quesadilla, burrito, etc etc.,

"You have an hour."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"No, you better start now."

Bwisit naman!

Isa isa kong tinikman lahat. Damn it! I'm gonna f*****g miss all of it.

Habang kumakain, nagsimulang tumulo ang luha ko. I sniffed and glanced on the two way mirror. Nag middle finger ako sa kung sino ang nanunuod sa akin doon.

I'm really gonna die, right? Wala ng atrasan. Leche! Nakakainis! Ang sarap sarap ng kinakain ko pero iyak naman ng iyak itong mata ko. I will look weak, stop it!

Akala ko hindi ako maiiyak. Bwisit! Nakakaiyak pala talaga kapag ganitong mamamatay ka na. Mas mabuti pa pala yung biglaan ka na lang mato-todas. Hindi katulad ng ganito, nanamnamin mo pa.

Ng maubos ko ang avocado shake, sakto naman bumukas ang pinto. Five officers came in.

I sighed, "Can I have my last bowel?"

Natigilan ang mga officers at saglit na nag tinginan. Hindi ko napigilan ang tawa kaya lumabas 'yon ng malakas sa bibig ko.

"I was just kidding! Damn! If only you could see your face!"

Lumapit sila sa akin at pinatayo ako. Katulad ng palaging siste, may dalawang officers sa magkabilang braso ko na naka close sa braso nila. Isa ang nasa likod ko at isa ang sa harap.

Hindi ko pa rin mapigilan tumawa.

"Oh! Wait, then that's supposed to be my last joke!" and when I said that, and realized what I just said, napa halakhak na naman ako.

Oh, man! I'm going crazy, I know right? But hey, it's quite funny, no?

No?

The officer opened the steel door. Nagsimula ng kumabog ang puso ko. Punyeta! Naramdaman ko ang panlamig ng katawan ko. Mukhang napansin din 'yon ng isang officer na nasa kanan ko ng maramdaman niya ang kamay ko.

Pag pasok namin, malamig na air-con agad ang sumalubong sa akin kaya mas lalo akong kinilabutan. May isang priest sa loob at isang abogado, at ang deputy director yata ng kulungan na ito.

I finally saw the iron chair.

Not the one in Game of Thrones.

You know, the-chair.

Pinaupo ako doon ng mga officers. Sinimulan nilang itali ang kamay at paa ko, maging ang buong katawan ko sa mahiwagang upuan. Sa kanan ko, nandoon ang lamesa kung nasaan ang apparatus na gagamitin nila sa akin. On that right side of the wall, I saw the green and red button.

That's it, right? One push and hi San Pedro?

The lawyer started reading whatsoever about my case. After him, iyong priest naman ang sumunod at nag dasal para sa akin. Are you kidding me?

Oh, right! I just said my purpose is to meet the Creator. I shall not make fun of him.

Please, let me meet Him. I don't want to meet Hades. Let it be Lord Zeus.

Stop. Saying. Shits. Autumn.

Nagawi ang mata ko sa salamin na nasa kaliwa. Napa ngiti ako ng mapakla. Wala 'man lang akong pamilya na kasama. Kung sabagay, baka ayoko rin na makita nilang matatapos ang buhay ko ng ganito.

Mama, Papa, sunduin niyo na ako. Malapit na po ako.

I closed my eyes and started my prayer. I wish to see my parents after my death. I want to hold them again. I want to feel their warmth and love again. Or maybe, the Grim Reaper will make me drink his tea so that I would forget everything?

I wish not because I don't want to forget. Ayokong kalimutan 'yung masasayang alaala na kasama ko ang mga pamilya ko sa totoo kong magulang, at sa mga umampon sa akin.

I wish to see them too. Naging mabuti sila sa akin at kung noon natatakot akong mapunta sa kamay ng iba, nagpapasalamat naman ako buong buhay ko dahil inalagaan nila ako.

It was just me, who wasted all of that. I had a degree but I f*****g choose to be on the other side of the world and be evil instead of doing the right thing, all for the sake of what? Adventure? Excitement?

Hindi ko masisisi ang pangalawang magulang ko kung ikahiya nila ako. I embarrased their name they gave me. Maybe, they're shaking their heads up there, nagsisisi na sana ibang bata na lang ang kinuha nila.

In my prayer, after being grateful to what joy I had received all my life, I then stated my apologies to my parents, to my second parents, and to everyone I have caused pain. To the innocent people involved in every mission I did, I'm sorry. I resent myself too, for every wrong things I have done and I couldn't done.

I know sorry is not enough but let my death be your justice to your sufferings,

Rest assured that I will forever be guilty of what I did.

When I finally opened my eyes, the officer then get the tool on the table and he put it on top of my head. It's a round something that fits to any size of the head.

"Are you ready?" the warden asks,

I look at him and nod,

"Kill it, motherfucker!"

He smirked mischievously and turn his back on me. Naglakad siya palapit sa red switch. Tinignan niya muna lahat isa-isa, tapos huli ako.

One final look,

"Good bye—"

The telephone hanging at the wall rang suddenly. Binitawan ng jail warden ang switch box kaya bigla akong naka hinga ng maluwag saglit.

"Yes, sir.." the jail warden spoke, then he glanced at me while still talking to the other line.

He sighed, nodded at pinatay ang tawag.

"You are one hell of a lucky woman," he said, shaking his head in dismay.