To Have & To Hold (COMPLETED)

5

    Ilang araw na akong nakikipag-meeting sa aking Mancom team, at hindi maganda ang mga report na natanggap ko tungkol sa estado ng aking kumpanya. Kapag nagtuloy-tuloy ito ay mapipilitan akong mag-lay off ng mga tao.

    At the instant, I immediately thought of the families that would be affected by this situation. I imagined how hard it would be for them to meet their day to day needs while my laid off employees would still be looking for a job, and it pained my heart to think of my people and their families suffering.

    I recalled the time that my parents and I experienced hardship, as our business was taken away from us by my very own grandfather. Hindi biro ang pinagdaanan naming hirap at kahihiyan.

    Napahilamos ako ng mukha sa frustration, habang naglalakad patungo sa aking opisina. Hindi ko na nga napansin si Katniss, kahit nagpahiwatig ito sa akin na gusto ako nitong makausap.

    Gabi na noon at nagsi-uwian na ang mga empleyado kaya kami na lang dalawa ang nasa floor na iyon. I did not have to put on a show to anyone, and I didn't mind showing Katniss that I was in a bad mood. Tutal, sa umpisa pa lang naman ay ipinakita ko na sa kanya ang bad side ko.

    "Uhm, Sir Utt," narinig kong pormal na sambit ni Katniss. I felt annoyed that she called me 'Sir'. It was like she was distancing herself to me, when I should be the one making her feel that way. I don't know why it mattered to me, but I didn't have the time to figure it out. All I know is that I have mixed feelings for this woman. Nagtuloy tuloy ako sa kuwarto kahit narinig ko siya.

    I sighed as I closed the door of my office. I didn't even bother to turn on the lights. I just walked towards the glass pane overlooking the vastness of the city lights.

    The city was hovered by the dark night clouds and bright stars. It was the perfect setting for a romantic date I imagined with Shayla. Unfortunately, she's not available anymore.

    For crying out loud, Utt! Stop fantazising about Shayla. She's happily married, and with kids! Paalala ko sa sarili ko.

    Napailing ako at napaisip. Bakit ba kasi hindi pa ako maghanap ng ibang babae para sa akin? Ang dami naman diyan!

    At sa naisip ko ay naalala ko ang kuting sa labas ng kuwarto ko. Hindi ko pa nga pala siya nakakausap tungkol sa nangyari kaninang umaga. At hindi ko pa nga pala siya napagsasabihan tungkol sa suot niyang mini skirt! Isang araw pa lamang siya dito sa opisina ay pinag-uusapan na siya ng mga lalaking Mancom ko. She's beautiful and has a gorgeous body. I'm sure she knew that, but she didn't have to flaunt it like she was offering herself up to men!

    Napa-buntong hininga na naman ako. 

    Teka nga! I have so much in my plate para atupagin ko pa ang pananamit ng sekretarya ko! Oo nga't hinalikan ko siya, and damn, was I close to coming just with that kiss! Kailan ba ang last s*x ko? 

    Simula nang makita ko si Shayla at simula ng magkaproblema ako sa kumpanya ay hindi na ako nakipag-date. Wala akong gana. 

    Pero sa kuting na'to...f*ck! Just thinking about her almost naked on my bed in Palawan had me jerking off a couple of times last night! Sino bang lalaki ang hindi kung hawak mo na yung babae sa harapan mo, at kitang kita ng dalawang mata mo ang makinis niyang balat, malusog na hinaharap, at kaunti na lang, kita ko na ang pag-aari niya sa liit ng underwear niya? Bakit ba kasi nagsusuot siya ng lace bra at t-back na para bang always ready siya to f*ck? Nakakainis!

    She was obviously a temptress just like Angela! And I was sure that Percival or Gerard would have been attracted to her, kung hindi nga lang mahal ng mga iyon ang mga asawa nila. Pero hindi ko hahayaan na ma-attract ako sa kanya, dahil alam kong si Gerard din naman ang gusto niya. F*ck that sh*tty babyface! I should focus on my company and my people. That's what I should think about!

    "I need to do something. I can't let my people suffer!" Nasambit ko habang titig na titig sa repleksyon ko sa salamin ng bintana.

    Napatingin ako sa kalangitan at naalala ko ang Dad ko. Kung nandito lamang si Dad ay sigurado akong papayuhan ako nito kung ano ang gagawin.

    F***! I miss him! Napakagat labi ako sa pagpigil na tumulo ang luha ko. I suddenly felt all alone once again. It was the feeling that I felt when my father passed away; and I felt the need to protect the one that mattered to me the most- My mom. This time, I felt alone, and I felt responsible for the people of my company as well as their families. I wished I could call my Mom. Mas lalo tuloy akong nalungkot dahil hindi ko naman gusto pang abalahin at pag-alalahanin ang aking ina sa suliranin ko dito sa Pilipinas.

    Dumaan din sa aking isip ang ino-offer ni Don Emilio Romualdez.

    "Magpakasal at tumira sa bukid?" napailing na naman ako dahil hindi ako makapaniwala sa hinihiling ni Don Emilio. I don't have a problem with living a rural lifestyle, but marrying my cousin is atrocious! "The hell! I will never agree to that. Ayokong magpakasal sa babeng iyon!" Nasambit ko, at naisip ang sinabi ko kay Attorney Madrigal.

    Sinabi kong si Katniss ang fiancée ko. I only did that just to get rid of Celine. But what if tinuloy ko nga ang pagpapanggap at magpakasal kami ni Katniss? What if pumunta nga kami sa probinsya at magpanggap ng 6 months na mag-asawa?

    I think it will work because Katniss didn't have a choice. I received the reports from the police, and thru Marcus Pontes' help, that Angela was the only one who had the motive to kill Katniss. Akala ko pa nga nung una na baka ako ang puntirya ng mga armadong lalaki, pero kitang kita ko na iniiwasan nila ako, at si Katniss ang pinupuntirya nila. Marahil maraming alam si Katniss tungkol kay Angela na ayaw nitong mabunyag.

    Kaya naman napagdesisyunan ko na gumawa ng paraan para maproteksyunan sila ng kaniyang lola. I arranged for it without consulting her. I was confident that this was a win-win situation for both of us. Kailangan ako ni kuting, at kailangan ko rin siya upang makuha ang aking mana.

    Naputol ang pag-iisip ko nang may kumatok. I knew it was Katniss. I didn't bother to answer. I just heard the doorknob click. Katniss quietly entered the room. I could see her silhouette figure from the light outside my office.

    "How was the processing of your passport?" patuloy pa rin ako sa pagtitig sa mga bituin sa langit. I don't know, but I still didn't want her to go. I guess I needed to talk to someone.

"Ipapadala na lang nila sa akin." Tipid niyang sagot. Narinig ko siyang naglakad patungo sa aking maliit na coference table na kayang mag-okupa ng apat na tao. "I ordered Ramen for you. Kumain ka muna, habang mainit pa." Aya niya.

    Napalingon ako at naamoy ang Ramen nang buksan niya ang cover ng soup bowl. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng gutom.

    "Gusto mo ba ng soft drinks or water lang?" tanong niya.

    Napatigil ako saglit sa paglapit sa kanya, dahil pinagmasdan ko siya. She was beautiful even in the dark. Nakakabighani ang kanyang ganda, at hindi ako santo upang magpigil. 

    But I don't want to be involved with her. She's got her own moving on to do, and problems to face. Ayokong maging distraction pa kami sa isa't isa. 

    What I will offer her should be purely professional... I think.

    "Have a sit." Utos ko, at sumunod naman siya. I planned to tell her about my plan.

    Umupo kami na magkatapat, at nagsimula akong kumain kahit madilim, at ilaw lang mula sa labas ng kuwarto ang nagsisilbing liwanag sa kuwarto ko upang maaninag naming ang isa't isa.

"Kumain ka na rin ba, kuting?" I coldly asked.

"Not yet," tipid niyang sagot. "I'll just eat dinner at home."

Which home? I silently thought.

    It was so damn silent in the room, and I felt awkward. I never felt awkward in my life kaya nag-isip na lang ako ng gagawin. Inalok ko ang soup bowl ko sa kanya.

    "Huwag na! Baka mamaya may virus ka, mahawa pa ko." Nasambit niya at biglang napatakip ng bibig. "So-sorry," napakagat labi siya. "I'm not usually this tactless..."

    Napatawa ako, bago umayos ng upo at dumikwatro habang hawak ang soup bowl malapit sa akin.

    "Aarte ka pa, eh nag-share naman tayo ng laway kanina." Sagot ko, testing the waters between us. "At nung nasa bar tayo, you put your tongue inside my mouth. You contaminated me first, before I did."

    "Ugh! Do you have to remind me that?" napatakip siya ng mukha na tila hiyang hiya.

    I found kuting cute as she blushed. And I wondered why I was so comfortable referring to her as kuting.

    Well, because.... Because.... Because... she looked like a baby cat! Dahilan ko sa sarili ko.

    "I was drunk!" Naco-conscious niyang depensa, na lalong nagpangiti sa akin.

    "Drunk or not, you contaminated me first." Sagot ko, not minding if my mouth was full of noodles.

    "Okay, fine! But you didn't have to contaminate me back." Natatawa na rin niyang hirit.

    Napatawa ako at nagkibit balikat. "Now we're even." Sambit ko lang at inabala ang sarili ko sa pagkain ng noodles.

    I felt tensed, and I just continued to stuff my mouth with the noodles to have an excuse of not talking. But I choked.

    "Oh, my goodness! Are you ok?" tarantang tumayo si Katniss at nilapitan ako.

    I pounded on my chest and felt the noodles slowly going down my throat, and I was running out of air.

    "Drink the soup!" She squeeked in panic, and I followed her. Hinimas himas niya ang likod ko habang sinusubukan kong inumin ang soup ng ramen.

    Naramdaman ko ang pagbaba ng noodles sa aking lalamunan, at nagiging maayos na ang aking pakiramdam. Pero natutuwa ako sa pag-aalala ni kuting sa akin, kaya nakaisip ako ng kapilyuhan. I pretended that I was still choking and fell on the floor. I pretended to be unconscious.

    "Utt!" Napasigaw siya. She tried to pull me up, but I was too heavy for her. I heard her remove her shoes and knelt behind me. She tried to wrap her arms tightly around my stomach area and tried to pull me up. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Please don't die on me, Utt! Don't die on me!" She repeatedly whispered as she tried to force me up. Then she pulled me. I guess, she was trying to pull me towards the door, but I was too heavy, and heard her panting. Then she let me lie down on the floor. I felt her near face near mine. She was trying to sense if I was breathing, so I stopped my breath. Then, she placed her ear on my chest.

    "Still beating! Still alive. Calm down, Kat. Utt's going to be ok," she sobbed, then pressed her arms on my chest to do CPR. She pressed so hard that I almost threw up the food I ate. "Goodness, Utt!" She tried to pull me closer to her, but I pulled her to me.

    Napunta siya on top of me at nagkaharap ang aming mga mukha. I felt a warm glow inside of me as I saw traces of wet tears in her eyes glim in the light that shone on her face. I felt her sincere care for me. It seemed right to kiss her at that moment. And so, I did. I kissed her and wiped her tears. I saw confusion and fear in her eyes, so I kissed her again. Slower and gentler. I felt her lips respond to my kiss. I nudged her lips to part for my tongue to search for hers and suckled it. She was gasping for air, so I gently let her go. I could feel myself hardening under her, and I was sure she felt it, too. I waited for her response, if she wanted to take it to the next level. But I felt her quiver.

    "It's okay," I gently said after we kissed.

    "You were pretending, were you?" she asked. Kung totoo lang na puwedeng umusok ang ilong ay maaring ito ang nangyayari kay Katniss ngayon na mas lalong nagpapa-aliw sa akin.

    "If I said yes, would we kiss more?" I flirted.

    "Of course not!"

    "Then, no. I wasn't pretending." I calmly answered.

    "You jerk! Ugh!" Tumayo siya mula sa akin.

    Hindi ko napigilan mapatawa. Nag-eenjoy ako na kasama ang kuting na ito.

    "I'm going home!" She exclaimed and walked out from my office.

    "Yeah, the driver's waiting for you at the basement." Aniya ko na hindi pa rin tumatayo sa carpeted na sahig. In fact, inilagay ko pa ang aking mga braso sa likod ng aking ulo bilang unan, habang nakatitig sa mga bituin. "See you later." I said as I was confident that I was going to see her again.

    "I'm not coming back!" I heard her say from outside.

    "You will, kuting."

    "Stop calling me kuting!" She furiously said and heard her marching back to my room. Lumapit siya sa akin at napatitig ako sa long at slender niyang mga hita. She bent down to get her shoes, which made me have the opportunity to ogle at her thighs up to her behind that could almost be seen if she just made the wrong move. At dahil gusto ko pa siyang inisin ay sinipulan ko siya.

    "You are such an infuriating man, Mr. Sanders!" Irita niya akong dinuro. "Do you do that to all your secretaries?"

    "No," I simply answered. "Just to you."

    "Hindi ako bastusing babae!" She indignantly said and walked out. "I'm resigning!"

    "You can't." I said. "You don't have a choice. You need me. Believe me."

    "I can manage without you!" Galit niyang sagot.

    "Angela will have you killed, and you know that. Kung wala ako, hindi mo rin mapoprotektahan ang lola mo. By the way, I have already arranged to have her moved from the hospital to another place safer."

    "What?" nagulat na sabi ni Katniss at bumalik sa harap ko. "Saan mo dinala ang lola ko?" nakapameywang niyang sabi.

    I couldn't see under her skirt. Sayang, madilim. Napangiti na lang ako sa sarili kong kalokohan kay kuting.

    "Stop it!" She stomped her foot and moved a few inches away from my view of her skirt.

    "I brought her to my home." I answered.

    "No! Bakit sa inyo?"

    "She's safer with me. And you will go home tonight there, too."