Dangerous Emotions

XIX

F*ck you, Carter Chen! inis na bulong ng isipan ni Soleil habang umiinom ng champagne sa isang gilid. Hindi niya na malaman kung pang-ilang refill niya na iyon. Ang tanging alam niya lang ay kumukulo ang dugo niya sa kanyang asawa. Habang ang mga kaibigan nito ay nakatakbo kaagad sa mga asawa nito at malalambing, ito naman e dumiretso sa ibang babae at naroroon sa sayawan. Kilig na kilig pa man din siya habang nasa daan sila dahil maganda ang G*venchy dress na kulay itim at may lace ruffles na siyang suot niya ngayon. Litaw ang likod niya at talagang nagwisik siya ng mamahaling pabango dahil akala niya e mananatili ito sa tabi niya pero madidismaya lang pala siya.

She watched him and his partner laughing across the banquet hall. Habang ang host na si Liam Astoria at ang asawa nito e sumasayaw at naglalambingan pa sa gitna ng silid e siya naman ay narito sa isang gilid habang pinapanood ang dapat sana ay kapareha niya. Mukhang Intsik ang kasayaw nito dahil maputi at singkit ang mga mata. Kapit na kapit ang babae kay Carter habang ang hinayupak naman, pabulong-bulong pa sa tainga ng babae. Sa gigil ay muli niyang tinungga ang champagne na laman ng kanyang baso. Nagpa-refill ulit.

Gusto niya mang komprontahin ang lalaki ay hindi niya magawa. There were so many reporters around. Maaapektuhan ang mukha ng Alcantara Corp. Lalo na ang image ni Carter. Pero paano ba siya magpipigil kung sinusubok ng lalaki ang kanyang pasensya? Paano siya magtitimpi kung hindi niya mabasa ang kanyang sariling asawa na kilala naman na palikero at maraming ikinakama?

“Mrs. Chen!”

Kaagad siyang napalingon sa nagsalita. Si Nikolai Krasny pala, ang adopted brother ng isa sa mga kaibigan ni Carter. Minsan na rin itong nagbalak na manligaw sa kanya pero hindi rin sila nagtagal dahil hindi ito magaling mag-handle ng babae. Knowing the family, Soleil kind of understood that they were all rough and downright bad, that was why the breakup was not messy. Instead, they became friends, which was a better option for her. Nginitian niya ito at nakipag-beso-beso siya sa may katangkaran ding Russian-Filipino. “Nik! How are you?”

Tumawa lang ito at iginalaw-galaw ang isang braso nito. “Still recovering from certain injuries, Mrs. Chen. How about you? What’s new with you?”

She lightly hit his arm. “Please, call me Soleil. Hindi ka naman na bago sa ‘kin, Nikolai.” She bitterly laughed. “Oh, and I’m good. It’s just that, my husband got a partner so... I’m left here.”

Napasulyap ito kay Carter at mahinang tumawa. “Oh, that’s a shame. Even my brother and the other boys were on the dance floor with their wives. And your dress is beautiful, by the way.”

Umismid siya. “Well, what can I expect from Carter? I should’ve anticipated this, you know. I married a f*cking rake, so there should be no surprises about him having other girls around him.”

Inilahad nito ang kamay nito sa kanya. “I won’t mind being your partner tonight, Soleil. Would you?”

She smiled before taking his hand. “No, I wouldn’t.”

Nang makarating sila sa gitna ng dance floor ay nagpalit ang tugtog. Naging sweet na instrumental. Ramdam ni Soleil ang pagtayo ng mga buhok niya sa batok nang marahan siyang hawakan ni Nikolai at isinayaw sa gitna ng entablado. Nang mapasulyap siya kay Carter ay nakikipagsayaw pa rin ito sa babaeng kasama nito ngunit hindi na nakatuon ang pansin nito roon. Sa kanya na. Kahit may kalayuan ay pansin niya ang pagdidilim ng mukha nito. She stepped a little bit closer to Nikolai just to spite him, and the former did not even mind. Hindi ito umiimik at patuloy lang sa pakikipagsayaw sa kanya. Para mas lalong inisin si Carter ay hinayaan niyang bumaba ang kanyang kamay patungo sa beywang ng kanyang kapareha at mas hinila pa ito papalapit. She glanced at him and the Russian-Filipino was also staring at her. “Trying to make someone jealous, hmm?”

Tumawa siya nang mahina. “You can’t blame me. He started it, after all.”

“Well then, Mrs. Chen. Let’s do this the Krasny way.”

Nagulat siya nang marahas siyang hapitin ni Nikolai. Halos magdikit na ang kanilang mga katawan ngunit alam niya naman na umaarte lang ito dahil binibigyan pa rin nito ng distansiya ang pagitan nilang dalawa. She swayed her hips seductively as she saw Carter dashing from the other corner of the room. Tila pagkakataon naman na nagpalit ang tugtugin, hudyat na para magpalit ng mga kapareha. Nang tuluyan na itong makalapit sa kanila ay kita niya ang pag-aalab ng mga mata nito. Hinawakan nito sa balikat si Nikolai at iniusog ito papalayo sa kanya. “I believe it’s my turn to dance with my wife, Mr. Krasny.”

Ngumiti lang si Nikolai at binitawan na siya. Tumuloy naman ito sa kabila upang hiramin ang fiancee ng kapatid nito. While she and Carter were staring at each other, him almost wanting to burn her alive with his fiery gaze.

Mahigpit ang pagkakakapit ni Carter sa beywang niya nang mag-umpisang tumugtog ang awitin. It was saxophone. The place was instantly filled the s****l ambience she has been wanting to have with her husband. But since he has already ruined the night for her, there was nothing in the world that could appease Soleil.

“Gaano kadaming baso ng champagne ang nainom mo, Soleil Chen?” inis na bulong nito sa kanya.

She smirked. “It’s none of your business, Mr. Chen. Oh, and by the way, you shouldn’t have bothered interrupting my time with Nikolai. We were already enjoying ourselves as much as you do and I don’t need you to dance with me.”

Pagak itong tumawa at pinadaan ang mainit na palad nito pataas ng kanyang likod. Itinulak siya nito papalapit dahilan para magkadikit ang kanilang mga dibdib. As much as she wanted to be free from his embrace, Carter kept on pushing her body towards his. He kept his firm hold, as she felt her knees trembling. She has always made men around her follow her every whim but this time, it was different. He was overpowering her, destroying her walls and boundaries she has created to guard her heart.

“I believe it’s my right to butt in, since I’m your husband. Aren’t you even afraid of scandal, huh? Akala mo ba hindi ko alam na ex mo si Nikolai?”

Pagak siyang natawa. “Look at you, talking about scandal when you’re the one who’s dancing with somebody else here. Look at your goddamned friends, they were dancing with their wives and then there you were, dancing with another woman! So no, don’t lecture me, Mr. Chen. Don’t be a f*cking hypocrite.”

Kaagad siyang kumawala mula sa pagkakahawak nito at mabilis na naglakad papalayo, paakyat sa hotel suite na nireserba ng kaibigan nito para sa kanilang dalawa. Kaagad niyang ipinasok ang keycard at binuksan ang pinto, habang kita niya na nakasunod pa rin ito sa kanya, hinihingal. Akmang isasara niya ang pinto ngunit kaagad nitong napigilan iyon. He yanked the door open before walking inside, trapping her. Akma siyang lalabas ngunit nahawakan siya nito sa magkabilang balikat. Isinalya siya sa pader ni Carter habang binubuksan naman nito ang mga butones ng suot nitong polo. He was panting so hard and tears were already forming on her eyes. Hinampas niya ang lalaki sa dibdib paulit-ulit hanggang sa mahagip nito ang kanyang magkabilang pulso. “I command you to stop, Soleil! I said--”

“F*ck you! F*ck you, Carter! F*ck you for confusing me, for hurting me and making me feel like s**t, f*ck you! Ikaw ‘tong nagsabi sa ‘kin na hindi ka mambababae pero ikaw din naman ‘tong unang sisira ng usapan natin! I... I was so f*cking happy when you showed up earlier but now you blew it! You f*cking blew it!”

Iniiwas niya ang kanyang mga mata nang yumuko ito at salubungin ang kanyang mga titig. “Are you jealous? Tell me, Soleil--”

“At ano naman sa ‘yo ngayon kung nagseselos ako, Carter? Would you even f*cking care? You don’t even cared about me when you were out there dancing with that woman--”

Naputol ang kanyang mga sinasabi nang mariin nitong ilapat ang mga labi nito sa labi niya. Matagal iyon. Mahaba. The first drops of her tears started to trickle down her cheek as Carter held her closer, trapping her in his embrace and kiss. Nang humiwalay ito sa kanya ay mahina itong tumawa. “Damn right I would... Because making you admit that you’re jealous of my cousin is a f*cking achievement for me, baby girl. That was a relative of mine from Hong Kong, baby...” His chinky eyes stared at her green ones. “Soleil... I’m a new leaf now... You want me, you can have me... I’ve changed. No other woman could even make me faithful aside from you, Soleil. And I’m... honest. Dead honest, baby... I want you...” he muttered before conquering her lips again. “I want you, Soleil... Let me touch you, baby... Let me complete your life... Because the only thing I wanted to be in right now is you... You alone.”