Dusk Kisses

07

I sighed as i reach out for my cleansing wipes, i removed all my make up para naman di na mahirap tanggalin yung exes pag naligo ako.

"ay! 'wag tuldukan, expect the unexpected." she looked at her nails "malay mo baka bukas kayo na, who knows? ‘Di ba?" she shrugged while letting out an evil laugh and left me in my room.

I was dazed for a minute, pinagiisipan yung sinabi niya. I shook my head as a sign of disbelief

"you're right Sele--" i closed my eyes then shook my head harshly nang marealize kung bakit ko nababanggit 'yung second name ko "Lauri" i said in such a strong but low voice, "tama ka, malabo. sobrang impossible." I convince myself as I inhale sharply.

After cleansing my face, i took a quick warm bath para ma-freshen up ako. Though i don't feel that dirty. I did my skincare and as usual, nilakasan ko yung aircon para mas mahimbing ang tulog ko.

I had a hard time getting sleepy dahil ayaw ako tantanan ng mga salitang binitawan ni Aia. I was staring at my ceiling as i dozed off to sleep.

I woke up very very early kahit may pasok ngayon, ginising kasi ako ni Aia. Samahan ko daw siya mag jogging sa riverside. 

Hindi ko na rin maintindihan 'yung body clock nitong babaeng 'to! Matutulog nang napaka late tapos alas dos gigising para lang mag jogging? 

Baka nga hindi pa nakakauwi yung mga nagtitinda sa ilog, e! I suddenly felt nostalgic when i remembered our Lola.

She used to bring us there kapag bibisitahin niya kami sa bahay. After a long hours of jogging and playing sa mga damuhan she would give us a nice and hot champorado with a tinapa fish on top of it. Hay, i miss her na. I really wish to get a chance to meet her.

Today, i was just wearing a black nike sports b*a and a pair of black leggings, nag white running shoes nalang ako para balance lang yung colors. Bahala na kung umuwi akong black na 'tong sapatos ko.

"Alam mo, kung gusto mong maging banggag sa klase---ikaw na lang, 'di mo na sana ako dinadamay" i rolled my eyes as i filled my tumbler with water.

When i walked out from my room, i saw Aia unplugging all our appliances. She's wearing a pink racerback top tapos a pair of black leggings na may white strips sa gilid, suot niya rin yung black running shoes na binili namin last year nung pumunta kami sa South Korea.

After my tumbler kinuha ko naman yung water jug namin. I filled it with ice cubes, a lot of ice cubes. I have this habit kasi na ngumuya ng yelo, parang naging way ko na yun ng pag rerelease ng pagod or stress.

When we got there, agad 'kong kinuha yung purse ko at tumakbo papunta sa bilihan ng Japanese cake. See? Hindi pa umuuwi yung mga tao pero siya giyang na giyang nang tumakbo! 

I heard my sister call me.

Nilock niya yung car tapos sumunod sa akin.

"hoy babae! Wala ka pang ginagawa kakain ka na agad?" she's putting her hair into a tie "no wonder kung bakit wala kang suitors, taba mo kase" i know she's just annoying me, well done, she sht a nerve.

"body shamer, yuck!"

Anong taba sinasabi niya? I'm too thin nga! I gazed at my tummy.

I'll fill you up. Don't worry, i got you!

Sexy ko kaya, hay.

I bought five pieces, inaway pa ako ni Aia nang malaman niyang i didn't buy something for her. I laughed at her, pilit niyang inaabot yung small brown paper na usually-ing pinaglalagyan ng pandesal pero Japanese cake yung nakalagay. Tinataas ko pa lalo pero mas matangkad siya sa akin kaya tumakbo nalang ako paikot para di niya makuha.

"mataba pala ako, ha!" i teased her, parang iiyak na siya haha! As she should!

"manong lutuan mo nga 'to ng sampung ganyan" turo ko sa Japanese cake. I opened my purse to get some money, inabot ko kay manong "balikan na lang po namin" he nodded as i smiled.

Masama pa rin ang tingin sa akin ni Asteria and she's also pouting kaya natatawa ako 'pag nakikita ko siya. Ang mature, ha!

We rented two mountain bikes, tapos nag-ikot kami sa park. May mga times na sinasadya ko siyang banggain using the front tire kaya napapasigaw siya, using her superiority. Sus for all i know, takot lang siyang mahulog. when we felt the tiredness we both agreed to take a rest for a few minutes.

"okay ka na talaga 'no?" i started

"oo naman, ano pa ba'ng reason para hindi?" she gave me a manipulative smile,

Yung ngiting akala mo totoo. "isipin mo 'yun, dahil sa ginawa nila nabawasan 'ang mga taong toxic sa buhay ko." she paused then drank from her jug.

She licked her lips before talking again.

"Mahirap yun, nasanay akong nandyan sila, e. Pero kaya, kakayanin kasi wala na akong ibang choice. Di naman pwedeng mag paalam sila sa akin na 'uy, pili ka. Mahuhuli mo kami o magbubulagbulagan ka na lang sa red flags' you know me, i hate making a fool out of myself," she tried to mimic the voice of her friend before telling what she thinks about it.

I have so many things to ask her, but I think I need to keep it to myself nalang. Wala rin naman kasing certain answers doon. listenig to her mae me wonder...

Bakit may mga taong di makuntento?

sasabihin nilang mahal ka nila kahit alam nila sa sarili nila na hindi pa sila sigurado sa iyo?

Bakit may mga taong nagagawa pa maghanap ng iba?

Bakit ipaparamdam nila sayong importante ka, tapos iiwan ka nalang bigla-bigla. Ang mahirap pa, niloko ka na nga, wala pang dahilang maibigay kung bakit ka niloko.

Iiyak ka nalang gabi-gabi, wondering kung saan ka nagkulang.

Ganoon yung kadalasan kong napapanood sa movies.

Mga bagay na sana sa movies na nga lang nag e-exist, masyadong masakit at mahirap ihandle sa real life.

After a little while, we went back to the unit at naligo, we got prepared para pumasok, isasarado ko na sana 'yung unit nang nag ring 'yung phone ko, text message lang.

From: Kent Pogi

Got some breakfast with me, thought you might like it. What time are you going to school?

Damn it. Damn you Vasquez.

_______________________________________________

"Lauri paki abot naman kay, Joshan”

Kinuha ko yung staples kay marga and walked toward my classmate. Lahat kami busy ngayon, nagpe-prepare for the upcoming intrams. We're here at the gymnasium, nandito kami sa stage na part, dinidikit ang mga decorations na gagamitin para sa opening program ng intrams. The whole batch is here, well, except sa mga may sinalihan sports. Wala dito si Daustine, Mark and of course, Kent. Walang sinalihan si Michael but he's busy picking up the party poppers na inorder namin sa party needs shop. Masyado na raw busy 'yung mga teachers kaya kami na 'yung nag-aasikaso dito. Though, Busy rin naman kami pero okay na rin 'to kesa ma-antok sa loob ng classroom.

(Check the multimedia for better imagination)

"Thanks." Tipid na sagot ni Josh. He gazed at me for almost a minute then smiled before turning his sight back to what he's doing. It feels weird. Maybe because I don't see him smile often.

after then bumalik ako sa pag iinflate ng balloons, si Sy ang katuwang ko sa pag inflate ng Red balloons habang si Mae and Xera for the white ones.

"Joshan, tinatawag ka ni Ms. Antonio sa faculty"

i kept myself solely focused on the balloons, limited lang yung resources kaya kailangan ingatan 'wag pumutok. 

"Salvador,'' I looked over my shoulder as if it was a reflux, Josh was the one who called me. "banner" he tilted his head to point at the banner. my brows furrowed as he looked at me with his face, devoid of any emotion. his eyes were asking me na para bang sinabi niyang ano pang tinutunganga ko dito!

oh? anong gagawin ko? 

I wanted to ask hastily, just how he did.

I was confused but thankfully it didn't take that long to sink in. Pinapasuyo niya pala. I stood up and nodded at him. I tried my very best not to look straight in his eyes!

Hinawakan ko 'yung Ladder to check if stable ba 'yung pagkakatayo, medyo umaalog pero magaan naman ako. Sa kabilang dulo ay si Charles ang nagkakabit at dito naman ako sa kanan.

"hi! Have you seen Cielo?" I heard a very familiar voice.

"Cielo? Sinong Cielo?"

"S-si Vasquez..." Hanna's face seemed weirded out, parang sinasabi ng mukha niya na 'are you really his classmate?!' well, Kent's rather famous pero he's known to be called with his second name. Not Cielo.

"ah, si Kent ba?" Hanna nodded with a little smile on her face. she's... cute, though she has that prima donna vibes. Medyo-entitled feels, ganun. "hindi ko pa nga nakikita, akala ko magkakasama kayo? t’saka kasali 'yun sa swim fest, ah?"

"yeah, that's why i'm here," she paused. ako naman 'tong si tanga naghihintay sa sasabihin niya. I may even look like a weirdo, nakaharap sa ladder pero nasa likod ang atensyon.

"The event organizer's looking for him, kanina pa raw umalis..." my brows shot up.

Kent in his usual manner, so spontaneous!

"tawagan na lang kita pag nakita k----ayun pala oh!" my reflex betrayed me as I looked over my shoulder to check if he is really there.

He was carrying a couple of paper bags, sa sobrang familiar nung paper bag alam ko na agad na kape yung nasa loob."what? were you looking for me?" malalim at malamig ang boses pero rinig na rinig ko pa 'rin. Napakalinaw.

"yeah, bilisan mo, hinahanap ka na, i should get going, too" I saw her waved at them.

I was paying so much attention to them that I forgot to bring the pins! "Sht," I whispered. I reached it out from table habang nasa pangatlong step pa lang ng ladder.

"Hanna! 'yung rod---" nagulat ako nang biglang sumigaw 'yung isa naming kabatch mate. My eyes widened and as much as I want to go there, hindi na ako nakababa dahil may nauna na. Muntik nang tumama sa ulo ni Hanna 'yung rod---Kent was quick on his feet kaya the injury was avoided.

I witnessed how he wrapped his arm around her waist as he covered the top of her head while she's unaware of what was happening. Of course, the knight and shining armor...

I looked away even before my gaze turned into a stare. I inhaled a huge amount of air as if I was already gasping, there's a lot of unidentified feelings in my chest. they feel so heavy and so hard to even point out. ang alam ko lang mabigat sa balikat. It's like a mass inside my core.

I subtly shrugged with my shoulders, ignoring what those feelings feel like.

I should focus on what I'm doing.

yeah, right.

i stretched myself even further, hindi naman ako gano'n kaliit kaya confident akong maabot ko 'yung goal nilang taas nitong banner, I was at the verge of touching the wall and pinning the banner against it but the ladder suddenly moved as my eyes automatically widened! they almost popped out sa sobrang gulat ko!

for the love of God!

Everything went so slow...

I can't explain why I chose to let myself fall down even though I know that I can still balance my weight. I know I could... have.

I snapped back to reality when the ladder eventually kissed the floor as I heard my bones suddenly make a cracking sound when I landed.

Tangina, aray!

The loud echoing noise of the ladder invaded the whole room, it was so loud it has paused everyone from making noises. I groan in pain, gustong gusto kong sumigaw but i don’t know what was stopping me. Maybe to prevent severe embarrassment. Halos bumaliktad ako sa sakit pero hindi ko mailabas 'yung boses ko, para bang may nakabara sa lalamunan ko.

"Selene!" Just by how he called me, I knew he was in a state of shock, too.

ang tanga ko.

"Lauri!" I saw Sy stood up and walked rapidly towards me. 

Wala akong ibang maisip kundi yung sakit.

Sobrang sakit.

Buti nalang at naitungkod ko yung left hand ko kaya hindi ulo ko ang naunang bumagsak. "Gosh, bestie..." Mae approached me. she was panicking, bakas sa mukha niya na gusto niya akong tulungan makatayo but there's also the fear that she might aggravate the injury.

I saw how rushed upon walking towards me, his eyes were looking a shade darker as his face presented to be so pale. "fck!" panic can also be traced in his voice.

God, I look ridiculous here… I literally just caused a scene! Wala bang lupang kakain sa ‘kin?

wala akong ibang maisip kundi 'yung nararamdaman ko sa kamay ko. "m-my wris-t" I can't even utter words properly.

he was shouting words but i was unable to mind those, hindi ko alam kung ano 'yung una kong iisipin. 'yung banner, sarili ko, o 'yung mga sinasabi ni Kent. for a minute i thought my mind shut down.

"Ayoko nga!" I insisted. Pinipilit ako ni Sy na umuwi na dahil nandito kami ngayon sa infirmary, i sprained my left wrist.

"Mas matigas pa 'yang ulo mo, dapat yan na lang yung pinang tungkod mo" she crossed her arms over her chest.

The nurse already performed the first aid to me kaya medyo na ease yung pain. Hindi nila ako binigyan ng kahit na anong medication but they gave me the resita so i could show my doctor first and if my doctor agrees to what the nurse had advised, pwede ko raw bilhin ang nasa resita. I also have a blue arm sling and a wrist brace.

"Hindi ka ba talaga makikinig sa 'kin? Kailangan pa bang 'yung orthopedic 'yung kumausap sa 'yo?" i chuckled softly when i noticed that she's starting to sound like mom.

"Gosh, you’re such a mom" I laughed. She rolled her eyes and turned her back against me as she stomped her feet on the floor. I smirked when I witnessed how annoyed she was.

Like a mom, she looked so done. She whips her phone out of her pocket she then types on her phone. But to me, it looked like she’s just clicking random numbers just to make me do it according to her liking. "That's it! Tatawagan ko na talaga si Asteria" she took her phone out from her side pocket kaya agad akong tumayo galing sa pagkakaupo.

"Hello? Asteria?" She emphasized the first word kaya inagaw ko na yung phone. Knowing Aia, she's very over acting and dramatic. Pag nalaman niya yung pagkakatumba ko baka ipa CT scan pa yung ulo ko just to make sure na walang concussion na na-cause ang pagtumba ko sa ulo ko.

I hung up the call and walked out from the infirmary.

"Kailangan mo nga mag beauty rest!" She kept on telling me how much I need to rest with her arms wide open. I observed that it’s her mannerism. Motioning her hands whenever she’s trying to make a point out of something.

She's facing my back kaya tumigil akong maglakad at nilingon siya.

I held her left shoulder.

"Mishzka Syrus, I'm hella okay... okay?" I tried to make her feel less worried, nakukulitan na ako ng sobra.

"Required kasama first name? baho!” Seeing how she's pinching her nose made me chuckle.

"Ang ganda kaya ng pangalan mo," i laughed at her. the satisfaction hits different when I call her that.

“Russian-ish? Para akong nakakarinig ng tongue twister sa tuwing tinatawag nila ko no’n! kaloka, ” 

“Who thought of that name?”

“Lola ko,”

“Mom’s side?” i don’t know what kind of nerve i’ve hit but by the judge of how she looked at me? I know it’s a severe one.

After our little chit chat, dumiretso na kami sa gym and helped them finish decorating the stage background. Sy and her driver dropped me off sa building kaya I didn't have any problems sa transportation ko ngayon. It felt like a miracle! No one will ever realize how much that lessened my stress.

I changed my clothes, though i had a hard time dahil nga sa sprain. Sinunod ko yung sinabi ng nurse na mag ice compress para maibsan yung swelling. Tatawagan ko na lang si Doc mamaya para itanong yung about sa reseta. "A-aray!"

sht.

nasanggi ko yung wrist ko habang ipinapasok yung left arm ko sa sleeve ng t-shirt ko. I ordered a fast food para tuloy-tuloy na 'yung kain ko and bread nalang for dinner. I just ordered chicken nuggets. I’ve been craving this for god knows how long. I also ordered a choco hot fudge sundae and medium sized fries. I like to dip it in the sundae.

I was busy filling in my stomach when someone barged into our unit. When I trailed my sight at the door. I saw Asteria, she's in very deep deep... rage. She didn't even have the time to close the door at agad pumunta sa harapan ko.

"Sinong gumawa sa 'yo nito?!" I bit the insides of my cheek to stifle a laugh.

Kulang yata ang kwento ni Sy dito.

She kneeled in front of me to see my face

"Aia" i looked down, pretending to cry "A-aia nasaktan ako" i tried my best to release a tear kahit natatawa na ako sa pulang mukha ni Asteria. She stood up at nagpabalik-balik ng lakad.

"Bullsht!" She massaged her head. I can't even verbalize how she's acting right now. She seemed so much different from what I see on a daily basis.

Nakakaguilty naman.

She kneeled in front of me to level our faces again. "Tell me who did this to you" aww, i love her so much! She would do anything just for me. "Idedemanda natin ‘yon!" she uttered under her breath habang nilabas ang phone niya at parang may tinatype.

Ayoko na, natatawa na ako!

"Y-yung... hagdan k-kasi--"

"What?! May tumulak sa 'yo sa hagdan?" She scoffed out of disbelief. Her furrowed brows are giving me a really hard time! Natatawa na talaga ako!

"Hindi" agap ko habang umiiling, nag-aalala sa kung anong sunod niyang gagawin.

"wanna go back home? I can book your fcking ticket right now, I'm sorry you have to go through this. Sana hindi na lang kita... sinama dito." she fell on her own knees tsaka sinapo ang ulo niya. I was internally panicking when I heard a little sob!

"Shh, stop na." I saw a tear cascading from her eye. "yung totoo, nahulog lang talaga ako kasi..." parang hindi ko kayang ituloy ang sasabihin ko kasi nakakatawa na talaga yung itsura niya. like literally pinaka-funny niyang face. if i were to rate it? it would be one thousand over ten! "Umuuga yung ladder" I bursted into laughter, her face went serious kasi!

Hindi ko alam kung tatawa pa ba ako o baka wag nalang kasi baka madagdagan pa yung sprain ko.

She inhales sharply as if she’s mustering up all her strength, getting them ready to be out in the open "Lauri Selene!" 

That's the go signal!

Tinalon ko yung likod ng couch at dumiretso sa kwarto ko, i locked it and even pushed my back against it para di niya mabuksan.

Oh, gosh. I made her worry, right? which just means I'm good at acting!

I laughed so hard when I heard her curse.

"'Wag na 'wag kang magpapakita sa 'kin! Baka ma-confine ka pa sa ospital!" I can hear her annoyance "Argh! Ang sarap magbalot ng gamit mo! ipapa sundo kita kay dad, makita mo hinahanap mo. Ewan ko na lang!" i pursed my lips when she exclaimed those words.

I know pinakaba ko si Aia sa ginawa ko.

pero i was just pulling a prank! i didn't expect her to take it like that. I sighed until I decided to open my door. I went straight to the kitchen nung nakita kong wala si Aia dito sa lounge. kukunin ko 'yung isa pang ice cream sundae sa fridge.

Sinilip ko yung maliit na uwang ng pinto sa kwarto niya to see if she's there, nahihiya akong inabot yun sa kanya while she's wiping her makeup off. I grimaced when i saw her reflection sa vanity mirror, she rolled her eyes. i can't believe na mas binibaby ko pa siya gayong ako yung mas bata.

"Ano naman yan?" Mataray niyang sabi.

"Peace... offering?" I bit my lower lip, I tried so hard to hide my smile within my lips when she took it although nakasimangot pa rin siya. hayy... I can't deny that that made me feel relieved.

"Asan ang kutsara?!" She sassily raised her brow so I rushed to the lounge, kinuha ko 'yung small spoon sa coffee table.

I smiled nung hindi niya na ako tinarayan. normal bang maging masungit kapag nasaktan?

I stared at her as she laughed, nanonood kami ngayon ng favorite tv series namin sa netflix. Swerte yung magiging asawa ni Ate. She's very responsible, maganda, intelligent, tapos she also got the humor. Total package, right?

How I wish I was like her. We're total opposites, mas maganda ako.

I closed my eyes when I felt my eyelids become heavy. Hindi ko na rin napasin na unti-unti na pala akong nakatulog. 

The next day, i woke up on my bed. Di ko alam kung paano ako napunta doon pero di na ako nag abalang alamin pa. I took a very quick shower, brushed my teeth then did my skincare, sinuot ko na rin yung uniform ko. It was just a white blouse with a tie and the dark red belt along with it tsaka dark red din skirt na knee length. Parang maroon na rin pero mas dark pa sa maroon.

Kumuha na rin ako ng pair of socks, mamaya ko susuotin kapag palabas na kami, when i came out from my room i checked the wall clock. I still have 30 minutes kaya nag cereal muna ako tsaka kami umalis.

"Sure ka ba na di na masakit 'yang sprain mo? Pwede naman kita i-excuse nalang, ipahinga mo na lang 'yan,” I swear, only a thin string was holding me back from being touched.

"You concern? Di naman gano'n ka severe 'yung nangyari, wag ka ngang over," I tried to sound enthusiastic to make her feel less worried.

we're in the parking when i suddenly remembered something, yung thank you treat ko pala kay manong driver ni Kent. Gosh, di ko pa rin alam yung pangalan niya, i should have asked his name kay Kent. Di naman gaano karami 'yung mga sumali sa intrams sa grade level namin pero mahahalata mo talagang may kulang sa classroom dahil sa empty seats. Ganun pa rin ang nangyari, tinuloy namin yung pag gawa ng decorations and we're on the latter half way to be finished. Finally. Natapos kami ng around 12:28 in the afternoon kaya medyo late na kami nakapag lunch.

Shining with all the glitters that have adhered to her skin, Syrus kept on dusting them off. Naiirita na nga siya dahil hindi raw talaga matangal, leaving her options down to two. Either bathe or just let it be. "Hindi ko na keri, puro glitters nako! Daig ko pa yung shining shimmering armor!" Kung kahapon ay sa balloons kami, ngayon naman ay yung mga letters na 3d tapos lalagyan ng glitters. Pang awarding ceremony.

"Ayaw mo no'n? You shine bright like a diamond" pangbibiro ko pa.

Mae exaggeratedly widened her eyes, acting so surprised. "Oh my gosh, mapapansin ka na ng crush mo!" Mae squealed habang dahan dahang tinatap yung braso ni Sy.

Syrus just rolled her eyes and continued to shake off the glitters on her.

"Pag ako talaga, nagka-jowa walang mag sasana all, ah" Mae and i laughed at her, siya ang pinaka hopeless romantic sa amin.

"you wish!" Mae started to tease her again.

My laugh faded away when i noticed Xera's silence, nakatutok sa phone at halatang napipikon. I turned my face a little sideways to Sy's direction. Kami ang magkatabi sa lamesa. But to no avail, She just shrugged imperceptibly nung nagets niya ang iniisip ko.

We ate quickly kasi di pa naman doon natatapos yung gagawin namin sa araw na 'to. May kanya-kanyang gagawin sa mga sariling clubs kaya kasama ko na naman si Syrus, dumiretso na kami agad sa DALC gym

Isa ang club namin sa mga magpeperform sa opening remarks ng intramurals.

This time, iningatan ko na ang kilos ko. I still made mistakes but not as much as before. Nagkakamali ako dahil isang kamay nga lang ang gamit ko kasi may sprain ako.

"Tara kain" i looked around to see kung sino yung nagyayaya. It was Ela, lower level

"Sa'n ba? Ate sama kayo?" Tumingin sa amin ni Sy 'yung isa pang lower level na babae.

"kayo na lang, hinihintay ko pa si Sy," i gave her a small smile.

Kahit mas mababang level sila, mas marunong sila sa akin dahil mas nauna sila naging member. Sometimes, I can't help but stare at them whenever they’re taking the lead. Ang galing kasi talaga nila.

"I like her," biglang sabi ni Syrus sa gilid ko, inaayos ang gamit sa locker.

With my brows furrowed, I asked her, "Sino dun? "

"Ela," she casually said. I tilted my head on the side, figuring something out. I stepped back with my wide eyes when I thought of something very outrageous.

"you're attracted to girls?" I dramatically covered my mouth. 

I know she's not pero it feels stress relieving to tease her. Hinampas niya ako sa braso at nagpapadyak sa sahig.

"I'm not homophobic but why would you even think of that?! I just like her kasi she's nice!" She drastically stated. "ang malisyosa mo!" I was hysterically laughing. Seeing her this annoyed is a whole different level of satisfaction.

Nilock niya ng padabog 'yung locker niya at binuhat ang water jug niya.

I put both of my hands in the air as though I was surrendering. "Okay, chill... I was just kidding.” I teased her with my laugh.

"Mas straight pa ako sa buhok ko! ‘Di naman big deal sa 'kin kung wala ng lalaking papatol sa 'kin. I'm a beautiful independent woman" she flipped her hair and went out from the gym. I just followed her from behind. "luh, charot lang! baka mamaya 'di na 'ko i-crush back!" she said, causing me to laugh. kahit anong usapan talaga masisingit niya yung crush niya. It’s like everything about her is already connected to her crush. Soulmate shts daw. "So umaasa ka talaga? sure ka bang mabait yun?” I realized what I said so I backed it up in my defense abruptly. “I mean no offense but based on how you said he treats you? i don't think he's worth it" I tried to execute my point. I wish I’ve been damn clear. Ayokong ma-misinterpret niya ako. natigilan siya sandali na para bang nag iisip ng sasabihin while pursing her lips. 

"mabait naman siya sa friends niya--nakita ko lang... siguro wala pa talaga ako sa ganoong level para pagbaitan niya? Who knows 'di ba?" 

I know there’s so much left to say, pero choice niya yun. Not a single word from me would change her mind. It’s just not likely to happen. "okay... sabi mo, e"

"Ikaw porket may bebe ka, saya-saya mo, ah. Pag na broken ka wag kang iiyak sa 'kin," she diverted the topic. In so much surprise, my brows furrowed just when I heard what she asserted. "Meron pala? di ako oriented" I casually said with frustration tracing along my face.

"uy duda ako d'yan. Sabihin mo lang pag ayaw mo ah, ligawan ko. Boyfriend material, e," she paused. "Ay hindi pala...pang husband material na," she winked. I know she's just joking. Tsaka wala naman akong boyfriend nor manliligaw.

"sige na, sa 'yo na" Papunta kaming labas ngayon, bibili lang ako ng ice cream. "Ano kaya 'yung feeling, 'no? sometimes, i can't help but be curious about it," I glanced at her to see her face "Pero... Natatakot rin akong subukan" I awkwardly smiled then poured her an ounce of my gaze.

"Saan ka natatakot?" she asked with her forehead creased.

"pain?" I turned my sight back to our way. "come to think of it, hindi ba pwede yung masaya na lang? yung contented na? That's why I find it funny. isang araw nakangiti ka come the next day humahagulgol ka na. I don't think it is cupid's doing... it's more like a clown's job"

"Hindi ka marunong magmahal kung hindi ka nasasaktan." She wasn't looking at me but her words made me stare at her. "twins na yun, e. total package".

"How about you? Di ka ba nagsasawa sa crush mo? Grabe 'yung pagka consistent mo do'n? i thought he's just the flavor of the week, di ko naman alam na matagal mo na pa lang target yun."

She raised her hand, she used it to cover her face from the sun.

"Bakit ko pagsasawaan 'yung taong pinaka paborito ko? Masakit magkagusto sa kanya... Pero mas masakit kung susuko na lang ako bigla knowing we could have a chance," she glanced at me pagkatapos niyang sabihin iyon. "Parte na rin siguro ng araw-araw ko 'yung pangungulit ko sa kanya, baka nga pag tinigilan ko siya, ma-miss ako bigla" she chuckled.