Love After Regrets

Chapter XIII

Cloud's POV:

Nang makarating ako sa bahay at matapos kong maghugas ng katawan ay humiga na ako sa kama ko. I feel exhausted. Ewan ko nga ba, lagi na lang akong pagod.

I grabbed my phone and decided to text Hestia.

Inilagay ko na ang phone ko sa bed side table nang maipadala ko ang mensahe ko sakanya. Hindi na ako nag abala pang mag hintay ng reply dahil alam kong wala naman akong matatanggap dahil naka blocked ako sa account niya.

Paano ko nalaman? My messages would not be delivered.

I sighed as I closed my eyes. Alam ko naman nang wala ng pag asa ang relasyon naming dalawa. Halata naman iyon and props to her, hindi niya ako binibigyan ng kahit na katiting na false hope. Mabuti na din iyon at baka matauhan din ako.

Why do I still message her after letting her go? Simple. Malakas ang loob kong hindi niya ito mababasa and this is my way of coping. It makes me somewhat calm when I send messages on her account.

Nakaka miss pa din yung panahon na siya ang mas nakaka daming message sa aming dalawa. Her I love yous, I miss yous and simple goodnight and morning greetings. I miss it all, it pains me to death.

Hindi ko namalayan ang pag tulo ng luha sa aking mga mata. It's been over a month, why does it still hurt?

Maybe because you're not trying to heal.

-----

Kinabukasan...

I woke up early today dahil maaga ding umalis si Ava kaya naman napag desisyonan kong bumangon na lang din since I couldn't go back to sleep na.

I started making my own breakfast tas isusunod ko na lang yung baon ni Hestia.

Don't ask me why I do this. Nagmamahal lang.

Ding dong.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Sa tinagal tagal namin ni Ava dito sa bahay na to ay ngayon lamang may nag doorbell. I didn't even know we have that until now.

I looked through the peeping hole to see who it was at laking gulat ko ng mamukhaan ko kung sino ito. Her auburn hair was tied in a messy bun and her light make up made her even more beautiful. Napaka kinis ng maputing balat nito. Perks of being a Mestiza.

Agad na pinagbuksan ko siya ng pinto.

"Agatha. Anong ginagawa mo dito?" Bungad ko sakanya.

She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "Hello to you, too." She pinched my cheek saka ako nilampasan at kusang pumasok sa bahay.

Sinundan ko siya matapos kong maisira ang pinto. She went straight to the kitchen.

"Oh, you're cooking."

"Yes. What are you doing here?" Ulit ko sa tanong ko dahil hindi ako nito sinagot kanina.

Umupo siya saka kumuha ng saging. She peeled it off and looked at me habang sinusubo iyon. I can't help but get distracted at the way she's eating that damn banana.

I swallowed and keep my eyes on hers, she smirks.

"Just wanted to see you."

Inilapag ko na iyong niluluto ko sa plato sa table. It's just a sunny side up egg with bacon upang mabilis at madali lang lutuin since magluluto pa ako ng para kay Hestia.

"And?" Tanong ko.

Hindi kasi ako makapaniwalang iyon lang ang sadya niya dito. I mean, come on. This girl confesses her feelings towards me the first time we met at Monique's agency building. Napakabilis!

Who falls that fast? I did.

"I'll drive you to work." She casually said at tinapon ang balat ng saging sa trashbin.

At least she have some manners.

"It's okay. I can manage myself." Sagot ko. Isa pa dadaan ako sa opisina ni Hestia ngayon para ihatid yung lunchbox.

"I will drive you to work." Ulit nito but this time her voice was firm. Iyong tipong wala kang karapatang tumanggi.

I sighed, "I have somewhere to be before going to work." Sabi ko na lang dahil ayaw kong malaman nito na pupunta ako kay Hestia. I don't want rumors to spread.

And I don't think Hestia would want that.

At dahil ayaw ko ng gulo, hinayaan ko na lamang siya and decided to just skip making lunch for Hestia just for today. She wouldn't mind naman siguro, or better yet, she wouldn't even notice.

Sinabayan na niya akong kumain ng breakfast. Kakahiya naman pag ako lang ang kakain tas siya manonood lang.

------

"Omygod! Can you please stop following me around?" Naiiritang sabi ko sa babaeng kanina pa ako sinusundan kahit san ako mag punta.

"I can but I won't." Kibit balikat niyang sagot. Her smile is plastered on her face at tila sayang saya ito ngayong araw.

I'm not really irritated by her presence. Naiirita ako sa mga rumors circling around the company. Ayaw kong isipin nilang may relasyon kami ng babaeng ito. I don't want another drama.

Kung bakit naman kasi sunod ng sunod to sakin at kung ano ano ang pinapakalat sa kompanya.

"Don't you have some modelling to do?" I asked.

She smirks as she leaned against the counter, her arms crossed against her chest.

Okay, I'll admit she's hot.

"I do. Do you want to come with me?"

"I have work." I said as I fixed myself a cup of coffee.

"Is that a yes?"

Kumunot ang noo ko, "That's a no."

"But that didn't mean you don't want to, right?" I stared at her, confused. "You said you have work, you didn't answer my question directly. Means you want to but you have work so you can't go."

I rolled my eyes at her while she smiles. Madalas talaga humahanga ako sa takbo ng utak ng babaeng to eh.

"Fine. I don't want to go." I said and grabbed my coffee, she pouted. "Stop pouting, Agatha."

"Agatha."

Natigil kami ng biglang sumulpot si Hera sa harap ko at kamuntikan pang mabuhos sakanya ang kape na hinahawan ko. Sayang, mainit init pa naman to.

"Hey, Hera. How are you?" Agatha said cheerfully and was about to kiss Hera on the cheek but Hera slightly moved a little and instead, she reached for Agatha's hand and shakes it.

"Oh. Right, shake hands it is." Nakangiti lamang si Agatha at hindi man lang ito makikitaan ng pagka dismaya sa mukha. "Monique is the jealous type of girl." she commented.

She knows about Monique and Hera, huh.

Pero yes, Monique could easily get jealous over the smallest things. At balita ko, may namamagitan na sakanilang dalawa but they're denying it. Or at least Monique is denying it due to her contract at her agency. Wala pa naman siyang nakukwento sakin. I'll ask her when she got the time, sobrang busy na din kasi nito dahil kaliwa't kanan ang rampa at pag mo-model niya.

Hindi man lang ngumiti si Hera kay Agatha bagkus ay tinignan niya ako na nakakunot ang noo.

"Mind if I take Cloud for a minute?" She asked Agatha.

"Sure. Be my guest. Anyway, I'll get going now. Bye, babe. See 'ya later!" Lumapit ito sakin at hinalikan ako sa pisngi, huli na ng makaiwas ako dahil sa bilis niyang gumalaw.

She started strutting away from us and when she's out of sight, Hera looked at me and rolled her eyes,

"Tara."

"Yes?" I asked the moment we entered her office.

Humalukipkip ito at humarap sa akin sabay tingin sakin pababa at pataas.

Sexbomb?

"Dad is here." Sabi niya. Tumaas lang ang kilay ko, failing to see how this information affects me. She rolled her eyes, "That means no bringing of women in the building."

"You must be mistaken. I'm not bringing her in here. She's coming here on her own accord." Sabi ko trying to defend myself. "Ikaw naman kasi. I warned you the first time-" I paused and shook my head. "Scratch that, I asked for your help the first time she went here pero anong ginawa mo?" Tanong ko at tinignan siya ng mataman. "You told her she's welcome in your building. Ano ba naman kasing naisip mo at sinabi mo yun?"

"Hindi ko naman a-akalaing magiging obsessed siya sayo." She sat on her swivel chair. "If I had known, I would've banned her before she even stepped at the entrance."

Natawa ako, "Where's our lunch?"

Oh, speaking of lunch. I forgot to bring Hestia her lunchbox today due to some unexpected circumstances. And I meant Agatha, by that. Paano ba naman kasi, ke-aga aga nasa bahay namin siya insisting on driving me to work.

"I asked you here to inform you that we're going on a lunch date with your friend."

"Monique?" I confirmed.

Para namang matatae sa kilig si Hera dahil sa pamumula ng mukha niya at parang kiti kiti ang matang hindi makapirmi at makatingin sakin ng diretso. I chuckled.

"Yeah." She answered after awhile.

"Oy! Seafood!" Excited na anas ko ng makitang nasa seaside kami. I slept throughout the drive dahil ayaw kong mainggit sa dalawang kasama ko.

Lumabas na ako ng kotse at hinintay si Hera na pagbuksan si Monique ng pinto.

Monique has her hat and some sunglasses on in an attempt to cover her face from people around here but on second thought, parang wala naman akong nakikitang ibang customer kundi kami lang.

She encircled her arms around Hera's biceps and leans her head on her shoulder as they started walking inside the restau. I rolled my eyes, so this is what it feels like to be a chaperone.

"I rented the place." Hera muttered as she noticed my eyes wandering around.

Tumango na lamang ako. Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng pera.

"Kamusta?" Tanong ni Monique sakin nang makaupo kami. Nasa harap ko sila ni Hera.

"I'm fine, I guess." Sagot ko.

"Your heart?"

"Fine." Tipid kong sagot dahil ayaw ko na munang pag usapan ang estado ko ngayon.

Alam naman ng lahat na hindi pa ako nakaka move on sa ex ko and day by day it's getting harder and harder dahil bawat segundo naiisip ko siya and what we could've been doing if we were still together. Ang hirap.

"Your friend- Agatha was it?" Tanong ni Hera.

Monique looked at Hera and I could see the adoration in her face as she stared at hers. Wow! So this is Monique when inlove huh.

"She's not my friend, she's my colleague." Pag tatama ni Monique kay Hera.

"Okay. Anyway, she's been visiting Cloud everyday for the past two weeks already."

"Para ka namang batang nagsusumbong." Puna ko kay Hera dahil sa paraan ng pagkakasabi nito ay para bang may kasalanan ako.

Monique looked at me, "She mentioned about courting you."

Nagtagis ang panga ko, I don't like the sound of that.

"No one is courting me." Sabi ko naman.

Monique smiled, "Lady Hestia got you so whipped, Cloud pero don't you think it's time to accept the fact that she's not into you, anymore?"

Napakuyom ang kamao ko, "Just let me be. After all, I gave her her freedom." I said through gritted teeth.

"You're wasting your time." Monique said, "Sir Lance is courting her."

My heart dropped at that. My stomach sunk at tila kinukulikot ang puso ko sa sakit nang malaman ko iyon.

"Hestia never mentioned anything to me." Hera said.

I swallowed a lump on my throat and tried to stopped the tears from forming in my eyes.

She doesn't really love me anymore, huh.

I roamed my eyes around to avoid their pathetic stares. Ang pinak ayaw ko sa lahat ay yung kaawaan ako. Sa kakalibot ng mata ko, biglang sumakit ang puso ko.

I focused my gaze at the couple about three tables away from us.

"I thought you rented the place?" Takang tanong ko kay Hera without detaching my eyes at them, silently eating.

"Yes, I did." Sagot niya.

"Then why do I see a couple here?"

"Where?" Inilibot nila ang mga mata sa paligid and then stopped at where I was looking.

Monique's jaw dropped, and Hera's face contorted of rising anger. Nagkibit balikat ako kahit na sa loob loob ko ay gusto ko ng sumabog sa galit at sakit. I tried hard to calm myself dahil alam kong wala akong karapatan and she can do whatever she wants dahil wala namang kami.

"Is that Lady Hestia?" Tanong ni Monique. "And who is that guy? Lance?"

"Finish your food and let's get out of here." Seryosong utos ni Hera at tahimik na itinuloy ang pag ubos sa pag kain.

Sensing the urgency, Monique followed Hera's instruction. Ramdam ko ang namumuong tension sa table namin dahil sa dalawang taong walang kaalam alam.

Our lunch date went peaceful kahit ganon ang nangyari. Wala namang ibang nangyari. I just stared at them having their lunch habang ako, hindi ko na enjoy yung pagkain kahit na paborito ko ang nakahain.

"I'll see you later, yeah?" Paalam ni Monique kay Hera habang sakop sakop nito ang pisngi niya sa dalawang kamay.

I rolled my eyes. Landi naman.

Tumango lang si Hera and puckered her lips, asking for a kiss. Tumalikod na lamang ako sakanila at nauna ng pumasok ulit sa kotse dahil laswang laswa na ako sa kanilang dalawa.

------

"What are you doing here?"

Ngumiti lang ako sakanya at nilapitan siya upang halikan sana ito sa pisngi ngunit iniharang nito ang hintuturo sa aking dibdib.

She scrunched her nose, "You're drunk."

I chuckled, "Tipsy, not drunk."

Rumolyo ang magaganda nitong mata saka bahagya akong itinulak. She crossed her arms against her chest and looked away.

Nandito kami ngayon sa labas ng kompanya niya, naabutan ko siyang nag hihintay sa gilid ng daan.

"Ride with me." Yaya ko na lang sakanya dahil mukhang matatagalan pa iyong sundo niya.

"No, thanks." Tanggi niya.

Hindi ko siya pinakinggan at lumapit pa dito. Kita ko ang bahagyang pag atras niya papalayo sa akin. Ouch. Ganyan na ba siya nandidiri sa akin? Or is Lance the jealousy type of guy? Ini-ingatan ba nito ang damdamin ng taong yun?

Nevertheless, I stand my ground at tumabi sakanya. Hindi naman na ito lumayo pa at hinayaan na lamang ako. I could smell her natural scent with a mixture of her perfume. It's so alluring.

"How have you been?" Tanong ko matapos ang mahabang katahimikan.

She just shrugged, "Fine."

"I think you're driver's stucked on a traffic jam."

"Your point?" She asks.

"Sa akin ka na sumabay." Ngisi ko.

I could sense her rolling her eyes at me, "You're drunk."

"I will make sure you're safe." Ngiti ko sakanya.

She looked like she's considering my offer and after a while, she rolled her eyes and nodded.

"I hope you won't mind riding in a bike." Sabi ko.

I bought this motorcycle after I've given back the one she gave me. Hindi nga lang ito kasing gara at kasing mamahalin ng bigay niya but this will suffice. Isa pa nararating ko naman ang gusto kong puntahan ng maayos.

"Didn't you gave back what I've given you?" Kunot noo niyang tanong sa akin habang sinusundan ako kung san nakapark ang motor ko.

"I did. I bought a new one." Sabi ko.

"Did you really." Parang nang aakusa nitong turan. "Or someone gifted you a new one."

Napatawa ako, "Sino namang baliw ang gagawa nyan?"

Rumolyo ang mata nito at hindi na umimik.

Kinuha ko na ang spare helmet sa lalagyan sa likod ng motor ko at inilagay ko sa ulo niya. This is out of habit, ganito ang madalas na ginagawa ko kapag naiisipan naming mag stroll lang.

"Hop in, babe." Kindat ko dito. Sumunod naman siya.

I made sure she's safe bago ko pinasibad ang motor.

I felt her hands wrapped around my waist, medyo napaigtad ako sa naramdaman ko dahil hindi ko naman inakalang gagawin niya iyon.

"I swear if we fall, I'll kill you." Banta niya sa likod ko.

I chuckled, "Kill me then." Makahulogang sabat ko naman. "Because I never stopped falling for you."

Hindi siya umimik. It's either she didn't hear or she just want to ignore me. Either way it's fine. Ang mahala ay ako ang kasama niya ngayon at ramdam ko siya sa likod ko.

Milyon milyong boltahe ng kuryente ang dumadaloy sa sistema ko habang yakap yakap ako ni Hestia. Iyong emosyon ko ay parang sasabog na sa aking dibdib. Those days that I've been missing her, those tears- parang nabalewala dahil sa simpleng yakap niya ngayon

"I told you I'll make sure you're home safe." Kindat ko sakanya at inalalayan siya sa pag alis ng helmet.

She fixed her hair then looked at me. Walang ka emo-emosyon sa mukha nito.

"Thanks."

"Anytime!"

"I'll get going now." Sabi niya at akmang aalis na ngunit pinigilan ko ito. I grabbed her wrist and gently spun her around so she could face me again.

I felt her stiffen as I quickly enveloped her around my arms.

"Just a few seconds." I pleaded when I felt her pushing my body away. "I missed you." I said.

Hindi ko na napigilan ang pag tulo ng luha mula sa aking mga mata. Hinigpitan ko ang yakap sakanya dahil pakiramdam ko ay ito na ang huli.

"Why did you stop loving me?" Nahihirapang tanong ko sakanya. Alam kong dinig sa aking boses ang pag iyak ko.

"I can't answer that. I just did." There were no remorse nor regrets in her voice. It was plain cold.

She stopped pushing me away, her hands are on either side of her body.

"May chance pa ba?" Lakas loob kong tanong. Todo kabog ang dibdib ko sa mga oras na ito.

"I'm sorry."

Napahigpit ang yakap ko sakanya at inisiksik ang mukha ko sa balikat nito. I cried, finally. I cried like a baby. Lahat ng pagpipigil ko ay balewala ngayon. Lumabas ang lahat ng hinanakit ko mula ng iwan niya ako.

She let me cry. Wala siyang ginawa kundi ang hayaan akong yakapin siya at umiyak na lamang.

"I love you, Hestia. I love you so much and I will keep on loving you even if you won't."

Ang sakit.

"Sabihin mo naman sa akin kung paano ka makuha ulit. Kung pano ka mapaibig ulit." Pagmamakaawa ko dito.

She sighed, "Save yourself, Cloud. Kahit na anong gawin mo hindi na mababago ang isip ko. I don't love you, and I will not love you anymore."

Aray.

She pushed me away, this time I let her. She carressed my cheek and wipe my tears.

"Please, move on."

Fresh tears started running down my cheek as my heart is once again being torn apart.

-----

Nagising ako sa ring ng cellphone ko. Pinilit ko ang sariling bumangon kahit na parang minamartilyo ang ulo ko sa sakit. I grabbed my phone on the bedside table and answered the call.

"Hello?" My voice were groggy.

"Kagigising mo lang?" It was Hera. Oo nga pala, may pasok nga pala ako ngayon. s**t.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I think I'm gonna take a day off today." Sabi ko na lang, sana ay pumayag.

"What happened last night?" She asked.

That's the last thing I want to remember.

"Nothing." I lied through my teeth.

"Don't lie to me." She said firmly, "Ako ang nag dala sayo pauwi. Good thing you're sister is very kind."

Oh, god. Wala akong maalala.

"I can't remember anything from last night. What happened?" Balik tanong ko sakanya.

"You passed out on Monique and then she called me to pick you up."

"Oh yeah. I think we were at a bar." Pikit matang sagot ko sakanya habang hilot hilot ang sintido ko.

"You bet. What happened?"

"Trip ko lang uminom."

"Is this about Hestia?" Lumambot ang tono ng boses nito. My heart ached. "I heard from Rien that you were the one who took Hestia home."

"Marites." Natatawang sabi ko, trying to avoid this conversation. "I'm not ready for your interrogation, Hera. Let me rest." Sabi ko na lang.

"Okay. Bago ko makalimutan, Agatha was here. She was looking for you. She'll be at your house in 10 minutes, I suppose."

I groaned, "I want to be alone." Ngunit hindi na yata matutupad iyon dahil narinig ko ang doorbell. "bye." I hang up the phone and walked towards the door.

"Come in and let me sleep." Sabi ko nang mabuksan ko ang pinto. Hinayaan ko lang na nakaawang yun saka bumalik na sa kwarto ko at humiga.

"Here, take this." She gave me a pill and a glass of water. "It'll help with the head."

"Thanks." I said saka ininom yung gamot.

"Rest. I'll cook you some food."

Tumango na lang ako at hinayaang sakupin ng antok.

"Wake up." I could feel a light tapping against my cheek as I stirred up from sleep.

My visionwas a bit blurry until it adjusted to the light.

"Agatha?" Anas ko saka umupo, "You're still here."

"Of course." She smiled, "Here, your soup. Malaki ka na, feed yourself." Utos niya, I chuckled.

"Sweet na sana eh." I joked.

"I'm not the sweet type." She shrugged.

"Thank you."

"Sure. Eat up nang makatrabaho ka na ulit."

Tumango ako saka sumubo ng soup niya, "Oh wow." I exclaimed, "You made this?" Di makapaniwalang tanong ko.

"Of course, dumbass." She rolled her eyes at me. "Plus points?"

"Plus points?" Takang tanong ko dito.

"Sayo. Do I get a plus points for doing this?"

Napatawa naman ako, "Sure. Whatever that means."

—————

Hestia's POV:

7am.

Bumaba ako ng kotse at dumiretso na sa loob ng opisina ko sa ikalimang palapag. My employees greeted me as I walked passed them, dahil wala ako sa mood ay tinanguan ko lang ang mga ito.

Pagpasok ko sa opisina ay agad kong ni-lock ang pinto saka tumungo sa table ko. I sat down, put my things down and started working. Wala akong sinasayang na oras because time for me is valuable.

Dahil subsob ako sa trabaho ay hindi ko namalayan ang pag daan ng oras. Saka lamang ako tumigil ng mag ring ang phone ko, notifying a message. I grabbed my phone and read it.



I rolled my eyes and decided to ignore his chat and put my phone aside.

Wala ako sa mood at panahon para jan. He keeps on bothering me ever since Hugo passed away and it's annoying, really. Ang akala kasi nito ay si Hugo ang tinutukoy ko sa sinabi ko sa ball na 'I have someone I like.'

Stupid ass.

Minutes has passed and I can't understand myself. Para bang may bumabagabag sa loob loob ko't hindi ako mapakali. I checked my phone at hindi ko alam kung bakit pero natagpuan ko ang sariling binubuksan ang isang convo sa phone ko na matagal ng nakatago.

Nothing...?

Tinignan ko ang oras, alas dyes y media na ng umaga but no sign of that certain person. At some unknown reason my head started heating. Usually at this hour, tadtad na ako ng mensahe galing sakanya pero ngayon? Wala. Wala ni isa.

Nope, it's not affecting me. Not at all.

Pilit kong pinapakalma ang sarili ko dahil ayokong masira ang araw na ito. I really can't understand what I'm feeling right now.

And then my phone vibrated against the glass table. As quickly as I can, I grabbed my phone to check who it was but to my utter disappointment, it's just my cousin.

Hera sent a photo.

Wait, a group chat? Since when did we have a group chat?

I opened the photo anyway and oh boy. The heat that was rising earlier put out an invisible smoke out of my ear and nose. It pisses me off.

Another notification.



I turned off my phone and ignored them. Nakakadagdag lamang sila sa init ng ulo ko ngayon.

The telephone on my desk started ringing so I grabbed it and put it on my ear.

"What?!"

"H-hello, Lady Hestia? Are you okay?" Ang natatakot na boses ng aking sekretarya ang bumungad sa kabilang linya.

I sighed, "What is it?" Tanong ko.

"Sir Lance wanted to see you."

"Tell him I'm not here." Utos ko.

Isa pa tong lalaking to, nakakairita!

"Ma'am, he's already here."

"I don't care, Lalaine. Tell him to leave or I'll call the security." I said through gritted teeth. Pabagsak kong ibinaba ang telepono at hindi na siya hinayaan pang makapag salita.

She better be successful in making him leave or else.

This is pissing me off!

I grabbed the telephone and dialed the number on the security area.

"Renzo from Dela Frontera H building speaking, how may I help you?"

"Renzo." Tawag ko.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"lunchbox?" Tanong ko, I know he knows what I'm talking about.

There was a pause from the other line, "Ah, eh— ma'am, wala naman pong lunchbox dito." he said, carefully.

"What do you mean?" Konti na lang at sasabog na yata ako sa inis.

Could this day get any more worse?!

And don't ask me why I'm pissed off, I just am!

"Hindi po dumaan si Cloud dito ngayong araw, ma'am."

I put the telephone down at kulang na lang ay masira ito pati ang desk ko sa lakas ng impact and I don't even give a slightest f**k!

Is this because of last night?

But why am I being like this?

Fuck!